Status: Whisper words of wisdom, Let it be. (:
Left Behind
Carter's Flashback
CARTER
It was around the end of November, early December. I was starving and cold. I was tired of suffering, I was tired of living in poverty, and I was just plain tired. Mostly, I was tired of living period. That day, I wanted the quickest way out. I was going to do anything to end it right then and there because I felt that I had no reason or purpose in life. I had left Lucy and taken a bus to St. James. That day, I was going to commit suicide.
The sunshine bridge was being held up by Angels that night. Not the beautiful, white-winged angels, but the dark, black, fallen angels that are calling you down to the depths of hell. And on that night, the bridge was calling my name.
When no cars were passing I walked up the bridge. It was really late, maybe around two in the morning, so I knew that no one would be coming by. I made it to the top and held on to the railing. Back and forth I rocked making sure that this was the correct decision. That could’ve been the last decision of my life.
I took a couple of deep breaths and my grip tightened around the rail. My hands began to move upward and my feet sailed to the railings. I was standing on the side of the bridge and I was ready to jump off. Only one or two tears fell from my eyes, only thinking about the one person that this might affect. Lucy. I hoped she didn’t hate me for leaving her alone. I stood there for a while gathering up the courage to let go. I was ready, but my hands wouldn’t do it.
I decided to do a countdown in my head. By the time I got to four, I knew wouldn’t be afraid anymore. Ten… nine… eight… seven… six… five… four… my grip loosened. Three… my mind was clear. Two… I was ready to fly and one…
“Stop! What the Fuck are you doing, girl?” A guy was running up the ramp of the bridge towards me. His car was still running at the bottom and his door was flung open. “Wait!”
I glared at him as my eyes widened. That wasn’t supposed to happen. No one was supposed to find me. I was only supposed to remain a creature at the bottom of the Mississippi for no one to find. He ran over to me before I could move. I was frozen.
“Hey, don’t do this,” he said in an easy, soothing voice. “It’s not worth it,” he got closer to me.
“How would you know? You don’t know me, or my life!” I yelled releasing more tears to flow from my eyes. “You don’t know me.”
“Yeah, but nobody’s life is worth wasting,” he said. He touched my back, but I snatched away from him. “D-Don’t slip. Just… just give me your hand.”
“No! Why are you here? Just let me jump. Please,” I begged.
“What kind of person would I be if I let you jump from the top of the sunshine bridge?” he chuckled. My expression remained the same.
“A good one,” I said rolling my eyes and looking back to the water.
“No, it’s not happening. Give me your hand.” I shook my head. “There can’t possibly be a bad enough reason for someone as beautiful as you to want to kill themselves. We could discuss over a delicious meal at iHop?”
If i weren't so serious about this, I would have laughed. I looked at him and he was practically begging, but I wasn’t giving in that easily. I turned away and counted to three in my head and released my hands from the metal bars of the bridge only to be pulled back by a muscular force around my rib cage.
I landed to the ground, back slamming hardly against the road, with a thud and slowly opened my eyes as I rolled a little. The guy was sitting there with the most frightened look on his face. He looked at me like I was crazy and slowly formed words.
“You were really gonna do it.” He said it as more of a statement rather than a question. He ran his hands through his gorgeous brown hair and sat there like he had just seen a ghost. All I could think was how my opportunity was ruined and I’d never find enough change to get back home.
I started to cry, or better yet, sob. I didn’t know if it was because I was stopped, or from the fear of the fact that I was really about to do it. Had I really let go just that easily? If he wouldn’t have shown up, I would’ve been squished in between air and the ocean like an egg on cement. What if he wouldn’t have showed up? I wouldn’t be here right now. I couldn’t wrap my head around the concept of death.
What would I feel once I was dead? Nothing. How did that make any sense?
The guy walked over and helped me from the ground. “Are you okay?”
“Mhm,” I said nodding quickly. I looked at him up and down then turned to walk down the bridge.
“Wait! Do you need a ride?” He yelled behind me.
“No, I’ll find one,” I replied.
“You just did. Now get in before I have to shoot your ass.” He ran up behind me a grabbed my arm and led me to his car. I could feel his hands trembling, but if I were him I would have been shaking too. I got into the passenger seat without argument and buckled in. He laughed nervously.
“What?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I just think it’s pretty funny that you put your seatbelt on and you were about to jump off of the side of a bridge, Sweetie.”
“Oh.” I was sort of embarrassed of the statement, but I decided to act like he never said it. We crossed the bridge as I looked over the water that could’ve been my deathbed. I was glad that I wasn’t dead. For some reason, him telling me that my life wasn’t worth wasting changed the way that I thought about things.
“Want to listen to music?”
“No thanks, I rather silence,” I replied nonchalantly.
“Okay. Oh by the way, my name’s Kelley. Brycen Kelley.”
“Nice way to meet somebody huh?” I shrugged knocking the embarrassment off of my shoulders.
“Uh, very interesting way I guess,” he chuckled nervously. “What’s your name?”
I looked out of the window. “Me? My name’s Carter. Carter Deville.”
He reached out his hand that he wasn’t driving with to give me a friendly handshake, but instead I reached over and hugged him. “Thank you,” I whispered into his ear. “Thanks for saving my life.”
“Anytime,” he replied.
It was around the end of November, early December. I was starving and cold. I was tired of suffering, I was tired of living in poverty, and I was just plain tired. Mostly, I was tired of living period. That day, I wanted the quickest way out. I was going to do anything to end it right then and there because I felt that I had no reason or purpose in life. I had left Lucy and taken a bus to St. James. That day, I was going to commit suicide.
The sunshine bridge was being held up by Angels that night. Not the beautiful, white-winged angels, but the dark, black, fallen angels that are calling you down to the depths of hell. And on that night, the bridge was calling my name.
When no cars were passing I walked up the bridge. It was really late, maybe around two in the morning, so I knew that no one would be coming by. I made it to the top and held on to the railing. Back and forth I rocked making sure that this was the correct decision. That could’ve been the last decision of my life.
I took a couple of deep breaths and my grip tightened around the rail. My hands began to move upward and my feet sailed to the railings. I was standing on the side of the bridge and I was ready to jump off. Only one or two tears fell from my eyes, only thinking about the one person that this might affect. Lucy. I hoped she didn’t hate me for leaving her alone. I stood there for a while gathering up the courage to let go. I was ready, but my hands wouldn’t do it.
I decided to do a countdown in my head. By the time I got to four, I knew wouldn’t be afraid anymore. Ten… nine… eight… seven… six… five… four… my grip loosened. Three… my mind was clear. Two… I was ready to fly and one…
“Stop! What the Fuck are you doing, girl?” A guy was running up the ramp of the bridge towards me. His car was still running at the bottom and his door was flung open. “Wait!”
I glared at him as my eyes widened. That wasn’t supposed to happen. No one was supposed to find me. I was only supposed to remain a creature at the bottom of the Mississippi for no one to find. He ran over to me before I could move. I was frozen.
“Hey, don’t do this,” he said in an easy, soothing voice. “It’s not worth it,” he got closer to me.
“How would you know? You don’t know me, or my life!” I yelled releasing more tears to flow from my eyes. “You don’t know me.”
“Yeah, but nobody’s life is worth wasting,” he said. He touched my back, but I snatched away from him. “D-Don’t slip. Just… just give me your hand.”
“No! Why are you here? Just let me jump. Please,” I begged.
“What kind of person would I be if I let you jump from the top of the sunshine bridge?” he chuckled. My expression remained the same.
“A good one,” I said rolling my eyes and looking back to the water.
“No, it’s not happening. Give me your hand.” I shook my head. “There can’t possibly be a bad enough reason for someone as beautiful as you to want to kill themselves. We could discuss over a delicious meal at iHop?”
If i weren't so serious about this, I would have laughed. I looked at him and he was practically begging, but I wasn’t giving in that easily. I turned away and counted to three in my head and released my hands from the metal bars of the bridge only to be pulled back by a muscular force around my rib cage.
I landed to the ground, back slamming hardly against the road, with a thud and slowly opened my eyes as I rolled a little. The guy was sitting there with the most frightened look on his face. He looked at me like I was crazy and slowly formed words.
“You were really gonna do it.” He said it as more of a statement rather than a question. He ran his hands through his gorgeous brown hair and sat there like he had just seen a ghost. All I could think was how my opportunity was ruined and I’d never find enough change to get back home.
I started to cry, or better yet, sob. I didn’t know if it was because I was stopped, or from the fear of the fact that I was really about to do it. Had I really let go just that easily? If he wouldn’t have shown up, I would’ve been squished in between air and the ocean like an egg on cement. What if he wouldn’t have showed up? I wouldn’t be here right now. I couldn’t wrap my head around the concept of death.
What would I feel once I was dead? Nothing. How did that make any sense?
The guy walked over and helped me from the ground. “Are you okay?”
“Mhm,” I said nodding quickly. I looked at him up and down then turned to walk down the bridge.
“Wait! Do you need a ride?” He yelled behind me.
“No, I’ll find one,” I replied.
“You just did. Now get in before I have to shoot your ass.” He ran up behind me a grabbed my arm and led me to his car. I could feel his hands trembling, but if I were him I would have been shaking too. I got into the passenger seat without argument and buckled in. He laughed nervously.
“What?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I just think it’s pretty funny that you put your seatbelt on and you were about to jump off of the side of a bridge, Sweetie.”
“Oh.” I was sort of embarrassed of the statement, but I decided to act like he never said it. We crossed the bridge as I looked over the water that could’ve been my deathbed. I was glad that I wasn’t dead. For some reason, him telling me that my life wasn’t worth wasting changed the way that I thought about things.
“Want to listen to music?”
“No thanks, I rather silence,” I replied nonchalantly.
“Okay. Oh by the way, my name’s Kelley. Brycen Kelley.”
“Nice way to meet somebody huh?” I shrugged knocking the embarrassment off of my shoulders.
“Uh, very interesting way I guess,” he chuckled nervously. “What’s your name?”
I looked out of the window. “Me? My name’s Carter. Carter Deville.”
He reached out his hand that he wasn’t driving with to give me a friendly handshake, but instead I reached over and hugged him. “Thank you,” I whispered into his ear. “Thanks for saving my life.”
“Anytime,” he replied.
♠ ♠ ♠
Comments? pleaase :)