Burning the Rulebook on Romance

I returned home to a now empty apartment as Eve had departed on her date quest. My stomach was shaky after the encounter with Mr Money but I tried to ignore my body’s juvenile reaction and set about making tagliatelle carbonara. The meal was simple enough, too simple to distract my mind from wandering to the farthest planes of possibility; notions of Bryan convincing Max to speak to me, or Bryan trying to make me speak to Max. What if we were to meet and it was set up, him bringing my first heart stomping ex boyfriend with him.
I tried to get it off my mind by picking out one of my favourite films and a bottle of wine. I was enjoying the movie but Max and Bryan wormed their way to the front of my mind nonetheless. Finally I broke. Texting Bryan I said ‘Let me just be clear on one thing- I don’t want to see or hear about Max so do not involve him if and when we do start hanging out again.’
Except I couldn’t bring myself to send it. It wasn’t as if uncertainty bit me, no. I knew for a fact I didn’t want or need Max back in my life by any means. I just felt bad on Bryan. He was going to be in the middle if Max had an alternative take on this to me. There was only one other person who could understand this. Well, if he saw past his own blind hatred and issues with those guys.
The line rang for what seemed forever and I was just about to hang up when it was answered.

“Hello?” came the distant and aerated voice of my old friend.

“You busy or got a minute, Radke?” I asked, pausing my film now that I had some attention.

“Well if you count getting laid as busy,” that was an eye rolling reply for sure.

“Laid? Right ok,” I rolled my own eyes.

“Like that’s so unbelievable, Dee I-“

“Yeah, yeah studmeister I know you’re hot stuff and oh-so desirable. Look I…I sort’a need your advice,” I cut him off with amusement at first but the seriousness of my phone call’s motive came into play.

“Oh yeah? On what?” Ronnie replied, sounding sincere himself now.

“Just forget the past couple years and think to like good times when we were all happy and shit,” I paused hoping the next sentence would form correctly first time around. “ I saw Bryan today. He seemed sincere as ever about missing me and wants to meet up. I’m scared that the ultimate cunt bag we know as Max Green will get involved or sabotage this somehow. So I don’t know whether to tell Bry’ this or ignore him totally or just not worry, “I explained. “What, if anything, do you have to say?”

The line was quiet. I was surprised he’d not launched into a bitch-fest rant., then wondered if he’d listened at all and just put the phone on the side.

“Ronnie?” I grumbled.

“I’m here, I’m just thinking,” he replied. “I guess if you’re gonna be involved with any of them you should know this; I didn’t want you to know at the time because you would have been stupid and taken him back in a heart beat but…” he sighed, “it took a couple of days before Max realised how he’d ruined everything by leaving you. He wanted you back but we convinced him there was no point trying because you wouldn’t take him back. What he did was nothing less than wrong, plain wrong. I didn’t want to incite potential for him to hurt you again and that’s why we did what we did.” Ronnie divulged the huge secret so easily.
I wasn’t sure how to take it.

I knew instantly that he was right – I would have taken Max back no question. Was it wrong of our friends to take that decision away from me? I went through hell but now I’m out the other end and proud of whom I’ve become. What’s done is done, no backsies.

“Right now, who knows, Max could try and get you back, he could ignore you, he could sabotage any plans you and Bryan make. I don’t know the guy anymore. Personally I think you’re better off without him, he’s become the biggest sack of shit I’ve ever known,” Ronnie continued boldly.

“Thanks man, “ I sighed, worn down by this already.

“On a lighter note; find time to visit us on the road,” his tone took on a more upbeat one.

“I’ll try to,” I nodded to myself, “Hey you get back to gettin’ laid or whatever you think you were doing. Text me what days are good to come see ya and yeah…catch you then,” I scoffed a little.

“Ok cool. You gonna be ok?” he smirked.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Say hi to the guys for me.”

“Bye, Dee. Take care.”

“You too.” I smiled and we hung up.

**

A couple days later Ronnie and I set a date to hang out in Nebraska, I’d set up some extra classes in order to save up for a new motorcycle and also spoken to Bryan. We were due to meet that night and it wasn’t until fifteen minutes prior that I even remembered.

“Oh fuck, I gotta go!” I dismounted from a Scorpio and rushed across to my bag after spotting the clock mounted upon the wall.
“What’s the rush?” Eva asked while still trying to beat her personal record on how long she can hold the Superman position (just because she’s a weirdo).

“Gotta get to GC in fifteen. I’ll see you tomorrow, or later. Shouldn’t be back too late,” I announced, retouching my makeup and pulling a pair of jeans over my shorts before jumping into my black and silver cowboy boots.

“Have fun, babe, catch ya!” Eve replied, maintaining her position.

I drove home in ten minutes and sprinted to the bar in five. It might be lame but lateness is a pet peeve of mine. Glancing around the room I couldn’t see Bryan but noticed it was nine PM and I was on time so breathed a sigh of relief and ordered a drink.

“Hey,” Bryan came up on my left as I paid for my drink, “Been here long?”

“Nah. How’re you?” I queried and hugged him.

“I’m good thanks. You? You smell busy,” he grinned.

I grimaced in return and not so discreetly sniffed myself.

“Kidding!” Bryan laughed.

“Ass, “ I smirked and shook my head, “only just left the studio, give me a break.”

“Studio?” he rose a brow and ordered a drink.

“We have much to discuss, good sir.”

He nodded and we soon took up seats.

The evening went well, we got to fill each other in on everything; careers, relationships, family stuff, future plans. His relationship status was unclear to everyone it would seem so I rolled my eyes and gave my best ‘sort that bitch out,’ advice. Then it got to Ronnie.

“Have you guys spoken civilly since he got out?” I sipped my beverage.

“Once or twice but we keep our distance. He’s not who he used to be,” Bryan shrugged.

“Since before or after the drugs?” I rose my brows, “Life experiences change a person and he’s had radical ones. I might be in disbelief about some of the stunts he’s pulled online, mainly aimed at your Craig but I know him too well. Dumb as it is, there’s no dissuading him from it. Besides its not my war.”

“There is no war. Don’t even mention that bullshit,” Bryan sighed in frustration and shook his head, his hair wafting along too.

“I know there’s no war. I’m not getting involved. All I tell him is not to do anything stupid cos its not worth it.”

“So you still talk to him?” Bryan looked surprised, “I thought you guys hated each other.”

“Yeah well I’m grown up now, he is a little. We speak a bit. I’m going to see him next week,” I shrugged.

“Oh,” Bryan looked into his beer, lost for words.

We were silent for a minute before I was about to speak but he jumped in first.

“So you’ll talk to him but you won’t talk to Max? I’m assuming not else you would’a tried, right?”

My face hardened in response and a glare automatically shot across the table.

“I don’t know how you can say that,” I hissed. “You know what he did to me. and Ronnie told me that you guys stopped him from grovelling back to me,” I snapped.

“He did huh,” Bryan nodded. “Should we not have done that?”

Silence overtook me once again.

“I don’t know,” I finally replied in honestly.

“Just talk to him then. Just once,” Bryan bit his lip.

“Just because he knows he fucked up doesn’t mean I owe him a chance at anything you know,” I glared at the table, “Does he know what you did? That you lied to him?”

“We did it with your best interests at heart,” he defended.

“I’m sure he’d agree,” I sighed sarcastically.