Trust Me

I woke up to feel the sun shining on my face as it peeked through the trees. It seemed to be around 8 or 9 in the morning by the position of the sun. I could hear the birds chirping softly in the distance, and a small smile spread its way across my face. The morning felt so peaceful. I suddenly froze as I realized that things would not go well. The Game makers had a notorious habit of making the morning warm and sunny when they had a great massacre planned for later in the day.

I suddenly realized that Adri had let me sleep all night, abandoning all of his watch shifts. I sat up and turned to flick him in the nose when I realized he was sleeping. His breathing was deep and steady and a look of peace had fallen on his face. I lowered my hand from his face to his shoulder and gently nudged him. "Come on, Adri. We've got to get up." I wanted to get to the most secure area possible in the hopes of staying out of the way of whatever the Game makers had planned.

Adri groaned and rolled over. He stretched his arm up and then flopped it down over me, pulling me to him sleepily. "Five more minutes," He grumbled.

I froze, not daring to move a muscle or even breathe as he nestled against me and twisted his legs together with mine. Within a few seconds his breathing regained a slightly hoarse pitch to it and it became slow and deep. He'd fallen asleep again.

"Adri!" I whispered sharply, wanting to wake him up but too scared to really try. "Adri, what are you doing?"

His eyes twitched a few times. "Just stay like this for a few minutes, okay?" He said, his voice sounding a little clearer now, as if he was closer to being fully conscious.

I stayed there for about half a minute, knowing what I had to do, but every time my brain told my muscles to move, they didn't even budge. I finally managed to get my hands to move, and I gently placed them on Adri's arm, softly pulling it off me. I sat up and untangled my legs from his before standing, pulling on my clothes. Adri glanced up at me, and I could see the sadness in his eyes. He didn't really want me to stay with him like that, did he? There was a very good chance that we could die today. We had to try and get moving, not stay and cuddle together.

"We should get a move on. I've got a bad feeling about today." I said softly, starting to put out the fire and refill our canteens. I heard a rustling behind me, and I peeked a glance out of the corner of my eye to see him dressing himself and rolling the sleeping bag up. His face looked blank of all expression, and I almost wished I could go back in time and stay with him under the covers, if only to make him happy again. His feed trudged through the small patch of dirt and raised a cloud of dust, and I tried to figure out if he was angry, sad, or frustrated. Maybe he just wanted to play more mind games. Maybe he was making them very convincing.

"I'm not falling for your mind games." I said quietly, turning back to the pool and refilling the canteen with water. I'd filled the same canteen up and then dumped it out at least 3 times now, looking for an excuse to stay here, far away from him.

He scoffed. "Mind games?" He repeated. "Is that all you think I'm capable of?"

I opened my mouth to protest, but I couldn't find the right words. He'd been rendering me speechless a lot lately. All I could seem to do was shake my head in silence.

"Then why do you keep accusing me of playing with your head? Don't you trust me?" He demanded.

"I don't want to trust you," I found myself saying suddenly, anger in my voice. No, mouth, don't say that! You're going to make things worse! I thought, begging for my mouth to shut itself so I could start thinking of a way to backtrack out of what I'd just said, but my mouth kept going, digging me into a deeper hole. "We're not supposed to trust each other here. Every alliance in the Games ends through death. Either you or I get killed by someone else, or we turn on each other. If we trust each other, if we let ourselves become friends, then that's just going to make it so much harder to leave each other before death becomes an option. Besides, having friends is a bad idea in here. If you let them control something you value, you're just making yourself vulnerable." I felt as though this was my mouth's way of fighting back against Adri's mind games, but I already knew it was the wrong thing to say right now. After all, I had just said I didn't trust him, and now it sounded like I was looking forward to leaving him. After all of that, how did I have the right to call him a friend?

"So that's what you think I am? You think I'm becoming your weakness?" He said. His voice was smooth and low, like a venomous snake staying low before it struck.

"I didn't say that. I just don't want to hold you back. We both have our reasons to get out of here. I need to find my mother, and I'm sure you want to see your family. We don't need to get in the way of each others' goals. The more time we spend together, the harder it's going to be for us to dedicate ourselves to getting out of here at all costs." My mouth had stopped moving of its own accord, leaving me on my own as I tried to work my way out of the rut I'd been thrown in.

"Fine. We'll split up today, if that's how you feel." Adri said coldly.

No, no, no! I was screaming to myself. That wasn't what I was trying to say! I was just trying to calm you down, not leave you! "Is that what you want?" I found myself saying, my voice soft.

"I just want whatever will make you happy. You hardly need me, anyway. You can hunt, you've learned to start a fire, you can protect yourself, and you want to be independent." He said, his voice still hollow.

"It's too late. I already know I'll miss you after you leave." I murmured. I prayed that I'd said that right. I couldn't afford for him to misunderstand me any more. He was right, though. I didn't need him for protection or survival. I needed him as a companion. Just the thought of being in the arena without him was unbearable.

"Then I guess I'd better leave soon. No sense staying here and making things any worse for you. Heaven forbid you actually start to think of me as a friend, and not just someone who's bent on playing with your head." He said, and I heard the rustle of him standing up.

"Wait, that wasn't what I meant!" I shot up, dropping the canteen in the water in my haste. I whirled around and leaned over, trying to fish it out in case the Game makers planned on making all water sources undrinkable today.

"Don't bother, Winnie. You can keep everything. All your knives, the ropes, the sleeping bag. All of it." He said before whirling around and heading off with only his machete in its sheath and Park's sword.

I chased after him, clutching the canteen in my hands. "Adri! What about at night? How are you going to make it through the night without even a sleeping bag?" I could hear the pleading tone to my voice, and I felt pathetic. What I'd said had hurt him so much, and yet I was still trying to keep him with me.

"Don't worry about me. Just focus on getting out of here yourself." He instructed.

"Stop!" I took a flying leap and landed on his back, nearly knocking him off his feet. He grabbed onto the tree closest to him as he tried to steady himself.

"What the hell are you doing?" He demanded, turning to stare at me with wide eyes. He looked shocked and he sounded bewildered, and for a moment I felt relief wash over me. Being stunned was much better than being angry.

"At least take the canteen. And I can cut the sleeping bag in half. It's more than big enough for that. Granted, it might lose a lot of stuffing, but it's better than nothing in the cold."

Adri grimaced. "I don't want it. Now leave me alone before I kill you myself." He snapped, prying my hands off his shoulders. I dropped onto the ground, landing on my back on the hard rock. The wind rushed out of my lungs as I sat up and watched Adri walk away. I felt like I was suffocating, though I wasn't sure if it was from the fall or from his words and watching him leave.

I watched the last glimpse of him disappear as he headed down a distant hill, disappearing in the trees, and once again my mouth spoke of its own accord, whispering softly, "Don't leave me."