I Could Never Pretend

After a moment of comfortable silence, Johnny leaned into place a soft kiss on Amelia’s cheek. However, his gentlemanly gesture was not quite what Amelia had in mind. She turned her head so that their lips could meet and put her arms around his neck so that she could kiss him passionately. Who was Johnny to argue with that? He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist, closing the gap between them. The smell of Amelia’s perfume was intoxicating and as Johnny breathed her in he kissed her more forcefully, running his fingers through her hair. Amelia seemed to enjoy this, moaning into the kiss as her hands worked their way down his back. In one swift movement Johnny had shrugged off his jacket and leant back on the sofa, pulling Amelia down on top of him.

They kissed for what seemed like hours when Amelia finally broke away. Her dress was beginning to become somewhat of a pain and she knew that they should probably go back downstairs and rejoin the party. Johnny, although slightly frustrated, understood.

“So err...what are the rules regarding physical contact for the rest of the night?” He queried as they made their way back down to the party.

“There are none.” She winked.

When they returned to the party, Johnny disappeared for a few moments. Before Amelia had time to wonder where he had gone the music changed and Garth Brooks’ Shameless filled the room. Amelia felt a pair of arms snake around her waist and she twisted round to see Johnny with a huge grin in his face. “May I have this dance?”

Amelia blushed. “Come on PJ, you know I don’t dance.” No amount of alcohol would ever make her feel confident enough to dance in front of everyone.

“Sure you do.” He laughed. “I requested this one especially for you. I know how much you love a bit of Garth Brooks.”

The dance floor was painstakingly empty, but Amelia could not argue. She allowed Johnny to lead her on to the dance floor where they started to slow dance. Amelia tried to ignore the people watching them. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder, listening to him sing along softly to the music.

“Well I'm shameless when it comes to loving you. I'll do anything you want me to. I'll do anything at all.”

Amelia closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the music and Johnny’s smooth voice. He was a good singer when he put his mind to it.

“I'm shameless, oh honey, I don't have a prayer. Every time I see you standin' there I go down upon my knees.”

To Amelia’s relief, other couples began to join them. Amelia glanced up to see Rose and Ryan and Laura and Jeff next to them. She caught Laura’s eye and smiled. Laura looked like she was having the time of her life.

“And I'm changing, swore I'd never compromise. Oh, but you convinced me otherwise. I'll do anything you please.”

Johnny continued to sing along and the words sent shivers down Amelia’s spine.

“You see in all my life I've never found....What I couldn't resist, what I couldn't turn down. I could walk away from anyone I ever knew. But I can't walk away from you.”

Steve, Ehren, Dave and their respective partners had now joined the dance floor, along with Chris and Claire and April and Phil. Amelia no longer felt so self conscious and realised how much she was enjoying herself.

“I have never let anything have this much control over me. I work too hard to call my life my own. And I've made myself a world and it's worked so perfectly. But it's your world now, I can't refuse. I've never had so much to lose. Oh, I'm shameless.”

Amelia was pretty sure that from the way they were dancing and the way Johnny was softly singing to her, everyone in the room would now know that they were a couple. This did not worry her. On the contrary she was glad. She didn’t care what anyone thought about her still being married to Bam. She was proud to be with Johnny and nothing would ever change that.

“You know it should be easy for a man who's strong...To say he's sorry or admit when he's wrong. I've never lost anything I've ever missed. But I've never been in love like this.”

As the song came to an end Johnny stopped singing and started to kiss Amelia, either oblivious or unbothered by the fact that people were watching. “I love you Amelia.” He smiled into the kiss, squeezing her tighter to him.

“I love you too Philip John Clapp.”

***

It was nearly 3am and almost all of the guests had now either gone home or up to their hotel rooms. Almost all that is, except for Johnny, Chris, Dimitry, Guch and Cordell. They were sitting around the empty bar, working their way through a large bottle of Jack Daniels. Amelia had long since passed out in the bedroom after checking on Brandon and insisting that Johnny should stay up and have a good time. Jeff and Laura had left about ten minutes ago to spend their first night together as husband and wife. Johnny was looking forward to following suit but first he needed a smoke.

He wandered out onto the terrace for his last cigarette of the evening. Despite it being the depths of winter it was a mild night, though he still wished he had not left his jacket back in the room. Perching on the edge of the wall, Johnny pulled out his cigarettes, placed one between his lips and lit it. He was perfectly oblivious to the fact that he was not alone and was being watched.

As he smoked his cigarette in silence, he pondered his earlier conversation with Amelia regarding marriage. He couldn’t help but wonder if her experience with Bam really had put her off marriage for good or if maybe one day she would possibly consider tying the knot again. Johnny was no stranger to heartbreak, but he knew that with Amelia he had found someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. While he had certainly been in love with Mel, they had been young and naive, just like Amelia and Bam. Johnny had done a lot of growing up over the past five years and he finally knew what he wanted. At the same time he was smart enough not to push the subject of marriage with Amelia any further. The last thing he wanted to do was to scare her off.

Johnny ran a hand through his hair and exhaled a large cloud of smoke. He knew he’d had too much to drink and it always left him feeling tense and unsure of himself. It was rare that Johnny knew when to stop, but tonight proved to be an exception. Her stubbed out his cigarette and swallowed the last mouthful of bourbon before heading back inside. He had almost reached the door when he heard someone shout his name. He was taken by surprise having assumed he was the only person outside.

“Going to sleep with my wife now Knoxville?”

Johnny let out a loud sigh. He paused, weighing up his options. He could choose to ignore the comment and be the bigger man like Jeff had asked him to, or he could rise to it. Well, Jeff was out of the picture now. The wedding was all but over and Johnny had one too many glasses of whiskey under his belt.

“She wouldn’t be your wife anymore if you’d just sign the damn divorce papers.” Johnny called back to the invisible voice.

“And why would I want to do that?” Bam appeared from the shadows, clutching a bottle of beer in one hand and his cigarette in the other. Judging by the way he slurred his words, it seemed Johnny wasn’t the only one who’d had a little too much booze.

Johnny took a few steps closer to Bam so that he could look him directly in the eye when he replied. “Because she deserves a lot better than you could ever give her. You could be a decent guy and let her get on with the rest of her life, stress free. Hell, you could even drop the custody case while you’re at it.”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you Knoxville. Then you’d be free to play happy families with that bitch and my son.” Bam spat, scowling at the older man.

It seemed Amelia had been right, Johnny thought. Bam was more pissed with Johnny being in a relationship with his wife than the fact that Amelia had left him in the first place. Still, no one was going to call Amelia a bitch in front of Johnny and get away with it.

Bam stood perfectly still as Johnny came at him, almost as if he expected and wanted his opponent to hit him. Johnny’s fist flew in the direction of his face and Bam didn’t so much as flinch. “That was for Amelia.” Johnny declared after his hand had made contact with Bam’s nose. “Whatever’s going on between the two of us has nothing to do with you.”

Bam staggered backwards slightly, his bottle had dropped to the floor. He put his sleeve up to his nose, which was now dripping with blood. “Whatever happened to bros before hoes?” Bam shouted, wiping the blood away as best he could and acting as if nothing had happened.

“That went out the window when you cheated on your wife.” Johnny assured him, standing back slightly but remaining on guard should Bam decide to retaliate.

“On the contrary, I’d say it went out the window when the two of you went behind my back.” Bam folded his arms. “And don’t try to deny it.”

Johnny chose to ignore the truth in this comment. Bam was clearly imagining a lot more than the reality of a kiss or two. “You’re deluded by your own guilt Bam.” He shook his head. “It’s pathetic.”

“I’ll tell you what’s pathetic old man; sleeping with your friend’s wife... who’s ten years younger than you.” Bam derided.

Once again, this was too much for Johnny to take and he leapt forward for a second round. Bam was ready for him this time and caught him by surprise with a punch to the stomach. Johnny doubled over in pain and swung wildly with one arm. Bam was too quick and now having the upper hand he caught Johnny with a fierce knock in the jaw. Johnny stood up straight and he could taste blood. He must have busted his lip.

“If you want pathetic just take a look in the mirror.” Johnny shouted, spitting blood. “You’ve really gone downhill since she left you.”

Bam threw another punch, this time hitting Johnny square in the face. “God I’ve wanted to do that for such a long time.” Bam mused, admiring his handy work as Johnny felt the blood pour from his nose. “Not so handsome now are you, pretty boy?”

As Johnny wiped his nose, he glanced down at his once white shirt and saw that he was covered in blood. Bam was too. They had resorted to mindless violence and it was getting them nowhere. Now was the time for Johnny to be the bigger man. “Do you know what Bam, fuck you. I’ve tried being civil, I’ve tried reasoning with you, but what’s the point? You’re just an immature little boy who thinks he can always get his own way. Well go ahead and do whatever the fuck you want. See if I care. See if anyone cares. What Amelia ever saw in you, I have no idea.”

Johnny started to walk away, hoping upon hoping that the last few stragglers at the bar would have long since retired. His bloody shirt was going to take some explaining. He had nearly reached the door when Bam caught his attention once again.

“I did actually have a reason for talking to you tonight Knoxville.” Bam shouted over to him, lighting another cigarette.

Johnny turned around. “Oh you did? Care to elaborate?” He raised his eyebrow.

“I’m feeling pretty damn reasonable considering the circumstances.” Bam informed him with a huge smirk. It was enough to make Johnny want to hit him again. “Even after this little brawl, I’m willing to cut you a deal.”

Johnny had a feeling that whatever ‘deal’ Bam had to offer, it was going to be in some way questionable. He had known the guy for too long to underestimate him or indeed to expect him to suddenly change his mind. “I’m listening.”

“I’ll sign the divorce papers, drop the custody case and go along with any future Jackass projects....on one condition.” Bam began.

This was too good to be true, Johnny was sure of it. He held his breath as he waited for the catch.

“All you have to do is leave Amelia.”