Why Don't We Just Let This One Take Care of Itself?

Just The Way You Are

The next day, I wasn't surprised to see that we were still on the road. I slept in Jaime's bunk once again, and it felt like heaven. I stayed in the bed and smiled to myself, it was Monday and I didn't have to worry about work. I closed my eyes and let my mind wonder.
I pictured Jaime and I's date, whenever it was going to be. 
I pictured us sitting at a pizza place. Both of us having a slice of cheese pizza. Talking and laughing about any and everything. We'd walk around on the sidewalk, acting like retards. Go into random places and do the most random things and having people stare at us with fixed expressions. Exactly.

Hopefully it'd go something like that.

I got out of Jaime's bunk and walked to the front, only to find him sitting there as if expecting me. I smiled and sat on the couch. He were watching, doing or saying anything. We were just enjoying each other's presence. Every now and then he'd nudge me, and I'd poke his nose. We'd laugh at each other, and he'd lean his head on my shoulder.
"Very romantic," I said.
"Shhhh," he put a finger to my lips," don't ruin the moment."
I smiled and we were like this for a moment. In the middle of all the silence my stomach decided to do an impression of a dying rhino. 
Holy shit.
"Are you hungry?" he asked smiling at me.
"No, no. I'm fine," I lied. I was pretty hungry, but I wasn't going to pig out in front of this beautiful person.
"Maya, if you're hungry, you're hungry. You can eat its okay," he said picking his head up.
"But the thing is,I'm not hungry."
"But your stomach says other wise," he said in a serious tone but still slightly smiling.
"My stomach's too big to be fed, if it's hungry it can eat itself," I said not looking at him, but I meant it. 
He sighed and his weight was lifted from the couch. I was looking down at my feet. I unseeingly stared at my bright miss matched socks, my mind was far off in another life. One where my weight wasn't a problem with me.

He sat back down next to me, I looked at him and he was holding the bag a pretzel we had bought the day before. 
"Here have some," he said taking one. I just shook my head,"So, you believe you're fat huh?"
I nodded.
"Has anyone ever told you that?"
"Not really but... I tend to compare myself. A lot. And ya know Scott, he was...a lot thinner than me.."
"Maya, you compare yourself. And you see that your body is different. So you want to change your body to look like other girls," I nodded my head he continued," Well, you know what else is different? Your hair. Your hair's blue, would you change it to look like someone else's? I love your hair. Your hair's perfect and so is your body."
Ahhh...I see what he did there. I just smiled. He leaned on me and held the bag in front of me. 
"Here have a pretzel or two," he offered. I stuck my head in the bag and bit into it," You want some Nutella with that? I'll get it anyway."
He got up, I was actually so much hungrier than I led on. I haven't eaten, in two weeks. Ever since I realized that my hoodie was bigger than Scott's. I've only eaten little things, like yogurt and water. Sure I've gotten light headed but I brushed it off.
"Are you okay?" he asked. He was sitting down already and I hadn't noticed. 
"Uh, yeah man," I smiled as best as I could. I dug for another pretzel and dipped it in Nutella. It was like heaven in my mouth. 
"So how long have you not eaten. I don't remember seeing you eat yesterday," he asked.
Well, I had to see it coming.
"Um...a few days. No biggie," I was looking at my feet. 
"I'm sorry can you say that again, only with more truth in it."
"I was telling the truth."
"Then look me in the eyes and tell me how long you starved yourself." his face and tone was completely serious. 
I felt a lump in my throat, and fought with myself to push it down," Umm...probably about like two... weeks."
I heard Vic stir in his sleep as Tony,it sounded like, sat up and yawned.
"Two weeks," he repeated,"Two weeks. Why?" silent tears ran down my face and onto my shirt.
Tony walked in basketball shorts and grey t shirt. His hair looked like a mop.
"Goodbye little blue and spike," he yawned. He stopped when he saw my face," Maya what's wrong?"
Despite Jaime giving a grimace and my wet face, I replied,"Nothing. I'm okay really."
"You still didn't tell me why," said Jaime in a softer tone,"I want to know."
I tried to wipe my tears but Jaime stopped me,"No no no, that's my job."
I smiled,"Well, two weeks back,one day Scott was at work and I was doing the laundry. Well, I put Scott's grey hoodie in the washing machine but mine wasn't in the basket. In my dresser was my grey hoodie, and it was bigger than his. Not by a lot but still. I shouldn't be bigger than my boyfriend," the tears were coming back again,"it's being in a place where everywhere you go, I see slim girls in their boyfriend's clothes. Knowing that I couldn't do that, because they wouldn't fit." 
Tony came over to me and patted me on the back.
"I had the same kind of problem when I first joined the band," he told me,"Well, I was kinda chubby when we started and you know how skinny the Fuentes are. I never actually cared until one day I took a picture with Vic. When I saw it he looked so... small compared to me and I hated it so... I stopped. I stopped eating."
He slightly smiled and went on,"No one really cared out my weight. It was just me who seemed to see it."
"What made you stop?" I asked in true curiosity
" I really don't remember...Jaime,do you remember?"
"Yeah, we were playing on stage. And we were jumping and doing our thing as usual. Then your sound faded away. Like, you stopped playing and you stood there. We were all like 'Tony what's wrong?' or 'Tony are you okay?' and you didn't answer us. Then you fell. When you woke up, you asked what happened and you told us you hadn't eaten in a month."
He nodded his head,"Comparing yourself sucks. Especially if it's your friend you secretly want to look like."
This was truly a shock to me. I couldn't imagine any of Pierce The Veil feeling insecure about anything. 
♠ ♠ ♠
Their date's coming up soon!