Goody Two-Shoes

“Ryan,” my voice cracked. This was the last thing I wanted, expecially right after talking about everything with my mother. I wasn't supposed to see Ryan or Bam until the funeral. I didn't want to see them period.

But Ryan was standing in front of me. Both of us stared each other down for what seemed like hours. Neither of us knew what to say.

“Hey Red,” When his nickname for me rolled off his lips life I forgot everything my head was telling me and ran for him. My arms latched around his neck, my face pushing into his shoulder as hot tears began to leak from my eyes. Ryan's arms engulfed me in a protective hold, something he used to always do when I came running to him back in the day. It was so warm, so inviting, even after all these years, just like I remembered it.

I would regret this later, I would regret letting all these feelings resurface but I couldn't handle any of this anymore. It was already becoming to much and seeing Ryan, being here with him helped me forget the rest of shit going on. Even if it was just for a second.

“He's gone Ryan,” I gasped, my sobs becoming uncontrollable, I could barley breath. I didn't want this to happen, I didn't want to break down like this but seeing Ryan brought back everything I had left behind. It reminded me of the nights I ran to him upset. I would cry and Ryan pulled me closer to him because Ryan Dunn was my best friend, one of the very few to actually care about me.

He was always that friend I could depend on, through thick and thin. Whenever something went to hell, he was the first person I would tell.

We stood like this, our arms holding on for dear life for what seemed like hours but was merely a couple of minutes.

Rori came forward, tugging at my shirt, “Mommy, are you okay?” I pried myself from Ryan to look down at her, tear's staining my cheeks.

“Yeah Rori, Mommy's okay.” She lifted her arms and I picked her up, pulling her into a tight hug, her small arms latching around my neck. “Mommy's okay baby,” I tried to reassure her, but I was sure she knew better.

“Don't cry no more,” Rori begged and I nodded my head. “I don't like it when your sad.”

“I'm sorry honey.”

“It's okay.” I placed a quick kiss on her cheek before putting her back down on her feet, quickly whipping my face clean of the tears.

“Rori, why don't we go outside and play for a little bit?” April asked, probably thinking Ryan and I needed time to ourselves.

“Okay!” Rori ran over to April. I watched the two of them walk out of the house through the back door, leaving Ryan and myself alone.

“Does Bam know?” I broke the silence first, looking up to meet Ryan's eyes.

“About what? That your dad died? The fact that your here?! That you have a daughter?!” The last two questions came out bitter and I put my hand on my forehead, trying to calm all my rushing thoughts. This was gonna be another long day.

“I didn't ask for this Ryan,” I stated, my eyes going to the floor.

“Well you sure as hell had no problem leaving without telling a fucking soul. God damn it Ashton, not a day goes by that Bam and I don't fucking think of you. We looked for so fucking long, we never stopped looking! We thought you were dead!” Ryan's anger level had gone from a zero to an eight in seconds. He was always quick tempered expecially when he had a reason to be angry.

“I need a beer,” I muttered, walking toward the fridge. I could feel Ryan's eyes follow me as I pulled open the door. “Want one?” I asked, grabbing two and holding one out to him. He looked between the beer and I for a few seconds before pulling it from my hand, twisting the glass bottle open with ease.

I walked around to the counter, sitting on one of the stools, twisting the top off with just as much as ease as Dunn. I brought the bottle up to my lips, taking a large swig out of it before setting it down on the counter. Ryan watched me, his anger seeming to rise more and more as the seconds past.

“So, what do you want to know first?” I asked, meeting his angry eyes.

“How about why the fuck you had April hide the fact that you were here from us!?”

“Because, I knew this was going to happen.” I paused, “I planned on leaving this morning but that didn't happen because.......well you already know that part...I wanted this trip to go smoothly, I didn't want drama. I wanted to get right back to my life. I didn't want to come here and explain myself to your or Bam.”

“You left, for six years,” Ryan paused, “six fucking years Ashton! I think we at least deserved some sort of FUCKING EXPLANTATION!” I cringed, nerves began filling my stomach and panic was starting to coarse through my veins. My fingers shakily reached for my beer, grasping it and pulling it to my lips.

“Will you stop?!” Ryan pulled the beer from my lips, causing it to spill a little bit onto my lap. “What happened to you? Jesus Christ! When did you start drinking!? When did you have a kid Ashton? When did that sweet girl I knew as a teenager grow into a bitch?” I was pretty sure Ryan finally hit a ten, I don't think I had ever pissed of Ryan enough to get to a ten. If I wasn't a girl Dunn would have probably punched me in the face just now. My stomach turned a little bit, I was feeling sick. Which wasn't a good thing. Whenever I started feeling like this, which was starting to happen very often, my first reaction was to go for booze, for pills, for anything that would make it go away and Ryan just took that escape away from me.

“After I had Rori,” I answered honestly, digging into my purse for my pack of cigarettes. The pack was half gone already and I had just started up again last night. I felt guilty as I pulled the white stick to my lips and lit it, Ryan's eyes watching me carefully.

“You smoke too?” I took a deep drag of the cigarette, pulling it from my lips and blowing out smoke, my muscles suddenly relaxing.

“I quit actually when the doctors told me Rori had asthma....but coming back here drove me to start again.” I stood up, pulling the stick back to my mouth and taking another long drag. I walked over to the kitchen table where an ashtray sat and put it out. I never finished a cigarette, I just needed enough to get my brain relaxed again.

“Why'd you leave Ashton?” Ryan asked, I turned to face him, leaning against the kitchen table. He was staring me down like a father who just busted their kid. It wasn't something I was used to seeing from Ryan, seeing as it was normally me who was trying to be the adult. I tried to tell myself that Ryan had grown up in these six years but I didn't believe it, not in the slightest.

“Because of that little girl outside playing with April,” Ryan's eyes widened, Rori may have been six but she only looked like she was four. Ryan had probably thought I had left and than got pregnant. Rori was small for her age, most people didn't believe she was already six.

“You mean?” Ryan turned to look out the window, my eyes followed his. Rori was climbing in one of the tree's and April was yelling for her to get down. I sighed, going to the back door and pulling it open.

“Rori, get down NOW!” I yelled from the door, Rori looked up at me. From where I stood I could tell she was pouting. She quickly made her way down and April grabbed her once she was in arms reach. When Rori's feet touched the ground, Rori ran towards me.

Ryan stood beside me, watching the little girl. I looked up to meet his eyes and he smiled at me, it was a soft smile, almost apologetic or maybe even sympathetic.

“Mommy, Auntie April has really pretty flowers!” Rori pulled the one that was currently tucked into her ear and handed it to me. “I wish we had flowers.”

“I wished we did too baby.” I whispered, I could feel Ryan's eyes on me as I watched my fingers spin the flower, admiring it's beauty. “Mommy,” I pulled my eyes from the flower and looked at Rori, she motioned for me to come close, so I bent down. She cupped my ear with her hand and began to whisper in my ear. “What is the hairy guys name again?”

Ryan and I both started to chuckle, seeing as she said it loud enough for him to hear.

“It's Ryan, honey.” I said it out loud, causing her already rosy cheeks to flush with embarrassment.

“Do you have flowers too?” Ryan looked down at her, smiling big.

“Yeah, I do, but mine aren't nearly as pretty as Auntie Ape's.”

“Oh,” Rori turned back to me, “Mommy, can we come to Auntie Aprils more? I want to pick flowers more!” I frowned, guilt turning in my stomach.

“Sure honey,” The lie that rolled from my lips caused my throat to tighten. Rori yelped with glee before running back out to April. Rori would have been so happy here.

“She's cute,” Dunn muttered, “when I came over here earlier and I saw her, she was so happy to meet me. She kept asking me if I was one of Mommy's friends, though I had no idea who Mommy was. She made fun of my beard too, makes me think of all the times you begged me to shave it off” I laughed a little, leaning my body against the door frame, my eyes watching the little girl run about the yard. “When April told me she was yours, god, I just.....I felt stupid for not realizing it before. She looks just like you.”

“I get that a lot.” I mumbled, “I was so scared she would end up looking like her father.”

“Whose her Dad?” Ryan asked, I knew this question was probably on Ryan's mind for a long time now and I couldn't avoid giving him an answer. I looked away from Rori and turned to look at him, our eyes meeting.

“Adam Casey's.” Ryan's eyebrows tighten together and I stepped back from the door, closing it and returning my eyes to him.

“Bam told me that you guys......but....I didn't think that.......” Ryan looked like he was speechless, I just shook my head as if to silence him.

“The worst part about it Ryan.....I can't tell you how many times I screamed for help that night, how many times I said no. No one came and a week later I found out I was pregnant with her. Imagine my surprise.” I let out a small laugh, trying to keep myself from having a breakdown.

“You and Bam got into a fight that night, Bam thought it was his fault you skipped town. That party was the last time we saw you.....” I nodded, I remembered ignoring Bam that week. Back than I was convinced it was Bam's fault that Adam raped me. “I didn't know that Adam....I thought you wanted too.” I shook my head, as the memories of that night came flooding back.

“No Ryan but it didn't matter, Adam was captain of the football team, I didn't stand a chance once he got me alone.”

Ryan slammed his fist down on the table, causing me to jump. His eyes were staring at his feet and I could practically see the steam leaking from his ears.

“We should have killed that bastard!” I walked toward Ryan, bringing my hand up to cup his cheek, I forced his head up so he had to look at me. I didn't want Ryan to beat himself up over this, it wasn't his fault.

The minute his eyes met mine, I was sure he understood that. His eyes softened and I let my hand drop from his face, offering a sad smile.

“I can't tell you how hard it was to find a way to raise Rori. How much I cried the very first time Rori asked about her father.....” I paused, my eyes never leaving Ryan's, “I went through hell, trying to pay hospital bills on my own, trying to hold up an apartment, getting her to day care and to school. And everyday I feel guilty that I couldn't give Rori more, that I couldn't give her a loving family, a father, a home where we can plant flowers, somewhere she can go outside and I don't have to be scared of having her snatched away,” tears began to burn my eyes and I lifted my hands to my face, “but even after it all, after all the times I've wanted to give up, I can't because she's my daughter. I wouldn't change any of this even if I had a chance to re-live that night. I would have still gone to that party, I would have happily left this life behind again in a heartbeat. That little girl is the reason why I live Ryan. Rori is the best thing that has ever happened to me.” I whispered the last part and Ryan pulled me into a hug. I pulled my arms from my face and wrapped them around his neck. My face burring itself into his shoulder.

I heard the back door open again and I pulled away from Ryan, quickly whipping away the tears. I didn't want Rori see me crying anymore.

“Mommy, look! I picked you flowers!” Rori came running up with a bunch of bright yellow daffodils in her hand. I smiled, crouching down and taking them from her hands. I brought the flowers to my nose and let myself smile as the sweet scent filled my nose.

“They're beautiful Rori, thank you!” Rori gave me one of her big smiles and than looked up at Ryan, holding out her arms to him. Ryan laughed and picked her up with ease. She snuggled up to him, giggling as his beard brushed against her face.

“This is itchy!” Rori tugged at the blond hair on his face forcing Ryan to yelp in pain. I couldn't help but bust into fits of giggles.

“Hey monster, that hurts.” Ryan scolded and Rori's eyes got glassy.

“Oh, I'm sorry! Here! I'll kiss it and make it better!!” She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek, making a giant “MWUAH” sound as she pulled away.

“Ew, you have cooties!” Ryan fake cried, quickly whipping his cheeks and Rori giggled.

“No I don't! Only boys have cooties,” she defended, poking his cheek with his finger.

“Hey Ape, you up for watching Rori for the night? I think Ash and I have some more catching up to do.” Ryan stated, turning to look at April.

“OH! MOMMY! CAN I STAY WITH AUNTIE APRIL?!” My eyes landed on April, who looked over joyed by the idea of it.

“It's up to April....”

“Of coarse! I would LOVE to!” Rori struggled from Ryan's grip and he put her down. Rori ran to April, wrapping her arms around Ape's waste and smiling up at her.

“Yay! Auntie April and I are going to have lots of fun!!”

“How about we go get a drink?” I smiled at Ryan and nodded my head at the offer.

“Rori, honey, I'm going to leave for a little bit but I will be back in a couple of hours okay?”

“Okay mommy!” She pulled back from April and came over to me, giving me a quick hug and than kissing me on the cheek. “I love you mommy.”

“I love you baby.” We said goodbye to April and I asked Rori to be good and than followed Ryan out the door.

“I'll drive.” Ryan had an evil twinkle in his eye and I watched him walk up to his bike. He climbed on, and than patted the seat behind him.

“Coming?” He asked and I grabbed my head.

I'd been gone six years and still Ryan was insane as ever.

“If I eat a bug, you're dead.” I muttered, climbing in and latching my arms around his waste.