Three Cheers

Busy fell right to sleep after I made her dinner and read her a story. I tucked her in and closed her door over. Jon was expected to come over just to hang out with me, but I assumed there was going to be something more.

I was nervous as hell, and I understood why. I was afraid of us becoming physical; I hadn't had sex or touched anyone in over 3 years. I wasn't sure if I was even worthy enough of being touched.

My nervousness continued when Jon came over. He smiled at me, "I see Gerard didn't touch you."

I rolled my eyes, "He sure did snap at me though." I grumbled.

"I shouldn't have left." Jon said.

"You staying would've been nice. As soon as Gerard started yelling, Busy took off, I mean, she actually left the house. Gerard and I were looking for her for 45 minutes. She walks fast."

He frowned, "She alright?"

I nodded, "She's fine."

"I'm sorry I didn't stay." Jon came in close to me.

"It's alright, Jon," I smiled when I felt his arms wrap around my waist.

"Can I make it up to you?" He smirked slightly at me.

My heart thumped, I bit at my lip, "Well... How exactly?"

He chuckled, "You'll see."

Again, I was in the predicament of kissing Jon and feeling weird about it. I wanted it to feel right, but it didn't. I didn't want to stop him, I mean, I had hoped it would get better.

My breathing was heavy and I thought I would stop when we got to my bed. I was praying, mentally, for my feelings to change, but they didn't. I cursed myself for thinking of Gerard during all of it. I'm sure Gerard never thought of me when he was fucking his girlfriend. I only wanted to think about Jon and how much that maybe it would be better with him than with Gerard.

Unfortunately, nothing changed. Sex was sex, and it wasn't spectacular as it used to be with Gerard. Sex with Jon felt horribly wrong, it didn't feel right. I felt like we shouldn't have done it. I regret feeling the way I did, I shouldn't have.

But, you could tell, from the beginning of the act, that I wasn't into it. I wasn't all that in for it. I wasn't as enthusiastic as I should have been.

After it was all over, Jon and I laid in my bed, and he was looking at me. He looked a bit sad almost... Lost, I guess. I looked at him, "I'm sorry." I said softly.

"I tried to change your mind about him." He said quietly.

"Change my mind about who?"

"Gerard."

I furrowed my brows, "Gerard? What does he have to do with this?"

"October, you're in love with him." Jon sat up, "I can see it whenever he's around, you look at him the way my first love looked at me. It's easy to say."

I shook my head, "No, I hate his guts."

"Yeah, after today, but you do love him. More than you'll ever love me."

"Jon, I'm so sorry," I said softly, "I like you a lot, I do--"

He cut me off, "Believe me, I know, and I understand." He kissed my cheek, "But, Gerard doesn't treat you how you should. I'll be here for you whenever you need me."

I swallowed thickly, "You don't hate me?"

"No, I don't hate you." He said with a smile, "I like you, you're beautiful and sweet, and a wonderful mother. I'm grateful that I have you in my life."

"Thank you." I kissed his cheek.

"You're welcome. But, do me a favor," I looked at him quizzically, "If you go back with Gerard, make sure he treats you right. I'd hate to have to beat his ass."

I chuckled, "Sure. I will."

Jon smiled, kissing my cheek one more time, "I'm gonna head out. This doesn't change anything."

"Not a thing." I agreed, "You're a great friend."


It was sad that Jon saw my true feelings for Gerard when I couldn't even comprehend them myself. It was sad that he saw it, too, because I tried hard to be something to him. I didn't want it to be this way, I did have feelings for Gerard, but he's such a jerk.

And, I didn't mean it when I agreed that I wished we never met, because I was glad we had. I love him. I wanted him, but I hate his fucking attitude.

I tried to put it away in my head the following morning. I got up with Busy and made her breakfast and gave her a bath. She played with her mermaid Barbie in the water, "Mama, Jon come today?"

I shook my head, "No, sweetness. Me and Jon broke up."

She looked at me, "Broke up?"

"We aren't going to be boyfriend and girlfriend anymore."

"Why?"

"We just aren't. We don't want to be."

She hummed, "You and daddy can now."

"No, sweetie, your daddy is with Eliza."

"Yuck!" She groaned, "I no like her!"

"I know, baby, but your daddy does."

"Why?"

I shrugged, "I don't know."

"Eliza say she has a baby. I no like her baby."

I frowned, "I'm sorry." I told her, "But, if she does, you'll be a big sister."

"No!" She cried.

I sighed, "It's alright, Biz, you'll always be my baby."

She smiled, "Kay."

I washed her hair and rinsed her off, "Hey, you wanna hear another secret?"

Her hazel eyes lit up, "Yes!"

"You can't tell your daddy, okay? This is between me and you."

She nodded vigorously, "I promise!"

"Alright, I... Um, I'm really sad your daddy is with Eliza."

"How come?" She gave me a confused and sad look.

"Because I really love your daddy, even when he makes me mad."

"Yous love daddy!" She squealed.

"Yeah, but you can't tell him."

"I promise."

"Your lips are sealed." I pretended to zip her lips closed, "And locked."

She nodded quickly again.

"I miss him, too, B. He used to make me laugh and smile. We used to dance and joke around, it was nice."

She looked at me sadly, matching my facial expression, "Yous can make him a card."

"I will. We can make his present too."

Busy smiled and I finished up bathing her. I dried her off, carrying her to her room. I sat her on her bed, just as there was a knock in the door; "Hold on, B."

"Kay."

"Pick out your clothes."

She got up and went to her dresser while I went to the door. I opened it and saw Frank and Gerard. I let them in, "I just gave her a bath, she's getting dressed."

They followed me in and went over to the couch. I went to Busy's room where she was holding the towel around her body. It made me laugh as how grown up she looked.

"No laugh at me, mama!" Busy pouted at me.

"Okay, forgive me?" She giggled, dropping her pout, "Daddy and Frankie are here, did you pick out what you want to wear?"

"I wears shorts and piggy shirt." She showed me her shirt and shorts.

"Good choice." I told her.

I grabbed her pamper, dressed her, then went to my room to do her hair. She sat at my vanity, "Alright, what should we do with you hair?"

"Um... I don't know!" She smiled.

"I like the pigtails." I jumped at Gerard's voice from the door way.

"Jesus! You scared me!" I snapped at him.

Busy giggled, Gerard smirked at me, his hand shoved in his jeans. He walked over and sat on my bed, "My bad."

I rolled my eyes, "Pigtails, Biz?"

"Yes! Daddy like it!"

I brushed her hair, then began to do the pigtails, curling the ends with my finger. I sprayed her hair, then kissed her cheek, "There you go, love. Just go get your shoes so you can go."

"Kay!"

I crossed my arms around my middle, then looked at Gerard, "Where are you guys taking her?"

"To eat then to the park." Gerard answered me without emotion, more of a bored tone to his voice.

"What time will you have her back?"

He gave me a confused glance, "Do you wanna know what time I plan to have her pee? Jesus, cut the cord."

I rolled my eyes, "I just wanted to know--"

He cut me off, "Oh, your fuckin' boyfriend coming over?" He said with a sarcastic tone this time.

"Please, if you have a problem with me, just don't talk to me anymore. I just wanted to know when she was coming back." I muttered.

Busy came running in right when Gerard opened his mouth to retort. She jumped on on Gerard's lap, "Put my shoes on!" She told Gerard.

He smiled at her, "What's the magic word?"

"Please, daddy!" Busy answered.

I smiled at her; Gerard put her socks, then her shoes. Once they were tied, Busy came over to me, "My bag mama!"

I chuckled, "Yeah, I almost forgot."

Busy took my hand and led me back to her room. I grabbed her little bag and filled it with her wipes, pampers, her teddy bear, a bottle and her pacifier. She took it, placing it on her arm like a purse, "Daddy I ready!"

Gerard stood by the entryway of her bedroom door, he lent out his hand and Busy took it. I followed them out of the room, Frank was waiting by the front door, "Have fun, baby." I knelt down beside her and kissed her face, "I love you."

She giggled. "I love you, mama."

I smiled at Frank, "Take care of her and keep an eye on her."

Frank opened his mouth, but Gerard spoke up, "We will." He said in this hard voice.

I turned my head and rolled my eyes.