The Boy from New York City

Alexzander didn’t come to bed last night. I hadn’t seen him or even heard him since he left the room when Liam entered. And I couldn’t help but become very worried. We just had a conversation about getting through this together and now he ditches me.
I look around the room. It felt like yesterday I was jumping out my window. But it wasn’t it yesterday, it was a decade ago. The room looked no different at all, and Alexzander’s suit from last night was nowhere in sight. Which meant he really hadn’t stopped by the room at all. I crawl out of bed and get ready for the day. I already knew that Alexzander took the day off, but that doesn’t mean I know where he is. Alexzander and I may be close, but we’re not that close yet.

I decide not to worry about it. If he felt the need to have time alone then I would respect that. So even though this added to my plate of worries I decided to ignore it for the time being. Throughout the morning I surprisingly stayed calm. Everything Christmas seemed like a good distraction for me. Though it’s hard to go through the holidays with no family, this year was different. I had a family sort of and had a place to decorate for the holidays.

Mid-afternoon is when reality hit. I pretty much just fell to my bedroom floor and started crying. I had been alone in the house all day and something just wasn’t settling right for me. So many things were going through my mind on top of the already stressful situation of my missing parents. Maybe this is all a big stupid idea. I now know they’re alive, what else is there to it? Plus, I found my brother. And though he may not live up to the term, that’s still who he is. I could just break off the deal like Liam wants

I crawl into the little hideout in the closet, letting the memories take over for the time being. I don’t know how long I was in there before I heard voices in the hallway. “You need her right now just as much as she needs you.” I hear Liam tell Alexzander. The room after that stayed silent for a while.

“Why do you care? You despise her. You’re the one who wants me to break off the engagement.”

“You’re right, I do, and I have good reason to tell you that. But with that aside, you need to get through this together.”

I hear footsteps coming into the room, and then a crashing sound. “Where the hell is she!” Alexzander screams, I assume at Liam.

“Why would I know? She’s your girlfriend.”

I stay in the hideout, silently sobbing. The yelling and crashing only made my memories worse, it made everything worse. The door slams, making me sigh in relief as the noise faded. “Samantha, I know where you are, so either come out or I’ll pull you out.” Liam says, standing close to where I was. I continue to cry as I crawl out of the space. Liam stands in front of me, blocking the view of the window we once jumped out of. “Come on, Alex needs to know you’re okay.”

“No! You were right, he doesn’t care about me. So please, just let me go back to the hideout. He’s been ignoring me so he won’t even notice.” Liam’s eyes flashed behind me before looking back at my own. “Please Liam, just let me go. I’ll even end everything if you just let me go.” He loosened his grip on me but didn’t fully let go. A look of panic flashed through his face as if I would do something to harm him.

“What exactly does she mean by ‘you were right,’?” I turn to see Alexzander standing in the doorway of our room, his arms crossed and a look of anger in his eyes.

Liam completely lets go of me and takes a step back, “I just-”

“You just what? I was fine with you being against this, I didn’t even care about you telling me you were against this. But to go to my girlfriend and try to convince her that I don’t care about her, that’s a whole new level.” He walked towards Liam and it was quite obvious that Liam hadn’t seen Alexzander this anger before. Or at least he seemed pretty scared of him at the moment. “And I’m still trying to figure out why you would be against this whole thing in the first place. It’s not like you’re single, Sam is much younger than you, and in all honesty she’s not your type. So please enlighten me, why are you trying to stop my wedding?”

I knew the answer. I also knew Liam couldn’t say without letting both of our secrets out. He’d ruin his plan, whatever it was, along with mine. Alexzander’s look could make a bodybuilder scared though, and I could tell that Liam was close to caving in. He’d never been the best under pressure like this. The silence was definitely adding to the suspense. If Liam didn’t speak soon Alexzander was definitely going to do some harm. I couldn’t just stand and watch them fight. After all, one of them is my fiancé and the other is my brother.

I step between the two men and face Liam first. I could feel the anger coming off of Alexzander but forced myself to ignore it. “Go home Liam. Before something starts that’s going to make your kids ask questions. You can’t exactly say Uncle Alex beat you up. So just go home.”

“But-” He starts, trying to come up with some excuse.

“Your family is more important than some stupid fight with your best friend.” I could see it in his eyes that the real reason he didn’t want to leave was because of me. I’m sure at this point he didn’t exactly trust Alexzander to control his anger any longer, “I’ll be fine. Alexzander would never hurt me. So just head out now before I change my mind and let him beat the crap out of you.” With my last sentence, Liam walks out of the room and a moment later we hear the front door close. Alexzander obviously wanted to chase him down but I grabbed onto him to make sure that wouldn’t happen.

“Why did you let him go?”

”because he’s not worth it. At least not right now.” I tug on his arm, “come on, let’s go eat some lunch and talk things over.”

He stops me, “I don’t really feel like talking yet.”

His words surprised me a bit since we’ve been fairly open with each other. I mean there is really one secret and one secret only that he doesn’t know about me. So the fact that he doesn’t feel like talking isn’t something that has come up yet. “Okay, let’s just go eat some lunch.” He didn’t move as I pulled him along, causing me to stop once again and turn to face him, “now what?”

Alexzander wouldn’t meet my eyes. He looked down at our interlocked hands and sighed, “I’m not hungry either.” I pull hard on his arm and drag him out of the bedroom to continue the discussion in the hall. “Um, why did you move us out here?”

“Because my parents always taught us that a couple should never fight in the bedroom. The bedroom is a peaceful common area and the feeling of anger and hostility shouldn’t be in the air.” I explain quickly. “Moving on, you are going to go down and eat lunch with me. I don’t care if you’re mad at me.”

Finally he looks up at me, “I’m not mad at you. I just need some time alone.”

“Not to sound like a bitch or anything, but isn’t that what you did all of last night?”

“Please Sam, I figured if anyone would understand, you would.”

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. He was right, I should understand. I do understand. But that didn’t change the fact that I needed him right now. “I do understand Alexzander. It’s just you left kind of suddenly last night and I can’t help but wonder what I did.”

“You didn’t do anything. I guess I’m just not used to having someone to lean on through these days.”

“Though I really hate the guy, Liam was right when he said we need to get through this together. Me hiding out in the closet and you avoiding common areas of the house isn’t going to help either of us.”

“I know.” There was a short pause where I could tell he was thinking things over. “Let’s go grab some lunch. I know for sure that I’m hungry.”
I laugh following him down to the kitchen, “that’s because you’ve avoided this area like it’s infected.”

“Sorry about that.” I shrug and grab an apple from the bowl to cut up, “really Sam, I’ve been acting weird lately.”

“I’ve noticed. But then again, so have I.” I glance over at him and watch as he makes both of us a sandwich. After finishing up lunch we just sat there having simple conversation of how the years prior to this they have done it and trying to work out some mutual thing that will be best for the both of us.

“Why did you leave last night?” I blurt out shocking myself and Alexzander. “I’m sorry that just came out. Don’t worry about it.”

“Does that mean you don’t want to know?”

“NO! I mean- yes- It’s not really any of my business.”

“It is your business. Why would you think otherwise? It has everything to do with you. With us”

“Well I wouldn’t know that, would I? Since you left and have been ignoring me.”

Alexzander sets down our plates and looks across the table at me, “I’ve only been ignoring you so that I can figure things out.”

I take a bite and hesitate on asking the inevitable question. “What things?”

“Feelings.” I was actually slightly surprised he was so honest about it and I didn’t exactly know how to respond. “You remind me so much of Samantha Charleston. To the point of me thinking of her when I kissed you last night. Everything you do makes me think of her. How outspoken you are and just all around a smartass. It’s exactly how she would be if she was around. And it’s not fair to you or me if I’m thinking about her throughout this relationship. Whether it’s fake or not.”

I took a few deep breaths before I could speak. Tears were threatening to escape but I knew I couldn’t let them fall. That would give away everything I’ve worked so hard to keep a secret. “I already told you, you can be with whomever and think whatever. This is just a business deal Alexzander, nothing more than that.”

I could see the hurt in his eyes as I said this but it was the truth that we both had to accept. “No.”

“No?”

“That may be how it started but that’s not where our relationship is at now. You may remind me a lot of her, but it’s you I love. It’s you I fall more in love with each day, not her.” I was speechless, seriously, did that just happen? “Oh come on Sam! It was obvious. How could you not tell?”

“It’s my first relationship! I’m sorry I didn’t catch onto things quickly. Plus I just thought it was all practice to make the acting seem more natural.”

“Is that all it was to you? Practice and acting?”

“No! That’s not what I said. But that’s what I thought was going on. And it seemed like every time I started to believe that our feelings were more than just acting, there was always someone around to tell me it was all a charade.”

“Liam?” he growls, obviously still angry at his best friend.

“Among others. But even with their words that didn’t stop my feelings from being true. They could convince me that you didn’t care about me, but they couldn’t tell me I didn’t care about you. Last night proved that to myself. Every time I woke up and you weren’t there I was worried. I even tried looking for you a couple times but gave up and decided you’d come to bed when you were ready to”.

Alexzander kneels in front of me so that about the same height. “Ever since you walked up and stopped me from buying drugs, I knew that you would become an important part of my life. When I saw you on the streets it took me about ten minutes to work of the courage to go up and talk to you. And every day since I have come to terms that I need you and you need me. And even if that’s not love, it’s a pretty special relationship.” This time, the tears that were falling down my cheek were tears of happiness. Everything seemed to be working out for once in my life. “Now, why did you keep waking up last night?” He asks, pulling back a bit from the hold he had on me.

“Nightmares.”

“You’ve never had nightmares when we’re in bed together.” I give him a blank stare in response because I knew he was smarter than that. “Right, I wasn’t in bed last night. Does that mean they happened before?”

I nod, “I’ve been having nightmares for about twelve years now. “

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I can’t. Not with you at least.”

“Oh. Okay. Would you, um, want to go to a psychologist?”

“Um. That could work. Maybe. But it’s also fine as long as you’re in bed.”

Alexzander laughs at that, “sorry to break it to you hun, but I will be having business trips to attend to. And don’t worry too much about them; I already made it clear that I wouldn’t be gone for more than three days at a time. I will not under any circumstances turn into my dad.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer so that his lips are not quite touching my own. “We’ve already been over this. You are not your father and you will never become your father.” I lean forward and press my lips against his, trying to show all my feelings through this one kiss. “I love you for you. And I definitely don’t love your father. So we’re going to end up with some problems if you start acting like him.”

Alexzander laughs and pulls me back down for a kiss, “I love you too.”
This time though, I knew both of us were being completely honest with our words.