Be Calm

To say Regan Mercin life was complicated would be an understatement.

She laid in her bed staring at the sleeping man next to her. She studied his face slowly as he slept. He looked complete calm as he slept. She looked away quickly as he opened his eyes. His grey eyes stared at her as she looked back at him.

“Regan were you watching me sleep?” He asked sitting up as he ran his fingers through his messy bed head.

“How creepy it sounds yes.” She bit her bottom lip slowly.

Every day Regan would ask herself what life would be like if she never met him, and what would have happened if she would have turned him down when he asked her out.

“You know my mom wants you to come over tonight for dinner.” He said wrapping his arms around her small waist.

“Trent I can’t I have to work late tonight.” She said as he rest his head lightly on her shoulder.

“I feel like I never get to spend any more time with my wife.” He slowly whispered in her ear.

“I know I’m really busy with work right now.” Regan pulled away from his hold and grabbed her dress off the bed.

“I know you are doll.” He said running his fingers through his still messy hair as she got dressed. “Can we please have dinner tomorrow night together?”

“Yeah I’ll switch shifts with Kate so she can close tomorrow night.” She pulled on her shoes on.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll see you after work.” She said walking towards him and quickly pressing her lips to his.

Regan walked out the front door and took a deep breath. She hated that she lied to Trent all the time. She didn’t have work today she had the day off, but today she had something very important today. She pulled out her phone to see she had a text from him.

John (mobile)
Are you coming over?

She read the text before she got into her car. She quickly texted him back and told him she would be over as soon as she stopped at the store.

Regan frantically searched through her purse trying to find her wallet. She looked up to find the Starbucks barista with annoyed look plastered on her face. “I know it’s in here.” She said looking down at her purse as she continued you too look.

“I got it.” She looked up to see to see a tall lean guy with brown hair paying for her drink.

“Thank you. I can’t believe I’m such a ditz and forgot my wallet at home.” She said running her fingers through her messy blonde hair.

Today just wasn’t her day everything that could wrong was going wrong for her. The day started off bad with her and Trent fighting over her not going over to his parent’s house for Thanksgiving.

“It’s no problem.” He smiled. “I’m John by the way.” He said sticking his hand out.

“Regan.” She said as she shook his hand.

She pulled up to Walgreens and went to the isle she need to go down. She bit her lip looking at all the choice and quickly grabbed one. She walked over and grabbed herself a Gatorade and walked to the register. She felt embarrassed as the lady rang her up. She quickly paid and got in her car.

When she got to John’s house she quickly walked up and knocked on the door. She felt suddenly nervous as she heard John walked towards the door. She felt her heart start to pound when John opened the door with a smile on his face. “Hey Reg.” He said grabbing her hand and pulling her inside.

“Hi.” She whispered as she let go of his hand. She walked right towards his room. She heard him right behind her.

“Reg what’s wrong?” He asked as she sat down on his bed.

“John…” She stopped and looked at the ground. She didn’t even know what to say to him.

“Regan you’re scaring me what’s wrong?” He sat done next to her and rested his big and on her knee. He had a million thoughts running through his head. He really thought she was going to break up with him.

John knew what he was getting into when him and Regan started sleeping together. He knew that she was married to Trent and that she loved him. The thing was John knew in his heart that Regan loved him more. She just couldn’t bring herself to end her marriage with Trent.

“John… I think I’m pregnant, but I’m not sure.” She bit her lip refusing to look at him.

“Okay.” He said feeling his heart start to race. He wasn’t sure what to say or do. He sure as hell wasn’t ready to be a father, but if he was going to be he would sure as hell step up to the plate and be the best dad he could possibly be. Then the thought crossed his mind that if she was pregnant it might not be his.

He turned sheet white at the thought that the baby could be Trent’s.

“I’m gonna take a test to see if I am before we even talk about this.” She said standing up and reaching into her purse and pulling out the test. She walked into the bathroom and did what she needed to do and sat it down on counter. Regan walked back into John’s room to find him sitting on the floor leaning against the foot of his bed.

”Where does Trent think you are right now?” John asked after they ordered lunch.

“He thinks I’m at my mom’s house.” She bit her lip looking at the table.

Ever since her she met John that day at Starbucks she had started hanging out with him on a regular basis until one day they took their friendship to the next level. After a night a drinking some how Regan ended up in John’s bed. When they woke up the next morning Regan told John she couldn’t see him anymore. The thing was Regan didn’t even last week until she hung out with John again. When she slept with John she felt a rush that she didn’t feel with Trent.

At first they just stayed friends for a few weeks and before they knew they were back in John’s bed.

“So he has no idea about us?” He asked looking at her.

“He has no idea.” She ran her fingers through her messy hair. “You know I never intended for this all to work out this way?”

“I know you didn’t. I never intended to fall in love with you, but here we are.” He said giving her a half smile.

“Here we are.” He bit her bottom lip. “I never thought I would be that girl who is married and in love with another man.”

“How long do we have to wait?” He asked looking into her blue eyes.

“We have to wait five minutes.” Regan sat down next to him and crossed her legs Indian style.

“This is going to be the longest five minutes of my life.” He said as he licked his chapped lips.

“I know mine too.” She said looking back at the ground. “I know what you want to ask.”

“What do I want to ask?” John said looking at her as she looked at the ground. She was messing with her shoe lace nervously.

“Is it yours or is it Trent’s.” She said simply like they weren’t talking about an unborn child.

“Whose is it?”

“Every time I sleep with Trent we’ve been safe, and we haven’t been a few times.” As the words left her lips she felt completely guilty.

Regan stood up and walked into the bathroom and picked up the stick. Her heart dropped as she looked at the stick. There were two lines. Two lines meaning her affair with John led to them conceiving a child.

“Reg what does it say?” He asked feeling his heart pound out of his chest.

“I’m pregnant.” She said as tears started streaming down her cheeks. She sat down on the cool bathroom floor still holding the pregnancy test. She didn’t start to sob till John wrapped his arms around her pulling her into his chest.

“It’s going to be okay.” He whispered into her ear as she sobbed.

“What do we do?” She said fighting to catch her breath.

“I want to be in this kid’s life.”

“Is that really an opinion?” She said resting her head on his tear strained shirt.

“Of course it is, and Regan you need to end things with Trent.” John rested his chin on top of her blonde head.

“I know I do. I feel like the biggest slut right now. I’m gonna have to tell my husband I’m pregnant by another man.”

“It’s going to be okay.” He pressed his lips lightly to the top of her head.

“I hope so.” She said as tears continued to slide down her pale cheeks. “John I honestly can’t tell Trent about this. He’ll be complete heart broken.” She said as she started to sob fighting to catch her breath.

“Then I guess you won’t.” John said rubbing her back. “Regan I love you and everything, but if you are going to stay with Trent this is over.” He whispered. Just telling her it was over broke his heart. He cringed at the thought of another man raising his child.

5 years later

“Mommy I was on green today.” Ryland said running over and hugging his mom.

“That’s great baby.” Regan said picking up her son. As she looked at him she couldn’t help but notice how much he looked like John at that moment. He had John’s bright green eyes and smile. She was happy that his ended up with her blonde hair, but she remembered John telling her how he used to have blonde hair as a child. She always wondered if Ryland’s hair would stay blonde.

“I got to say we had a great kid.” Trent said walking over and kissing her on the cheek. “He’s also quite good looking.” Trent laughed.

“Ew.” Ryland said wiggling out of his mom’s hold.

“Kid it’s not gross I love you mom.” Trent said laughing.

“It is too.” Ryland said walking down the hall towards his bedroom.

“I love you.” Trent said wrapping his arms around her thin waist pulling her close to him. “I lucked out finding you.” He slowly pressed his lips to her enjoying a moment of silence before Ryland came running back into the living room.

“Daddy can you take me to the park?” Ryland asked as he messed with his t-shirt he was wearing.

“Sure bud.” He said reaching down and grabbing his hand. “Dude why don’t you ask mommy to go, and then we can get ice cream afterwards.

“Mommy please go so we can get ice cream.”

“Of course I’ll go.”

After they were done at the park, the three of them walking into the ice cream parlor in the town center by their house. Regan’s heart about stopped when she saw an extremely familiar pair of green eyes sitting at one of the tables with a group of guys. Before she could look away John looked up and saw Regan holding hands with her son. She shot him and apologetic look before walking towards Trent who was looking at the menu.

As Trent was ordering with Ryland Regan pulled out her phone and quickly texted John. She hoped he still had his same number. The two of them hadn’t talked in over two years. For the first three years of Ryland’s life Regan tried her hardest to let John know as much as possible about him. Regan would always see him and give him pictures of him. Then one day John asked Regan if he would ever be able to spend time with his son and Regan told him no. It broke his heart he was never going to be able to really know his son.

Regan felt her phone vibrate and looked to see she had a text from John.

John (mobile)
He looks like me.

She felt her heart race and she quickly looked across the table at Trent and Ryland eating their ice cream care free.

I know he does.

She hated that she was living a lie. I really wished she was able to tell Trent that Ryland wasn’t his, but she knew that would break his heart. Ryland was his world, and if Regan took that away from him it would kill him.

John (mobile)
Can we meet up tomorrow?

Regan knew deep down inside she really should have told him no. She really shouldn’t have even been talking to John.

Come by my house tomorrow at 10.

She knew Trent would be at work and Ryland would be at school.

The whole rest of the night Regan felt like a bundle of nerves. She wished that she’d never seen John earlier that day. “Hey doll why are you acting so strange?” Trent asked as he crawled into bed.

“I just don’t feel to well.” She lied.

“Well do you want me to stay home and take care of you tomorrow?” He asked pulling her into his chest.

“No I’ll be fine tomorrow morning.” She said closing her eyes.

In the morning Regan got Ryland ready for school as Trent made breakfast for all three of them. “Ryland do you want to wear the grey or black shirt?” She asked holding up the two shirts.

“Grey please.” He gave her toothy grin.

The two of them walked into the kitchen to find Trent sitting their plates down on the table. “Dig in.” He smiled before giving Regan a quick good morning kiss.

“Ry you got ten minutes to eat, and then me and you are off.” Trent said before taking a drink of coffee.

“Okie dokie dad.” Ryland smiled before taking a huge bite of beacon.

The guys left and Regan sat around waiting for it to be ten. She didn’t know why she was so nervous. She also had no idea what her and John were going to talk about which put her on edge.

When the doorbell rang she about jumped out of her skin. She opened the door to find uneasy John standing there. “Hey.” He said awkwardly.

“Come in.” She said.

They walked into the kitchen and sat down across from each other. They stared awkwardly at each for a few minutes before John finally spoke. “He has my eyes.”

“I know he does.”

“Does he ever ask why he doesn’t have blue eyes like both of you?” John really hoped that Trent wondered if Ryland was his or not.

“No because my mom has green eyes.”

“You know I feel like it’s unfair that he get’s to raise my kid.” As soon as the words left his mouth they both heard some one clear their throat. Regan looked to find Trent standing there with an unreadable look on his face.

“Regan what is he talking about?” Trent asked.

“Trent I’m sorry.” She said standing up and rushing over towards him.

“Ryland isn’t mine.” He said pulling his arm away from her as she tried to grab it. She didn’t say anything she just shook her head. “I should have known you were cheating.”

“I’m sorry.” She said as she started to cry.

John sat at the kitchen table in silence. He really had no idea what to say or do. He always wondered what was going to happen the day Trent found out that Ryland wasn’t his. How much John wanted to openly be involved in his son’s life he also felt really bad for Trent. There Trent was thinking that he had the perfect wife and son, when in all honesty he didn’t have a son, and his wife cheated on him.

“This is bullshit.” He seethed.

A year later

“So when is Trent dropping Ryland off?” John asked walking into his kitchen.

“In about a half hour.” She said pouring herself a glass of ice tea. “Trent’s also going to bring over the final divorcé papers.”

“How do you feel about your marriage finally being over?” John asked reaching into the cupboard and grabbing himself a glass.

“Like I’m a horrible person, but hey that’s nothing new.” She said walking passed John.

“You are not a horrible person.”

Ever since Trent found out about Ryland being John’s he became really bitter. After fighting nonstop for about two weeks him and Regan talked it out and decided it would be best if they got divorced. Two day’s later Regan moved out and moved in with her mom. Regan and Trent both decided it would be best if they split custody of Ryland, even if Ryland wasn’t really his. After two months of living with her mom John asked her to move in with him so he could be part of Ryland’s life. One night Trent, Regan, John, and Ryland had dinner together and the three of them told Ryland that John was is actual dad, but Trent was still going to be there for him.

Regan sat at the kitchen table reading a new text from Trent.

“What does Trent have to say?” John asked sitting across from her.

“He wants to know if he can take Ryland tomorrow night.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him of course he could.”

“Regan I love you.” John said giving her a smile.

“I love you too John.”