Three Cheers

Inside the hospital, I was put in a delivery room just about ready to give birth. My baby boy was on his way here and there was no Gerard insight. Fran had been outside the delivery room calling him, but no one was picking up. She had stayed with me while my parents watched Busy, Thora and Anthony for us. I was thankful, but needed a distraction because this baby was coming sooner rather than later.

The pain was immense, the fear grew considerably as I lay there, wondering if Gerard would ever call back. Every 5 minutes Fran left the room to call one of them and hadn't gotten an answer. Finally, after about 3 hours in labor, my doctor had come in and checked on me and said what I feared; "Looks like the little guy is ready. He's an eager one."

A mix of emotions soared through me; anxiety, sadness, but I was extremely excited to have my son. I was only hung up that Gerard wouldn't be there; "So soon?"

He chuckled, "Yep."

I had barely noticed how sweaty and jittery I had become; I was so deep in thought about Gerard. I looked at Frances and begged her to call again, "Leave a million messages if you've got to."

She had nodded, "Alright, October."

The nurses had set me up, giving me smiles and told me that I would be okay. My head was both somewhere else and here all at the same time. The pain from labor was bringing me back, though; I couldn't really remember what time it was, the day or even my freakin' doctor's name. All I could recall was them telling me that I could relieve pressure and push. They all kept telling me that it would be over soon; "That's right, October, keep pushing! He's almost here."

And then, like a cloud of smoke, a magic trick really, he was here. The cries and wails of my son broke the air and I was thrown back into a dizzying reality. I was handled a warm, wailing bundle and that's all I could hear; my son crying.

Baby Ronan looked exactly like Gerard. He has the exact same little pointy nose and the frown. My heart had began to beat real fast when I finally saw him; "Hey there, cutie, I'm your mommy."

As he cried a bit more, I was no longer worried if Gerard knew or not. He would know soon enough, I was just so happy that our son was finally here. I don't think I've ever been so content with life upon looking at a child; any child; I felt complete, that I didn't need anything or anyone else.

"Aw," I heard Fran say as she came over, "Look at little Gerard."

I smiled and then looked up at her, "He looks just like him."

"He does." Her head tilted to get a good look at him. "I got a hold of Frank, he said Gerard was in a meeting but he would relay the message."

I looked back at my son, "It's okay, I'm just happy he knows now. God, I feel so calm and happy."

Fran pet my hair back and then patted my back, "Want me to go get the girls?"

I nodded, "Yeah, they'll want to see him after he's all cleaned up."

Fran again patted my back and told me she would be back. Once she had gone, the nurse took little Ronan, cleaned him up, placed him in a clean swaddle and then had given him back to me. I was placed in the recovery room with him, looking him over before they had filled out the birth certificate.

Everything seemed to slip by so quickly, I was just lost in looking at my new son. I was recovering from the birth, but the pain wasn't bothering me at all. I could not stop looking at Ronan and how he is; he had barely opened his eyes and afterward he would snooze in my arms. He has large hazel eyes that were more green than Busy's, that pointed nose and pouty, down turned lips and chubby cheeks. He looks so much like Gerard had when he was a baby; I remember his baby pictures; he doesn't look that much like Busy had as a baby, but I think that's because she favors me.

I couldn't wait until Gerard would see him.

The girls had arrived with Fran and my parents; Thora was more than enthusiastic to see Ronan. She had rushed in before everyone else and then paused when she saw me holding him, "Hi mama."

I waved her over; she rushed and climbed on the chair beside the bed and then crawled onto the bed. Everyone else had come in after, but Thora captured all of my attention as she kneeled beside me and looked over the baby, "Hi baby."

Thora smiled and looked up at me, "This is Ronan?"

"Yep, this is Ronan."

She giggled, "He looks like daddy."

"Yeah, I know." I laughed softly.

Busy had come over, climbing onto the edge of the bed, "Can I see?"

I cradled Ronan carefully upward so Busy could see him. She smiled, "He does!"

"He's so handsome." I heard my mom murmur beside me.

"He ain't ugly." Frances said with a small laugh. "Gerard called and said that he's on his way, he got on a red eye and should be here in a few hours or so."

"I can't wait." I said to myself; I kissed the top of Ronan's head, "You're daddy will be here soon, little buddy."

Within an hour or so, my parents had taken turns looking over the baby, along with the girls and then he was returned to the nursery. I was able to sleep for a bit before I was awaken by a hand caressing my cheek. My eyes had fluttered a bit, and I saw Gerard there in the dim lighting.

"Oh, G," I smiled and sat up a bit, wincing at the sore and dull pain in my hips, "I missed you."

He smiled back at me and kissed my lips quickly, "I missed you, too. How's the baby?"

"He's just fine. He looks exactly like you, Gerard. He's your twin."

He chuckled and sat at the edge of the bed, "How're the girls?"

"They're just fine, they're with my mom and dad." I cleared my throat, "What time is it?"

"Almost 9." He told me, "I'm sorry for gettin' here so late, I was caught--"

I stopped him, "You're here now. Let me buzz the nurse to bring the baby in, you've got to see him."

Gerard just smiled as I did so; I called the nurse and told her that Gerard wanted to see the baby. After, I noticed that he had his bag on the floor; "Did you come straight here from the airport?"

He nodded, "Yep."

"You're crazy."

"I really wanted to see you and the baby." He answered, "You don't understand how excited I am."

I took his hand in mine, "Oh, I know."

He coursed his other hand through his hair, "I couldn't wait to get off that plane, October," he exhaled, "I was shaking the entire time, and now all I wanna do is fall asleep with you and our baby."

I felt my heart flutter, "I missed you, G."

He leaned over and kissed me again, "I missed you, too."

Within minutes, baby Ronan was brought in by the night nurse. She had smiled and handed the baby to Gerard, "Hello there, daddy. This is your son; he looks just like you, if I do say so myself."

Gerard chuckled and cradled Ronan easily; "Holy...shit, he does." He breathed out heavily, "Wow."

Ronan stirred a bit; the nurse then left and we were alone. Gerard was completely lost like I had been. We were quiet, Gerard was murmuring things to himself that I couldn't make out, and I didn't want to intrude.

"October," he said suddenly, eyes still focused on the baby, "Can I tell you somethin'?"

I hummed, "Yeah."

"Is it weird that I feel protective of him?"

I shook my head, furrowing my brows a bit, "No, of course not, Gerard."

"No, like, more than I feel for Biz and Thora..." He trailed. "I don't know why I feel so strongly about this."

"It's because he's your first born son." I rubbed his back.

He exhaled and then looked at me, "Yeah...I just don't want to do anything wrong. I don't...I don't want to do what my dad did to me."

I shook my head, "You won't, Gerard. You're not your dad."

He bit at the inside of his lip, "I don't want to fuck up and accidentally turn into him."

I leaned over and kissed his cheek, "You won't, I promise."

He looked back at Ronan, "Make sure I don't?"

I rubbed his back continuously, "I will, babe."