Trust Me

By the end of the day, I was starving. The fear had left me enough for me to regain my appetite, and I scarfed down everything I could get my hands on at dinner. Finnick’s jaw wasn’t as bruised as I thought it would have been, but I saw him apply some anti-bruise ointment. It was purely a cosmetic balm, which made me wonder why it existed, but I guessed he preferred using the ointment to hiding the bruise with makeup.

“I heard that someone hit the center of every single bulls-eye with a knife or spear today.” Finnick said, grinning. Everyone had been talking about the mysterious knife-thrower, and Finnick had obviously figured out that it was me.

I shrugged. “Don’t be too proud of me. I lost another mind game, which made me mad. Practicing with the knives just helped me get my anger out.”

“Who was it?” Finnick asked, but from his tone I could tell he knew who it was already.

“Adri. I think he was trying to flirt to throw me off at first, but I got through that without losing it. But when I was collecting the arrows, he shot one that landed just a few inches away from my face. That’s when I lost it.” I explained quietly before biting off a chunk of bread. Chewing gave me a good excuse not to talk.

Finnick sighed. “I don’t understand why that boy keeps trying to get to you. Normally the tributes just crack a person once, then leave them alone.”

“He doesn’t just want to crack me, he wants to break me.” I muttered. “There wasn’t even anyone else around to witness me lose it. It wasn’t a mind game to show my weakness, he already knew my weakness. I think it was just for personal entertainment.”

“That does sound like a Career.” Finnick realized with a sigh. “But I’m not going to blame you for freaking out when he shot that arrow. That was the right thing to do. Once you get in the arena, if someone shoots that close to your head, you duck and get out of there, because before you know it there’ll be another arrow coming for you, and I can almost guarantee it won’t miss you two times in a row.”

I shuddered, his ominous words threatening to chase away my appetite. I crammed as much food in my mouth as possible, trying to keep my strength up while I had the opportunity. I finally reached the point where I couldn’t fit one more bite down, and I flopped back in my seat and rubbed my belly happily.

Finnick laughed. “You really are cute, love.”

I crinkled my nose. “Being cute isn’t exactly working in my favor. Being cute is what’s going to get me killed.”

I hadn’t meant to kill the mood, but my words hung in the air like fog, darkening the atmosphere. Finnick and I sat in silence, listening to the loud music that came in off the streets of the Capitol. The song changed to a beautiful slow song, and Finnick stood up and marched over to my side.

“Care to dance?” He asked, stretching out a hand towards me.

I stared at his hand, wondering if he was going to try to play another mind game on me.

Finnick sighed, obviously knowing what I was thinking. “Humor me, please. I’ve only got a few days left with you until you run off into that arena.” I hesitantly took his hand, and before I could stand he pulled me to my feet and into his chest. I went to step back, thinking he hadn’t meant for me to be so close, but he wrapped one arm around my waist, keeping me pressed tightly against him. He took one of my hands in his and we began to dance. Or should I say, he began to dance, and I simply followed his lead.

Something about the moment was overwhelmingly tranquil, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I rested my head against his chest and breathed in his scent. At this point it had become something that relaxed me instantly. Whenever I could smell his scent I knew I was safe, nobody could hurt me. He always seemed to know what I wanted, and he had the courage to ask for it when I was too scared to. I knew it was just his job as a mentor, but I still felt indebted to him.

“I want to thank you, Finnick. From the bottom of my heart.” I said quietly. I wasn’t sure if I was going to regret saying this, but I knew that I’d better say it now. If I died in that arena, I’d never get a chance to say it.

“For what?” Finnick asked, pulling back slightly to give me a confused look.

I found myself lost in his beautiful sea-colored eyes. His eyes were filled with a sincerity and concern that I’d never seen before. I had never been close enough to fully appreciate how beautiful his eyes were – how beautiful he was. “For taking care of me. For truly having my best interests at heart. For understanding me in a way nobody else ever has.”

“It’s my job. I’m your mentor.” Finnick explained, absently brushing a lock of hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear.

“I don’t care. Whatever your reasons for doing this were, you’ve been amazing to me.” I said. “It’s the first time I’ve had someone genuinely concerned about me. It’s nice.”

Finnick did something I didn’t expect; he kissed my forehead. “Is it enough to give you the will to survive?” He asked hopefully.

“I have the will to survive. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have flinched when Adri shot that arrow near my head. I have just made the conscious decision that my life is not the most important in that arena, and it’s unfair for me to even try to kill someone else so I can survive and do nothing.” I explained. “If they die, friends and family will be devastated. If I die, a few people in my District might shed a tear, but that’ll be the end of it.”

“I’ll be devastated.” Finnick offered.

“Because it’s your job. You’re my mentor. If Kip hadn’t decided to train on his own, you’d say the exact same thing to him.” I said quietly. I knew it, but didn’t want to believe it was true. It felt like Finnick and I had developed some strange kind of friendship that went beyond just being tribute and mentor, but I had to remind myself that that was all it was.

“I’ve been a mentor before. I’m upset if my tribute dies, but I’m not devastated.” Finnick protested. “I like to think that you and I have become friends. Maybe that’s a bit too forward of me.” I was highly suspicious that he was just lying to me to try and persuade me, but I liked the idea of being friends too much to brush it off.

“No it’s not. You’re the only person I have here. I don’t even have the other tribute from my District. Plus, you’re the only one who seems to understand what I want. Except when you’re playing your mind games.” I added bitterly.

Finnick laughed. “I can’t help it. I have to do it in order to prepare you.”

I sighed. “I know, I know.” By this point the music outside had stopped, but Finnick made no move to stop dancing, and so neither did I.

“Do you know how depressing it is? The only tribute I have to mentor doesn’t even want to come out alive.” Finnick muttered.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “You still aren’t over that?”

“No, I’m not. You don’t see how much potential you have. The victor doesn’t win just because they have the largest family or the most friends. They win because they have the best approach. Besides, who’s to say that you wouldn’t meet many people and change their lives in the future?” Finnick pressed. “Do you have any idea how heartbreaking it is for me to watch you train so hard just to go into that arena and condemn yourself to certain death?”

“I’d die anyway, most likely. You’ve seen Ingrid and Adri. They want me dead. Me specifically, more than any of the other tributes. I bet they’ll form an alliance and fight over who gets to kill me. The girl who fell in front of all of Panem, the girl who keeps succumbing to the mind games.” I pointed out.

“Then stick it to them. Do it for me. Do it for Shalim. Do it to prove to your father that you’re better than he ever gave you credit for.” Finnick said. He was almost pleading with me at this point.

“Have you placed a large bet on me winning or something?” I asked. I hadn’t meant for it to sound so blunt, but it came out that way.

Finnick scoffed but brushed the comment off. “You’re the only tribute I’ve ever mentored that has their head screwed on straight. You’re the only person that I’ve felt really comfortable with since the Games. Maybe I’m being selfish, but it would be nice if the first person I feel like I can be good friends with doesn’t die before I get to know her better.”

I paused. “Fine. I’ll try to win.” I said quietly. Maybe his speech was getting to me, or maybe it was because I felt the same way about him being the first person I felt like I could be good friends with, but I couldn’t help but feel like I owed it to him to try to win.

Finnick wrapped me in a bone-crushing hug. “You’d better not break your promise, Winnie.” He warned.

“Okay,” I managed to choke out, still squashed in his arms. “But I think you might kill me before the other tributes even get a shot at me. Suffocation is nothing to joke about.”

Finnick laughed and loosened his grips before kissing my forehead again. “You should get to bed. You’ve got a long day ahead of you tomorrow.”

Of course. Tomorrow morning I’d awaken to spend a few more hours in the training arena, then I’d have a one-on-one session with a few of the Game makers so they could properly assess me and how dangerous I was, and then I’d have the interview with Caesar Flickerman. “I’m just going to go downstairs and practice a bit with a few more weapons. I want to get as much practice as I can.”

Finnick nodded and headed off to bed, but not before warning me not to stay out too late. I bit back a grin at how protective he was. Maybe we really were friends. Maybe he wasn’t just making this all up to make me feel better and give the Capitol a better show by trying to get me to want to live. Either way, I was in an exceptional mood as I snuck down to the training arena.