Three Cheers

The pain in my body was brutal. Everything hurt. I couldn't buck up and be tough, I cried the entire time I was in the hospital. The pain was unbearable. Gerard, though, sat with me, holding my hand and kissing me. I would lay in my bed, holding myself, the pain medication barely worked. I cried, and cried and cried; I just wanted it all to stop. 

I had a unilateral oophorectomy, where the doctor removed one ovary. They said it was successful, but they wanted to keep a watchful eye on me. I would begin chemotherapy the following week; I was afraid at just the thought.

Pain, I was gonna go through more pain.

"God hates me." I told Gerard after the nurse gave me some Vicodin for the pain, "He must hate me."

Gerard had squeezed my hand, "He hates me too, but he blessed me too. He gave us an amazing little girl."

I grew teary eyed, "Yeah, she's the greatest little girl to ever grace the earth."

Gerard had brought Busy the third day I was in. She had a stack of drawings for me; Gerard had set her on my bed, "Lookie mama!"

"What did you draw me, sweetness?" I fought the pain in my hips.

"I drewed youse dressin'." She showed me a picture of a stick figure in a dress.

"Oh, my God, B! That's beautiful, baby."

"You likes it, mama?"

I nodded, "It's amazing, I love it."

She grinned, "I drawed Happy, and me. Jilly is there, see?"

I looked the picture over and nodded, "Another masterpiece."

Busy showed me all of her drawings, then she scooted up to lay beside me, "Mama, you sick?"

Her question was deeper than just a simple yes or no answer. 

I sighed and nodded, "Very sick, but I'll be better soon, love. I promise you."

She huffed, "I miss youse home! I no like sleepin' by muh-self, mama."

Tears sprung, "I'm sorry, baby. When I get home, you can sleep in my bed with me and Daddy."

Gerard smiled, "I'll sing and read to you, too."

"That fun! I can't wait." She giggled, "But chus gets better first?"

"Yep, I get better first."

"So long." She grumbled.

"It won't be too long." I kissed her cheek.

My hospital stay ended the next day, and I was home. Busy did stay in bed with me, since I was practically forced there. The surgery had taken a toll on my body. 

Busy couldn't lay on me like she used to, she did lay her head on my stomach. She had seen the patch beneath my belly button, "Mama, why that there?"

"That's where the doctors fixed me."

She touched it, then patted it, "I kiss it to make it better?"

I laughed softly, "Daddy already did, I feel better already."

She looked up at me, "You sleepy, huh?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

"I sleep with you, mama." Busy sat up and curled up beneath my arm, resting her head atop my breast.

"I love you sleeping with me, B."

Gerard had been busy making me soup. He was becoming Super Dad and Husband again, taking care of us. It was the sweetest thing.

He had brought the soup to me on a tray. I thanked him, "Gee, thank you very much."

"No problem, Sugar. All of this to ease the stress." He leaned over and kissed my lips quickly.

"I got a surprise for you, too," He smiled.

Busy grinned too, she knew what it was, "Close ya eyes!" She exclaimed, "Surprise!"

Her teeny palms pressed against my eyes, shielding the surprise. I laughed softly, "What is it?"

I heard something belong wheeled in. "Open 'em." Gerard said.

Busy dropped her hands, I looked up and saw a flat screen TV on a stand in front of my bed. Gerard came over as I gawped at it, he handed me a remote, "I bought this so you can watch movies and shit-- I mean stuff," He chuckled.

"You didn't have to." I said before he could finish.

"I wanted to. I hooked it up and everything. You got the TiVo thing to rewind or whatever. It's all there; and, October, don't worry about it, baby. I got it all for you."

I smiled, tears forming again, "Thank you, Gee. Your so sweet, baby."

He kissed me, "It's nothing."

"Now, can we watch Princess Diaries?" I giggled, "We love that movie."

Busy cheered, "Yeah!"

"I'll get the DVD." Gerard said happily.

"And get in bed with us." I added.

He laughed softly, "Will do."

Having Gerard with us made all the difference, I don't think I could have taken this all as well if I had been by myself. I would scared and fearful every second of the day. I would've worried more about taking care of my store and Busy. Thank God Gerard was there, he was what I needed. He helped so much, his presence made all the difference.


Gerard had to leave a day before I would start my chemotherapy. My dad had come over to stay with me; I was a nervous wreck about it all. I was also fighting back tears because of Gerard's leaving.

"I hate to go." He said softly; he was lying back on my bed.

I smoothed my hand over his forehead and messed with his bed head, "I don't want you to go either."

"Fuck, this sucks." He growled under his breath, "I'm gonna be gone for 12 weeks."

My stomach knotted, "I'll miss you." 

He looked up at me, "I'm gonna be worried as hell."

"My dad's here." I said.

"I still worry," He sat up and pulled himself over to me, "I love you, I don't want anything to happen while I'm away. I'm gonna miss Busy so damn much."

"She'll miss you, too." I combed my hand through his hair again.

Gerard brushed his lips against mine, "Fuck." He cursed.

"Don't worry, Gee. We'll be fine."

"It's almost like separation anxiety." He mumbled.

I wrapped my arms around him, "You can call, baby." I said softly, nuzzling my face into his neck.

"Ain't the same." He mumbled.

"It'll get better." I told him softly.

Gerard pressed his lips to my cheek, "I wish I could be here with you."

"You are... In a way." 

"I mean physically." He said, "I don't want to leave."

I kissed him, "Stop worrying."

"I can't and I won't, even if I want to." Gerard wrapped his arms loosely around me, "Just remember you ain't alone, October."

"I know I'm not. I got you, B, and my family."

Gerard sighed heavily, "I hate this shit."

"Me too." I said softly.

"You need anything, don't hesitate to call me, Sugar. I don't care if you need money or need me to come back, I'll drop all that shit for you." 

His words made me feel better. It made me feel some ease.

"I'm gonna miss you, Gee."

He kissed me again, "I'm gonna miss you, too."

Gerard had left in the afternoon, Busy had cried and immediately fallen asleep after he had gone. She had begged and pleaded for him to stay, but he promised that he'd be back. He also hoped I would be able to go see him and take Busy to Disney World; if I wasn't too sick. I was hoping I would be able too.