Status: /STARTING\
The Angel From My Nightmare
I Never Made it Easy to Shape My Heart, but it's Not Beating Now
Jacks POV
I was useless, and I didn’t understand why Alex bothered to come to me. When he told me about his father’s death, I just sat there. I knew that there was really nothing I could do, but people comfort others, but I couldn’t. I just sat there and stared at the table.
He should have known better anyways, out of all of his friends, he came to me. The amount of trust he had in me was putting me in an incomprehensible position. I thought of stroking his back and telling me it’s going to be okay, something I’ve read in books and seen in movies. Something a ‘friend’ would do. But I couldn’t. So I sit there, staring at Alex, who had his face buried in his arms. I almost thought that he had fallen asleep when he finally lifts his head up.
“I’m so sorry.” He says looking at me now. There was no reason to apologize, I felt like I should be the one apologizing. I was a horrible human being. Sitting here staring at a table when he’s been through so much. I shake my head, I lift my hand up and place it on his shoulder, and I slightly squeeze it. It was the best form of comfort I could give him.
He looks at me in surprise. I’ve never physically touched someone else, maybe when I was a little kid and my grandmother would hug me, I hugged back, she was the only human I ever felt close comfortable with, but she passed away when I was seven and the only person I trusted was gone from my life.
I finally remove my hand from his shoulder. I didn’t notice that I was holding my breath, I slowly let the air out and smile at Alex. I wanted to trust people again. I wanted to be a friend to Alex.
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Alex was gone, an awkward goodbye exchanged with a wave. He was at least smiling slightly. He was so broken, his father wasn’t a great man and he treated Alex like shit, but he was trying to make amends with his family, and I knew that Alex would soon forgive him, but he didn’t even have time to change his mind before his father was gone again.
After trailing back into my room, passing nurses and patients. I lie down on my bed and close my eyes. This was going to be my life for the next year or so. I was supposed to be here, I was supposed to get better. I didn't know what they expected me to do, what they expected of me. I close my eyes and drift off, I never wanted to get up. But all I could think about was Alex and I hope to god that he doesn’t have to go through more pain.
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Alex’s POV
I smiled as I walked outside to the parking lot. I knew Rian would be here soon to pick me up. It was only a hand on my shoulder, but I felt warm under his touch. My heart sped up and there was a weird sensation in my stomach. I hadn't felt this happy in weeks. I zip my hoodie up, a cool breeze hitting my face.
Finally Rian’s car arrived. He drove me back home, talking to me about anything other then what has been happening, and I appreciated it dearly. He was the best friend that anyone could ask for. He dropped me off at home which was as silent as usual, even though I knew my mom was upstairs in her room. I slip my shoes off and make my way up the stairs to check in on her. I knew she felt the pain when he left before, but she had that little hope in her. Now our family was broken, half was gone, the other half was stuck here to dwell over it.
I knock lightly on her door and sigh when I hear no reply. I silently open it to see her in her bed, fast asleep. I felt like I was the mom, slowly walking to her bed to check on her. I see the glass of water and plate of food I left for her before I went to visit Jack, still on her bedside. I had to be the strong one again, I had to endure the pain of being ignored, I had to endure the blame and guilt. I wanted to run away from this all, but I tell myself over and over again that I’ll be fine, I’ll be just fine.
I was useless, and I didn’t understand why Alex bothered to come to me. When he told me about his father’s death, I just sat there. I knew that there was really nothing I could do, but people comfort others, but I couldn’t. I just sat there and stared at the table.
He should have known better anyways, out of all of his friends, he came to me. The amount of trust he had in me was putting me in an incomprehensible position. I thought of stroking his back and telling me it’s going to be okay, something I’ve read in books and seen in movies. Something a ‘friend’ would do. But I couldn’t. So I sit there, staring at Alex, who had his face buried in his arms. I almost thought that he had fallen asleep when he finally lifts his head up.
“I’m so sorry.” He says looking at me now. There was no reason to apologize, I felt like I should be the one apologizing. I was a horrible human being. Sitting here staring at a table when he’s been through so much. I shake my head, I lift my hand up and place it on his shoulder, and I slightly squeeze it. It was the best form of comfort I could give him.
He looks at me in surprise. I’ve never physically touched someone else, maybe when I was a little kid and my grandmother would hug me, I hugged back, she was the only human I ever felt close comfortable with, but she passed away when I was seven and the only person I trusted was gone from my life.
I finally remove my hand from his shoulder. I didn’t notice that I was holding my breath, I slowly let the air out and smile at Alex. I wanted to trust people again. I wanted to be a friend to Alex.
----------------
Alex was gone, an awkward goodbye exchanged with a wave. He was at least smiling slightly. He was so broken, his father wasn’t a great man and he treated Alex like shit, but he was trying to make amends with his family, and I knew that Alex would soon forgive him, but he didn’t even have time to change his mind before his father was gone again.
After trailing back into my room, passing nurses and patients. I lie down on my bed and close my eyes. This was going to be my life for the next year or so. I was supposed to be here, I was supposed to get better. I didn't know what they expected me to do, what they expected of me. I close my eyes and drift off, I never wanted to get up. But all I could think about was Alex and I hope to god that he doesn’t have to go through more pain.
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Alex’s POV
I smiled as I walked outside to the parking lot. I knew Rian would be here soon to pick me up. It was only a hand on my shoulder, but I felt warm under his touch. My heart sped up and there was a weird sensation in my stomach. I hadn't felt this happy in weeks. I zip my hoodie up, a cool breeze hitting my face.
Finally Rian’s car arrived. He drove me back home, talking to me about anything other then what has been happening, and I appreciated it dearly. He was the best friend that anyone could ask for. He dropped me off at home which was as silent as usual, even though I knew my mom was upstairs in her room. I slip my shoes off and make my way up the stairs to check in on her. I knew she felt the pain when he left before, but she had that little hope in her. Now our family was broken, half was gone, the other half was stuck here to dwell over it.
I knock lightly on her door and sigh when I hear no reply. I silently open it to see her in her bed, fast asleep. I felt like I was the mom, slowly walking to her bed to check on her. I see the glass of water and plate of food I left for her before I went to visit Jack, still on her bedside. I had to be the strong one again, I had to endure the pain of being ignored, I had to endure the blame and guilt. I wanted to run away from this all, but I tell myself over and over again that I’ll be fine, I’ll be just fine.
♠ ♠ ♠
okie-dokie.