It Matters Not

{Just a little note before you start reading: At the point in time when a * appears, this is the song that Tamaki is playing: Elegia for Piano.

The illegitimate son. The title haunted him and mixed emotions stirred within him every time he dwelled on this fact. He was upset with the current tension and distance between himself and his family. But he was not ashamed of his Father’s choices; after all he would not be if it were not for those decisions.

Above all, both his Mother and Father loved each other, even if they could not be. That much he knew. That much he was sure of.

But even so, he could not help but harbor guarded feelings towards his Father. His name was René Tamaki Richard de Grandtaine after all. Despite what his school records may say, he was in fact not a Suoh.

And as long as his Grandmother was still alive, he would always be a level below everyone else. No mater if he was called Tamaki Suoh or not.

“I thought I would find you here,” a cool voice quietly stated. “René.”

The blonde turned. Kyouya stood a good distance from where he was seated. His hands tightened on the stone bench beneath him. He turned back to gaze at the garden before him. He had not heard his name said aloud in so long. The French name sounded odd and foreign on Kyouya’s tongue.

Neither boy moved from their spots. René felt like crying.

Kyouya sat in the backseat of the car, watching the familiar scenery pass by in disinterest. The sun was just rising above the horizon, bright and ready for the long day.

Today was the day.

Tachibana joined him this time and even prayed with him. Kyouya didn’t feel any relief this time. He didn’t really expect anything different given the day.

René liked arriving early to school, unlike the majority of the student body. The second estate was rather dull and boring to the teenage boy. The gardens only offered so much entertainment and it was best if he avoided his maid, an elderly woman who was rather strict. The second estate was only occupied by himself and the staff, most of which did not socialize with him upon orders from his Grandmother.

The Host Club, that was his family, his real family. There he had a wife, children and extended family to which he was the head of. And their elaborate home was Ouran High, specifically the Third Music Room.

And that’s where René could be found. The tall teen was seated at the grand piano, the only thing not out of place in the so called Music Room. He played a slow sad tune* that tugged at the corners of his lips and sent an ache through his body. That ache was released from his fingertips that danced over the ivory keys.

But he didn’t feel any better, even after playing the song several times.

The door was ajar.

A tall black haired boy stood in the doorway. His glasses did little to hide his eyes from the dark room, but he wasn’t trying to hide, not this time. Today was the day, after all.

This was the third time René’s playing brought tears to his cool eyes.

“Suoh, please pay attention!” their English teacher reprimanded in the foreign language. The blond didn’t respond, instead keeping his unfocused gaze out the window. Kyouya observed the boy beside him with careful eyes. His lips were down just the slightest, almost unnoticeable bit, which made Kyouya himself frown and look away after nudging him gently.

Today was the day, after all.

René couldn’t keep his mind off the past. He felt in a daze the entire day. He couldn’t remember what classes he’d been to, what his homework for the day was, who had spoken to him or what he’d said, and he definitely didn’t remember exiting the school until he found himself underneath a cherry tree in the Ouran Gardens. He’d skipped the host club once again.

But Kyouya was there, ahead of him a few paces knelling underneath another tree with his head bowed. His own words, from just the other day, echoed throughout his head, reminding him.

He knew Kyouya knew he was there, but neither moved or said anything. René let tears well up in his eyes and fall. How could this be so difficult? Both boys knew nothing would come out of this, nothing could. There was so much to loose, even that which had not been gained yet.

The voices of other students leaving the grounds began to fade into a calm silence. It left both boys with nothing to distract them from their own thoughts.

“Tamaki,” Kyouya began, his voice broken.

Tamaki took a step towards his best friend, his heart constricting in his chest.

”We can’t, Kyouya. You can’t.”

“I know…” Kyouya said with a whisper, lowering his head and fidgeting with the corner of his blazer. He took a deep breath, held it and let it out slowly, trying to calm his emotions. “But I’ll never exceed his expectations, you know this.”

“That doesn’t mean you should just give up!” Tamaki lashed out, angry suddenly. “Just because he doesn’t value you, doesn’t mean you aren’t valuable!”

“You don’t understand. You never will, Suoh.” Kyouya raised his head, his own anger bubbling over. “You’ve got your Fathers Company being handed to you on a silver platter!”

“That doesn’t matter. I don’t care about his Company!” Tamaki balled his hands into fists.

“You should!” Kyouya wanted to scream, to punch the idiot standing in front of him. He at least had a chance. “At least your Grandmother can forgive your Father enough to bring you here and help your Mother despite her displeasure. You have a chance now!”

“And so do you!” Tamaki advanced on the dark haired teen.

“How!? Please explain to me what chance I have, Suoh!”

“I am not a Suoh, for God’s sake!”

Kyouya was silent, taken aback by Tamaki’s exclamation. He had never realized it bugged Tamaki that much.

After a long silence, Tamaki said, “I think it’s best if we are no longer friends. The Host Club will remain, as a formality, until the end of the year.” He didn’t look Kyouya in the eyes as his spoke. The blond turned and quickly walked away from the baffled teen.

“We can’t.”

“Why?” Kyouya turned towards Tamaki with tears. “Why does it matter?”

René almost took a step back from the look in Kyouya’s eyes. He’d figured it out. He’d realized that he didn’t need his Father’s approval.

“It doesn’t.”

Kyouya felt a swirl of emotions. Was Tamaki accepting his offer?

“You do not need to be an Ootori, just like I don’t need to be a Suoh.” Tamaki sat beside Kyouya. “You are Kyouya and I am René. That should be enough.”

Kyouya briefly wondered if he’d talked to Haruhi before coming to the garden. This was not something Tamaki would normally say on his own.

“Didn’t our Mother’s teach us that much?”

No, this was forgiveness. For both of them. Kyouya smiled and grabbed Tamaki’s hand. Sadness swirled within him. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to cry. René squeezed his hand.

Both knew deep down, that they would have to wait. Nothing good would come of them just yet. Someday, maybe.

But today was the day that they both had lost their Mothers.

It was also the day that they had found their own destinies.

Because it didn’t matter if they were born as the third son who would inherit little to no title or if they were conceived illegitimately, all that mattered was what they made of themselves.

And they would do it together, when the time came, because this was just the beginning.