I Could Never Pretend

Around a half an hour later the girls had finished getting ready and they made their way downstairs where the guests had started to arrive. The others went into the living room while Amelia made her way into the kitchen where Johnny, Jeff and Spike were pouring drinks. The three mean simultaneously turned their heads and stared at her as she walked in.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” She asked, putting a hand to her cheek. They shook their heads, seemingly mesmerised but Amelia paid no attention. “Spike!” she exclaimed, hurrying over to her friend as quickly as possible in her heels. “I’ve missed you.”

“Melia, it’s been too long!” Spike replied, wrapping his arms around her. “How have you been? How was England? Is Knoxville still stalking you?”

Amelia laughed. “I’ve been great, England was wonderful and yes unfortunately he’s still stalking me.” She smiled.

“I’ll have words with him.” Spike smiled and tapped his nose, ignoring the fact that Johnny was standing less than a metre away. “It really is great to see you Amelia. Oh, and happy birthday!” he passed a gift bag to her and hugged her once again.

Johnny tapped Spike on the shoulder. “Do you think I could have my girlfriend back for a minute?” he grinned.

Spike rolled his eyes. “Is that what you’re calling her now? You know, they’ve locked people like you up before. I think we should have a chat later.”

“I’ll come and find you.” Johnny nodded, patting his friend on the shoulder while Jeff looked on in amusement.

“My friends are weirdoes.” He muttered, edging closer to Amelia.

“You’re all weirdoes.” She told him, pushing him away as he got closer.

“That hurts Amelia. You really cut me deep.” Jeff pouted, pouring himself a large glass of wine and a smaller one for Laura, who Amelia imagined would not be impressed by the size difference.

“You’ll get over it.” She smiled and turned to Johnny. “Hey.”

“Well hello there ma’am. To what do I owe this pleasure?” He asked, putting on a thick southern accent as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I’m looking for a gentleman to buy me a drink.” She played along bringing her head up to his. “Do you know of any?” She whispered.

“No, but I’d be happy to oblige.” He smiled, expertly passing her a huge bottle of Jack Daniels.

“My hero.” She swooned, kissing him softly on the lips.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you are?” Johnny asked, pulling away from Amelia and looking her up and down. Amelia blushed and straightened out her purple dress. “You look stunning.”

“Thanks.” She smiled, turning away to fix Johnny and herself a drink. “You’re not looking too bad yourself.”

“Thank you pretty lady.” Johnny pretended to blush. “I guess we better go and supervise our guests. I think Pontius just arrived. I’ll have to steal you later though.” He smirked and kissed her fast and hard before leading the way out of the kitchen.

Amelia hesitated and let him go ahead. She decided to open Spike’s present while she was alone, just in case it was embarrassing. She wouldn’t put anything past that man. His cute and innocent appearance was nothing more than a ruse to divert suspicion away from him. Spike, in fact, was often the lead instigator on set. Amelia gulped as she reached into the bag. To her surprise she pulled out a canvas. Printed on the canvas was a cast and crew photo that had been taken during the filming for Jackass 2. There was also a pair of tickets to Spike’s latest film premiere and a video camera wrapped in a big red ribbon. Amelia smiled and tried not to shed a tear at the thoughtful gifts that Spike had given her. She hurried off to find and thanks him.

The party was in full swing and Amelia was feeling tipsy from the considerable amount of alcohol she had consumed. Brandon was safely tucked up in one of Johnny’s guest rooms and now she could really let her hair down. Or at least she could have, if the email she had just received from Harry Clark was not playing on her mind. It had just been a quick, informal message to say that Bam was still going ahead with the case, which she had fully expected. However, she had been having such a good time that it had taken her completely unaware and now she was left with a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Can I give you your present now?” Amelia felt Johnny walk up behind her and whisper into her ear.

“I guess that depends what it is.” She forced herself to smile as she turned around to face him.

“Oh I like your thinking.” Johnny grinned mischievously. “But you’ll have to wait until our guests have gone for that part of your present.” Amelia laughed slightly and hit Johnny on the arm. “Ok, ok, seriously.” Johnny regained composure and handed her a small brown envelope.

“What is it?” she asked, looking at him wide eyed.

“The idea is, you open it and find out.” Johnny grinned, looking at her expectantly, causing Amelia to blush a little at her own stupidity as she opened the envelope carefully. Inside the envelope were two plane tickets to the Maldives for the New Year.

“Oh Johnny, you shouldn’t have!” Amelia gasped in surprise

“I have a friend who owns a villa over there. I figured we were due sometime to ourselves.” Johnny smiled.

Amelia was stunned. She had always wanted to visit the Maldives and Johnny was right, it would be nice to spend some quality time alone. Even in England they hadn’t been alone, especially as most nights Johnny had slept in the guest room due to Amelia only having a single bed. The chance to be alone would be most welcome, if only it wasn’t so close to the court date, Amelia thought. She was struggling to enjoy her own birthday party months before the date so how was she going to be able to take her mind off it less than a month before?

Amelia did not voice her concerns to Johnny. How could she when he had presented her with such a wonderful gift? Instead, she thanked him profusely and tried to hide any trace of doubt in her voice. The last thing she wanted was for Johnny to think she was being ungrateful so after a while she made her excuses and headed upstairs. What she needed was some time to clear her head and she found herself flopping down on one of Johnny’s guest beds. As awful as she felt for hiding away upstairs when everyone was there for her, she couldn’t face anyone at that moment, not even Johnny.

“Amelia? Is everything ok?” she heard Johnny ask and she looked up to see him standing in the doorway. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“I’m fine.” She smiled. “Sorry for making you worry. I just needed a few minutes.” Amelia shrugged and stared into her wine glass. Johnny sat down on the bed beside her and gently slipped his arm around her waist. “But you should go back down and have fun.” She told him.

Johnny shook his head. “It’s not any fun without you.” He replied, resting his chin on her shoulder. “It’s your big day after all. I know something’s wrong. You want to talk about what’s bothering you?”

Amelia shook her head and Johnny pulled back. “I don’t want to ruin the evening. Please PJ, just go and enjoy the party. Someone needs to keep Pontius under control.” She smiled weakly but her words had come out more forcefully than she had intended. “I’ll be fine.” She added.

Johnny was not convinced but he stood up and squeezed her shoulder before walking away. Once the door was closed Amelia sighed and flopped back down on the bed with her eyes closed. Immediately she felt guilty for telling him to leave and being ungrateful for all the effort he and Laura had put into tonight. She didn’t want to be a spoil sport but she was finding it hard to relax and have fun when her future was hanging in the balance and as much as she loved the idea of going to the Maldives, she didn’t know how she would be able to enjoy it with the custody case looming. She sighed out loud. She felt bad for pushing Johnny away but she wanted him to have a good time tonight. He had gone above and beyond anything she could have expected and he deserved to have some fun.

“Amelia? Can I come in?” She heard Laura’s voice outside the door.

“Sure.” She replied feebly, not bothering to get up.

“Is everything ok hun?” Laura asked as she approached the bed. “PJ thinks you’re mad at him.”

“I’m not mad at him.” Amelia sighed. “I just needed some space.”

Laura took a seat on the end of the bed. “It is kind of crazy down there. Pontius is in full party boy mode. I think Claire’s at her wits’ end”

Amelia smiled slightly at the thought of Chris driving his girlfriend insane in his little thong and bow tie. “Guess I’ve had a lucky escape up here.”

“Yeah, but you’re missing your party. Everyone’s here for you, you know.”

“I’m sorry Laura. I’m a horrible friend. You’ve gone to so much effort.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m just worried about you. We’re worried about you, especially PJ. I know you’ve got a lot on your mind but you don’t have to keep it all locked up. That’s what I’m here for. You know you can talk to me about anything right? Even if you feel you can’t talk to Johnny...” Laura rubbed Amelia’s back.

“Thanks Laura. I’m sorry for shutting you out. I guess I just didn’t want to bother you with my problems. You’ve got so much going on, what with the wedding...” Amelia sat up and tried to flatten her hair.

“Don’t be silly Meels.” Laura interrupted her and smoothed her hair down at the back. “You’re my best friend and that’s more important than choosing what flowers I’m going to have.” Laura smiled and squeezed Amelia’s hand. “Now are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

Amelia smiled weakly and filled Laura in on Harry’s email. “It’s silly really. I didn’t expect him to drop it so easily but now that I know it’s going all the way to court I can’t stop worrying about it.”

Laura put an arm around Amelia and hugged her tight. “You know you should have just told us right? Stop worrying about everyone else and just think of yourself for a change.”

Amelia nodded and bit her lip. “Does Johnny really think I’m pissed at him?”

“Well he did present you with that gift and then you disappeared up here. He thinks you don’t want to go with him. I think you should go and talk to him, but not before I’ve got some more wine down you.” Laura produced a wine bottle seemingly out of thin air and proceeded to fill up Amelia’s half empty glass on the bedside table. “Now drink.” She commanded.

Amelia laughed and took the glass off Laura, while her friend set about restoring her hair to an acceptable state. “Thank you Laura.” Amelia smiled after taking a large sip of wine and allowing Laura to wipe away the smudging of mascara from underneath her eyes.

“There you go Cinderella. Now go and find your Prince Charming!”

Amelia made her way through the crowd of people in the living room and she found Johnny outside on the decking having a cigarette. She moved so softly that he did not hear her come up behind him and it wasn’t until he felt her hot breath on the back of his neck that he realised he was not alone. Instantly he whipped around to see Amelia standing there, looking apologetic.

“I’m sorry for pushing you away PJ. Harry emailed to say that Bam’s not dropping the case and it’s been playing on my mind.” She sighed, feeling stupid and pathetic. “I didn’t want to ruin your night with my worrying but I guess I just made everything worse.”

Johnny cut her off by standing up and swiftly taking her in his arms. “I’m so sorry for making you think I was mad at you or that I didn’t like your gift.” She continued, mumbling into Johnny’s shoulder as he held her close to his body. “I love it.”

“Shush its ok.” Johnny whispered, stroking her hair. “You don’t have to apologise for a single thing. I was just worried about you. You know you could never ruin my night. So promise not to keep everything bottled up in future?”

“I promise.” Amelia replied, pulling away slightly so that she could stand on her tiptoes and lean forward to kiss him. Johnny leant down to return the kiss and pulled her even closer to him, his hands working their way up and down Amelia’s back, causing goose bumps to rise on her skin. She brought her arms up around his neck, forcing him to kiss her harder and she nibbled his lip. Before either of them had a chance to make their next move they were suddenly interrupted by a naked figure streaking past them and diving off the decking into the swimming pool.

Johnny and Amelia pulled apart and made their way to the edge of the pool to see who it was, not that it took much guessing. Pontius was floating on his back, completely naked with an insane grin across his face. “Steve dared me!” He yelled up at them, offering an explanation.

“I think I need another drink after that sight.” Johnny shuddered and Amelia followed close behind him as he made his way back into the house. She in turn was followed by a dripping wet and still naked Pontius who was shortly tackled by Jeff and Spike, who were brandishing a towel.

“Thank God for that.” Claire sighed in relief as her boyfriend was brought to the floor by the two men. “Will you put him to bed as well?” she pleaded, but Jeff shook his head.

“Oh no. That’s your job.” Jeff laughed and pushed the Pontius bundle in Claire’s arms.

“Aren’t you glad that I’m not like that?” Johnny grinned as he and Amelia watched the scene from the safety of the living room sofa.

“Oh I don’t know, you have your moments.” Amelia teased, elbowing him gently in the ribs and taking the bottle of Jack Daniels from him.

“Ouch! Hey, when was the last time I was that drunk?” Johnny asked, folding his arms over his chest protectively.

“Well in all fairness I haven’t seen you like that in a while.” Amelia conceded, taking a swig from the bottle. “But I’ve seen you like that plenty of times in the past.”

Johnny shuddered as he remembered at least one of the times she was referring to. It had occurred during the filming of Jackass 2 and he had joined Steve-O on one of his drinking benders. Normally Johnny would know when to call it a night but for some inexplicable reason he had decided to carry in partying with Steve and Pontius into the early hours of the morning and Amelia had discovered him wandering around the hotel in his underwear looking for his room. As she loved to remind him she had practically carried him to his room, where he wouldn’t let her leave until he had fallen asleep. In retrospect he knew exactly why he had gone on the bender. Amelia and Bam had been arguing that day and now Johnny could explain his volatile emotions.

“You were so cute that night.” Amelia mused and Johnny realised that they had been thinking about the same night. “I had to tuck you in to bed and stroke your hair while you fell asleep.”

“Cute?” Johnny raised his eyebrows as he reclaimed the Jack Daniels . “Not sexy or irresistible?”

“Not when you were drooling slightly and you’d already thrown up in the bathroom.” She reminded him with a smirk.

“Aren’t you a lucky woman?” He teased, throwing his arms around Amelia and licking her face.

“It’s not too late for me to take you back to the store you know.” She groaned, wiping his slobber from her cheek.