You Got Me Poppin Champagne

ALEX'S POV

"Right, you all set?"

Erin nodded at me, a brilliant smile lighting up er face. I couldn't help but smile back. She looked beautiful. i probably didn't tell her enough. Okay, so she wasn't exactly wearing anything special, just faded denim jeans and one of my tshirts she had somehow stretched over her bump. Guess I was fatter than I though if they fit her while she was pregnant. Of course I couldn't say that because she would probably kill me for insinuating she was fat.

She made for the door but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back to me. "Woah, where do you think you're going?"

Erin looked at me in confusion. "Uhm, the car...so we can go to your parents and see Jasey...cause it's christmas..."

"Yeah, but you can't go without a coat! You're freaking crazy if you think I'm gonna let you go outside in the cold."

Erin rolled her eyes at me. "Alex, I'm only gonna be walking to the car and getting out of it. And your parents always turn the heating up. I'll be fine."

I shook my head. "Nuhuh, not happening. Give me a minute." I turned and walked back upstairs, grabbing one of Erin's coats, and a hoodie for myself, then returned and presented her with the coat, putting it on for her. "There you go."

Erin smiled and kissed me sweetly before whispering "thank you," in my ear, making me want to lock the door and take her right back upstairs. But we had a daughter to get to.

ERIN'S POV

I was enjoying singing along to the christmas tunes on the radio, when a thought suddenly occurred to me.

"Hey, Alex?"

"Yeah?" he replied, eyes focused on the road, seen as he was driving.

"I missed your birthday...I...I mean, you turned 26...and I missed it, and it was kind of our anniversary I guess...I'm so sorry, Alex, I-"

"Hey, don't worry about it," he said, quickly squeezing my hand and shooting a dazzling smile at me. His tired weary eyes seemed a lot happier. Did everything really change in one night? Could everything change in one night? Maybe so. Maybe it didn't matter how long if you really were in love. Maybe that was a sign as if there was any doubt that we were most definitely meant to be together. "I turned a year older, big freaking deal. It just means that I'm closer to getting middle aged. As if me being married with a kid didn't already confirm that. My youth in number is all I have to hold onto to keep me feeling young, if I don't celebrate it means I don't have to admit I really am getting older. All I would have done would be to get wasted, and to be honest, I can get wasted plenty when I'm on tour, I'd rather hide that side of me from our kids. Jasey and I were just fine. There'll be other birthdays, and besides, I got you back. That means more to me than anything else. That's like a double birthday and christmas present rolled into one."

I studied his face the best I could as he watched where he was going, and tried to figure out if he was really okay or if he was just saying it to make me feel better. i couldn't decipher which, I just knew he really was glad I was back, but I think he was definitely hurt, despite his words. I got the feeling he was holding back. I maybe I was just being paranoid. Did I really expect that we could just jump straight back into how we were without it being difficult? Sure, we had made it through and we were stronger, but I was still damaged, and I'd hurt him in the process. We would never be able to be as carefree as we used to be. One of us would always be on edge, and I was only just coming to realise that. Because life was never easy, not really.

But when he pulled up outside of his parents house, everything else disappeared. I hadn't really seen them, interacted with them since the wedding. And my daughter was in there too.

Before I knew it, my door was opened and Alex was stood in front of me, concern on his face. "Erin? You okay? We can go home if you want...if it's too soon."

I shook my head at him. "No. I have to do it. I have to see them. I have to see Jasey. I have to say sorry."

Alex put his hands on each side of my face when I began to cry, rubbing the tears away that stung from the bitter cold. "Hey, you have nothing to apologise for, you hear me? Nothing. You're a human being. You got hurt. You were selfish. So are most of us. We all have to be selfish at some point. You're allowed to put yourself above others, I do it all the time."

"But I put myself above you and Jasey. I shouldn't have done that. I'm an awful wife and an even worse mother."

Alex's hands moved so he could pull me to his chest as I still sat in the car, stroking my hair as I clung to him. My life support.

"No, you're not an awful wife or mother. You're just you. And you were trying to protect us. I get it, I really do. I don't think any less of you. And Jasey sure as hell doesn't. Don't you get it? Erin, we're your family. We love you. No matter what. Unconditionally, why else would I have stood up in front of all those people and said those vows? Why would I have stayed with you while you insisted on pushing me away? Why would I be here now? Why, if it weren't for the fact that there was nothing to forgive because we all know you were going through a hard time and you didn't know how to ask for help. You were grieving, and that;s okay. We get that. If anyone understands what that's like it's me, hell mom and dad too, we all know what it's like. They don't need you to apologise, because they think exactly like me. You don't have anything to be sorry about. And Jasey will just be glad to have her mommy back."

We stayed like that for a little while, me just crying, allowing Alex to just stay there with me, intent that I wouldn't push him away again, because I hadn't even succeeded the first time. Eventually my sobs died down and all that was left to do was sniffle a little. Alex pulled back and assessed the wreck before him with those chocolate brown eyes that knew just how to pull at my heart strings without even really trying.

"You ready to go in now?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, yeah I am. It's christmas. I wanna see my family."

I smiled and Alex smiled back at me, probably the happiest he'd been in a long time, judging by how adorning the smile was. "Awesome. Let's go."

We walked hand in hand to the front door, and Alex had barely rung the doorbell before his mother was suddenly flying at me, sweeping me up in her arms, momentarily remembering I was pregnant, and releasing me a little, smiling at me with tears in her eyes.

"Oh sweetie, it's good to see you. We missed you so much."

I held in the tears I felt from hearing those words from the woman who had kind of become a mom to me. "I missed you too," I said in a choked voice.

She ushered Alex and I into the living area, Peter taking our coats, giving me a warm hug that only dads could do. Even though he wasn't my dad, he sure as hell treated me like his daughter, and I guess I was. At least, daughter in law.

Alex took my hand again and kissed my temple, reassuring me with a smile, and it was getting really hard to hold in the tears I'd felt sting since seeing Isobel. It wasn't long before Isobel walked back into the living area, carrying a small child. My child. My Jasey Rae,

Jasey peeked her head up from it's place on Isobel's shoulder and locked eyes with mine. I stood up and after a moment of recognition passed over her eyes, she asked "Mommy?" in a quiet voice.

Before I knew it I was holding Jasey close to my body, crying, shaking, letting it all out, burying my head in the crook of her neck, as I heard her cry and cling to my hair.

"Mommy's back, Mommy's back, Mommy's back. I'm so sorry baby, mommy's so sorry, I never meant to leave you. God, Jasey Rae, I'm so sorry baby, I missed you so much sweetie, oh baby. Mommy's back."

"Don't go," she whimpered, and it broke my heart once more.

"Mommy's not going anywhere, I promise baby, I promise. I'm not ever gonna leave you again."

Suddenly I felt a pair of arms encase me, protecting me, offering me safety from the cruelty of the world, and I knew it was Alex. He pulled me close to him, and I laid my head on his shoulder, as he put on arm around my shoulders and the other around Jasey, who I was still holding close to me. Alex leaned his forehead on mine, and I was sure I saw the trail of a tear on his cheek.

"Everything's gonna be okay," he whispered. And I so badly wanted to believe him. Maybe for today, maybe for christmas, I could. We had a beautiful daughter, who I had made amends with, we had each other, I had the acceptance of his family who completely understood, and I had two more children to look forward to. the promise of a future. So as Isobel called us for lunch as Peter attempted cutting the turkey, a much better option than his take on lighting the christmas pudding last year, I knew that this christmas would be a happy one. And I could forget any worries I could possibly have for this one day. Because for today, everything was okay.

And that was all I needed.