I Could Never Pretend

Once Amelia had assured Rick that there was no way on earth she would stoop to his levels, she left the table along with Dimitry and Cliver. Although she definitely didn’t buy into what Rick was trying to say, she felt a mixture of amusement and intrigue as to what the producers really were talking about outside. In the past she had never been bothered or even had second thoughts as to what Johnny, Jeff and Spike got up to during their private meetings, but Rick had certainly managed to pique her curiosity. Amelia considered nosing outside under the pretence of a cigarette break but she soon realised that this was exactly the kind of act that Rick had been trying to solicit from her in the first place. Scolding herself for even thinking of snooping, she made her way over to the table where Rose, Ryan, Steve and Josie were sitting and occupying Brandon.

“How’s my little man doing?” She smiled, watching Josie coo over the toddler.

“He’s been an angel as usual.” Rose assured her, bouncing Brandon on her lap. “How are you holding up?” She glanced surreptitiously in the direction of her brother in law.

“Holding up?” Amelia raised an eyebrow at her sister as she took a seat between Josie and Rose. “I’m absolutely fine. I wish people would stop making it into a big deal.”

“It’s a wedding Amelia. There’s always some kind of emotional drama involved.” Ryan reminded her, rather cynically.

“I’ll remember that. It’ll be your turn next.” Steve nudged Ryan with a smirk on his face.

Ryan visibly cringed at the thought of so much unwanted attention, while Amelia and Rose both chose to ignore the comment. “So have you actually spoken to him?” Rose asked, changing the subject back to Amelia.

“By ‘him’ I assume you mean my husband?” Amelia sighed, wishing she had gone for that cigarette after all.

“The one and only.” Rose assured her.

“Yes, briefly. Now if you don’t mind I’d like to enjoy the rest of my night without hearing his name mentioned every few minutes.” Amelia laughed, but everyone at the table could tell that she was not joking.

“Sorry sis. Here, I got you a drink.” Rose apologised, passing a large glass of red wine towards Amelia.

“Have I told you lately what a great sister you are?” Amelia teased, taking a large sip.

“No, feel free to tell me some more.” Rose laughed. “I promise I’ll stop interfering now.”

“Thanks.” Amelia grinned.

Meanwhile outside Jeff, Johnny, Spike and Trip were standing on the hotel terrace overlooking the beautiful grounds. An expensive Cuban cigar was making the rounds and a bottle of the finest whiskey on offer had somehow been procured.

“I propose a toast.” Spike announced, holding up his glass. “To Tremaine and his new wife.”

The other men toasted Jeff, before turning to the business at hand. Trip took it upon himself to refill everyone’s glasses. “So gentlemen. I don’t mean to turn this into a business meeting, but under the circumstances I feel it would be a good opportunity to rebuild some bridges and potentially make some headway before our meeting with the studio next month.”

“Whoa, hold your horses there Trip. I’ve had a few too many of these and can’t quite take in what you’re trying to tell me in business-speak.” Johnny laughed, gesturing to his drink.

“He means, Bam’s here so we should go cosy up to him and try to get him back on side.” Spike patted Johnny on the shoulder, laughing.

Johnny glanced at Jeff, remembering their conversation from the night before. He had already drank way more than he had intended, so as far as he was concerned, avoiding Bam like the plague was the best way to keep his promise to Jeff. “I hope to God you don’t mean me.” He mumbled.

“No, definitely not.” Jeff assured him with a stern look on his face, as if daring Johnny to even try speaking to Bam.

“Good.” Johnny said quietly, so that no one could hear him. All he wanted was to carry on and enjoy his evening. It was difficult enough trying to stay away from Amelia, but pretending to be friendly to Bam was a whole different level of impossibility.

Johnny half listened to the rest of the conversation but his heart was not really in it. He was missing Amelia, which was silly considering she had been in the same room as him all evening, but all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and have her close to him again. After having gone so long without being able to be with her, any time apart from her now felt like some kind of cruel and unjust punishment. Not only that, but knowing Bam was also in the same room made Johnny feel uncomfortable.

“Gotta take a leak.” Johnny charmingly informed his cohorts, then making his way back inside. In reality he just wanted to see Amelia. He had her in his sights, hoping for a clandestine make out session in the hotel lobby, but before he could reach her table he had been confronted by his ex wife, who was disappointed that he had not come to talk to her yet. The make out session would just have to wait, he thought, letting Mel drag him away to the table where she was sitting.

***

Amelia had continued to make small talk with the two couples for a while, but as soon as she noticed that Jeff had come back inside she made her excuses, desperate to hurry away for a much needed cigarette without looking as if she was indeed spying on the producers.

“I’ll come with you.” Josie offered. “I don’t really know anyone else who smokes.” She smiled nervously.

“Oh don’t worry, you soon will.” Amelia assured her as they made their way outside. “You’ll find that although the majority of people here claim they don’t smoke, they all pop out for the occasional nicotine fix when they think no one’s looking. Jeff’s the worst for it.”

Josie laughed and offered Amelia one from her own pack. “Quitting the booze was hard enough. I don’t think I’d cope if I’d tried to give up smoking too.”

“Are you having a nice time?” Amelia asked, not wanting to make Josie feel awkward by lingering on the subject of bad habits.

“Yeah I am. It’s great to meet so many of Steve’s friends.” She smiled as she lit her cigarette.

“So what’s going on with you two, if you don’t mind me asking?” Amelia had not spoken to Steve much since her last visit and she was keen to know whether or not he had made his move yet.

Josie suddenly turned a bright shade of red, which clashed vividly with her blue hair. Amelia looked at her expectantly. “Well he sort of asked me out a couple of weeks ago. So we’re taking things slow and we’ll just see what happens. He’s a great guy.”

“Yeah he is. I’m really happy for you.” Amelia grinned, and gave Josie a hug.

“Thank you.”

Amelia and Josie chatted for a while over their cigarettes and exchanged phone numbers before they were interrupted. Amelia looked up to see Bam standing a few feet away, hands in his pockets and cigarette resting between his lips.

“Can I have a word?”

Before Amelia could reply, Josie was making her excuses and heading back inside, clearly not wanting to be in the way of whatever was to follow.

“I suppose.” Amelia shrugged and pulled out another cigarette as Bam made his way closer. She was having too good a time to let him get to her tonight. If he wanted to talk that was fine. She didn’t necessarily have to keep listening if she didn’t like what she heard.

Bam took a seat at one of the patio tables and gestured for Amelia to join him. She wasn’t overly keen on the idea but she perched on the edge of a seat nonetheless. Needing a little Dutch courage she stealthily grabbed a glass of wine from a passing waiter and turned back to look at Bam. Under the outdoor lighting his skin looked sallow and there were dark circles under his eyes. She hadn’t noticed how ill he looked this morning as she had been too shocked to see him there in the first place. She could tell that his hair was in need of cutting and it looked as if he had put on weight. Still, she had no room to feel bad for him, considering how much stress he was putting her under with the custody case. She wondered if she should bring it up.

“I need to ask you something about Brandon.” He stated, interrupting her thoughts.

Amelia flinched and took a large sip of wine. “I’m not really sure I want to talk about that now, unless you’re going to tell me you’ve changed your mind.”

“No I’m not on about that. How does he remember me?” Bam stared at her and stubbed his cigarette out.

“What do you mean?”

“He knows my name. He called me daddy.”

“Well you are his father.”

“Yeah but...”Bam trailed off, unable to say the words out loud, as if saying it would make it even truer. He was a shit father.

“Look Bam. At the end of the day I’ve got our son’s best interests at heart. Even if you’re a massive prick you’ll always be his father and until he’s old enough to make up his own opinion of you, I’m not going to deprive him of knowing who you are, or letting him see you.” Amelia emptied the rest of her glass in one big mouthful.

Bam remained silent. He was taken aback by Amelia’s admittance. It certainly left him with a lot to think about.

“So yes, he knows who you are. I think he even remembers you a little bit, which is fucking surprising.” Amelia continued and took a deep breath. “Why do you want to take him away from me?” She stared hard, right into his icy blue eyes, wondering whether she would find the answer if she could look deep enough into his soul.

“Why Knoxville?” Bam replied, unexpectedly.

“What?” Amelia frowned at his swift change of subject whilst trying to remain calm.

“You heard me. Why do you want him?” He challenged her, pulling out another cigarette and swiftly lighting it.

“What does that have to do with Brandon?” Amelia glared. He really was unbelievable.

“It has everything to do with it.” Bam assured her, scowling back.

“I think you’re being childish Bam. Whatever is going on between Johnny and I is really none of your business. As I recall, you were the one who cheated on me.”

Bam mumbled something incoherent under his breath.

Amelia sighed exasperatedly. She was not going to play games. “If you’ll excuse me, I don’t really want to talk to you anymore.” Amelia told him coolly, before getting up to leave.

“That’s it. Do what you always do and run away when the going gets tough.” Bam derided.

Amelia turned around to confront him, but quickly thought better of it. She would not rise to him. Not at her best friend’s wedding. “You didn’t answer my question.” She responded instead. “Why do you want to take my son away from me?”

“Because I can.”

Amelia had had enough and without giving Bam the satisfaction of a response she walked off, trying to hide her anger. Who the hell did he think he was? As soon as she stepped foot inside she was met by the welcome distraction of Ryan holding a grumpy Brandon in his arms.

“I think he wants his mom.” Ryan told her, handing the toddler over to his mother and breathing a sigh of relief.

“It’s well past his bedtime. He must be tired.” Amelia reassured Ryan. “I’m going to put him down for the night.”

“You do that.” Ryan nodded. “Are you ok Amelia? I swear if looks could kill...”

“If looks could kill Bam Margera would be a dead man.” Amelia quipped. Maybe her dream had not been a nightmare after all. “I’ll see you later Ryan.” She walked off without offering any explanation, leaving Ryan wondering what his friend had done this time.

As Amelia made her way to the hotel lobby she scanned the room for Johnny. He was sitting at a table with Madison, Mel, and Mel’s new partner. He looked up with a questioning look on his face as Amelia walked past but she did not want to interrupt their conversation.

Johnny managed to catch up with Amelia before she reached the elevators. “I’ve been waiting for a chance to get you alone all night.” He grinned cheekily.

Amelia could not help but smile, despite how angry she was. “I was just going to put Brandon to bed.” She told him. “I’m sure I can give you some undivided attention afterwards.”

“I like the sound of that.” Johnny grinned. “But Ryan said something about you wanting to kill someone...care to elaborate?”

“Oh yeah. Well it doesn’t exactly take a genius to guess who I was on about, does it?” She sighed, pressing the button to call the elevator.

“You spoke to him?”

Amelia nodded. “And I regret it. He makes my blood boil. He really thinks that he’s the one that’s been wronged because we’re together. I’m pretty sure he’s just using the custody case as a way to punish me.”

Johnny remained silent, not wanting to give his pennies worth just yet.

“I’m not going to spend the rest of the night walking on eggshells around him.” She continued, walking into the elevator. “If I want to kiss you in the middle of the dance floor I bloody well will.”

“You’re sexy when you’re angry.” Johnny grinned, pressing their floor button. “I think it’s something to do with your British accent.”

Amelia laughed. “Well thank you. It makes a change from having Dimitry take the piss out of me for it.”

Johnny ushered Amelia out of the lift and along the corridor to their room. He wondered if she was being serious about kissing him in front of everyone. Bam must really have got to her, but he wasn’t going to push her if she didn’t want to talk about it. He waited patiently on the sofa while Amelia put her son to bed and she soon returned looking much calmer.

Amelia flopped down on the sofa besides Johnny. She didn’t like leaving Brandon on his own, but the hotel was only open to the wedding guests and she would be checking on him regularly throughout the night. “I don’t like weddings.” She sighed.

Johnny laughed. “Why not? You sound just like Dunn.”

“They remind me of what a mistake my own was.” Amelia shrugged. “So help me if Rose and Ryan end up tying the knot.”

“So you’d never do it again then?” Johnny looked at her.

Amelia chose to ignore the implications of his question. “Get married again? I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to go through all of that again. What about you? Hasn’t getting divorced put you off the idea of marriage?”

Johnny thought about this for a moment. “I don’t know. I guess maybe if it was with the right woman.”

“How do you know when you’ve found the right one?” Amelia wondered.

“Oh, you just know.” He smiled gently as their eyes met.