Trust Me

I soon learned that sleep would be impossible. I had a million thoughts running through my head, and despite the fact that my eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds and my body was aching and begging for sleep, my brain would go into overdrive every time I closed my eyes.

I had been feigning sleep for about an hour when I first noticed it. The temperature was dropping rapidly. I could feel shivers start to rack through my body and I huddled into a ball trying to preserve body heat. I opened my eyes and looked up at Adri to see that he was huddled closer to the fire, his teeth chattering and his large body shaking with shivers.

“Do you think they’re going to try to freeze us to death?” I asked, scooting as close to the fire as I could, though the fact that I was tied to the tree stopped me from getting too close.

Adri looked up at me, seeming a little startled by the fact that I was awake. “No. That would be too merciful. They’re probably only trying to give us frostbite or hypothermia, something that would disable us.” He leaned over and quickly untied the rope that bound me to the tree. “Stay close to the fire,” He instructed.

I muttered a quiet ‘thank you’ and obediently huddled close to the fire, waving my fingers over the flame as best as I could with the ropes still binding my arms. I could feel my fingers and toes starting to go numb from the cold. “How long do you think it’ll last?”

“At least a few more hours. It might happen every single night to keep weakening us.” Adri murmured. He leaned over and grabbed a large sleeping bag from the pack and he spread it out next to the fire. “Get in,” He instructed.

I froze. “I’m fine.” I muttered.

“I don’t care. Get in.” Adri snapped. I opened my mouth to challenge him, but I could see that he was shivering even more violently than he had been just a few moments ago, and I knew that now was not the time to fight him. I grudgingly crawled across the dirt and into the sleeping bag.

“Happy?” I asked.

“Ecstatic,” He replied sarcastically, though his words were marred though his chattering teeth. He started to climb in next to me, and I instinctively rolled over to block him from getting in.

“What are you doing?” I demanded, eyes wide.

“It’s common knowledge. When you’re freezing, you have to curl everyone up together to conserve body heat.” Adri said, furrowing his brow.

I froze. “Oh. Right.” I muttered, and I rolled over a bit, though I was still very uneasy with the idea of curling up with Adri to keep warm.

He heaved himself into the sleeping bag and did up the zipper behind him before curling his massive body into a ball. His eyes were squeezed shut as though he were in pain, and now that I was so close to him I could see a blue-purple tint creeping into his lips. His teeth were chattering incessantly now, his breathing coming in sharp jagged breaths as he fought over the shivers that shook his chest.

“Isn’t there anything else we can do to keep warm? Is there anything in the pack?” I asked, my brow furrowing slightly. I didn’t know why, but I was concerned for Adri. It was silly, really – I should have been hoping for the cold to take him – but for some reason I felt like I had to try and help him.

“The only thing in the pack that could keep us warm are the matches, and we’ve already got a fire going.” Adri said.

“So there’s nothing we can do?” My voice was soft as I watched his skin seem to grow paler by the second.

“There’s one other thing, but it’s only a last resort. I refuse to do it.” Adri said with a bitter laugh.

“What is it?” I asked.

Adri shook his head. “I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to let you do it, either.”

“I didn’t say I’d do anything. I just want to know what it is.” I grumbled. “I’m cold, too.” It wasn’t a total lie; I was cold, but only slightly. Adri’s body was like a muscular radiator, and I’d warmed right up after he’d crawled in the sleeping bag next to me. Of course, I was probably stealing his body heat and giving nothing back to him, which was most likely why he was getting so much colder.

“You don’t know anything about survival skills, do you, 4?” He tried to force a laugh, but it sounded like more of a cough.

Suddenly I knew what he was talking about. I didn’t like the idea of it, but I knew it had to be done. “Sit up,” I said quietly.

“I’m fine,” He muttered, trying to roll away from me.

“I said, sit up!” I was almost yelling now. Adri paused for a moment as if he were debating whether or not he should listen to me, but then he reluctantly sat up. I reached forward and clasped my fingers around the hem of his shirt before peeling it up over his head. My hands were still bound, making my movements clumsy, but I managed to peel it off of him. I reached down and started to work on my own shirt, but Adri’s arms grabbed my wrists.

“Don’t.” He said firmly. His eyes were open now, glaring into mine, and I could feel how cold his hands were on my wrists.

“It has to be done. Conserve body heat, right? If you’re so immature that you can’t sleep next to someone naked, even if it’s to save your own life, then that’s fine. Not my problem.” I said coolly, glaring back at him.

He grimaced. “Why are you doing this?” He hissed, goose bumps dancing across his now exposed skin.

“I’m cold, too. Now help me get this shirt off before we both freeze.” I snapped.

He sighed and stared at me for a few moments as if trying to figure out what to do.

“We’re not getting any warmer,” I muttered impatiently.

“Fine!” He growled, yanking the buttons of my shirt open. His large fingers were frozen from the cold, making them clumsy and less dexterous, but he finally managed to get my shirt off. He then reluctantly pulled off his pants, and I squirmed out of my own. We both placed our clothes on top of us as another layer of blankets before we laid back down, both of us refusing to remove undergarments for very good reason.

The awkwardness of the situation was almost enough to take my mind off the cold. Adri and I laid on opposite ends of the sleeping bed, facing each other but not daring to look at each other. One of us had to make the first move and get close, but I couldn’t work up the courage to do it myself. I was colder now than ever, and Adri’s skin was a marble of purple and white under the pale moonlight and orange light of the fire.

I could see the pain flash over Adri’s face, and I finally mustered up the courage. I wriggled closer to him as best as I could, pressing myself to him as much as I could manage. His skin was icy cold against mine, and I could hear his uneven breathing hissing through his teeth as his jaws trembled. As soon as I’d moved closer to him, he seemed to give in. He tucked himself against me, placing his nearly frozen hands on the warmest part of me that he could find, which happened to be my stomach. I placed my ankles on either side of his, trying to wrap his feet in my own to warm them.

Adri seemed almost delirious, having been so close to death. He didn’t try to keep up a strong front or even maintain distance, he was overcome with the need to warm himself. He nuzzled his head against my neck, his ears warmed by my chin and my chest, his warm breath washing over the skin of my neck. I froze, unsure what to do, but the pained whimpers escaping his lips made him seem too pitiful to deny.

“Are you okay?” I whispered a long while later. His shivers were now more like gentle tremors and his whimpers weren’t so frequent or pained, but I wasn’t sure if he had regained his senses or not.

He was silent for a few moments, and I started to panic. Had I been too late? Should I try and help him regain consciousness? “Thank you,” He said very quietly, his voice muffled against my skin.

“I was cold too. It wasn’t just for your sake,” I said. I was lying, but he didn’t need to know that. I couldn’t even understand why I’d felt compelled to help him, let alone explain it to someone else.

“Still.” He murmured. He raised his fingers from my stomach and flexed them for a few moments as if testing to see if they still worked before taking my arms in his hands. He slowly untied the ropes around my elbows and wrists, setting the ropes next to us in the sleeping bag.

For the first time since I’d regained consciousness, I was completely free. I rolled my wrists around, trying to regain my sense of motion as I enjoyed the feel of freedom. “Does this mean you trust me enough to let me roam free?”

He wrapped one arm over my shoulders, and I froze. All I could think about was how many times Finnick had wrapped his arms around me, and how different that had felt from what Adri was doing now. “There. Now, you can’t get away without waking me. Thanks for reminding me.”

“Then why did you untie me if you’re still not sure about me?” I asked.

“I trust that you won’t try to kill me in my sleep. I don’t trust you not to run away.” Adri explained, tightening one arm around me. My cheek came to rest on his chest, and I could hear the shivers still running through him, though it was a relief that he could now at least function properly.

“How could I run away? My clothes are in here. I’m not about to try and run around the arena half naked in front of Panem.” I grumbled.

“Shush. Sleep now.” Adri muttered, his words slurred. He was already starting to fall asleep.

“You don’t want me to keep watch?” I asked, confused.

“Fine, do whatever, just shut up!” He hissed, swatting his other hand at me before clamping it firmly over my mouth. I waited for him to move his hand off my mouth, but he didn’t, and after a few moments I realized he’d fallen asleep holding me to his chest with his hand over my mouth. I sighed and glowered at his sleeping face, wondering what the hell had just happened.