Trust Me

Kip and I were shipped onto the train immediately after the hour for our final goodbye. Georgina showed us around on the train and introduced us to our mentor. He was gorgeous, and one of the most recognizable faces in Panem -- Finnick Odair.

“You two, this is Finnick, he’ll be your mentor. Finnick, this is Winnie Nova and Kip Lorry.” Georgina nudged Finnick forward in an attempt to get him to socialize with us.

“Pleased to meet you,” Finnick said as he shook Kip's hand, though I could hear the edge to his voice. I sensed that the pleasantries were all forced – just something to please Georgina and keep her off his back.

Kip nodded, but didn’t reply. He hadn’t said a word since we’d gotten on the train, and I doubted he planned on suddenly becoming vocal.

Finnick turned to me, his eyes scrutinizing me carefully. I wondered if he was trying to figure out how to train us. Obviously Kip required significantly less work than I did, and I could tell that Finnick was displeased just thinking of all the work he’d have to put in to prepare me for everything that was to come.

“You’re lucky -- this year, the two of them are in the older age bracket. Kip is sixteen, and Winnie is seventeen,” Georgina said.

Finnick’s brows raised in surprise, and he gave me another look. “Seventeen?” he repeated slowly, taking another look at me.

I shifted uncomfortably. “Yes. I’m just small for my age.”

“You’re small for any age.” Finnick laughed, and I crossed my arms over myself protectively. Being mocked by the one person who could help my chances of survival was hardly a promising start to this journey, and I was once again overcome with loneliness. “But that’ll come in handy. The small ones are usually the most agile, and you’ll get far because you look too innocent to be a threat.”

Georgina gave a quick nudge to Finnick’s ribs. “Before you begin discussing strategies, you should say a proper hello to Winnie. It’s rude not to properly acknowledge a lady.”

Finnick stretched out his hand with an exaggerated flourish. “Pleased to make your acquaintance, darling," he said as I took his hand. He bowed over dramatically and pressed his warm lips softly against my knuckles, his smoldering eyes staying locked with mine as he kept his lips on my hand just a moment too long. I knew he was making me uncomfortable on purpose, and that I should have kept eye contact to show him I wasn’t so easily manipulated, but I couldn’t help it. My cheeks turned pink and I quickly glanced away. I heard Finnick let out a throaty chuckle as he straightened up.

“Now that we’ve all been introduced, why don’t we have a nice cup of tea?” Georgina offered, gesturing to the two tables filled with platters of pastries. Both tables were identically decorated, each set for two people, and as Georgina sat down at one of the tables, I tried to scramble into the other chair at the table. The mere thought of having to sit with either Kip or Finnick made me cringe. However, I didn't seem to be so lucky.

“Winnie,” I heard Finnick say, and I glanced over to see him holding out a chair for me. He arched an eyebrow and grinned, obviously amused. He was toying with me -- I knew he was -- but I had no idea how I could refuse his offer without letting him win this childish little game he'd created. I trudged over to the chair and sat down, watching as Finnick took the other chair and pulled it even closer to my side of the table before sitting down. He propped an elbow up on the table and resting his face on his hand as he watched me, looking rather amused and pleased with himself. There was less than a foot of space between us now, and I was close enough to Finnick to catch his scent. It was cool and crisp, reminding me of the smell of the dewy meadows on spring mornings back home.

I was hyper aware of my every movement, aware that I was under Finnick's intense scrutiny, and I felt pressured to behave properly despite not knowing what ‘proper’ meant to Finnick. I grabbed the cloth napkin off my plate and spread it gingerly across my lap, smoothing my skirt out over my legs and sitting up straighter. I wasn't even sure if people actually put their napkins across their lap. I’d seen people do it on television before when they broadcasted dinners at the Capitol, but no one in District 4 had ever done such a thing. I gingerly grabbed the first pastry I saw and raised it to my lips, nibbling off a tiny bite before setting it back down on my plate. I decided I could no longer ignore Finnick’s stare, and I turned to him with my brows raised expectantly. “Yes?” I said once I’d swallowed the mouthful of pastry.

“I didn’t say anything.” Finnick's smug grin widened.

“Your eyes were saying quite a bit,” I argued, my tone even and cool.

He finally turned away from me as he pondered over which kind of pastry to try first. He finally selected some kind of berry-filled tart, and he sat back. I wondered if he was going to say anything else, and just when I’d decided that he was going to ignore me he spoke again. “I’m just trying to figure out how to sell you.”

“Sell me?” I repeated.

Finnick nodded. “Sponsors would love you if you were good with weapons. You’d be the perfect underdog. Of course, if the other tributes think you’re dangerous, you’ll be picked off as soon as possible.”

“Isn’t there any chance of me getting into an alliance?”

Finnick laughed a little too loudly, making me feel a little offended. “Have you seen yourself, love? Who would want to be in an alliance with a little girl who looks more like a doll? You don’t look like an asset. Your only hope of getting into an alliance is if your prep team can make you look a little more intimidating whenever you’re around the other tributes.”

I cringed when he called me ‘love’. I knew he had quite the reputation of sleeping around within the Capitol, and I didn’t like the idea of him trying to gain my trust through obnoxious flirtation. “Well, ‘love’,” I started, mocking his tone. Finnick sat back and grinned at me, already amused by how my sentence had started. “I’d hardly think people will take me so lightly just for looking harmless. Look at how many past tributes have won by coming across as innocent and clueless. If anyone is smart, they’ll know to keep an eye out for an underdog. Even if it gets me killed first, at least I’d take that as a kind of compliment.” I paused, then quickly added, “And I don’t look like a doll, nor am I a little girl.”

Finnick smirked, looking delighted. “I must say, you’re truly an incredible creature, Miss Nova.” He leaned over the table and wiped at the corner of my mouth, and I saw that I’d had a bit of icing on my lips as I’d been speaking. I blushed furiously as I wondered how stupid I’d looked, trying to act detached and intelligent with a glob of frosting on my face. He raised the frosting-covered finger to his lips and licked it off, watching my reaction carefully.

Heat crept into my cheeks, and I was overcome with the urge to run into the room Georgina had said was mine, but I didn’t want to give Finnick the satisfaction. “The frosting is good, don’t you think?” I met his gaze and tried to sound composed, though my voice had gained an annoyingly high pitch in my nervousness.

Finnick chuckled softly but didn’t reply. He looked almost disappointed by my lack of reaction, and I felt a bubble of satisfaction at that thought. Just when I was beginning to think I’d won that battle, he reached over again, this time placing his palm ever so gently on my cheek. “Your cheeks are so warm, I’d swear they were about to catch fire.”

I stared blankly at him. His face was so close to mine, his eyes sparkling with joy as he waited for my reaction. I opened my mouth to speak, but my mouth was too dry to form a proper sentence. “Um…uh….oh…"

Finnick’s hand lingered a few moments longer, and I felt his thumb gently stroke across my cheekbone before he finally pulled his hand away. I glanced over at Georgina and Kip anxiously. They were both completely oblivious to what was going on, encapsulated in silence as they stared down at their plates and ate quietly. Though the awkwardness was so thick that I could feel it even from where I was, I would have much rather been sitting with Georgina than Finnick.

Between Kip and Georgina not speaking at all and Finnick watching me like a cat toying with a mouse, I found it impossible to even think about eating. I stood up abruptly, murmuring something about being tired and needing a nap. I pulled the napkin off my lap and tossed it onto my plate before whirling around and rushing off to my room, feeling the gaze of all three of them bore into my back.

The room was extravagantly decorated and luxurious. The covers felt soft as kitten’s breath and were warmer than any of the sheets we had back home. Even the mattress was softer than anything I'd ever felt, and there were paintings and statues throughout the room that I couldn’t even begin to interpret. I carefully peeled off my good dress, hanging it by the door to keep it pressed, and rooted through the dressers until I found a pair of pajamas. I climbed under the covers and buried my face in the pillow, and despite the fact that it was only mid-afternoon, fell into a deep sleep within a few moments.

-

I awoke a few hours later to someone knocking on the door. My mind was still thick with the fog of sleep, making it hard for me to realize where I was. "C'mon in, Dad," I called groggily.

I heard a laugh. “I’m not your father,” a familiar voice said coolly. “Are you really in bed already?”

I groaned and pulled a pillow on top of my head. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with someone talking to me right now. “Go ’way!” I yelled, my voice muffled by the pillow.

“I was given strict orders by Georgina to get you dressed and ready for dinner,” the voice said, and I felt a weight settle on the corner of the bed as if someone had sat down on it.

I shot up, remembering everything that had happened in the past few hours, and in my haste to get up I rolled out of the bed, landing flat on my face on the floor. I landed with a yelp and a loud thud, and I heard someone burst into laughter. I sat up and glared at Finnick, who had fallen back on the bed in his laughing fit.

“Get out of my bed!”

“Does this bother you?” Finnick asked, not getting up.

“Yes. That’s where I sleep. I don’t need other people rolling around in it.”

Of course, Finnick took this as a sign of encouragement. He climbed under my covers and pulled the pillows behind his head. “Then this must make you furious.”

I clenched my jaw and crossed my arms, staring at him silently. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me lose it, but I wasn’t sure if I could resist the temptation much longer. After a few moments of him grinning up at me expectantly, still nuzzled in my bed, I finally said with a small sigh, “What do you want?”

Finnick swung his legs out of the bed and hopped to his feet smoothly. “Could you be a bit more specific?” he asked, taking a step towards me. We were inches apart now, and he stooped his head down so his face was level with mine, so close that it was impossible to look anywhere but at his eyes. He had a smug look on his face as he watched me fight the urge to turn away.

“Why do you keep trying to make me uncomfortable?” I finally managed to grumble.

Finnick tilted his head to the side and leaned in even closer, his lips brushing against my ear. “Is it working?”

Shivers ran down my back. It wasn't necessarily that I had a crush on Finnick; he was undeniably handsome and he did know how to be seductive when he wanted to be, but I hadn't fallen for him or anything. He was just good at pushing my buttons, at getting a reaction out of me, and that infuriated me.

“Obviously it’s working!” I snapped, pushing Finnick back suddenly. I must have shoved him harder than I realized, as he went flying back onto the bed.

Finnick let out a whistle. “If you wanted me back on your bed, you should have just said so. But I love it when the lady takes charge.” He propped his head up and gave me a sly look, patting the bed suggestively.

I balled my hands into fists to keep myself from running out of the room. “You’re insane, right? You spent a little bit too long hitting the booze after you got out of the arena or something, and now you’ve lost your mind.”

Finnick sighed and shook his head condescendingly. “Believe it or not, Winnie, I’m helping you here.”

I paused, watching him skeptically for a few moments. “Continue."

“Look at you, Winnie. You’re so small, people will be messing with you before you even set foot in the arena. They’ll be playing mind games, trying to scare you or intimidate you or get in your head. I’ve noticed a pattern over the past few years; more and more people are trying to seduce their way into their opponents’ heads. The mind games will start as soon as you’re placed in a room with your other tributes, Winnie, mark my words,” Finnick promised, getting off the bed. He looked down at the rumpled blankets, then back at me and my angry expression, and in what I can only guess was an attempt to mollify me he leaned over and tried feebly to smooth the sheets out and make the bed look neater.

“So you’re trying to do the same thing to me?”

Finnick grimaced. “I’m trying to make you immune. Like a vaccination – give you a taste of what’s to come, so you can prepare yourself.”

I pondered over it. “Fine. Do whatever you like. Do whatever you think will help me. I put myself in your hands, but only because you’ve managed to survive the Games once yourself. But I should let you know, I’m not trying to win.”

Finnick furrowed his brow and frowned slightly. “Why not?” he asked cautiously. There was no seductive edge to his expression and his voice wasn’t quite as sultry as it had been before. He’d turned off the charm, and I was grateful for it.

“I’ve got nobody to come back to.” I admitted. “I’m not looking for pity, I promise. The only person I’ve got in my family is my alcoholic father who’s already so liquored up that he probably wouldn’t even have time to miss me in between his drunken stupors. There might be a few people from the District who’d shed a tear, but I have no loved ones back home. Some of those other tributes, they’ve got families and girlfriends or boyfriends. They’ve got people who will be devastated if they don’t come back. It wouldn’t even seem fair for me to win.”

Finnick’s expression faded into one of disappointment. “So you want me to train you, even though you don’t want to win? Why would you put in so much work, then?”

I gnawed my lip. “I want to at least out-live a few people. I don’t want my District to be completely disappointed in me. I know it sounds vain, but I want to at least die with some dignity. Plus, Kip said a few things earlier that I don’t agree with, and not to put you in the middle, but I’d be ecstatic if I could at least out-live him.”

“There it is,” Finnick said with a grin. “You can’t be totally selfless. It’s good to know you’ve got one selfish personal demand.”

“You really think it’s that bad?” I asked sheepishly. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. “I don’t want to put you in the middle. I understand that you’re supposed to mentor the both of us, and it’s not fair for you to help one more than the other. It just kind of…slipped out.”

Finnick leaned back against the wall with a sigh. “Actually, you’ve got me all to yourself,” he said, and though I knew he was trying to put a seductive meaning to the words, I could hear the distraught tone to his voice.

“What do you mean?”

“Kip’s said that he wants to train on his own. He’ll let me handle both of you for group events, so you two look coordinated, but other than that he wants nothing to do with me.”

I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to apologize on Kip’s behalf, but I didn’t want to, so I didn't say anything. I looked down at the floor, shifting uncomfortably I felt an awkward pause coming on, but luckily Georgina burst in before either of us tried to break it.

“Finnick Odair! I sent you in here half an hour ago to bring Winnie out for dinner! What is taking so long?” she demanded. “Oh, Winnie darling! Why are you in your pajamas already? I understand it’s been a long day but we’ll have plenty of time to sleep after dinner.”

“Sorry, Georgina,” I mumbled. Georgina pulled Finnick out of the room and instructed me to change into my clothes and hurry back to the dining car. I opened the closet to find it stocked with dresses that were quite obviously meant to try and make me look sweet and cute and youthful. I found one buttery yellow dress that looked half-decent on the hanger and pulled it on, only to find that it billowed out around me like a ruffled cupcake. I spun around a few times, biting back a smile at the way the dress spun smoothly around me like only expensive fabric could.

I paused and looked at myself in the mirror for a moment. I wondered what kind of angle they were going to use for me. Maybe they would just go for the easiest option and make me look cute and vulnerable. It seemed like an impossible task to make me look menacing or intimidating or even mildly capable, especially compared to the Career tributes. After a few moments of staring at the gown in the mirror and pondering my fate, I headed out to the dining car.

Finnick raised his eyebrows when he saw me, and I saw a look if disapproval wash over his face. “Don’t wear anything like that when we get to the Capitol. If you can’t find anything plain to wear, just wear the clothes you wore to the Reaping.”

I frowned and looked down at the dress. “Does it really look that bad?”

I hadn’t expected Finnick to hear me. “It’s not the image I want for you" was all he said. He cast a wary glance at Kip, who seemed to be focused on his food, but I could tell Finnick was hesitant to reveal any crucial information around one of my opponents. And, I reminded myself, a person who wanted me dead.