I'll Make a Man out of You

Avara was standing on stage, almost paralyzed with silent laughter as she watched Holly having a coughing fit right after they had finished the first song of their set.

"I'm sorry-," she managed to laugh into her microphone, "-I don't- I don't know why- I find- I find this so funny." Holly, still spluttering around, managed to shoot her a venomous look. Avara walked over to her and started to pat her back. "I think someone should take you to the hospital.

Somewhere in the crowd, someone yelled out "I VOLUNTEER!" like Katniss Everdeen. Avara started laughing all over again and couldn't speak anymore, so Harlee awkwardly stepped up to her own microphone.

"Should we.. should we start another song?" she said unsurely. Holly glared at her, too, while Avara bent over, laughing even harder. Travis came running over with a bottle of water for Holly and took over patting her on the back while Avara laughed herself back over to her microphone.

Holly forced down some water and stopped coughing long enough to say "I think I swallowed a fly," in a raspy voice. Avara was almost on the floor.

"I- I can't breathe," she wheezed, "Travis, give me some of that water."

Travis ditched the bottle at Avara's head, but missed and it knocked over her microphone and rolled off the stage. Avara burst out into more laughter and picked up the microphone stand.

"You're- you're going to have- going to have to swallow a- a sp- a spider," she laughed when the microphone was upright, 'to- to catch the fly! Oh my God, I'm crying!"

"I hope the whole population of penguins in the world dies of Global Warming," Holly said to Avara. Avara stopped laughing and stared at Holly with a horrified expression.

"I hope the whole population of sea turtles in the world drowns!" Avara shot back.

"Turtles can't drown," muttered Harlee, who was frowning.

"Let's have another song shall we?" Travis said into Holly's microphone while Avara and Holly glared at each other across the stage. "Yay, Kill Barbie," he added weakly, starting to clap. He then ran off stage to let the band continue their set, in which Holly sung new lyrics every now and then which involved the harm of penguins. Avara did the same thing in the back up, but about sea turtles.



Later that afternoon, Avara was sitting at the signing table with a penguin beanie-type thing on her head while Holly, who was sitting next to her, had a turtle pillow-pet tied around her head.

"Because turtles are everything I ask for, everything I ask for, and so much more," Holly was singing as she signed a t-shirt for a fan. She and Avara were continuing the not-so-subtle alterations to songs, except they had run out of Kill Barbie songs and had to move on to others.

"Whoever she is, whoever she may be, one thing's for sure, she probably loves penguins," Avara sung. Holly turned to her.

"You can't do that!"

"Do what?" Avara asked innocently.

"Sing The Maine songs! John is my boyfriend, why don't you sing Mayday Parade songs or something?"

"I can live without turtles but without penguins I'll be miserable at best," Avara sung. The girl who's CD she was signing hi-fived her.

"So follow the line and turtles will be your guide," Holly sung.

"We were just penguins in love-"

"Let turtles back into your ah-ah-ah-arms-"

"I had a dream last night we went to see lots of penguins-"

"What can you do with a turtle like that? Taking everything, giving nothing back-"

"I got my mind set on penguins, there's nothing you can do to change my mind about them-"

"So go get your shovel and we'll dig a deep hole bury the penguins, bury the penguins!" Holly sung. Avara turned to her.

"Shit just got real," she said, before singing "I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world from turning into a turtle, eating us alive-"

"Penguins are fake, turtles are great, nothing personal," Holly sung, receiving a grin and a fist pump from two fans.

"That was great," one of them said. Avara glared at Holly.

"I knew the penguin in you would play the lead," Avara sung.

"I'd cross the whole world for a turtle like you,' Holly countered.

"Turtles freak me out."

"Penguins are nothing but bad news."

"You can't sing the same song as me, cheater!" Avara yelled at Holly.

"I need a turtle, not a penguin with a complex," was Holly's response.

"Don't hold your breath, I'm not losing sleep over turtles."

"Penguins, just look at the mess you made."

"Take off your turtle," Avara sung, reaching up to Holly's head and ripping the turtle pillow-pet from it, "who are you wearing it for," she finished singing, and then said "Check and mate."

Holly glared at Avara and quickly signed a ticket stub for the last fan before standing up and pointing at Avara.

"I hate to break it to you but, you're just a lonely penguin," she sang before bopping her on the head, snatching her turtle pillow pet back and dashing from the tent yelling, "this is not the end, Law!"

"This is why you guys are my favourite band," a fan laughed as she watched Avara shake her fist in the direction Holly had gone.



"Hey Holly. Where's the fire?" A familiar voice called out as she ran down merch ave towards All time Lows bus. She got distracted, tripped on her footing and slammed face first into the floor. "holy shit, are you okay?!" It was Travis Clark, from We The Kings.

"Travis!" She yelled, pushing herself up. "You broke my face!"

"I know, I am so sorry!"

Holly dusted the dirt from her legs before she actually looked at him. He seemed tired. Too tired for it to be the first couple of Warped shows. With a frown, Holly stepped over to him and held the back of her hand to his forehead.

"You okay Trav?" She asked. "You seem sick." Travis shrugged his shoulders and tried to avoid eye contact. "Spill ginger man."

"Tadem and I are having... Troubles," he sighed. "Sash is here doing Merch work for the band and Tadem doesn't trust me with her. She says that having my ex girlfriend on a tour like Warped would be catastrophic for the relationship. Especially seeing as Sash is sharing a bus with us."

"I love Sasha!" Holly grinned. Travis gave her a look to which she stopped smiling. "I mean, shouldn't Tadem know that you guys were over ages ago? Even I know that you and Sash are just good friends now. You love Tadem."

"I know I do," Travis agreed. "But Tadem wont listen to anything I say. She thinks I'm going to just go off with Sash."

"Well," Holly started slowly. "You and Sasha were together for a very, very long time. You had your run and it didn't work out and now you guys are remaining friends. Which is a great thing, and Tadem needs to see that."

"She wont listen," Travis said again.

"Take her out and show her that she is you're one and only, maybe she'll get the hint after that?"

Avara Law.
I'm in the business of penguins, let's take it from the top.

"I think I'll go talk to her now," Travis sighed. "She at your bus?" Holly shrugged and let out a laugh. "What?"

"Avara sent me a funny message," she explained. "As for Tadem, just take her out and explain that Sasha is only here to do a job and that has nothing to do with you what-so-ever. Okay?" Travis sighed and nodded his head.

"Okay. Wish me luck."

"Good luck!"

Holly watched as Travis went in the direction of Kill Barbies bus before she changed direction and went towards catering. She had a ticket in her pocket that she'd gotten from Avara's catering ticket pile that morning, and she was intending on getting herself a Caesar salad.



"Hey Derek!" Holly heard Avara exclaim as soon as she walked through the catering tent flaps. "I was just looking for you!" She heard Derek sigh and laughed when she came around the corner and found Derek holding his head in his hands.

"Hi Derek!" She called, adding to Derek's annoyance. "What're you doing Derek?"

"How have you been Derek?"

"Where have you been Derek?"

"Oh, my god," he muttered to himself. "I've successfully dodged you both for the last couple of days. How did you both manage to find me at the same time?!"

"Impeccable timing dear Derek," Avara grinned.

"Didn't you miss us Derek?" Holly asked.

"Oh my!" Avara said in excitement. "I have the greatest idea!"

"And what's that?" Derek asked, not looking up from his hands.

"You have a baby right?" Avara questioned. Derek's head shot up as he stared wide-eyed at her.

"Nope," he shook his head.

"He's lying," Holly nodded.

"Anyway," Avara said, ignoring both Derek and Holly. "I was thinking that Holly and I could babysit her for you and the lady."

"No."

"Why not?" Holly asked, offended.

"Because you're both crazy," he replied.

"We babysat Holly's cousins once," Avara spoke up.

"Yeah, and you probably made them delusional like the both of you."

"I take offence!" They both said at the same time, then laughed because they had both said something at the same time. Derek rolled his eyes and stood up.

"Where are you going Derek?"

"Can we come too Derek?"

"No, leave me alone," he told them, leaving them staring open mouthed at his back as he left.

"You know," Holly said to Avara. "That boy needs to have a nice smack in the head. He's so mean to us all the time."

"All the time," Avara nodded.

"I think I'm going to go and see John," Holly said thoughtfully, tapping her chin.

"Okay," said Avara. Holly suddenly threw her hands in the air in dramatic, but fake, exasperation.

"Oh my God, Avara!" she yelled. "You're so controlling. You never let me see my boyfriend-"

"I said okay."

"-and he always misses me because we never get to spend time together-"

"I said okay," Avara repeated, laughing.

"-You know what! You know what, Avara? I'm going to go and see him anyway."

"Okay."

Holly spun around and walked away from Avara before stopping suddenly and turning back around.

"Wait, John's bus is this way," she said, walking back towards Avara. "Stop trying to hinder me, Avara."

Avara laughed again and watched Holly disappear into the sunlight outside and followed, deciding to go to the merch tent and steal some wrist bands while pretending to visit Travis. When she got there, she saw him chatting with Curtis. She entered the tent and yelled Travis's name and he spun around.

"What?" he yelled back.

"What have I told you about letting strangers into the merch tent!" Avara yelled, hands on her hips.

"Um, nothing," Travis said, "but he's not a stranger, it's just Curtis."

"I don't care if his name is Curtis, or Richard, or Rajesh or Reece-"

"Chill," Travis said, "He isn't a fan or anything, he works here."

"Yeah, I don't even like your band," Curtis said. Avara's mouth fell open and her shoulders dropped and, noticing how offended Avara was, Curtis laughed. "I'm kidding, see?" he said, holding out both of his arms that had about five Kill Barbie wrist bands them it among about twenty others from various other bands. Avara turned back to Travis.

"How come he gets free wrist bands and I don't?"

Travis sighed and stood up, speaking as he walked over to the table where the wrist bands were. "One, how do you know I gave them to him for free, and two, you don't have any because you never asked for any. You need to stop having made up conversations with me in your head," he added, turning around and tossing some of the wrist bands at Avara, who was now sitting in his chair.

"Just because they're made up conversations, doesn't mean they happen in my head, Travis. I'm not crazy." She heard Curtis snigger and looked over at him. She realised she hadn't introduced herself to him, and didn't want to seem rude. "I'm Avara, by the way."

"I know," he said, "I'm a fan remember."

"Thank you," she said unsurely. Was it normal to thank someone for being a fan of your band, or was there something else you were supposed to say? What did she say to fans when they said they liked her band? She couldn't remember...

"You're welcome," Curtis smiled. Avara was relieved that he didn't seem put off by her 'thank you'.

"I thought you two'd met before," Travis frowned. Both Avara and Curtis shook their heads. "Weird..."

"Why would we have?' Avara asked.

"Because he was always here last year," Travis said, as though it was obvious.

"You were here last year?" Avara asked. Curtis nodded.

"I sell merch for Mayday Parade."

"I don't remember seeing you," Avara said.

"I thought we'd just established that," Travis said.

"Shut up, you," Avara said to him. "Why aren't you selling merch." Travis looked around the front of the tent, where there was no one currently waiting to buy anything.

"I got so overwhelmed by the insanely large number of customers I needed a break," he said sarcastically.

"Why don't we have any customers?" Avara asked.

"Because a lot of people already have Kill Barbie stuff from last year," Curtis said.

"We need new stuff," Travis nodded in agreement. "Jake was going to get around to having someone design more shirts."

"How come no one's discussed this the with the band?" Avara asked. Travis shrugged.

"Jake thinks all Harlee's suggestions would involve food, Tadem's not really interested and yours and Holly's ideas would have something like penguins and turtles," he explained.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," said Curtis.

"Isn't it?" Travis asked. Curtis chuckled.

"Did you see their set today?" he then turned to Avara and said, "I think one of the really good things about you guys, particularly you and Holly, is that you have such strong personalities that really come across when you interact with your fans. There's probably a lot of simple things you could put on a t-shirt that will have fans point and say 'That's so Kill Barbie'."

Avara beamed at him while Travis said, "What's that got to do with today's set?"

"They basically started a Penguin vs Turtle war. Put that on a t-shirt and it'll sell like hot cakes."

"That, Remus, is a spectacular idea." Holly had just appeared and sat down on Avara.

"I thought you went to see John?" Avara asked her.

"He had his boyfriend over," Holly said.

"Who's his boyfriend?" asked Travis.

"Some girl named Mabel," Holly shrugged.

"I thought your name was Mabel, Holly?" Avara asked.

"Only on Tuesdays."

"But today is Tuesday."

"No, Avara, today is Wednesday, get a calendar."

"Actually, today is Thursday," said Travis and Curtis at the same time. Holly stared from one to the other.

"Whoa," she whispered, "They're like us."

"It was Eric of Halverson, wasn't it?" Avara said, referring to their previous conversation.

"Of course Mable is Eric of Halverson," Holly laughed. "Who else would it be?"

"I dunno," Avara replied. "He's been pretty chummy with Gayscarf lately."

"Ew," Holly laughed.

"Ew indeed Burming. Ew indeed."

The two girls and two guys sat back and stared at all the people walking past the tent silently. Holly watched as a guy with a burrito tripped and dropped his delicious goodness on the floor.

"Aw, man," she said sadly. "That's such a waste of burrito."

"What?" Avara asked, giving Holly a weird look.

"That guy dropped his burrito." Avara frowned.

"Aw, that's really said," she said.

"The next tour date is in Arizona..." Holly said suddenly. Avara frowned and turned to look at her best friend. "John's from Arizona..."

"So?"

"He wants me to meet his parents."

"Oh," Avara nodded. "Right. Isn't it about time you did though?" She asked. "I mean, he's met your parents like three times."

"Yeah, but those are my parents," Holly replied. "These are his."

"What's your problem then?"

"I have no idea what to say or do..."

"The worst you could do is become really clumsy and awkward."

"It's gonna happen!" Holly exclaimed. "And then John will be embarrassed and pretend it was all a joke and run away and I'll never ever see him again ever."

"Wow, bit dramatic," Avara chuckled.

"Vara!"

"Well I don't know what you want me to do about it."

"Tell John I'm sick and can't come out."

"Then his parents will think you hate them," Avara pointed out. "And then they'll tell John to get someone who doesn't hate them."

"I don't hate them," Holly corrected. "I'm just freaking petrified of them. Big difference."

"You're completely mental."

"You're both completely mental," Travis corrected them.