Three Cheers

Gerard got back to my house late at night; Busy had gone off to bed an hour or so before. She had cried about Gerard not coming home, and begged for me to call; I did call, but got no answer. I was honestly surprised when I heard knocking on my door.

I got up, turning on the hall light, and went to it, "Who is it?" I called over the door.

"It's me." He said in a hard voice.

I opened the door, unlocking it first, and faced him. He looked tired and gaunt, I let him in, "Hey, where have you been?"

Gerard walked in, taking his sweatshirt off. He didn't answer me, he just turned to me, and took me in his arms. I furrowed my brows, "Gerard?" I questioned him.

"You love me, right?" He asked in a determined tone.

"Of course I do." I answered without hesitation.

"Busy's mine, right?"

My brows furrowed deeper, I pushed away from Gerard, "Excuse me?" I snapped.

"Busy is my daughter, isn't she?"

I stared at him in disbelief, "What the fuck? Where did this come from?"

He shook his head, "Yes or no, October, don't dance around."

I wanted to hit him, "Of course she's your daughter! Why the fuck would you even assume shit like that?"

He just looked at me, "I... I'm not sure."

I gaped at him, "You aren't sure of what? Why you asked or if Busy is your daughter?"

Without hesitation, he answered; "If she's mine."

Again, unpredictable Gerard showed up.

"Oh my God." I muttered, "I can't... Are you seriously saying this to me?"

"I just want to know." He spoke truthfully.

"You think I cheated on you?" I snapped.

"I... I don't know..." He mumbled, "Mikey said some--"

I cut him off, "Mikey said? This isn't any of his goddamn business! Busy is your daughter, and for him to even question her paternity is beyond anything I thought he was ever capable of doing." I growled angrily.

"I just want to be sure."

My jaw slacked, "Have you seen that little girl?" I pointed to her room, then dropped my arm, "She is your fuckin' twin, she looks exactly like your dumbass."

"October, calm down." He started, "I just--"

"You just nothing! I can't believe--"

"You're blowing this out of proportion." He muttered, combing a hand through his messy hair.

"That's my daughter, of course I'm gonna blow it out of proportion. You showed up, you play daddy and now this. If she knew half of what this conversation was about, her heart would break, Gerard, and I told you, from day one, that you weren't going to break her heart."

Gerard rubbed his face, "I'm sorry..."

I coursed my own hair, that's when the ring stuck. I pulled my hand back, looked the ring over and wiggled it off my finger, "It's easy to see that you obviously aren't confident for me. You aren't ready to listen to the truth, so take your ring and leave me alone. You can always, always see our daughter, but me and you... We obviously won't work out."

He frowned, "Look, I would love Busy even if she wasn't mine, because I love you."

I stuffed the ring into his hand, "I'm glad you feel that way." 

"October, please--"

"I am not doing this, Gerard, you are. You can't be strong enough to look past the hate your brother has for me, and stand up for yourself. You can't even protect your daughter--"

"Don't fuckin' say that," He pointed a finger at me, "I do everything for her."

"Then stand up to your brother. You tell him there is no question that Busy is yours." I crossed my arms.

"I am." He muttered.

"Good." I swallowed thickly, "Me and you, we aren't going to ever rekindle whatever we had before. The only thing between us now is Busy."

Gerard stared at me, I don't think he had anything left to stay. 

I swallowed thickly, "You can stay if you want... You can crash on the couch."

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked softly.

"Not me, Busy. She'd love to see you in the morning." My tone was flat; I was upset with him.

"Yeah... She would."

I turned my heel and went to the hall closet; I grabbed the spare pillow and throw for him. Gerard didn't say a word as he took it from me and went back towards the living room. I shut the hall light off and returned to my room; I crawled beneath my blanket, angrily scolding myself.

I had the smallest feeling it wouldn't last. I was such a fool to believe him. I was an idiot to get myself caught up in old feelings. I wanted nothing more than to wish Gerard hadn't come back into my life. I'm being selfish, but I'm sure Busy would've been fine with just me, and not him.

It's only a matter of time before he hurts her.


I woke up the next morning with a heaviness on my body. I smiled, looking down at the little body holding my waist; "B." I murmured and stroked her dark hair back.

Busy didn't move an inch, so I laid back down, pulling her to my chest and wrapping my arms around her. I felt a lot of emotion then, hearing her soft breathing and feeling her warm, soft skin on mine; I love my daughter so much that words couldn't even describe it. I love her more than I would ever love Gerard, so she'll always be the only person I need. I wish I could love them both the same, but after last night, I knew Gerard wasn't as ready as I was to be tied down. It scared me that he questioned her paternity; did he truly believe that I would cheat on him?

I shook it off, I kissed Busy's head and pulled the comforter up closer to our bodies. She snuggled deeper into my arms, humming softly, "Sleep." She mumbled.

I rubbed her back and soon fell right asleep with her. 

She had woken up a mere hour later, poking my cheeks with her fingers. I smiled at her, she sat up, "Mama, I hungry."

I nodded, "What do you want to eat?"

"Uh..." She thought a moment, "Muffins!"

I smiled, "Okay, we'll make muffins. Go wake up your daddy."

Her eyes grew wide and lit up, "Daddy? Daddy here?!"

I nodded, she hurriedly jumped off the bed and ran into the hall, "Daddy!" 

I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I stretched, hearing Busy greet Gerard and told him to help make muffins. I reluctantly got up from my bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.

Once I was in the kitchen, Busy was on the counter and Gerard was leaning against it talking to her. She giggled happily, and cheered when I came in, "Mama, we no know how to make 'em." She explained.

"It's okay, I can do it."

"I add chocolate chips, 'kay?" She told me.

I nodded, "For sure, baby."

Gerard didn't look at me, he just fixated on Busy. I frowned at the thought of us not liking one another again. I didn't hate him, he just infuriated me. It feels as if he does this dumb shit on purpose. It's like he does it to bother me.

I start to hate myself for it all. I shouldn't have trusted Gerard.