You Got Me Poppin Champagne

ERIN'S POV

"All right sweetie, you wanna talk to daddy?" I asked my daughter, stopping her before she put one of Peyton's toys in her mouth.

I held out the phone and she swiped it from me in one swift move. I sighed and sunk down onto one of the couches, flicking through channels, not really interested in any of it. I just wanted Alex back, I wanted him to hold me, to tell me it would all be okay. But he couldn't. Because he was in the UK, he was on tour, he didn't know there was a reason to worry. And I was here. Keeping secrets from him. Remembering how this time last year we had no clue what our futures were destined to morph into.

I don't regret having Jasey, not at all. I'd always wanted to be a mother. Even if Alex had cast me aside, as he had every right to, I would still have kept her. I just wouldn't have asked or expected anything off him. Although that would have made the future a little confusing for Erin, but she would have always had me. We were a family, me and her. Alex was also part of my family, but I just didn't know how much longer he would be part of my family for after he found out. Which was why I was holding off on telling him for as long as possible. I wanted to keep this pretense of comfort and warmth until I absolutely needed to tell him, I mean, nothing bad would happen? Right?

As I relaxed I could almost hear the heartbeat protruding from my stomach, but the steady th-thump rhythm soon turned to the words five months. Five months, five months, five months, five months...those words were etched into my mind eternally.

ALEX'S POV

"Miss you dadda," Jasey told me as soon as she heard my voice on the phone. I smiled instantly at the referral of me as being 'dadda,'

"I miss you too baby, you being good for mommy?"

"Mommy gone," she replied. Wait, what? But i was just speaking to her...Erin wouldn't just leave Jasey on her own...well, Jasey was only coming up to two in July. She's gotta get things mixed up sometimes. I'm surprised she can even have a conversation this early on. The nurses all told us it was because we always talked to her and I always sang to her when she was still in the womb. And Erin told me my music wasn't gonna help Jasey's development...hah! I knew I was right.

"What do you mean baby? Where is mommy?" I asked, confused, sitting up a little more in the back room on the bus. Jack noticed my change in posture and shot me a puzzled, questioning look.

"Mommy got sad."

Okay...I really didn't know what to say to that,,,did she just mean hormones? Or was she returning to the state she was in back in December? "What do you mean? Is she still in the house? Can you see her?"

"Mommy's sad. Mommy needs daddy." Fuck. How bad was it if Jasey could tell she needed me? Thank god we only had another week of touring, and we'd be back with a week to spare before Erin gave birth.

"Daddy'll be back real soon Jasey, I promise. Put mommy back on for me? I love you baby."

"Love you dadda," she replied before she put Erin back on the phone.

"Hey again, how long til you gotta get your ass on stage?" Erin asked when she got the phone.

"About eight hours. So I have plenty of time to ask you why the hell Jasey was telling me that you were sad."

Erin sighed on the other end of the line, and I just wanted to be with her so I could put my arms around her and make it all okay. "She's a kid, Alex, she doesn't understand half the words that come out of her mouth. She spends most her time pointing at trees and calling them cats."

"So why did she tell me that you needed me?" I challenged.

"I don't know, maybe she just saw me crying because of the hormones and everything, and didn't understand. It's pretty common you know."

I rolled my eyes, "Well no shit Sherlock, I'm not stupid. But for a kid who's gonna be two in like five months to be able to tell you're upset kinda makes me worry that maybe you're not okay."

"Alex, it's nothing, okay, you don't have to get so tetchy about it, don't worry when there's nothing to worry about."

"Oh, well forgive me for caring about my fucking wife who's pregnant when I'm on a completely different continent to her, or is that illegal now?"

"Calm down Alex! You're getting all worked up for nothing, what's got into you? If I tell you not to worry, can't you just trust me and not worry?"

This time it was my turn to sigh. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just hard not to worry when we're this far apart. I hate leaving you."

"But you'd hate holding the band back from a tour even more, so don't feel too bad."

"I'm seriously starting to question that. Maybe it's time I suggest we only tour America."

"Fuck no! If I was still in the UK and still just a fan, I would probably die of heartbreak if you announced you weren't gonna tour outside of the US anymore. I refuse to let you do that to those kids."

I chuckled at that, "I know. But we'll have three kids, how am I supposed to be a dad and tour?"

"Same way as you're doing it now." This time there was something slightly off in her voice, and I wanted to call her out on it, but I didn't wanna make her stress out.

"But I'll miss out on so much, what if I miss the first word again? Or taking first steps? Their first laugh...what do I do then?"

"You won't miss it. When Jasey said her first word I called you straight away, it'll be fine."

I sighed again. "But it's not the same as being there."

This time her voice was gentle. "You're a good dad, Alex, that's enough. They're not gonna forget or wonder who you are. That's all that matters." And at that moment Matt called us for soundcheck. Asshole.

"Ughk, I gotta go, Matt's just called us for soundcheck. But I'll see you real soon, okay?"

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too, and Erin?"

"Yeah?"

"I already said this before but-"

"When you get back we need to talk...yeah, I know, because I've been thinking the exact same thing."