Kickstart My Heart

It was a warm day, the sun was shining and as I
looked out of my bedroom window, I decided
to take a walk.

I put on my Chucks, grabbed my sunglasses and
keys and then closed the door behind me.

I had my iPod in my pocket, as usual and started
blasting the music. I put it on shuffle,
for some variation and then put it back in my pocket.

I knew where my feet were taking me so I
shut my thoughts off, just listening to the music
through my headphones.

I was softly singing to the songs as well, sometimes
imagining myself doing a full on performance
on the street.
I smiled to myself, feeling retared for imagining
things like that.

I took the last right corner and I hit someone.
I felt myself fall but a pair of strong hands
grabbed both of my arms and held me up.

"Shit! Sorry about that!"
the man said.

I was still shocked, my mouth opened in some
sort of silent scream.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I didn't really
think about where I was going."
the man said, while I was finally able to
close my mouth and stand up normally.

"No, it's fine. I wasn't looking where I was
going, either."
I said, looking at the man in surprise.
"Brian?"

He looked at me for a few seconds before a
look of recognition appeared on his face.
"Dawn?"

"Yeah, it's me. Wow. You've.. grown."
I said, not really coming up with the right word.

"I hope so, after 10 years. How have you been?"
he asked, with a smile.

"Yeah, I've been.. fine. You? Living the life,
I'd imagine."
I'd dropped my headphones to my neck and paused my
iPod when I saw it was Brian.

"Yeah, things have been pretty great. Traveling the
world and all."
he replied, shrugging a bit.

"God, that sounds so awesome. I never got out of
Huntington, really."
I said, smiling a bit.

"Yeah, my dad told me he saw you every now and then.
You look really good, Dawn."
he said, shaking his head a little.
"I almost didn't recognize you."

"I get that sometimes. All I did was dye my hair
and get some sense of what to wear and what
not to wear."
I replied, shrugging it off.

"It looks good on you."
he said, before looking at his phone.
"I'm supposed to be somewhere, actually..
But that can wait. Wanna grab a coffee or something?"

"I was gonna take a walk to the beach. You can come with,
if you like?"
I asked, looking at the water.

"Yeah, sounds great. I'm up for a little walk."
he said, turning around and walking
towards the beach with me.

"So how has the last 10 years been for you?"
I asked, feeling comfortable in his presence immediatly.

He had been my neighbour for 18 years so it wasn't
a big surprise. We hardly talked back then but we were
always kind towards each other, even though we were
complete opposites.

He was the dark, mysterious type. I was the girl
who never did anything wrong at school, skipped a class once
and always had my assignments done. Not that I was a
'nerd' or anything like it. I just wanted to have my stuff done
and save myself the trouble of detention.

I was often the girl to pick on but Brian and his friends stood
up for me once. After that, everyone was afraid to pick on
me so my high school went by without much hassle.

"Well, the band got big. The guys and I got lucky and.."
he said but I interrupted him.

"Don't forget the fact that you guys are awesome. That
is a contributing factor. Go on."
I said, like it was obvious.
Which it really was.

"Thanks. You like us?"
Brian asked, while we entered the beach.

"I do, actually. I have all your albums.
Though I do like the songs where Matt sings a little
better. I'm not a die hard scream slash grunt fan. But
I love you guys a whole lot. I went to one of your
shows a few years back. I had such a blast."
I said, while getting out of my chucks and socks.

"You should've come up to us!"
Brian said, while holding my hand, trying to
make me stay up.

"And get lost in all the fangirls and guys?"
I asked, letting go of Brian's hand.
"Thanks. I seriously have some balancing problems."

"No problem. And point taken. It does get a little
overwhelming sometimes."
Brian said, while we started walking again.

"I could imagine."
I replied, thinking of what it would be like if thousands
of people were trying to get a glimpse of you.
"Scratch that, I don't think I can."

Brian laughed and shook his head.
"If you could see what it looks like on the stage, though..
It makes up for everything. It's the best feeling."

I looked at him and saw the smile on his face.
Seeing he loved what he did for a living only made me
feel a little bitter.

My life didn't go the way I had planned it and I still wasn't
sure where I was going.

"How about you? Still with what's his name?"
Brian asked, sitting down.

"Nope, that was over the minute he went to college.
He needed to 'be free to explore' if you catch my
drift. How did you know I was going to sit here?"
I asked, sitting down next to him.

"This always used to be your spot. I figured it
still was and I'm right."
he replied, smiling at me.

"You actually remembered that? Wow."
I replied, putting my Chucks in the sand next
to me and taking off my vest.

"Hey, you've got ink."
Brian said, smiling.

"Yeah. Not as much as you though. Hardly.
Just the two."
I said, smiling at him.

"When did you get them?"
he asked, holding out his hand.
"Can I look a little closer?"

I nodded and placed my arm in his hand and shuffled
a bit so I was a little more comfortable.
"I got the star done for my 18th birthday. A gift
from my parents. And the arrow and waves when I was
21. The arrow is for my dad, he's a Sagittatrius and the waves
for my mom, she's an Aquarius."

"They look good, still. For the amount of years they've been
on you, I mean."
he said, releasing my arm.

"I think so, too. Yours are brutal, though. I wish I had the
guts for something as big as yours but I'm a chickenshit."
I said, what made Brian laugh.
"So how about you? Found your soulmate?"

"Nope. I was with this girl from school for a few years
but it didn't really work out. You probably know her."
he said, staring at the ocean.

"Michelle, sister of Val Sanders. Yeah, I know her.
How's Matt and Val by the way? Still going strong?"
I asked, knowing they'd stay together forever.

"Yup, there's no breaking those two."
Brian said, with a smile.
"How'd you know about Michelle?"

"I read things. People tell me things. Your dad does.
For some reason he always mentions you when we
see each other."
I said, smiling at the thought of Brian Sr.

"Sounds like him, yeah."
he replied, toying around with the sand.

"He's proud of you, you know. He always gets this..
I dunno.. Sparkle in his eyes when he talks about you,
it's sweet."
I said, looking at Brian.

Brian looked at me as well and smiled.
Just smiled and didn't say anything.

Then he frowned.
"Is your iPod still on? I hear music."

I pulled my iPod out of my pocket and saw
I forgot to put it on 'lock'.

"Yup, it is."
I said, shutting it off.

"What were you listening to?"
Brian asked, looking at the screen.

I handed my iPod over and pulled the headphones
from my neck.

"See for yourself. Don't laugh, though.
I have all kinds of music on there, even boybands."
I admitted, smiling shyly.

"Music is very specific for everyone, I'd never
laugh at you for having Peter Andre on your iPod."
he said, smirking and waving with it.

"Mysterious Girl is a nice song. Shut up."
I said, smiling and feeling a little embarassed.

Then I heard a phone go off and I saw Brian sigh in
frustration.

"All I'm asking is one day off and they can't even give me that."
Brian said, about to pick up his phone.

I grabbed it and opened the phone.

"I'm sorry, Brian will be busy all day today. I'm
shutting his phone off now and you can reach him
when he texts or calls you. Sorry for the inconvenience."
I said, disconnecting the call and then shutting his phone off.

"There. You have a day off."
I said, smiling at him.

He looked at me shocked.
"You just blew off Matt."

I shrugged.
"You said you wanted a day off, now I got you one."

"They'll be so mad at me."
Brian said, just staring at his phone.

"You're grown men. I think you'll be able to talk it out.
And if you don't want to, power up your phone."
I said, sitting back, leaning on my elbows.

He looked like he was having an inner battle.

"Come on, Bri. You've been going at it for years with only
a few short breaks. You can take one, just one, day off.
You look like you could use it."
I said, sitting up again and looking at him.

I was glad I had sunglasses on so I could look at him
from head to toe.
He was even more handsome now he was older.

"But the album.."
he said, more to himself than to me.

"The album will get done. Besides, you have 5 guys in one band.
I'm sure they can shuffle a little with what to do."
I said.

He looked up at me and sighed.
"Okay. Fuck it."
He placed his phone in his pocket and exhaled.
"They'll be so pissed."

"Who cares, you get a carefree day off, my friend.
Got anything in mind you want to do?"
I asked, strething myself out.

"No idea."
he said, laughing a bit.

"Oh and no Guitar Hero for you. That doesn't count as a day
off. If you even have it."
I said, pointing my finger at him.

"I have it. But I promise I won't play."
Brian replied, smiling again.

"Wanna go for a swim?"
I asked, pulling of my tshirt and shorts.

"I don't have my shorts with me."
he said, frowning.

"So? Go in these."
I said, throwing my sunglasses on my clothes, along
with my iPod.

"What if they steal it?"
Brian asked, pulling his shirt off as well.

"I'll get a new one. I don't want to worry
too much about stuff like that. It's only plastic, really."
I said before running off to the water and diving in.

"Crap! Cold. Cold. COLD!"
I said, trying to adjust to the water.

Brian's head popped up close by me and I swam over to him.
"It's cold. Why did I want to do this again?"

"Because you're nuts, that's why."
Brian said, smiling at me.

"Wow, thanks. I could say the same for you. You jumped
in when you didn't even have your shorts with you!"
I said, mocking him a little.

"Oh shut up."
he said, rolling his eyes jokingly.

I laughed and then thought of something.
"You got your phone out of your shorts before
jumping in, right?"

His smirk wiped off of his face and my mouth fell open
before I started laughing.
"Smart move, Bri."

"Shit. Fuck. I knew I forgot something. I just took my
shirt off and ran after you without a second thought.
Goddamn it."
Brian said, shaking his head and swimming over to the shore.

I swam after him and when he sat down in the sand and pulled
out his phone, the water was running out of it.

"Yup. That's K.I.A. Wanna get a new one?"
I asked, while trying to get some water out of my hair.

"If you don't mind, yeah."
Brian said, while standing up.

He held his hand out for me so I grabbed it and he
helped me up.
"No problem, I felt like doing a little shopping anyway."

We walked over to our clothes and I saw everything
was still there.

"You can listen to my iPod if it makes you feel better."
I said, smiling.

"Shut up!"
Brian said while softly pushing me.

"Dude! Balance problem. You wanna see me flat on my ass,
embarassed and vengeful?"
I asked, trying to push him back.
He didn't budge.

"I'd like to see you vengeful. That'll be a change."
he said, while drying himself a little with his shirt.

"Mind if we stop by my house first? I need to get some clean,
dry clothes. And I could use something to drink."
he said, while throwing the shirt over his shoulder so it hung
there, loosily.

"Of course. I'm up for anything."
I said, grabbing my things and dressing myself with the clothes
I had with me.

"It's this way."
Brian said and started walking the right way.

I followed him silently, thinking of high school and
this day.

"So what did you do after high school?"
Brian asked, waiting for me to catch up.

We arrived at the pavement again so I had to put on my
Chucks.
I tied the laces before standing up again.
We started walking before I spoke up.

"Not much. I started college but never finished because
I didn't feel like it was what I wanted to do. So I got a job,
worked there for a few years, got another one and.. here I am.
That's pretty much it."
I said, shrugging it off.

"Eventful."
Brian said, jokingly.

"I know. It's so much better than what you're doing."
I joked with him and then snorting.

"That can't be it, though. What about best friends or boyfriends
or hobbies?"
he asked, frowning.

"I don't have alot of friends. There's Trish from work and Mel
from high school and that's pretty much it. I know people, but
they're not all friends. More.. Acquaintances. Besides, I lost alot of
friends after.. Something I did."
I said, not wanting to tell him much about it just yet.

I didn't want him to think less of me because of a decision
I made when I was 22.

"We all make mistakes. The ones who didn't accept your choices
or mistakes are hardly worthy of the word friend."
Brian said, shaking his head a little.

"I'm fine with it, though. I like being on my own."
I explained, following him towards the driveway of a house.
"Bri?"

"Hm?"
he just replied.

"Is this house yours?"
I asked, looking up at it.

"Yeah. Why?"
he asked, while opening the door.

"It's goddamn huge."
I said, in awe.

It really was a castle, compared to my little apartment.

Brian laughed and let me in before he walked in himself
and closed the door.

"You can sit down if you want, I'll be right back.
If you want something to drink; the kitchen is that way."
he said, pointing towards an opening and then running up
the stairs.

I thought about it and decided I was kind of thirsty so I
walked over to the fridge and opened it.

"Ice Tea. Yes."
I said and then I realized I had no idea where the glasses were.

I closed the fridge again and then looked around the kitchen
and saw a picture of Brian with a woman.
Walking closer, I saw it was him and Michelle in happier
times.

"There you are."
I heard behind me.

I turned around and smiled.
"Yeah, I found the ice tea but not the glasses and I'm not
one of those people who just open the cupboards."

"You're standing right in front of it, actually."
Brian said, while walking over to me and opening
the cupboard to reveal all kinds of glasses.

"Well, if I'd known.."
I trailed off and Brian smiled.

He grabbed two glasses, filled them with Ice Tea and handed one
to me.

"Thanks."
I said, before gulping it down.

"You have a nice kitchen. Use it often?"
I asked, smirking.

"For drinks, yeah. Food not so much. Not after Michelle
and I broke up."
he said, shrugging.

"You seemed happy with her. Well, in the picture, I mean."
I said, looking at it.

"I was. For the longest time. But then all of a sudden everything
changed. And we weren't anymore. We both decided that getting
married wasn't the right thing to do so we called everything off.
Including our relationship."
Brian explained, looking at the picture.

"How long ago was that?"
I asked, softly.

I knew what it was like to call everything off.

"About 8 months ago."
he said, sighing and walking over to the picture.
"Long enough to put this somewhere else."

He opened a drawer and placed the picture in before
closing it again.

"That actually feels good."
Brian said, after a few seconds.

"That probably means you're ready to move on.
Starting with a new phone."
I said, with a big smile.

"Right! Let's go."
he said, before walking over to me.
"But before we actually do, can I show you something?"

"Depends on what you wanna show me."
I said, shrugging.

"Wow. That actually sounded dirty. But it's nothing like
that, I promise."
he said with a smirk.

"Then yes, I would love to see it."
I said, and allowed Brian to grab my hand and pull me
towards the stairs.

"I have a room I want you to see."
he said, ascending the stairs.

"Is there a bed in it..?"
I asked, for fun.

"God, you really are dirty!"
Brian said, while laughing.

"When the occasion calls for it."
I replied, shaking my head.

What was I even doing?
I was actually trying to flirt with Brian.
Sighing, I decided not to do it anymore.
It wasn't going to work anyway, he got out of a relationship
only 8 months ago and I wasn't girlfriend material.

"Here it is. You ready?"
Brian asked.

I nodded and then he opened the door.
There were over 100 guitars in that room, if not more.

"Holy Jesus."
I said, my eyes wide.

"Cool, huh?"
he said, proudly.

"Definetely. These are actually all yours?"
I asked, facing him.

"Yup. Alot of collaberations between Schecter
and me, a few I actually bought. And the first one I ever owned.
Every single one is in here. Until we go on tour."
he said, looking at his guitars with pride.

"Wow. If you wanted to impress me, it worked.
Awesome. I can't play, of course. But awesome."
I said, looking at all the individual guitars.

"I thought you'd like it. You always listened to me play
back in high school."
he said, closing the door.

"Well, you were so good at it already, back then. It was
nice to listen to someone who actually knew how to use
an instrument, the way it was supposed to be used."
I said, following Brian downstairs again.

He hadn't let go of my hand for some reason and I
wasn't complaining.
He really was a nice guy, just like he used to be.
That was one thing he never changed, what made me admire
him. After everything, he was still a guy with
a good heart.

"We should probably find you a phone now."
I said, when he walked into the kitchen again.
"Is it okay if I leave my iPod here? I don't feel like taking
it with me."

"Sure, no problem."
Brian said, drinking some more Ice Tea before walking over
to the door, with me right behind him.

"Walk or drive?"
he asked, while closing the door.

"I don't mind walking. It's a nice day. But if you wanna drive,
that's fine."
I replied, putting my sunglasses on.

"We'll walk. I always drive, it's good to walk sometimes."
Brian said, walking off towards the shopping mall.