I'm Going to Lose it

Dougie and I were the only people at the park. I need to tell Dougie about my past but how can I? Its not something I can just blurt out. He sat on the swing next to me and just started to swing lightly. Not to fast but a nice calming rocking.

"Dougie I'm sorry I'm acting like a baby."

"Your not acting like a baby. You saw something you should never have to see. I just don't know why you are so upset about it."

"There is something you should know and I don't know how to tell you. I don't want you to get mad at me or be disgusted with me."

"I could never be disgusted with you. Or hate you for that matter. You can tell me anything."

"Well do you really want to know?"

"If you don't mind telling me."

He stopped rocking and looked at me. This is it. I have to tell him.

"It was about a year ago. Junior prom to be specific. I was going out with this guy named Mike. He was everything I could ask for. I had told him everything. Including when I was little how my cousin used to force me to give him blow jobs. Mike knew everything about me. And I knew everything about him. My family loved him and his family loved me. We never slept together because I wanted to know our relationship was more then just the sexual attraction. Prom night I saw the real side of him though. Somehow he got a ton of vodka and was drinking it before the dance. When we were leaving the place prom was being held at he and I got into his car and he finished off his bottle of vodka. I thought nothing of it and then thats when it all happened. I was in the back seat of his car getting changed into cloths for after prom when I felt him wrap his arms around me. He started kissing my neck and wouldn't stop. I pushed him off and that didn't get him off. I was starting to get scared and I started fighting him even more-"

At this point I was in full tears and was reliving the moment.

"He forced my underwear down and ripped my bra off. I was laying in the back of his car naked and there was no way of getting out of it. He opened the door and two of his friends came in. I was in shock the guy I loved was doing this. They each held down my arms and legs while Mike forced himself in me. It hurt so bad and when he exploded it burnt. I knew something was wrong right then but I couldn't stop them. He got off of me and switched with one of his friends. They each had their turn with me. After they finished I was allowed to get dressed and they dropped me off at my house. No talking or anything. It was a drop and run. After school let out for summer I started to notice that My stomach was growing and I was getting sick every morning. I didn't tell Mike about me being pregnant but I did tell my parents. Nine months later I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Mike found out and he took the baby from me and told the courts I was an unfit mother and all of this other shit so they took the baby from me and I haven't seen her since. I found out right after they got custody they moved to California. I don't want another baby in the family at this time. My parents cant handle it. And to make the situation even worse is that after he took the baby he told people that I used to give blow jobs to my cousin and I had sex with more than 10 guys. He turned everything around on me and made me look like the bad person."

Dougie looked at me. I think he was in a loss for words. I had tears flowing freely and I looked at his eyes and I could see the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

"Come here baby."

I crawled over to him and sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed circles into the lower part of my back.

" Danielle its OK. You'll be OK. Deep breaths. I will help you in whatever way you want."

"I just want my life to be over. Everything bad always happens to me. Why cant anything good happen to me?"

He was kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back. I must have fallen asleep because that is the last thing I can remember. I woke up and found myself in my hotel bed and a whispering in the corner in my room. I looked over and saw Danny and Dougie.

"Danny she has had a hard time. I want her to move in with me."

"I cant believe all of that happened to a sweet girl like her."

"Well you sleeping with Katie didn't help."

"I'm sorry mate, Ive told you that multiple times. How many more times do I have to say that?"

"Till Danielle forgives you."

Dougie must have told Danny what happened because I looked at Dougie and he had the tears in his eyes again.

"I still don't know what to tell Danielle about the baby. How do I tell her about my son?"

Did he just say son? I better make some kind of noise to let them know I'm awake. I did the only thing I could do. I yawned.

"Well look who's awake."

"Hi Dougie. Why is Danny in my room?"

"Danielle I can to tell you how sorry I am. I never meant for it to happen and no matter what happens with Katie I will help her. Even if she is pregnant."

"I will forgive you if you promise not to drink that much ever again. "

"I promise."

He came over and gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Dougie told me about everything that happened to you and I am so sorry. I want you to know that. If I can do anything let me know. I want to help."

"Thanks I'll let you know."

Dougie came walking over like he had something to tell me but he only handed me my phone.

"Its been ringing no stop all morning."

I opened my phone only to see I had a missed call from my parents and about 10 new voice mails. They all said the same thing. Call us as soon as you get this.

"Hello mom whats going on?"

"When?"

"Ill catch the first flight out of here." I had tears forming at the edges of my eyes again.

"Love ya too. Bye"

"Why are you catching the first flight out of here? What did I do?"

"Something is wrong with Chloe. They need me to go home and see her."

"Who is Chloe?"

"My daughter. Mike did something to her and now my parents said I get her back. But shes sick and in the hospital. I need to go see my baby. Its been a few months since the last time I saw her."

"I'm coming with you."

"No Dougie you need to stay here to record your album"

"No he doesn't. Ill cover him. He needs a break anyways. Ill have all of your friends stay with me. You go see your daughter."

"Thank you so much Danny"

We hugged one more time before Dougie and I ran out to his car. I want to know what Mike did to my baby. I hope she will be OK. If anything happens to her I might die. Dougie bought me and him a plane ticket to Philly air port and the only seats that were open were first class. I will be home to see my baby in a few hours. After the plane had gotten up in the air Dougie looked me in the eyes and started to talk.

"Danielle there is something I need to tell you. I was going to but you fell asleep and then you got the phone call from your parents but nothing can happen right now so I need to tell you now."

"What is it Dougie. Is everything OK?"

"Yeah everything is fine with me but I have a son."

"What?"

"I have a son named Jack."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I didn't know how to but then you told me all about Chloe and I knew I was in love with you. I needed you to know about Jack."

I kissed him. I was at a loss for words so I just kissed him. We each have a kid. Its almost like we are the perfect family. We landed about 7 hours later and I had to wake Dougie up.