Trust Me

The audience emitted a low rumble of murmurs, and Caesar seemed surprised. “You’re not a force to be reckoned with, are you?”

“I wouldn’t say that. I just don’t think I should be overlooked or written off so quickly.” I said, quickly remembering that I was supposed to be cute rather than deadly tonight. I’d gotten so used to trying to seem intimidating around Adri that I’d forgotten all about the audience. “I may be small, but I work hard.”

“That must be true. I look forward to seeing all you’ve worked on in the arena.” Caesar said, stretching out a hand for me to shake and effectively signaling the end of my interview.

I shook his hand and smiled, walking off the stage with the audience letting out a loud applause. I wasn’t sure if they liked me, or if they simply thought I was going to give them a good game, but either way I hoped it was working in my favor.

As I walked back into the off-stage room, Adri was sneering up at me. He caught my wrist and pulled me down as I walked past. Caught off guard, I stumbled into his lap, which was exactly what he’d planned. “I appreciate your kind words, 4, and I look forward to seeing your ‘actions’ in the arena.” He murmured in my ear, his voice low and sultry.

I turned to glare at him only to find myself staring right into his eyes. I’d expected his eyes to be cold and cruel, but they were more playful. No, that wasn’t it, they were taunting. Whatever he had planned for me was obviously well planned, and he didn’t have any fear of me.

A few of the mentors came in to whisk away the tributes who’d already had their interviews as Caesar cut to commercial, and Finnick walked in and stopped in front of me. He was still angry, though I wasn’t sure if it was from our earlier conversation or from the little mistake I’d made on the show. He reached out a hand to help me out, and I took it. I went to pull my hand out of his as soon as I was on my feet, but he locked his hand around mine and lead the way out of the room, pulling me behind him.

“I’m sorry.” I said quietly as soon as we were in one of the outside hallways.

Finnick sighed. “You did a good job on the interview. Everyone’s buzzing about it. People will be lining up to sponsor you.”

“I’m sorry.” I repeated, a little louder this time. Finnick didn’t seem to want to talk about what had happened earlier, but I was determined to resolve any remaining conflict.

“People are going to be watching you and Adri closely. That’s exactly what the Game makers wanted, so be careful with him. He didn’t get an 11 just for looking intimidating.” Finnick said, his voice still low. He was ignoring my apologies, which irritated me.

“I’M SORRY!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Finnick winced. “I heard you.” He said simply.

“You didn’t act like it.” I muttered.

“You have no right to be the one who’s angry here.” Finnick scoffed. His voice was growing louder with anger, which was, in my opinion, better than him being stony and cold. “I thought we clarified that you were going to do whatever you could to keep alive! You can’t go changing your mind now!”

“Why does it matter if I stay alive? Even if I make the decision that I want to survive, I’ll probably get slaughtered. Ingrid has already talked about mutilating me. She’s going to enjoy my death more than any other tribute has enjoyed killing another tribute in the history of the Hunger Games.” I said.

“Don’t let her. Don’t give that bitch the satisfaction.” Finnick said. He pulled me into a sudden and very unexpected hug. “Fight back. You have to fight, Winnie. You can’t resign yourself to death. I know you want to be noble. It’s one of the things that’s most annoying about you, but also one of the things that I love most about you.”

I couldn’t find any words, so I just hugged him back, enjoying the feeling of being near him once again. I didn’t know how many more times I’d get to be close to him.

“You have to make it out of there alive. For me.” Finnick whispered.

“Is this another one of your mind games?” I said with a shaky laugh.

Finnick scoffed quietly. “I thought girls liked sentimental speeches. I’m doing everything I can to try and give you the will to live. You’re the first true friend I’ve had since I won the Games. I can’t lose you.”

It was odd, but I felt the same way. Finnick was the first true dependable friend I’d ever had. I’d only known him 5 days, but bonds form fast when you have to come to terms with the fact that it’s very likely that you’ll die in merely a few days. “Me, too.” I said softly.

Finnick sighed and rested his chin on my head. “Please don’t let yourself get taken away from me. I know it’s a selfish request, but I also know you’re capable of winning.”

“I think I have enough reasons to try and win now.” I said.

Finnick’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“I want to prove Adri wrong. I really, really hate Ingrid and want to prove her wrong about me as well. I want to prove to Kip that he was wrong about what he said to me that first day on the train. I want to show my father that he always underestimated me. And I want to do whatever I can to thank you for what you’ve done for me since the Reaping. If the best way to repay you is to come out of that arena alive, then that’s what I’ll try and do.” I said.

Finnick pressed his lips to mine quickly. “Thank you.”

I stared up at him blankly and blinked a few times, trying to absorb what had happened, but Finnick just grinned down at me.

“Don’t look so overwhelmed, love. It’s just a ‘thank you’ kiss.” He said with a laugh, and I was reminded of the Finnick Odair I’d met that first day on the train. Carefree and flirty. It made my heart flutter happily to see him like this again. Things were getting brighter, but I knew I would hit a rapid downhill spiral as soon as the Games began.

I cleared my throat quietly, seeing a good opportunity to ask a question that had been on my mind since I’d met him. “Finnick, why did you say you couldn’t get close to anybody since you won the Games?” I wasn’t sure if the question was too personal, but I figured I had nothing to lose at this point.

Finnick’s smile faded. “I made plenty of friends when I was training for the Games. The other Careers were very nice, the girl from my District was a sweet girl, and even a handful of the other tributes were quite kind to me. Perhaps some of these people quarreled amongst themselves, but to me they were perfectly friendly. I thought I’d actually made friends at the Games. And then, when the cannon sounded to announce the start of the Games, some of those ‘friends’ tried to kill me. The ones who didn’t try to kill me were too preoccupied trying to kill the others. The civilized manner everyone had adopted was thrown away. They were monsters. And then, I became a monster like them.

“I remember my first kill. It was automatic. I was getting everything I’d need to set snares, and I heard footsteps behind me – the boy from District 8. I just turned around and stabbed him square in the heart. I didn’t think about what I was taking away from him. This was a human life, but I destroyed it. And I didn’t care. Then, I kept on doing that over and over again, until I was the only one left.

“After I got back to District 4, nothing was the same. People tried to act like they were happy I’d come home, but nobody really was. They were afraid of me. They’d seen me mercilessly slaughter children on television. They saw only what the Capitol had turned me into for one week. They didn’t remember that I was still a person. I’m not saying I wasn’t changed by the Games, but I wasn’t quite so changed that I deserved to be treated differently. People would say hello to me in the streets, but when I returned home, I was alone. Nobody would be around me if they could help it. The only people who treated me like a normal human being were the other tributes that I mentored, but being treated like a normal human being is a lot different than being treated like a friend. You’re the only one who’s done that since I was 14. That’s why I couldn’t bear to lose you.” Finnick finished.

I blinked up at him a few times, trying to absorb everything he’d just said. He’d bombed me with too much information for me to fully comprehend, and for a few moments I tried to understand everything. “I’m so sorry.” Was all I could say.

Finnick chuckled softly. “What are you apologizing for?”

“I don’t know. It just seems like the right thing to say,” I admitted.

He leaned over and ruffled my hair. “No, the right thing for you to do is to tell me your life story. I’ve given you mine, after all.”

I smirked. “There’s nothing much to tell. I grew up with my alcoholic father, and had to take care of myself. I’ve lead a fairly boring life up until now.”

“Where was your mother?” Finnick asked.

I glanced down at my hands. “She left shortly after I was born.”

“Why was that, if you don’t mind my asking?” When I looked back up at Finnick, his eyes were full of concern.

“My mother’s sister was a tribute in the Games around twenty years ago. Needless to say, she didn’t make it, and my mother was insane with grief. After I was born, she would have nightmares about me being taken selected as tribute and dying in the Games, just like her sister did. She made my father start teaching me how to work with weapons when I was very young – which is why I’m so skilled with knives and spears. But her nightmares just got worse and worse. Eventually, she had to be taken away to an asylum here in the Capitol, and I haven’t seen her since. My father made me keep practicing with weapons – I guess he felt it was his way of keeping his promise to my mother – but other than that, he paid no attention to me. Alcohol was the only thing he had time for.” The words seemed to spill out past my lips before I could edit them, and before I knew it I had bared my soul to Finnick.

Finnick’s brow puckered slightly in confusion. “You always say your mother left you and your father.”

“Saying she left sounds better than saying she was taken away to an institution.” I said with a bitter laugh.

Finnick was silent for a few moments, and even when he spoke his voice was quiet. “When you win the Games, I’m taking you to go see your mother. We’ll do everything we can to get her home.”

I glanced up at him to see if he was serious or if he was only trying to console me, but I couldn’t argue with the firm determination in his eyes. I could only nod and hug him, my emotions too high for me to speak.