I'll Make a Man out of You

"Wake up, Kevin Lyman wants to see you," Avara woke up to hear Jake saying, followed by Holly muttering "Segway master," and an odd skittering noise that was probably Holly moving down the bus. The curtain of Avara's bunk was suddenly yanked open and Jake's face appeared and then retreated with a squeal.

"I didn't realise you were awake," he panted, one hand over his chest and the other still firmly gripping the curtain of Avara's bunk. Avara raised herself up off of the mattress by her elbows.

"You did not just squeal like a little girl."

Jake narrowed his eyes at her and Holly's face appeared over his shoulder.

"He did," she nodded vigorously. "Do you know what today is?" Jake gave her a sideways glance and then, apparently deciding his job was done, ducked around her and disappeared while Avara shook her head. "It's day eight, which means we have seven stickers."

Avara sat up so fast, she forgot that the bottom of Harlee's bunk was already only inches above her head. Her forehead smacked into the wood and Holly laughed at her while Avara rubbed her head.

"Gummy worms," Avara said.

"Sour gummy worms," Holly corrected. "Hurry!"

Avara swung herself out of the bunk and looked down at Holly's bare legs.

"Are you going to put pants on?"

"Oh, right," Holly said, "That's where I was going."

Five minutes later, Avara was dressed and Holly was wearing pants, and Jake was leading them to wherever Kevin Lyman was.

"Benson- I mean Jake," Holly said while Avara giggled. Jake turned around and looked at her.

"What did you just call me?" he asked suspiciously.

"Jake," Holly said, "I mean, that's your name isn't it?"

"You called me Benson," Jake told her.

"I clearly said 'Jake'," Holly replied.

"She did," Avara added.

"Who or what is 'Benson'?" Jake asked. Instead of telling him that Benson was a bossy gum ball machine from Regular Show, Holly shrugged. "Fine, what were you going to say?"

"I was going to thank you for thinking we earned seven stickers in a row."

"Are you saying you didn't earn seven stickers and that you tricked me into thinking you did?" Jake asked.

"Of course not," Holly said, "I mean: thank you for believing in us."

"Yeah," Avara agreed, "Thanks Jake."

Jake looked awkward for a few seconds and was saved from having to say anything by the appearance of Kevin and two bags of sour gummy worms.

"Morning girls, Jake," he said, nodding to them.

"Morning," chorused Holly, Avara and Jake.

"So have they been good?" Kevin asked, turning to Jake, who looked as though he was having second thoughts about giving the girls their stickers. "I... suppose so." Holly and Avara stared at him, jaws dropping. Holly recovered quickly and turned to Kevin.

"We've been angels," she said proudly. Avara was still glaring at Jake. "I mean, you haven't heard anything bad have you?" Kevin chuckled.

"No I haven't. I suppose you want your gummy worms then?"

"Sour gummy worms," Holly muttered.

"If Jake thinks you've earned them." Kevin looked at Jake again, who nodded. Kevin handed the girls the lolly bags.

"Thanks Kevin," they sung, taking the bags. They turned to run off in different directions but ended up smacking into each other and falling to the ground laughing.

"Was it really a good idea to give them lollies this early in the morning?" Jake asked Kevin as he helped Avara up.

"They're your problem now," Kevin laughed, helping Holly back to her feet.

This time, the girls managed to run off without running into each other.



After barging her way onto Mayday Parade's bus, finding Derek in the fridge, telling him she had sour gummy worms because she'd been a good girl for seven days, and then running off the bus to some unknown part of the venue, Avara opened the bag of lollies. She stood around for a few minutes and devoured about five of the worms before a familiar voice called out to her.

"I heard you have gummy worms."

Avara stashed the bag behind her back and turned around to see Curtis walking toward her.

"Who told you that?"

Curtis stood in front of her and held out his hand, pretending to examine his fingernails with an air of indifference.

"Grapevine," he shrugged, still examining his nails. "You told Derek, Derek told Alex, Alex told me."

Avara's mouth fell open, horrified that Derek would divulge such classified information in someone else, but then closed it and nodded thoughtfully, deciding it could have been worse. Derek could have told Jack Barakat.

"I see," she said.

"So, if one wished to acquire such a delicacy..." Curtis started, trailing off as he returned his hand to his side.

"One would have to get seven consecutive stickers on their sticker chart," Avara answered, spinning around and walking away. Curtis hurried after her.

"Well, you see that requires having a sticker chart, and I've got a clean record-"

"Teacher's pet."

"-so is there a, you know, alternate way of coming across some gummy worms?"

Avara stopped suddenly, causing Curtis to have to backtrack a couple of steps. Her eyes darted side to side behind her sunglasses.

"You a cop?" she asked him seriously. He shook his head and she looked around again before pulling him by the sleeve of his shirt to a small corner between two tarp-covered fences separating the public area of the venue to the backstage part. "How do I know you're not a cop?"

"Because I just told you that I'm not."

Avara eyed him.

"Do I look like a cop?" he asked, waving his hands down his sides to call attention to his attire. Avara wished he wouldn't, she thought he looked spectacularly attractive in his ripped, blue skinny jeans and red shirt.

"You could be undercover," she said simply, maybe a little too late. He didn't seem to notice.

"I'm not a cop," he insisted. Avara looked around a third time and then brought the bag out from behind her back.

"No one can know," she said as she offered him the bag.

"Not a word," he nodded, putting his hand inside the bag and extracting a blue and red gummy worm.

"Ever."

Curtis nodded. "What happens in the alcove of the barriers of Warped Tour, stays in the alcove of the barriers of Warped Tour."

"There's one more thing," Avara said. "The matter of, uh, payment."

"What are you asking for in exchange for your services?"

Avara was impressed with how he managed to keep up with her weirdness. Especially since he shared a bus with Derek, who definitely couldn't keep up with her weirdness.

Avara thought for a moment. Curtis looked cuddly. She hadn't hugged anyone in a while. Well she'd hugged Holly and Alex Gaskarth but did they really count? She really wanted a hug. Go for it, whispered a voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Holly. What was Holly doing in her head? Avara mentally shrugged in agreement with mental-Holly.

"One hug," she said dramatically. Curtis's composed expression finally broke into a grin.

"Just one?"

"One will suffice," Avara nodded, and then added, "Teacher's pet," as Curtis moved to embrace her. Avara wrapped her arms around his waist as his went around her shoulders and had to resist the urge to rest her head on his shoulder. She noticed for the first time that he wasn't very tall, probably about average height, which suited her because she wasn't very tall either.

The hug was quick, but nice, and Avara hoped she wasn't blushing when he pulled away from her. He put the head of the gummy worm in his mouth and bit it off before sticking his hand out for her to shake.

"Pleasure doing business with you," he said. Avara looked at his hand and smiled.

"Oh, that's not how we do it in the Kill Barbie world," she said, shaking her head and sticking out her fist in thumbs-up-knuckle-punch position. "In the Kill Barbie world, we thumbs-up-knuckle-punch. Just don't tell Holly."

Curtis smiled and thumbs-up-knuckle-punched her.

"Pleasure doing business with you," he repeated.

"Pleasure doing business with you," Avara nodded. "If you ever need my services again, just start a drum circle, I'll come find you."

"Okay, Pocahontas," he laughed.



"Hey Holly," Benny called down the bus. Holly paused the show she'd been watching on her computer, and stuck her head out of her bunk to see what Tadem's drum tech wanted with her.

"What?" She asked.

"Have you seen the new interview that The Maine did the other day?" She asked. Holly shook her head, so Benny motioned for her to come and watch it with her.

With a loud, audible sigh, Holly rolled out of her bunk and wandered towards the kitchenette to sit down beside Benny. Once she was seated, Benny pressed the play button.

"Hey, we're The Maine, and you're watching KitKatInterviews!" Kennedy grinned at the camera. Holly smiled as she thought about all the times her and Avara had secretly thought that Kennedy was a creepy pervert. He wasn't of course, they just liked to tell him he was... Secretly.

"Alright, hi guys, my name is Andrew," the interviewer smiled as he turned to face the guys. "Can you tell me who you all are, and your job in the band?" John cleared his throat loudly and began talking before anyone else could.

"My name is John, I sing."

"I'm Garrett, and I play bass."

"I'm Kennedy, and I play the guitar."

"I'm Pat, and I play drums."

"And I'm Jared, I also play the guitar."

"Benny, this is like every other interview the guys do," Holly whined, resting her head on her shoulder. "Why do I have to watch it? I know almost everything about them already!" Benny laughed.

"No, no," she laughed again. "They talk about you a couple of times!"

"Me?" Holly questioned suspiciously. "What do they say? I bet it was Garrett, he was mean right? I'm going to kill him. He's out of the Zombie hunter group!" Benny laughed again and shook her head.

"No, it's not Garrett... And it's not mean..."

"Oh," Holly nodded. "Okay, proceed."

In the end, Benny ended up skipping the bits that weren't about Holly so that Holly would stop complaining that she already knew almost everything that they were saying, and that the things they said that she didn't know, weren't really that interesting to her.

"Alright, so I have two fan questions for each of you. How about I start with John?"

Holly moved forward in her seat, knowing that if anyone was going to bring her up, it would be her boyfriend. She watched as each of the guys nodded their heads and as they waited for the interviewer to ask John the questions.

"So, question one is from KillTimeKings, from New York, and she has asked about who the girl or subject of the song Inside of You is," he nodded, reading from his paper. John chuckled, and scratched at his chin. "Who is the girl?"

"You know, it's weird that you ask this question," John laughed. "My girlfriend just asked me this same question the other day. The song isn't about any one girl, you know? I guess you can say it's just a song that came out sounding sensual, when really it isn't." He was lying of course. Holly knew that, and so did the guys.

"Fans have been speculating that the song was written about Holly Burming of Kill Barbie..."

"No, no!" John laughed, putting his hands up. "I didn't even know Holly when I wrote it. Like I said, it's just a play of words." Andrew nodded and looked at his file to see the next question.

"The second question for you John, is also about Holly Burming." The guys laughed and some of them even rolled their eyes. "This question was sent in from Parasix97, from London, England. She asks if you guys have any 'pet names' for each other, and your thoughts on Holly's piercings."

"This should be interesting," Holly laughed. "I've never actually asked him what he thinks..." Benny laughed.

"I call her Hol, but I don't think that's much of a nickname." The guys all nudged him then, trying to find out what nicknames Holly had given him, no doubt so that they could tease him. "She doesn't have any nicknames for me." He scratched his neck thoughtfully. "She just calls me John or whatever..."

Garrett leant forward so that he could see John past Kennedy and grinned, making Holly groan. She just knew his grin would mean trouble.

"But I heard her call you 'lover muffin' the other day..." John almost choked on his spit, making the rest of the guys start laughing.

"What?" He croaked. "She did not! She's going to fucking kill you when she sees this interview Gare!" The guys all laughed, nodding their heads along in agreement. "And about her piercings, she's got, what? Her ears done three times on each side, her gut, her lip and her tongue?" The guys all nodded except for Pat.

"She doesn't have her lip done anymore," he said, shaking his head. "Tadem told her it looked gross, so she took it out." They all rolled their eyes.

"Right, well I don't really notice any of them to be honest," John shrugged. Garrett started wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Not even her tongue? I hear that's supposed to be good for your d-"

"Shut the fuck up, Garrett." The guys all laughed as John glared at Garrett over Kennedy's shoulder.

"Well," Holly said slowly. "John deserves a gold star for sticking up for me... And Garrett will have a mangina by the end of the day." Benny started laughing. "I'm dead serious," Holly told her.

Just then, the bus door swung open and in came Avara talking animatedly about something that had apparently just happened at catering. She was soon followed by Curtis and John.

"Good afternoon lover-muffin!" Holly hollered when she saw John. Benny cracked up laughing, John cracked a smile and both Avara and Curtis gave her confused looks.

"Who the heck are you callin' a lover-muffin?" Avara asked in disgust.



"Jaaaaaaaake," Holly sang as she and Avara approached Jake at the kitchenette table later that afternoon. Jake sunk down in the seat and hid behind his laptop. "Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake."

"What?" Jake said slamming his laptop shut and looking at the girls.

"Can we have the day off tomorrow?"

"What? No, of course not."

"That's so unfair!" Holly pouted, "We've been working so hard, I think we deserve a day off."

Jake thought for a moment about reminding Holly that she'd just had two days off and that this was her job, and her dream job at that, and that she should suck it up. Instead, he said "File a request through the Human Resources guy," while he gathered up his laptop.

"Cool," Avara said, "Who's the HR guy?"

"Me," replied Jake before squirming out of his seat.

"Oh. Can we have tomorrow off then?" Avara asked. Jake stared at her.

"No!" he yelled before stalking off toward his bunk. Holly crossed her arms and turned to Avara, twisting her face in thought.

"What's the plan now then?"

Avara shrugged. "I suppose we'll go ahead with it and when Jake yells at us, we'll remind him that he could have given us the day off."

"There's one more thing we need to sort out for the plan to be successful," Holly reminded Avara, leaning closer to her so she could whisper in her ear "The matter of the, uh, ... ingredients"

Avara whipped two pieces of paper from seemingly nowhere and handed one to Holly. "You take care of that list, and I'll take care of this one. We'll meet back here at 1800 hours."

"Oh I see," Holly grinned as she scanned her list. "We ask different people to provide us with different things so no one gets suspicious. Good thinking, inspector L."

"That's Mister Inspector L to you."



"Hi Derek!"

"Oh crap," Derek sighed when he saw Avara. "I mean, Woahts app?"

"Don't lie, Derek, your fake, weird accent can't fool me," Avara replied as she took a seat across from him at the table he was sitting at under the catering tent.

"It can't?"

"No, it can't. I know 'oh crap' is short for saying 'oh crap I am so happy to see my best friend forever Avara, why doesn't she come and see me more often', you don't need to hide it, it's okay. It's perfectly healthy for best friends to love each other as much as you love me."

"Right. Can I help you with something?"

"Yes, actually," Avara replied, pulling a $10 note out of her pocket and passing it across the table. Derek eyed the money like it was venomous cobra.

"What's this for?"

"I was wondering if you'd be able to get me some cheese."

"Cheese?" Derek asked, eyeing Avara with suspicion.

"Yes. Cheese."

"What do you want cheese for?"

"Secrets."

Derek raised his eyebrows, but when Avara did not elaborate, he slid the money back towards her.

"I can't, sorry. I've got band-related stuff to do tonight."

"Well how am I supposed to get cheese?"

"Go to a shop like a normal person."

"I've got band-related stuff to do tonight."

Derek rolled his eyes.

"Well then I can't help you."

Avara scowled at him before standing up. "Fine," she said, "I'll get it myself."

With that, she turned around and stormed off.



"So, you're my boyfriend, right?" Holly asked John as he embraced her.

"Yeah." Slightly alarmed, John pulled back to examine Holly's face.

"Which means we do things for each other, right?"

"Hol, what's wrong, I can-"

"I need some spring onions."

"Um..." John's alarm subsided and confusion took over. "Why do you need spring onions?"

"For Harlee's birthday."

"You're giving Harlee spring onions for her birthday?" John asked.

"Kind of. Can't explain right now. But is there any chance you can get me some spring onions?"

"Not really," John said, scratching the back of his head, "Sorry Hol."

"Bummer."



"Wassup Wassup, Dave," Avara grinned when Dave Strauchman finally realised she'd been ghosting him for ten minutes.

"Hey Avara."

"Are you leaving the venue at some point between now and... say... soon?"

"No, why?"

"Dammit," Avara cursed, "I need some sour cream."

"O...kay," Dave said, cautiously backing away because it sounded like suspiciously like a prank. "I'll see you later." Avara opened her mouth to respond, but Dave took off running.



Holly stood before Curtis in Mayday Parade's merch tent, looked at him, looked at the list in her hands, looked at him again, then back to the list, then back to him again.

"Rebecca, why are you on my list?"

"What?" Curtis asked, puzzled because even though she was looking at him, he wasn't quite sure she was talking to him.

"My list. You're on it?"

"What?" Curtis asked. He was absolutely sure she was talking to him now. He ignored the fact that she'd called him 'Rebecca', but was still confused.

"You are on my list."

"Speak slower, and clearer, and about something of which I have prior knowledge," Curtis instructed.

"Avara gave me a list of people to ask to get us ingredients for Harlee's birthday present and because my boyfriend was on my list, I would have thought you would be on her list, but you're on mine."

"Why should I be on her list? I'm not her boyfriend."

"And in that moment, I realised I had divulged too much," Holly whispered to herself.

"What?" Curtis asked a third time.

"Can you buy me some diced bacon?" Curtis looked around the tent and then back at Holly, though he looked half distracted now.

"I'm kind of busy."

"Doing what?" Holly asked.

"Working." Right on cue, a fan approached the tent. Curtis turned around, still looking slightly dazed, and walked over to serve her. Holly sighed and made her way back to the bus.



"What are you doing back so early?" Avara asked when Holly opened the bus door and saw her in the kitchen.

"What are you doing back so early?"

Avara sighed. "No one would help me."

"Same," Holly said, sitting at the table and resting her chin on her hands. "So what do we do now?"

"Who do we know that loves us that has the freedom and time to leave the venue and buy us stuff," Avara asked thoughtfully.

"Who's probably forgotten about Harlee's birthday." Something in Holly's tone made Avara look at her and see the triumphant glint in her eye. Then she caught on. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking what I'm thinking B1?"

"I think I am B2."



"TRAVIS!" The girls yelled as they ducked into their merch tent.

"HOVARA!"

"So, you know it's Harlee's birthday tomorrow, right?" Avara asked, sauntering up to Travis with a smug look on her face because she knew Travis would have forgotten.

"Oh shit."

Avara turned around to thumbs-up-knuckle-punch Holly.

"Why are you thumbs-up-knuckle-punching? I completely forgot and I haven't gotten her anything and she's going to be so upset! What am I going to do?"

Holly and Avara exchanged satisfied grins.