You Are So Beautiful

They say everything happens for a reason, right? Well, obviously, 'cause I wouldn't be here right now if it did. Everything is just so stressful sometimes, I will bicker and bitch about anything and everything. When someone tries to come along to try and help me out of something like that, I always bitch them out because I would wanna do it my way. My way or the highway. Especially when I'm in a bitchy mood. The guys know would to stand clear when the bitch comes out and sometimes Monte will call Harley just to help me calm down. She and Kat were the only ones, well... including Monte. All he'd have to do is just hug me from behind and just hold me. I would even ask him to massage my shoulders sometimes. Yeah, but that's kinda private. Moving on.

Now for some odd known reason, it makes me think the song, Liars & Monsters that was on their deluxe edition of their self-titled album. Max is actually the one who wrote the song. I think the guilt of leaving his best friend to rot in a jail cell kinda got to him. I do have to admit the song was really good. Max really out did himself I have to say. But now, the drugs really screwed him up this time. Robert had said something about missing Max, but missing the Max he grew up with. I couldn't help but agree with him. I hope he's doing well. I do contact him through Twitter sometimes. But that was that, now moving to the world of reality.

I was currently trying to get food for the boys so I didn't have to cook for them... again. I suck at cooking and the guys know that. I was also on the phone with Harley because I was the only one who listened to her rant about how TJ is being stupid or how TJ thinks he's all that. She did told me that she liked TJ better when he played guitar for Motionless In White.

"And, you won't believe what he did this morning." she said in her pissed off voice.

"What?" I replied back in a monotone voice, not really caring right now.

"He just had the nerve to dump ice cold water on me!"

I groaned and pressed the off button before she could get the chance of cussing him out. I wasn't really in the mood. I paid for the food, got the bags to my truck and drove back to the house. I got back to the house in a matter of 3 minutes, grabbed the grocery bags full of food and went into the house. I walked to the kitchen, Harley next to me, bitching about that I hung up on her. I was started to get tired of her moaning and bitching about TJ all the time. It was starting to get annoying

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I shouted at her after I put all the food away.

She looked like a child who was caught with her hand in the cookie jar before dinner.

"I'm sorr- I'll just go." I said and walked quickly to my room picked up the pillow and screaming in it. I heard my bedroom door opening and closing quietly. And there's only one person I know who does that.

I rolled over on my back and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry."

"I know you are, babe." Monte sat beside me and nudged me slightly. I sat up and leaned over to give him and peck on the lips as a thank you.

"Could you massage my shoulders?" I ask.

"Anything you need."

Monte sat behind me and put his hands on my shoulders and started moving his hands over my neck. I closed my eyes and moaned in pleasure at the feeling of stress starting to leave my body. I re-open my eyes and bended backwards to stare up at Monte upside down.

"Feel better?"

"Oh yeah." I replay with satisfied look on my face.

"Good." he smirked and patted my cheek and then leaned down to kiss me.

"I love you." he says as he pulls away.

"I love you too." I reach up and out my hand on his cheek and caress it gently.


After the guys left to band practice. Today was Tuesday and their usually practice day. I didn't mind. Neither did Kitty or Harley. Katlyn or Kitty is Craig's girlfriend and my best friend since I was like six. I remembered I had pushed her off the swing set because she was sitting on the one specific seat my brother would always push me on.

He died fighting for our country and I loved him very much for it. I still missed him everyday and still sometimes wish he didn't sign up for the Army. I got a tattoo on right ankle as a little memory thing for him. I was proud of him. That made me start tearing up because I told him I wanted him to walk me down the aisle. So, I asked Robert if he could walk me, since I've known him forever and plus I knew him better.

I wiped my tears away and grabbed my iPod and my iHome and put my iPod on shuffle and the first song to play was Levitate by Hollywood Undead. I started mouthing the words and just let the lyrics of this song take me away. It may have seemed like a party song, but it wasn't. The lyrics behind it were too deep to be a party song, like Everywhere I Go and Comin' In Hot, those were party songs. But the music made it out to be like a party song. I started dancing to the song and let the voices of J-Dog, Danny, Johnny 3 Tears and Charlie Scene pull me into a different world.