And I Will Give You Every Part of Me

This was bad. The familiar awkward tension that had set in between the three of us made me go through a mild panic attack. Kennedy’s face was blank when I had glanced up to him. “Uh hey, Ken! What’s up?” I blurted out. Fortunately, that cleared up the tension a bit. I thank the gods from the heavens for making Kennedy this way. He just smiled his precious smile and offered me his drink. Stephen, on the other, was being indifferent and had looked away to where Maddie and John were at, playing with the water.

“Thanks. Uh, I think I’m gonna go for a swim.” I said. There was no way in hell that I was going to stay there in my seat. I quickly got up and ran to Maddie, who took notice of me immediately. She pushed John away, making him splash against the water. “Ha, loser.” She said before walking up to me.

“I’m guessing that you just had a really uncomfortable encounter with Stephen and Kennedy?” she stated, dragging me further from John. He had gotten up to his feet and tried catching up to us. Maddie stopped and we both turned to him. John’s face was flushed, like he’d been out of breath for a while. “Go away, John. This is girl matter.” Maddie stated.

He sighed and turned away. Maddie continued pulling me further, almost towards the other side of the lake. We got out of the water and sat by the boardwalk. “What happened?” she asked.

“…I kind of flirted with Stephen.”

Maddie's mouth formed an ‘O’ before slapping my arm. “You whore.” She laughed. Okay, maybe I over-exaggerated when I said that I rued men. Maddie just kept laughing at me as I tried my hardest to explain to her that it wasn’t really my intention to flirt, and that I hadn’t really realized that I was already doing it until Stephen started talking about how beautiful I looked in person.

“Oh please!” she exclaimed, slapping my arm once more. “But seriously though Julia, one at man a time. Okay?”

I rolled my eyes on her, making her laugh even more. Maddie had wanted this to happen to me in years, all because of my sudden withdrawal towards the opposite sex. She’d been trying to get me into this kind of situation just so I’d experience what it’s like to be wanted again. But if you think about it in a more positive note, it’s actually a nice idea.

“Whatever. I’m not interested in them both, okay?” I lied. I was interested in one of them, obviously.

She patted my back. “Yeah, as if I’m going to believe that.”

We headed back to where everyone was at and the food was already served when we got there. John was sitting on my spot with a bottle of beer in hand. Garrett was on the grill with Vito. The rest were enjoying the food. I looked around, trying to find Kennedy but failed. He was nowhere in sight. So I joined Maddie at the table instead.

“Looking for someone?” she suddenly asked. Maddie knew me too well.

I shook my head and pretended to look surprised with her question, but she knew that she had already caught me. “Don’t lie to me Julia Hansen, I know you too well.” She said, before taking a bite of her hotdog. I let out an airy laugh and sighed in defeat. “Don’t worry girl, like I said, Kennedy’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet.”

“Yeah, but you know I kind of feel bad.”

“For what?” she asked, gulping on her bottle of beer.

“He might think that you know, I’m leading him on because I’m always to him…I guess.” I sighed. “And we went out on a date for heaven’s sake.” I added.

Maddie fell into laughter once again, ignoring my dilemma like she always would. “I told you, he’s a really nice gu—” she paused for a while. Her eyes landed on someone who was behind me. Of course, it was already obvious who it was. “Kennedy!” she exclaimed. I could feel him smiling.

Kennedy walked up to us. “What’s up ladies?” he asked as he took a seat at the empty chair right next to me. I felt my heart beat accelerate and I stiffened. Maddie, whom was already a bit too hyper, lightened up the mood for me by telling John to go play some music.
Everyone cheered except for john himself. He argued, told Maddie that she could do it herself, but gave in shortly before heading to the car. Maddie sat back on her seat and looked at me, and then at Kennedy. “Aww!” she gasped, clasping her hand together. “You two look great together!”

I shot her a look, glanced at Kennedy, and then shot her a look again. Kennedy let out an awkward laugh, which of course made everything more awkward as it is. “Yeah well, duh. He is sitting right next to a potential beauty queen.” I managed to joke. This time he really laughed, and Maddie joined him.

“Right, potential beauty queen my ass.” She stated.

Our conversation about me having a face and a body that was beauty queen-like went on until everyone finished eating. We, I and Maddie, decided to leave first since we had a lot of things to do before we head back to Texas. John didn’t want us to leave yet; he said he still wanted to watch the sun set with Maddie. But of course, his statement was ignored by Maddie herself. We took our stuff and loaded it back to the car, while John kept on following Maddie like a puppy dog, telling her to stay for a little longer.

“Oh, come on Mads. He just want to spend time with you.” I told her when we got into the car. “And maybe have wild roaring sex behind the bushes before we head back.” I earned myself a forceful slap on the arm. She sighed heavily before turning the engine on. “Look at him!” I exclaimed. John was sitting on one of the foldable chairs with his eyes glued on my Maddie. His face looked like a child who had lost his candy.

But Maddie didn’t cave in. She stepped on the gas pedal and we accelerated through the dusty road, heading back to Maddie's home. It was kind of unusual seeing Maddie resenting John, knowing the fact that had a fling back then. “You okay?” I asked, breaking the silence that had taken over for the past few minutes she’d been driving.

“Yeah.” She replied. And then again, silence.

“Are you sure? What happened back there?” I asked again.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just—I knew what’s going to happen if we stayed. And—and I’m just tired of that, you know?” she stopped, and exhaled heavily. “I just want it to be real, me and John. I want us to be real but he can’t see that, and I can’t tell him that.”
I sunk down to my seat with a sigh. “Why don’t you try?”

“I did. I have tried. But I—I just can’t. He thinks everything I say is a joke.” She replied. Her slowly gripped on the steering wheel tighter, I had noticed. “But never mind.” she sighed. “There’s no hope in between me and him.”

-&&&-

We arrived home at around 8 in the evening, and Maddie's parents were huddle up at the living room. Mrs. Clive was talking about investing on something that we didn’t bother to understand. Maddie and I stayed in my room for a while. She dragged her luggage all the way from her room to mine, “So we can pack faster” she said, before folding all her clothes and piling it up.

On the verge of our conversation about her feelings for John, my phone rang. It was an unregistered number, I picked up after 2 rings and a voice came on. “Uh, Julia. It’s—uh, Kennedy.”

“Who is it? Who is it?” Maddie whispered as she came on to me before snatching my phone. “It’s Kennedy!” I retorted in a low voice before taking my phone back. I asked him if I could be of any assistance. “You could pleasure him in many different ways” Maddie hummed before heading to bathroom. I threw her a pillow which she dodged successfully and then returned my full attention to the guy whom was waiting on the other side of the line. Our conversation didn’t take too long, but it was something like this…

Me: Oh hey, Ken. Can I—uh help you with anything?
Kennedy: Uhm, well I was just wondering
Me:….
Kennedy: …if you’re free tomorrow at lunch
Me: …oh yeah, I am.
Kennedy: So is it okay if—uh we go grab lunch tomorrow…together?
Me: …Yeah, sure. I’d love to.
Kennedy: Erm, alright then. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at noon?
Me: Alright.
Kennedy: Alright, good night.
Me: Good night Ken.

His voice sounded like an angel as usual, and I couldn’t help but feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I felt like was going to puke, and I felt nervous and anxious at the same time. When Maddie came out of the bathroom, I told her about it. She tackled me down the bed, screamed at my face and told me to get it on with him. “God, what kind of disgusting creature do you take me for?” I exclaimed, pushing her off of me.

She fell on the floor, her hands on her stomach while she laughed loudly. “Oh come on, no need to be shy. I know you want his body.” I rolled my eyes and ignored her.

“One time, I heard Kennedy’s quite good in bed.” She teased, shoving me slightly.

I shoved her slightly back and scoffed. “Wow, you really need John to satisfy you right now.” That shut her up. She threw a pillow at me and I threw it back. We had a short pillow fight war before she finally got drained out of energy.

“Julia…” she called, imitating Meryl Streep’s high-pitched voice. I turned to her. “Seriously, if he tries to—you know and you feel like doing it too. Don’t hold back, okay?”

I stayed silent for a while. I wasn’t sure if it was they hyper that took over me, or if it was all the tension that had built up inside for the past few years. But it definitely did take over me. And then I said, “Yeah, I won’t.”