I'll Make a Man out of You

The bands had a couple of days show-free before the next show owing to travel time, but Jake by no means let Kill Barbie have a day off. It seemed he had been waiting for some time to have an apparently much needed band meeting, which he held around kitchenette table. As the twelve of them had trouble fitting around the table, Jake told the four techs that they probably wouldn't be discussing anything worth them hearing and allowed them to do whatever they wanted, promising to relay anything important later on. This left Jake, Holly, Avara, Harlee, Tadem, Travis, Vanesse and Danny all squeezed around a box of doughnuts that Jake had placed on the table. Before Jake could open his mouth to say anything, Harlee raised her hand.

"I have a really important question to ask before the meeting starts," she said.

"What is it, Harlee?" Jake asked her. Harlee pointed at the box of doughnuts.

"Can I please have a doughnut?"

Jake rolled his eyes and nodded, and everyone reached forward to grab a doughnut. Jake opened his mouth to speak, but this time it was Avara who cut him off.

"I also have something of importance to discuss before we begin," she said, pulling something from behind her back. Holly muttered a small 'ah' and did the same. They laid their sticker charts out in front of them and looked up at Jake with puppy dog eyes. "You haven't given us any stickers yet, Jake."

"Yeah," Holly agreed, "It's not like we've been bad either."

Jake looked from Avara to Holly and back again before sighing, getting up and walking away towards one of the draws in the kitchen. He pulled something out and sat back down, pulling the sheet of star-shaped stickers from its packaging. He peeled off a green star and leaned forwards to put it on one of the squares on Holly's chart, but she pulled it away quickly.

"Ew," she said, "I don't want a green one. Can I have a red one?"

Jake sighed, again, and placed the green star on Avara's chart instead, who did not complain. He then peeled off a red star and put it on Holly's.

"Can I have a pink one now," Avara asked, "I want my chart to look like a watermelon."

Jake obliged, and after a few more requests Holly and Avara each had three stickers each on their charts, representing the three days that had passed since receiving their charts in which they had supposedly displayed good behaviour.

"Four more days and we get SOUR GUMMY WORMS!" Holly said, thumbs-up-knuckle-punching Avara.

"Yeah-ya," Avara grinned.

"Now," Jake said, a little more loudly than was necessary, hoping to dissuade them all from making any more interruptions. "The first thing I want to talk about is merch-"

"Yes, yes, we have nothing new to sell, yadda yadda," Holly said, waving her hand around in a bored fashion. Jake sent her an irritated glance but otherwise acted as though she had not spoken.

"We've had some Kill Barbie wrist bands manufactured which Travis and Danny are now selling at the tent, but as they're like two bucks a pop, we aren't going to generate much income off of them."

"Raymond had an idea yesterday," Holly said.

"Who is Raymond?" Jake asked.

"Are you talking about Curtis? Or do you just talk about our merch with everyone?" Travis asked.

"Curtis... Curtis," Holly frowned, tapping her chin as though she was trying to remember where she had heard the name. "He the one who looks like a turtle?"

"He does not look like a turtle," Avara said crossly.

"Chill," Holly said, "turtles are kick-ass."

"Not as kick-ass as penguins,' Avara shot back.

"Not this again," Jake muttered, putting his head in his hands.

"Actually, that was Curtis's idea," Travis told Jake while Holly and Avara continued to argue. When Jake looked at him as though he had grown four extra arms out of his nostrils, Travis quickly explained the conversation that had occurred the previous day at Kill Barbie's merch tent.

"You think people are going to buy our stuff if we write 'Team Turtle' and 'Team Penguin' all over it?" Jake asked skeptically.

"Well, yeah," Travis said. "The fans that follow the band on a personal level will, anyway."

"You mean Holly and Avara," Tadem snapped. Everyone looked at her blankly.

"What?" Jake asked.

"People who follow Holly and Avara on a personal level will buy that junk." Everyone continued to stare at her, unsure of what she was getting at. "Then again, I s'pose that's right isn't it? Everything's always about them anyway." Avara looked horrified and Holly looked hurt. Everyone else just looked confused.

"Tadem, I don't- I didn't mean-," Travis spluttered, "Obviously, we're going to design other stuff as well." Tadem didn't reply and nobody spoke for several long moments. Then Jake cleared his throat.

"Okay, uh, well I'll organise a time we can talk about this in more depth," he said. "Moving on."

Jake started talking very fast due to the tension that was now settling around the table. He seemed to want to get this over and done with as soon as possible, so instead of talking about the things he wanted to talk about, he ended up planning more meetings for other people to talk about it. He told Holly that she was to get together with Vanesse and organise her diet. Holly looked reproachful but Vanesse smiled at her reassuringly.

He also asked if the girls had any interest of getting into the studio to record a follow up album any time soon. Holly told him she'd been writing, but was nowhere near being ready to record anything yet. After all, their first album had only been out for a few months.

"Well, there is that one song," she mused, "and that other one."

"Go on," Jake urged.

"Well, I've written one that I've been thinking about singing on stage," after a quick apprehensive glance at Tadem, she added "After I show you guys, of course. If you like it..." she trailed off. She didn't want it to come across as though, even though she wrote the songs, she alone chose which ones they performed.

"And that other one?" Jake asked, repeating Holly's earlier words.

"Oh, well Avara and I started writing one which I think will be pretty cool."

"Oooh," Harlee said excitedly, "Will you show them to us? I love new songs."

"No," Avara said sarcastically. Holly looked at her in surprise to see that she was eyeing Tadem with the same dislike that had caused Holly to back up her earlier words. Clearly, she didn't like Tadem saying they were the centre of attention more than Holly did. "Even though you're part of our band, we're not going to show you the songs that we've written."

"Enough," Jake said forcefully. He, too, was eyeing Tadem, and had clearly stopped her from saying something nasty to Avara. "I think we're done." Without another word, he got up from the table and walked away. Tadem followed and went straight to her bunk. Holly was patting Harlee on the back, who looked like she was on the verge of tears. Vanesse, Travis and Danny all looked at Avara for an explanation, but she merely shrugged.

Slowly, Vanesse, Travis and Danny filed out from around the table and went off either to their bunks or to the lounge.

"What's wrong with Tadem?" Harlee asked softly. Avara shrugged.

"Don't worry about it, Harls, I think she's having relationship troubles," Holly said, remembering the conversation she had with Travis Clark the day before. "You know, on top of everything else."

"Why don't we all snuggle in someone's bunk. Holly and I still have to watch those seasons of that show that that fan gave us the other day."

Harlee and Holly responded to Avara with a nod and she went to retrieve the dvd while the other two made themselves comfortable in Jake's bunk and set up Holly's laptop.

"Why Jake's bunk?" Avara asked when she had crawled in with them, handed Holly the dvd, and slid the curtain shut.

"Why not?" Holly said simply with a shrug.

The show was better than they had expected. Way better.

It featured a blue bird named Mordecai and a raccoon named Rigby who were employed as groundskeepers at a park, though they hardly ever seemed to be working. Holly and Avara were hooked by the first episode, in which Rigby had stolen a magic keyboard from a wizard while he was peeing in a bush. He let Mordecai name the keyboard The Power, because he had always wanted to date a girl named The Power, after the two had made a hole in the wall of their bedroom while wrestling a doll and Rigby proclaimed that it would solve their problem.

Using The Power, Mordecai and Rigby made up a synchronised dance that they were planning on using to ask their boss, a walking gumball machine named Benson, for a raise so they would have enough money to fix the hole in the wall. First, they tested it out on quirky, elderly, lollipop-shaped Pops, who paid them in lollipops, making Harlee giggle and clap, much resembling the character on the screen.

When Mordecai and Rigby successfully got $20 each out of Benson, they realised they could use the The Power to get whatever they wanted, resulting in them accidentally sending Skips, another worker who looks like a Yeti and skips everywhere, to the moon and having to get him back



"Jake?"

"Yes Holly?"

"Can Harlee, Avara and I make nachos?" Jake gave Holly a look that told her that they would definitely would not be able to make nachos. "I mean, we'll clean up our mess and everything..."

"No."

"We'll even make you some if you would like," she said, ignoring him. "Maybe it'll shut Tadem up a bit too."

"Tadem's going through a rough time right no-"

"I mean, I know nothing will calm her down or anything, but maybe nachos will just make everyone on the bus feel a whole bunch better."

"Holly, I really don't think that nachos will make anyone fee-"

"Yeah, you're right Jake. Maybe I should just make myself a sandwich and stop worrying about it," Holly nodded thoughtfully. "Thanks for the talk Jake."

Jake watched in confusion and alarm as Holly wondered back towards the bunk area and crawled back into his bunk.

"Hey!" He yelled. "Get out of my bunk!"



By the time the bus got to Camelback Ranch in Glendale, Arizona, the girls were more than ready to lock Tadem in a cupboard with no air holes. She'd told Holly off numerous times for being nervous of meeting the O'Callaghan family. She'd told Avara off just as many times for talking about Curtis and she had told Harlee off for being such a baby. Even Jake was ready to throttle her.

"Land!" Avara exclaimed, falling from the bottom step of the bus, face first on to the grass outside. "Oh how I love you!"

"Air!" Holly exclaimed just as loudly. "I can't believe we're inhaling real-life fresh air!"

"You guys need to grow up," Tadem muttered, stalking past them and going off in a random direction.

"That girl needs to get laid," Benny said matter-of-factly, stepping past Holly and Avara who were still laying on the ground glaring at Tadem's back. "And soon."

"Guys, get off the floor," Jake groaned, coming out of the bus after Emmy and Jay. "We're going to catering. Coming?"

"Catering?" Holly asked, scrambling to her feet.

"Your shout Jake?" Avara asked. Jake rolled his eyes and held up an envelope filled with catering ticket stubs. Avara nodded and began to walk along happily behind the group before stopping and glaring at Holly. "you," she said.

"What?" Holly asked. eyes wide. The group stopped walking and turned to stare at the two.

"You can't come with us."

"What? Why?"

"You're going with John," Avara replied. Holly frowned and tried to shake her head. "Nope. You have to go. Look, there's John now."

"If you make me go, I'll tell Ricky you like him." Avara gasped.

'You will not!"

"I will too!"

"If you don't go I'll- Oh, hey John!" Avara grinned as John came to a stop beside Holly and kissed her forehead. "Holly was just telling me how excited she is to meet your family!"

"You were?" He beamed. "They're real excited to meet you too!"

"Alright, I'll just leave you guys to it!" Avara nodded. "See ya tomorrow Holly, love you!" Avara was gone before Holly could say a single word.

"So..." Holly murmured. "Shall we?"



When everyone except for Holly made it to catering, Avara literally walked straight into Jack Barakat, who grabbed her by the shoulders and stared at her intently. She was expecting him to ask her if she was okay, but he said something completely different.

"I thought you were a potato."

Avara couldn't even pretend to be insulted that he hadn't asked her if she was okay. She burst out laughing.

"What?"

"I just really want potato bake right now," he said.

"Holly makes good potato bake." Jack looked around and then back at Avara.

"Well, Holly isn't here, is she?" he said. "Wait, where is Holly?"

"She died," Avara said, "Also, she left the band."

"When did this happen?" Jack asked.

"About twenty minutes ago."

"Which happened first?" Jack asked, narrowing his eyes as though trying to call her out in a lie.

"She died first. Then she left the band," Avara said confidently, "Actually, we sort of kicked her out."

"Why would you do that?" Jack asked.

"Because she died."

"Who's going to sing for you now then?"

"Derek."

"But he sings for Mayday Parade," Jack said.

"Good point," nodded Avara. She quickly looked around and spotted Derek sitting at a table with the rest of his band. She called his name much more loudly than was necessary.

"What?" he called back, looking irritated.

"WILL YOU SING IN OUR BAND?"

"Why, what's wrong with Holly?"

"SHE DIED!" Jack yelled to Derek, "ALSO SHE LEFT THE BAND!"

"SHE GOT KICKED OUT OF THE BAND!" Avara corrected.

"SHE GOT KICKED OUT OF THE BAND!" Jack yelled to Derek. Avara heard people muttering around her, asking if something had happened to Holly.

"WELL SHE'S NOT DEAD YET, BUT SHE'S GONE TO MEET JOHN'S PARENTS AND THAT'S KIND OF THE SAME THING!"

Suddenly, a hand closed around Avara's mouth and a voice was whispering in her ear.

"Dinocroc vs Supergator. My bus. Now." Avara spun around.

"Please, Garrett, I've already seen it, it's lame."

"Dinocroc vs Supergator is NOT lame," Garrett told her.

"Everything you say is not lame is, in actual fact, lame," Avara said, crossing her arms over her chest to imply that the argument was over.

"Not," Garrett said.

"Remember that movie you told Holly and I to watch that had a shark vs zombie scene it it? Lame."

"It's not lame, it's like the best movie ever!"

"Lame. Now go away," she said, pushing Garrett away, "I'm trying to have a serious discussion with Derek."

"Derek's gone," Garrett laughed. "Also, so is Jack."

"That butt-donkey," Avara muttered, and left Garrett to find Derek.