The Angel From My Nightmare

You know that dreadful feeling you feel when you avoid someone you like. You think it's a good feeling at the moment but it comes back to bite you later. I felt it.. It was overwhelming and I hated feeling overwhelmed.

I had my notebook on my desk, my pencil was lined neatly next to it, the page had some indentions on it and I had to tear it apart because it didn't look right. It was getting claustrophobic sitting here in this chair. I really wanted to slam my head on to the wooden desk in front of me.

I picked up my pencil and I decided writing would stop my agony. The creeping pain that was trying to bring me down.

'Jack.. You are such a freak.. Why? Why can't you be normal? Why can't you act like everyone else? Who the hell do you think you are? You're pathetic. You're a waste of space. Die. Just die..'

It was back. That voice. It was always back, it always there to haunt me into misery until I take that blade that I hid away, so neatly. I could find it with a blindfold tied to cover my eyes. It was my savior. The only thing that I could go to.

I shake my head. Not now.. I roll the pencil in my fingers. What should I write about? What should I express so deeply?

There was one thing that popped into my head instantly. Alex. I felt my brain urging me to write about him. Maybe about his beautiful caramel hair that toppled over on his head. As annoying as that messy look looked, I knew that it wouldn't look good any other way.

Or maybe that sweet smile he would smile all the time. It was like honey, it was purely addicting. It makes you want more each time you see it. I wrote everything. I wrote everything I could think about, about Alex.

I ended up filling ten pages. It was possibly the most I wrote about anything. I really, really liked him.

--

I woke up at exactly five o clock am. It was Friday. I wore the clothes that I left on the shelf, it was neatly folded, and it smelled like the detergent I always used. Anything else would make me go insane. I used the same tooth paste, the same soup, the same shampoo, and the same conditioner.

My backpack hanged on a hook in my closet all my books neatly put inside of it. I had a zipper with all my pencils, but even though I had so many, I always used one.

I walked the same way as usual. I stared at my feet. I knew the way, I didnt have to even take a peak up.

Then I heard a honk. It scared me so much that I almost fell. I looked up quickly in panic. It was Alex, and a somewhat bald man in the car. Alex was waving at me and he put his head out of the window.

"Hey Jack! Do you want a ride?"

The school was 2 more miles away, and I could walk there. I didn't really like any type of transportation. I bit my lip, I felt stupid. If I take the ride then maybe I can get that annoying conscious out of my head. The one that always nags me about ignoring the other boy. But if I say yes there would be a possibility that he'd ask me over and over. I couldn't do that.

I shake my head. And I see Alex frown, "Wait." he says. I look back up, I really wished he would stop.

"Just once. I promise. Please Jack, please."

I didn't get why he wanted me to come so bad. It was one car ride. But this boy was so consistent of trying to get me to say something or do something with him. It was confusing, I've never had anyone ever pay this much attention to me. I didn't even know if I like it or not.

"Please!" he said dragging out the e, making me crack a smile. 'Jack Barakat this is your only chance of actually trying, don't be stupid and reject it.' his mind just loved telling him what to do.

Jack hesitates for a while. But decides it wouldn't hurt. So he nodded. And the look in Alex's face made Jack assured, that this was a good decision.