Left Behind

When I was around seven years old, I got separated from my little sister, mom and dad. It was the end of summer and hurricane after hurricane flowed into the state of Louisiana. Everyone was evacuating from the City, people were running back and forth trying to get all of their things into trucks and cars; everyone including my family. Mom and Dad grabbed all of their things and double checked to make sure that they had everything that night. I watched them as they loaded everything into the back and went over the mental checklists in their heads: cooler, check; Suitcases check; Charlie, check. They had everything and made sure that nothing was forgotten. Ironically, as I watched them pull away from the driveway hurriedly, the only thing that had been forgotten was me.

It’s been eight years since I was forgotten, as I watched their car turn into a tiny speck of dust floating further and further away from me. I learned a lot since then and I’m still learning every day. I’ve been getting along since then on my own living not even paycheck to paycheck, since I'm not even old enough to have a job. I sit on the streets all day and night with a tiny tin can that I found, that was once filled with green beans, hoping that someone will drop a coin into it. Even the smell of the raw green beans can and rotten garbage makes my stomach growl from hunger.

I don’t know when my next meal will come, I don’t know the next piece of clothing I’ll be able to change into, I don’t know if I’ll even be alive tomorrow, but one thing I do know is that I’m not giving up on myself. I’m not staying here forever. I’m going back to school and I will be successful with whatever it takes.

I wish that I could say that my family came back for me, that they realized as soon as they left that they pulled out of the driveway without their oldest child strapped securely into her seatbelt, but I can’t. I wish I could say that I still don’t cry every night begging them to come back for me, but I can’t. I wish I could say that I didn’t blame God for where I am now, but I do. If he really cared about me, or if he’s really there even, he wouldn’t put a kid through this. He wouldn’t put me through this.

“Hey, I found some bread,” Lucy said walking up to me and sliding down the wall into a sitting position. She took a half a loaf of bread from wrapped in jacket and showed it to me. Lucy was someone that’s been here as long as I have. She was a year older than me, and treated me like a younger sister. She was a runaway at eight, believe it or not.

“You mean stole,” I replied taking it from her hands and opening it. I took out a piece and bit into it savoring every bite as the bread kissed each taste bud on my tongue.

“You’re welcome,” she said smiling and taking a piece out for her to enjoy. “We’ll save some for later too. If there’s anything I learned from being out here, it’s that you have to save.”

I chewed in complete silence for a little while until a question that I’ve always wanted to ask her popped into my mind. “Lucy, do you ever wish you would’ve never run away? Like, would you ever go back?”

“All the time,” she replied without a doubt in her mind. “I would go back in a blink of an eye. I was just so damn stubborn and wanted everything my way. I should’ve listened.”

I looked to the ground because the look on her face was too terrible to look at. I know how she felt, but it seemed like it was too late for the both of us. I wasn’t going to let it be too late for me. “Luce, I'm going back to school,” I said looking at her from the corner of my eyes fearing her reaction.

“What? How will you even manage that,” she said brushing her matted hair from her face with her grungy fingers.

I sighed. “I have to go back to school. When I was little, my parents always told me that I had to be successful in life. Even though they didn’t stick around for me to make that promise to them, I’m making the promise to myself.”

“What’s wrong with this life?” she said inhaling the dirty alley air that smelled of garbage and weed. “I can’t picture my life any other way now. This is my lifestyle, Carter.”

I shook my head at her. “Come with me Lucy. We can go to school together. We can make it together. Please, I don’t want to do it alone. Only if I have to,” I gave her a desperate look.

She scoffed, “Hunny, we got nothing. We worth nothing. We never gonna be nothing. We can’t even afford a decent pair of shoes. How the hell would we go to school?”

“I don’t know, but I will find out. School’s starting back in a couple days and I’m going back for the second semester. I’ll find somewhere to bathe, and I’ll scrap up change to wash the one outfit I do have, and at least they have lunch at school. They even have those free lunch programs for the people that can’t afford it. Think about it Lucy, we can be something if we try.”

“High school’s a rough place, baby. People are cruel these days, and the way we live… I don’t want your feelings to get hurt. You know what I mean,” she replied trying to convince me otherwise. “I just don’t know about this idea.”

“Don’t you wanna be something? You always look out for me, and now it’s my turn to look out for you. Please Lucy, it’ll be worth it," i begged.

“I don’t know, Carter. We’ll just have to wait it out and see.”