Boys & Things

You can feel the tension crackle in the air. Tate walks up to us and eyes Cooper who sizes him up in return. They’re like dogs, circling each other, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It figures that the one day where I would like nothing more than to strangle Tate Armstrong is the day where I see him the most. The two girls he’s left behind give me the stink eye and look me up and down. It’s obvious by the look on their faces that they’re wondering what on earth two of the most attractive boys on the planet are doing talking to someone like me.

“Tate,” Cooper says stiffly.

“Cooper,” Tate replies in a cool voice. I hate to notice it but the shirt Tate’s wearing really makes his eyes look green. His dark hair is getting a little longer and curls up just so at the nape of his neck. His bangs swoosh across his forehead in a way that my hair never looks. It probably does that all by itself whereas if I left my hair alone, it would grow a separate body and eat the whole town.

I look at Tate and think about the trouble he’s caused me. “Cooper,” I say, “let’s go somewhere else.” I glance over at the two girls who are hanging on to my every word. I may not be on the same level as them physically but I’ve gotten the attention for two very fine specimens and that means I must have tricks or be easy or something that’ll make good gossip. There’s one way to put an end to the rumors. “Tate, I’m sorry, but I’m breaking up with you.” Tate’s eyes widen and the girls’ mouths drop open. I see one of them reach for her cell phone and start tapping away at it.

I grab Cooper’s hand and pull him from the shop. The hot air hits me hard and I already miss the cool air conditioning of the ice cream parlor. But I just “broke up” with Tate Armstrong and there’s no way I’m going to sit around with my “new boyfriend”, Cooper, and nonchalantly eat ice cream.

“What was that?” Cooper asks. “I thought you said you weren’t dating Tate.” He sounds slightly angry and definitely confused.

“I’ll explain when we get farther away.”

We walk a little ways down the road. There’s not a lot of cars out but there’s a lot of people walking around. It’s mostly adults though so I’m spared the dirty looks I’d be sure to get if they were my age. The adults have their own scandal; they don’t need teenage ones, too. I wonder if they know about Kelly and my dad. Probably not or we’d have already been ran from the town, the people screaming with pitchforks and torches.

“I’m not,” I tell him once we find a place to sit down. We’re at, surprise, a park. But this isn’t the same park that bad things seem to always happen at, it’s a smaller park with a tiny playground and only one swing. “I’m not dating Tate nor have I ever dated Tate but he apparently thinks so and so does everybody else. The only way to get him off my back and get everyone else out of my hair would be to break up with him. Those two girls were my witnesses.”

Cooper nods but he seems a little confused. “Why would Tate say that?”

I shrug. “Cause he’s stupid?” I want to go somewhere that isn’t so hot but there’s not really anywhere else to go.

Then Cooper looks at me and says, “Look, I know you’re Kelly’s best friend—”

“Ex-best friend,” I correct.

“—but I was thinking about earlier. You were right; stealing a girl from her house and taking her somewhere does sound like a date.” Cooper pushes his hair out of his face. I’m very aware that we’re not the only ones at the park. People are busy going about their lives around us, not even knowing that Cooper is probably about to say something to drastically change our relationship. I think of Ben.

Ben asked me out at the movies. It was our third date. Well, fourth if you count the time when Ben and I skipped fourth period to make out in his car. I was still surprised that he still wanted to see me, let alone date me. But there I was, standing in line for popcorn when Ben grabbed my hand, looked me in the eyes, and asked me to be his girlfriend. And I, completely unaware of the fact that Ben was gay, said yes. Because I’d never had a boyfriend before and it was exciting. Then I think of Cooper. Who isn’t gay and who is attractive and nice and doesn’t think I make people gay or have some weird animal fetish.

“So,” he says, “would you like to go on a date with me? Right now, I mean.”

I shrug. “Sure,” I say. “But where can we go? The ice cream parlor might be a little awkward.”

Cooper laughs a little and scratches his head. “We can rent a movie and go back to my place. If you want.”

So I nod and go to the video store. It isn’t very busy on such a nice day and the girl behind the counter flips through a magazine while blowing bubbles with her gum. She looked up when we walked in, a bored look in her black-rimmed eyes. She blows a large bubble and it pops with a smack. Cooper grees her but she just goes back to reading her magazine.

“What are you into?” he asks as we scale the outside edge of the store where all the new releases are.

“Oh, you know,” I say, strolling up to the wall and grabbing the first DVD I see. “I like everything.” The movie I happened to pick is one of the more risqué ones. Lesbian risqué. The cover is a picture of two naked girls pressed together.

Cooper’s eyebrows go up and he grins. “I see that.” I hastily put the movie back on the shelf. “So, tell me about yourself.”

“Well,” I say, “I really, really love my dog. And I like to make guys gay.”

He rolls his eyes. “I mean something that’s true,” he says. “Where’s your brother been? I haven’t seen him around in a while.”

The subject of Colin isn’t one that I want to get into. I don’t like talking to anyone about him let alone Cooper, someone I barely know. I know him only as my neighbor or as Kelly’s ex-boyfriend. I mean, we went on like one double date before Tate came in and screwed everything up for them. And then Kelly decided that she didn’t like high school guys anymore. She liked dads. Gross.

“Um,” I say, “He’s just been doing a lot of reading. Doesn’t get out much.” The lie feels fake but Cooper doesn’t push it. We approach the T section and Cooper picks up a movie with Reese Witherspoon on the cover. She’s flanked by two good looking guys. It screams romantic comedy.

Cooper holds out the movie. “This sound okay?” he asks.

I take the movie. This Means War. I don’t really care what we watch so I nod and say it’s fine. “I didn’t peg you for a guy who likes RomComs,” I tell him as we walk to the front desk. The girl looks kind of pissed that we’re interrupting her precious reading time. I notice that she’s reading a Cosmo. The article that’s open is one all about kinky sex. The inspiration is from that new book, Fifty Shades of Grey. I haven’t read it but I’ve heard it takes BDSM to a whole new level.

“I’m a man of different tastes,” he says and winks.

“I hope that doesn’t mean you want to taste guys.”

He laughs again. “EJ, I promise you that I’ve never been gay nor will I ever be gay. And seeing you does not make me want to become gay.” He pushes a piece of my hair away from my face. “And even though you’re ridiculously sunburnt, I still think you’re pretty.” His thumb sort of strokes my cheek for a moment but then the cashier clears her throat. Cooper pays the girl and she goes back to researching naughty sex moves. I can only hope she looks more exciting during the actual sex.

We walk back to Cooper’s house. Kelly and my dad are sitting on the porch. She watches me go into Cooper’s house and I feel a sense of satisfaction. It’s not quite on the same level of sleeping with your best friend’s dad but it’s something. Baby steps.

Cooper makes some lemonade that’s really sour. He seems to think it’s fine but I choke it down little by little as we watch spies fight over a pretty girl. It’s cute but I think it’s ridiculous how they let some girl get in the way of their friendship. That makes me think of Kelly, too. How we let a guy get in the way of our friendship. But I think that if the guy is your dad you have a right to get upset and stop all relations with father-fucking whores. But that’s just my opinion.

After the movie is over, I ask Cooper if I can crawl out his window.

“Why don’t you just use the door?” he asks.

“Because Kelly and my dad might see me,” I explain, “and I really don’t want to deal with them right now.”

“Well, okay then.”

Cooper takes me into his kitchen and lifts the window. I left mine cracked so I jump out of Cooper’s window and open mine a little more. I hoist myself up so I’m sitting on the sill and then I look back at Cooper.

“Thank you for, you know, taking me out. I had fun.” I smile to reinforce my declaration of fun. Cooper smiles back and says goodbye. Just like a good date, he waits until I’m all the way inside my room and have closed my window. Then he waves and I wave back and he disappears into the bowels of his house. I close my curtains to give myself some more privacy. Then I sit down on my bed and I smile.