The Angel From My Nightmare

I wake up on a bench, feeling cold water sprinkle on my face. My eyes flutter open, the sun was almost disappearing and the light blue color of the sky was now mixed with dark blue and oranges. I gasp, sitting up clearly trying to remember how the hell I ended up on a random park. My memory soon settled back into my brain as I remember the walk from the hospital Jack was in. My mind was interrupted from mid thought by a voice.

"Are you okay dear?"

I look to my side, a middle aged women was staring at me, her face full of worry. I try to nod my head but groan, the pain in my head still vibrant and alive. I clutch into it, holding it tightly trying to stop the vibration of pain, as it passes throughout my skull. She obviously knows exactly how I'm doing without me having to open my mouth, because she tells me to lay back down on the bench.

"I'm a doctor sweetheart, I work at Jane Diskins Hospital, it's a mile away." I knew the hospital, Jack was there. I feel myself getting nauseous.

"Just lay down and I'll watch over you until you recover, okay?"

I couldn't speak so instead I make a noise of agreement before slipping into a state of oblivion.

----

After I woke up, I was feeling a little better. The doctor told me that I needed to set an appointment as soon as possible. It wasn't the best of symptoms to have huge migraines and pass out in random parks. I told her thanks and took her suggestion when I got home, setting an appointment in two days. I didn't even tell my mom or Rian about the incident, texting him that I was home safely.

I wasn't sleepy anymore, due to the hour of rest I had, and it was only nine in the afternoon. I drag myself into the bathroom, washing my face with warm water. I stare at myself in the mirror, the water droplets slowly descending from my forehead to my chin, then taking a fall on the counter. I was a mess.

I wasnt like this before. I didn't care about my fathers existence, I was totally fine that he left for two to the weeks with no explanation. I was fine that my mom never really spoke to me and buried herself with work just to leave the house everyday. She knew exactly what he was doing, but she never told me. Obviously it was upsetting, it was too disgusting to think about.

Maybe he had another son in Massachusetts that he loved more then me. I laughed at that. How is he doing knowing that his dad is dead? Does he even know I exist?

We were all destined to fall. Our happiness never lasting. I lived a few years thinking that I was content with my life no matter how screwed up it was. I didn't care, all I cared about was that I could live and experience what I wanted. I could live and breathe. But now I was just falling. Falling from that throne of happiness, it never lasts.

I couldn't even blame Jack for wanting to leave this world. I frown at my own thoughts. Why would I even say that?

I wasn't suicidal, and I had no intentions of pulling a trigger on my head. I just wanted to sleep, sleep until all the problems in my life leave and never come back. I want to wake up smiling at the blue sky and the warm sun. I wanted to be the happy again.