No One Does It Better

The hot water hit my back violently as my head rested on my knees. I had been in this position for at least an hour now; curled up in a ball on the floor of the shower. My breathing was heavy and my sobbing was becoming louder.

I didn’t understand what was happening. Everything was okay between Jake and I but as soon as I saw that ring my stomach dropped and instinct took over. I had to leave and be alone.

Jake rang me at least 20 times after I left… I never picked up. He left me around 10 text messages, all along the lines of ‘I’m sorry, please pick up, just answer me, where are you?’
They all were left un-answered as well.

I had to figure out what I wanted to say to him before I said it… And then Mike rang. I picked up as soon as I saw his name on caller I.D. I hadn’t heard his raspy voice for so long

Him coming here was probably a bad idea, but I needed someone who wasn’t Jake around… Unless he told Jake where I was…

---

I sat in the centre of the old couch in my Dad’s living room. I stared blankly at the clock in front of me as the ticking echoed through the vaguely empty house. My eyes wandered to my ring finger.

What if I said yes and there was a ring sitting on this finger? What if Jake refused to have the church wedding that I’ve always wanted?

I was shaken out of my overwhelming thoughts when I heard a knock at the door. I got up slowly walking towards the door. I stood behind the door staring directly at it.
Was it Mike? Or was it Jake?

I stood in silence as they continued to bang on the door. Each bang making me more on edge.

“Jessie! You there?” I heard their voice boom. I smiled internally as I reached for the door handle pulling it towards myself to reveal a lanky, tattooed man with a smile of relief on his face.
I instantly threw myself into his arms bursting into tears.
“Don’t cry, beautiful. It’s okay.” Mike whispered in my ears as he held me tightly.

---

Mike walked into the living room with a mug in each of his hands. He handed a mug down to me, the smell of coffee hit my nostrils instantly calming me down. I looked over at Mike as he sat down beside me, placing his cup on the table. I watched him as he turned his stance to face me. As soon as his eyes met mine I could feel myself wanting to cry again.

“So do you want to talk about what happened with Jake?” Mike asked.
I swallowed the lump in my throat before taking a deep breath.
“I don’t know what came over me” I said quietly making myself feel small. Mike watched me waiting for me to continue talking.

“He asked me to marry him and all of a sudden I felt so different. I felt uncomfortable and everything changed.” I choked out.
Mike looked slightly confused. “What changed?”

“My feelings towards him…” I whispered. “…and towards you.”
Mike placed his hand supportively on my knee.
“What do you mean?” He asked
“All of a sudden all these thoughts of Jake and I being married and having a family seemed like such a depressing thought. I started to get scared, like if I didn’t get out of that room I was going to be trapped into that relationship forever.” I spoke truthfully as Mike stared intently at me.

“What about me?” Mike asked awkwardly. “You said things changed towards me…”
I nodded my head as I tried to force a laugh which came out sounding more like a sob.
“While I was driving here I had a really long time to think.” I spoke moving my gaze away from Mike. “I realised how I was a different person with you. With Jake, he took control and I just followed behind him, but when I’m with you it’s like I have this new found confidence and I get this really weird feeling like… I don’t know… like I’m happy.” I spoke getting quieter and quieter, my gaze still avoiding Mike’s.

Tears were starting to well up in my eyes. I felt Mike shift in his seat and place his hand on my cheek forcing me to look at him.
“Jessie, you’re not forced to be with Jake. You’re allowed to choose how you want to live your life.” He spoke.

“But Jake has always been so sweet to me.” I said sadly in his defence.
“Just because he is nice doesn’t mean you are forced to love him. That’s not how it works.” He said rubbing his thumb over the tears that made their way down my cheeks.
I observed the look Mike was giving me. He seemed so desperately hopeful to prove to me that was different.

“Why does this have to be so hard?” I thought aloud.
“What is it that’s so hard?” Mike asked.

I looked down at Mike’s tattooed hand that was resting on my knee.
“Being in love with the wrong person.” I said looking up at him.
Mike looked at me knowing exactly what I meant.
“Who said there was a right or wrong person for everyone?” He said as he moved his hand over to mine lacing our fingers.
“You really hurt me though Mike, doesn’t that make you the wrong person?” I asked as my voice shook.

“I know I did, and I will forever hate myself for that… but I’ll change for you Jessie, I can make myself the right person for you.” His voice sounded like it was almost pleading to me.
“No” I stated bluntly. “Mike I don’t want to you to change.”

“I just want you to forgive me Jessie.” He said softly. I watched his face as it stared sadly back at me.

“I forgave you a long time ago Mike. I knew ages ago that I wasn’t mad any more… I was trying to convince myself to hate you to make things easier but deep down I knew that there wasn’t a thing on this earth that you could do to make me hate you.” I spoke truthfully

Mike moved forward connecting his lips to mine. Silent tears fell from my eyes as we moved deeper into the kiss. My hands clinging desperately on to his shirt as his hands clung hard to my hips keeping me in place. I could feel his heart beating against my hand as his tongue slid delicately across my lower lip. His hand brushed through my hair as he pulled away leaving a kiss on the crown of my head.

My head fell into his chest as I started crying violently.
Mike rubbed his hand over my upper arm as I continued to cry.

“I love you Jessie. It fucking hurts.”