Miserably Loving You

I still remember the day I met Ashton I was 17. I'd just gotten fired from my job as a Nanny. It was horrible. I needed cash and Ashton needed a place to stay. I offered him a chance to live with me if he helped me pay the bills until I found a better job. I was graduating in a month in a half and my birthday was going to be a month later. He found me crying on a bench in the park. He asked me what was wrong and I told him about my parents and about my job as a nanny. He then asked me why I had gotten fired.

**flashback**

It's Saturday. Kimmy and Ellie had a birthday party sleepover to go to so when I arrived at 8 I quickly bathed and dressed them . Mr. Young told me I better come back after dropping them off because I had to make up for the girls being gone. I got them to the party at 12. Mr. Young was always like that. If someone couldn't participate in pleasuring him then someone else had to take the spot. Today it was me. Personally I'd rather it be me than those sweet little girls any day. They didn't deserve to be treated like that. When I came back I cleaned the house up a bit waiting till he was free. By 1 Mr. Young was just now entering the living room he grabbed my arm pulling me into the bedroom. He quickly stripped my clothes. "I've got a better idea for fun today", he said an evil smirk playing on his lips. He then stripped me naked, throwing me on the bed face down. He began to lick all over my body. I heard the sound of a condom being opened and that's when I got scared. I've never gone this far before. He's never gone this far with me before.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed that he had himself lined up to enter me. He quickly grabbed my hips thrusting my butt to meet him. Fear began to take over. One thrust and I realized he wasn't in me where I thought. He had a little pride after all. He quickly moved in and out of my butt. "I love you", he said. "I love you so much and that's why I'm doing this. I love you to the point I'd divorce my wife for you." He kissed me. "I fell in love with you. Through all of this I fell in love with you. YOU STUPID BITCH!", he growled. He grabbed my hair, "Was that the plan to make me love you?" He pulled my hair harder and harder with each passing second I didn't answer. "I don't believe in love", I said.

**20 minutes later**

No matter how many times he has forced me to do things for him. No matter what the price I pay will be. I will always fight on him having full sex with me. I'll never let anyone do that with me unless I'm married. Being married means being in love and I don't believe in love so it's never going to happen. Mr. Young began to get rougher with me. His thrusts hurting more than ever. The fact that Mrs. Young called him a 'gentle soul' that would never do such vulgar things makes me laugh. "Please stop", I cried. "Mr. Young please I'll do anything else just please stop" Tears were forming in my eyes. They began to spill over running down my cheeks. "I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME CHAD!"

"Chad!" I quickly turn my head crying my eyes out in the process. "Chad what are you doing to this poor girl. She's only 17. She's just a kid. MY GOD SHE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG." I look up tears still falling to face a shocked Mrs. Young. "Chad you better leave this house now or I am calling the police. I can't believe this. I thought this whole time, the girls and Gabriella were lying. You've been touching them." Mr. Young began to dress himself. "I--I NE--V.", he choked out." Mr. Young begins his search for something. "I don't even want to hear your excuses Chad", she barks. Grabbing his wallet he turns around. "I always wondered why you fought to have Gabriella stay after she made such an allegation. Now I know you just wanted her as your toy. Just leave and don't come back unless I tell you too", Mrs. Young said furious.

Mr. Young left the room. As he was leaving he turned to me and said, "I'm sorry Gabriella somewhere between all this mess I fell in love with you. You were different from my wife. You made me feel alive again. Somewhere in my head I thought loving you meant I could use you to do want I want. I thought I could make you love me back. I thought that I could make you feel as alive as I felt. Every time you defied me it just made me want you more. I'M S-O S-O-R-R." "SAVE IT", I shot The next thing I know I heard the car driving off. I quickly began to get dressed. "As for you Gabriella. You are fired. I know you tried to tell me but if you really didn't want it going on then why did you stay. You are to blame just as much as him. Making my own husband say he's in love with you . I will not have this going on in my house. As far as another job. If you so much as say a word I'll make sure your nanny days are over. I'll pay you $1000 if you don't tell anyone and for the trouble of being fired so quickly. Please grab your things and do not come back. I'll make sure the girls know you said goodbye." , she calmly stated. Sobbing I grab my things and drive home. I need a job.

On my way home I pass a park. I park and get out. Sitting on the bench I begin to get lost in my thoughts. I never thought it'd end like this. I've gotten my way out, which is what I always wanted but now I'm always going to wonder about the girls. I'm always going to hope Ellie and Kimmy did too. I'd been sitting on the bench so long and lost in my own misery that I didn't even notice that I was crying and someone was sitting beside. Looking up I meet a boy not much older than me with worn clothes. Next to him is a bag which appears to have all of his belongings. "Are you alright?" "I guess? I just got fired from my job. My mom's basically dead to me and my dad died of a heart attack." , I said. He turns me to face him speaking with a slight smile on his lips, "Well if it helps I'm 18 my parents are gone. They just up and left me. We didn't have any money so I became homeless. I just started a job at a bar two days ago but I'm living on the streets" Surprised by this boy who seems so nice. "I'm Gabby", I say. Shaking my hand he says, "Ashton" I can't help but smile. "Well Ashton it just so happens that I'm living all alone in a house that's way too big for me and I don't have any income other than the parting $1000 Mrs. Young gave me when she fired me. Would you like to stay with me?"

**end of flashback**

And that's how our friendship began. It started out with a horrible day and ended up with someone I could trust. 3 months after I turned 18 Ashton got me a job at the same bar he worked at. The house was too much to take care of between the two of us so I sold it 6 months later. We could barely keep the bills up.I used some of the house money to buy Ashton a car to get to and from work and the other half for a down payment on an apartment for me and then one for Ashton. Ashton was no longer living with me. He moved in with his girlfriend Kathy when I moved out of the house.
We are still really good friends. In fact he is the first person I've trusted in a long time. We can share things that nobody else knows. I still can't believe Ashton got me a job at the bar. I still need the money. I spent so much of the money from the house on other things that I never thought long term. I also spent a little bit on some classes at the local community college. Photography classes to be exact. I want to be a photographer some day. I've always loved the camera. It's like a free ticket to anywhere. I saved up for a few months and by the time I turned 20 I bought myself a really great camera. Top of the line. Its been one of the first few things that I bought myself that I've loved. I take it everywhere.
I even make Kathy and Ashton my subjects. I once told them that when they get married I call taking the engagement photos. Of course they both laughed at me since they haven't been dating but 2 years. I see a future with together. Which is funny. I can see so much love between the two of them and any time they bring up me finding the perfect person I turn them down. I don't believe in love. I guess part of me thinks that if you love someone you wouldn't hurt them. You can't say you love someone and then force them to do such things. It's not possible. It was the moment when Mr. Young said he loved me. That moment I realized that I don't believe in love.