Drop Dead Gerard

Lydia lay there on her bed taking in the music, It took her back to that past painful memory.

I walked into his room, maybe for the last time there was no way of really telling anymore.
I never really thought it was possible for your heart to physically brake because of another human being but i learned now that it is.
Sometimes i thing god hates us but i guess that's stupid ,i don't know why this had to happen to him ...but it has.
Its almost impossible now to hide the fact that I'm worried sick and to stop myself from bursting out into tears every time i see him.
Death? Maybe i could have handled death its allot easier than this.
Like every day for the last month since we found out about the cancer taking over him i walked into his room and helped him with his food.
Everyday since then its got worse.
I cant remember the last time i rested or didn't think about him.

He was lying in his bed with that saddened smile on his face.
He would always try and smile when i entered the room to lift my hopes a little.
I think he knew there was nothing that would ever make me happy again , but he had to try.
To look at him now you'd say he was a different person. He's not that talkative happy guy that Had the world at his finger tips and his whole life in front of him.
He was just another thing in this world waiting for that final moment to come.
He couldn't enjoy his last days...he was far too week for that.
Despite his dying form i love him more than life itself, I think thats why it hurts the most.
Maybe i can understand if its someones time to go...
what i don't understand is why somebody should suffer in this way.
He sat there still watching his cartoons that he'd always loved despite being 28 years old.
I heard him laugh now and again at the jokes. He had a way of escaping through the TV, they could take his mind anywhere he wanted to go.
Me on the other hand...I'm stuck here.
I watch him slowly fade away, his shriveled yellow tinged skin surrounding his now lifeless body.
I love him but deep down in my heart i know this isn't living, This isn't Dan anymore.
So thats when i decided i Had to do something.
put him out of his missery and poison him.
It was the only way and i don't blame myself for doing it.
I pored it over his food and watched as he took his first bite then another until eating it whole.
His eyes were so blood shot and teary but he still wore that smile that said i promise everything will be okay.
I knew that was a promise he coldent keep.
After his meal he asked me to come closer to him so he could hug me. I felt comforted but guilty.
He hugged me so tight and he began to sob. I dont think he ever wanted to leave go of me.
I couldn't take this, it was too painful.
He went to sleep soon after than. I knew he wouldn't wake up now
i went up to him and whispered "I love you" Then i just lay there feeling his last breaths dying out.
Id left enough poison to take my own life. Some might say its a waste of a good living life but i knew i couldn't live after this.
Things would be the same as before, maybe we might get that chance to be ahppy again .
I put the poison into my ice cold drink and drunk it. I then lye next to him still listening to the last heart beats pumping through his chest.
It wouldn't be long now.

Lydia woke up...
"...Why arent you with me now" She whispered under her breath.