‹ Prequel: Heavy
Three Cheers
"It's just me and you kid."
As the days and weeks went by, my due date, December 24th, was fast approaching. I was a bit frightened when it had come and nothing happened. I had called my doctor and he said that it was normal, but if I didn't have contractions by the following day, he would have me come into induce labor.
I stayed at home, waiting and touching my huge belly. My baby would be big, I knew that. She kicked me at times, swift little kicks to remind me that she was there. I was happy with the kicks, I just couldn't want to see her. I couldn't wait to kiss her and introduce her to the world.
Frances stayed with me every step of the way. I was very thankful for her, and I was happy to have her with me. Of course, like a repetitive record, I really wished Gerard had been the one with me.
By the 26th, I was admitted into the hospital, and have my labor induced. I was in the worst pain for so long, I really thought I would die. It was also some kind of relief, you know what I mean? The pain helped me feel better, I did a lot more crying, like gut wrenching sobs and cries. I was happy to go through it, it was freeing in a way.
I was in labor for 50 hours, without any pain medication, and dry tear stains on my face. I didn't make a whimper or cry when my doctor finally had seen I was dilated enough to start pushing. I was in the hospital room by myself with the doctor and nurses. I gave four big pushes, and in the middle of the afternoon on December 28th, Busy Marie was born. She cried like any regular baby, and I was happy to finally hear her; more tears on my end were shed.
I mean, I cried for a lot of different reasons. For one, in the room, I was by myself; Second, my daughter was finally here; Third, my body was killing me. Fourth, after cleaning her up, I got to hold Busy and get a good look at her.
Gosh, she was so beautiful when I saw her chubby little cheeks and her chubby little fingers. She had just a inch of dark hair, and I hadn't seen her eyes, but I knew she was so beautiful. I felt bad for Gerard, he missed out on meeting the prettiest little girl in the entire world.
I had let Fran come in and hold Busy, and she had said the things I thought.
"Gerard is missing out." She snorted, "She's so pretty."
Busy slept for a while in Fran's arms until the nurse took her to the nursery. Fran stayed with me a while, then I told her she could go.
"Sure?" She asked with a small frown.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm really tired."
She nodded, "Okay, call me if you need me." Fran got up, hugged me and pecked my cheek.
Once she was gone, my mind began to wonder. I thought about a lot of things and I hated myself for it. I was tired of thinking about the same old thing, it was a habit. A habit that was hard to drop. It was gonna kill me, the way I thought, I wanted shut my head off.
I stopped thinking and just numbed myself with TV. Then, when the nurse brought Busy back in, I numbed myself of her beauty and her pretty little face. I was happy to see light brown eyes when she finally looked at me. They were big and almond shaped. She's a true beauty.
"It's just me and you kid." I had cooed to her, "I love you."
I knew then that Busy was truly the only person I had to live for. She's my entire world, the only person who matters. No one else in the world comes before her, not a single soul.
Time flew by me in a big flash. It was like I blinked my eye and an entire year had passed. Nothing had made me too busy not to be with my baby girl, but things just flew past me, that I couldn't believe how big Busy was getting.
In one year she had grown in a few teeth, she learned to crawl then immediately learned to walk. She was almost running by the time I had noticed how big she was. She had grown out her brown hair that I brushed everyday into little braids, and I dressed her up in pretty dresses I made. She had become my inspiration to start a boutique for children; I called it Busy Bee's. Busy became my everything; my inspiration, my reason for breathing and waking up in the morning.
She became my breath of fresh air.
A new start to my life.
When that little took my hand and would kiss my cheek, I held no hate for Gerard. Sure, he missed out, but he gave me the greatest little gift anyone could give me. Busy is one little thing I could never regret.
We lived in New York that year, until Fran had gone back to England for a while to work for a new company. I then packed all my stuff up and moved to California, to Los Angeles to branch out my boutique and see my family. The move was actually great for us; Busy loves my dad, and she loves her cousins, and even my mom loved her. I also spent my time getting reacquainted with my family. My nieces and nephews ranged in all ages. I loved them, they were all so sweet and cute. Since I couldn't care for Kruger much, I let them share him. He seemed to love it; he got to run around and play with a lot of little kids. It was good for Busy, and it was good for me too. I got a lot of work done, I did a bunch of deals and I was able to be with my baby twenty four seven.
It was 2006 when I was reminded of Gerard again. It had been the longest time since I had thought of him at all. Even when I looked at Busy, I wasn't reminded of him.
Anyway, Busy was a bit over 2, and I was driving home from grocery shopping. Busy was in her car seat, in the back, humming along to the radio, then this song came on. It was slow, I suddenly recognized the band once the singer began to sing. Out of panic I changed it.
"Mommy! No, back!" Busy whined brokenly; she didn't know full sentences yet.
I changed the station back and listened reluctantly to the song. Busy sang along in her baby talk until it was over, and the thought of Gerard popped into my head. My first thought was: "Holy crap, he isn't dead yet?"
When the song was over, the radio DJ came on; "That was My Chemical Romance with Welcome to the Black Parade. The band will be at the Staples center next week, so make sure you get your tickets!"
Busy gasped behind me, "Mommy! Mommy I see!"
I raised my brow, then looked back at her when I approached a red light, "You're too little baby."
"Please?!" Busy begged.
"I'm sorry, baby."
Busy huffed and crossed her arms, "No fair. No fair. No fair." She repeated with a shake of her head until we got home.
I took her from her car seat, and told her to stand with me while I got the groceries out. Once I got everything, Busy followed me up the porch, skipping. I frowned though, when I saw someone on my porch, waiting for me.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
I stayed at home, waiting and touching my huge belly. My baby would be big, I knew that. She kicked me at times, swift little kicks to remind me that she was there. I was happy with the kicks, I just couldn't want to see her. I couldn't wait to kiss her and introduce her to the world.
Frances stayed with me every step of the way. I was very thankful for her, and I was happy to have her with me. Of course, like a repetitive record, I really wished Gerard had been the one with me.
By the 26th, I was admitted into the hospital, and have my labor induced. I was in the worst pain for so long, I really thought I would die. It was also some kind of relief, you know what I mean? The pain helped me feel better, I did a lot more crying, like gut wrenching sobs and cries. I was happy to go through it, it was freeing in a way.
I was in labor for 50 hours, without any pain medication, and dry tear stains on my face. I didn't make a whimper or cry when my doctor finally had seen I was dilated enough to start pushing. I was in the hospital room by myself with the doctor and nurses. I gave four big pushes, and in the middle of the afternoon on December 28th, Busy Marie was born. She cried like any regular baby, and I was happy to finally hear her; more tears on my end were shed.
I mean, I cried for a lot of different reasons. For one, in the room, I was by myself; Second, my daughter was finally here; Third, my body was killing me. Fourth, after cleaning her up, I got to hold Busy and get a good look at her.
Gosh, she was so beautiful when I saw her chubby little cheeks and her chubby little fingers. She had just a inch of dark hair, and I hadn't seen her eyes, but I knew she was so beautiful. I felt bad for Gerard, he missed out on meeting the prettiest little girl in the entire world.
•••
I had let Fran come in and hold Busy, and she had said the things I thought.
"Gerard is missing out." She snorted, "She's so pretty."
Busy slept for a while in Fran's arms until the nurse took her to the nursery. Fran stayed with me a while, then I told her she could go.
"Sure?" She asked with a small frown.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm really tired."
She nodded, "Okay, call me if you need me." Fran got up, hugged me and pecked my cheek.
Once she was gone, my mind began to wonder. I thought about a lot of things and I hated myself for it. I was tired of thinking about the same old thing, it was a habit. A habit that was hard to drop. It was gonna kill me, the way I thought, I wanted shut my head off.
I stopped thinking and just numbed myself with TV. Then, when the nurse brought Busy back in, I numbed myself of her beauty and her pretty little face. I was happy to see light brown eyes when she finally looked at me. They were big and almond shaped. She's a true beauty.
"It's just me and you kid." I had cooed to her, "I love you."
I knew then that Busy was truly the only person I had to live for. She's my entire world, the only person who matters. No one else in the world comes before her, not a single soul.
•••
Time flew by me in a big flash. It was like I blinked my eye and an entire year had passed. Nothing had made me too busy not to be with my baby girl, but things just flew past me, that I couldn't believe how big Busy was getting.
In one year she had grown in a few teeth, she learned to crawl then immediately learned to walk. She was almost running by the time I had noticed how big she was. She had grown out her brown hair that I brushed everyday into little braids, and I dressed her up in pretty dresses I made. She had become my inspiration to start a boutique for children; I called it Busy Bee's. Busy became my everything; my inspiration, my reason for breathing and waking up in the morning.
She became my breath of fresh air.
A new start to my life.
When that little took my hand and would kiss my cheek, I held no hate for Gerard. Sure, he missed out, but he gave me the greatest little gift anyone could give me. Busy is one little thing I could never regret.
We lived in New York that year, until Fran had gone back to England for a while to work for a new company. I then packed all my stuff up and moved to California, to Los Angeles to branch out my boutique and see my family. The move was actually great for us; Busy loves my dad, and she loves her cousins, and even my mom loved her. I also spent my time getting reacquainted with my family. My nieces and nephews ranged in all ages. I loved them, they were all so sweet and cute. Since I couldn't care for Kruger much, I let them share him. He seemed to love it; he got to run around and play with a lot of little kids. It was good for Busy, and it was good for me too. I got a lot of work done, I did a bunch of deals and I was able to be with my baby twenty four seven.
•••
It was 2006 when I was reminded of Gerard again. It had been the longest time since I had thought of him at all. Even when I looked at Busy, I wasn't reminded of him.
Anyway, Busy was a bit over 2, and I was driving home from grocery shopping. Busy was in her car seat, in the back, humming along to the radio, then this song came on. It was slow, I suddenly recognized the band once the singer began to sing. Out of panic I changed it.
"Mommy! No, back!" Busy whined brokenly; she didn't know full sentences yet.
I changed the station back and listened reluctantly to the song. Busy sang along in her baby talk until it was over, and the thought of Gerard popped into my head. My first thought was: "Holy crap, he isn't dead yet?"
When the song was over, the radio DJ came on; "That was My Chemical Romance with Welcome to the Black Parade. The band will be at the Staples center next week, so make sure you get your tickets!"
Busy gasped behind me, "Mommy! Mommy I see!"
I raised my brow, then looked back at her when I approached a red light, "You're too little baby."
"Please?!" Busy begged.
"I'm sorry, baby."
Busy huffed and crossed her arms, "No fair. No fair. No fair." She repeated with a shake of her head until we got home.
I took her from her car seat, and told her to stand with me while I got the groceries out. Once I got everything, Busy followed me up the porch, skipping. I frowned though, when I saw someone on my porch, waiting for me.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
♠ ♠ ♠
Who do you think it is?