I Could Never Pretend

“When was the last time you had a relaxing holiday?” Amelia asked Johnny, stressing the term ‘relaxing’. They had just arrived on the tiny Maldivian island that they would call their home for the next two weeks. The island housed just one, very posh hotel, whose rooms consisted of luxurious wooden huts dotted along the sea front. Amelia had never been anywhere quite like it. The view of blue sky and calm water from their terraced balcony looked as if it might have been photo-shopped. Everything was just too perfect.

Amelia was sitting behind Johnny on one of their sun loungers, rubbing sun protection cream into his back, while he was excitedly flicking through scuba-diving brochures. He paused for a moment, considering her question. “I guess I’ve never really had a relaxing vacation”, he laughed, tossing the brochure aside. “Filming Jackass was always like an extended vacation. When I was with Mel, I used to
just fly her and Madison out to be with us. I never really paid them enough attention though. I was always too busy with filming or something.”

Amelia massaged the lotion into his shoulders, grinning as he shuddered at her touch. “Should I feel special then? Or am I going to find party boy hiding under the bed?”

“No you should definitely feel special. I can assure you that it’s just going to be me and you, all alone on this paradise island”, Johnny smiled, turning his neck to kiss her tenderly. “Except for maybe a few other tourists”, he added as an afterthought, before Amelia pulled him around to face her. “We’ve got to make up for so much lost time”, he winked as she started to massage his chest.

“Hmm, I definitely like the sound of that”, Amelia smiled, running her hands along his toned torso.

This fortnight was going to be pure heaven, she thought. Ever since she and Johnny had finally gotten together, they had never really had chance to be alone and be a normal couple. There was always someone or something in the way, but not now. For the next two weeks they could pretend that nothing else was going on in their lives and concentrate on their feelings for one another, away from interfering friends and relatives, and prying paparazzi. Although she was missing him already, Amelia knew that Brandon was in safe hands with Rose and Ryan, who were staying in LA for New Year.

“There, you’re all done”, Amelia laughed, patting Johnny on the chest and wiping the rest of the cream onto her bare legs. “No sunburn for you.”

“Don’t act like you were worried about my health”, Johnny teased. “You just wanted to touch me.”

“Ok, you got me. Was it that obvious?” Amelia laughed. “I can’t help it if you have an irresistible body...for someone who’s nearly forty.”

“I resent that. But I suppose yours isn’t too bad either”, Johnny grinned, looking Amelia up and down before putting a hand on her bare waist and pulling her closer to him. “Granted it’s not as impressive as mine, but it’s nothing a few sit-ups won’t fix”, he joked, poking her in the stomach.

“Hey!” Amelia exclaimed, poking him back in the ribs.

“Ok, I deserved that”, Johnny smirked, holding up his hands in surrender. “Let me make it better”, he grinned, bending down to kiss her stomach.

Amelia giggled. “Come on, let’s go down to the beach.” She stood up, grabbed two towels and pulled Johnny after her. They made their way down the steps at the end of their terrace that led to the beach, where Amelia laid out the towels and sat down. She stared out across the picture perfect horizon, enjoying the gentle breeze that was drifting towards them from the sea.

“I can’t believe we’ve practically got the island to ourselves”, Amelia remarked as Johnny sat down beside her and stretched out his legs. They had only seen one other couple since checking in at the reception over an hour ago. “Not that I’m complaining”, she added, feeling Johnny’s hand starting to snake up her back. She turned her head so that he could peck him on the cheek.

“You know, it’s exactly a year since you turned up at my house out of the blue”, Johnny mused, putting a hand on her cheek and tilting her head so that he could kiss her fully on the lips.

“Really? I don’t know what I was thinking”, she teased, kissing him back.

Johnny wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her down on top of him. “I’m glad you did”, he smiled softly, entwining his fingers in her hair.

“So am I.” Amelia smiled down at him before placing a trail of kisses along his neck and shoulder, knowing how it would drive him crazy. Once she reached Johnny’s chest, Amelia brought her head back up and her lips crashed against his, kissing him passionately. She dug her fingernails into his shoulders and pressed her hips against his, eliciting a moan of pleasure from Johnny.

In one swift movement Johnny grabbed Amelia by the hips and rolled over so that he was now in control. Amelia realised that he had undone her bikini. She had to hand it to the guy, he was smooth. They continued kissing and Johnny had just reached down to the waistband of Amelia’s bikini bottoms when they were distracted by the sound of voices approaching.

Amelia and Johnny both instinctively jumped apart and sat up. The very same couple they had seen earlier in reception were now walking past them rather awkwardly. A very flustered Amelia grabbed her discarded bikini top and held it against her chest in an attempt to cover herself. The couple looked just as embarrassed as Amelia and they picked up their pace.

“Well that was embarrassing”, Amelia blushed, once the couple were out of ear shot. “I guess we don’t really have the place to ourselves after all.”

Johnny on the other hand was clearly struggling to contain his laughter as he watched the couple walk away. “That was hilarious. Did you see their faces?”

“No PJ, I was a little preoccupied with the fact that they just saw me naked”, Amelia replied. Her face was still bright red.

“Aw come on. You weren’t completely naked”, he reasoned, putting his arm around Amelia once she had secured her bikini top.

“Yeah, well it’s probably a good job they walked past when they did,” Amelia shrugged. “I can’t believe we got so carried away.” She stood up.

“You don’t want to have sex on the beach with me?” Johnny looked up at her, pretending to be disappointed.

“I think we both need to cool off”, Amelia told him, before making her way down to the water.

“Hey, you never answered my question!” Johnny jumped up and hurried after her.

***

Later that afternoon while Amelia was sunbathing, her mind started to wander back to her conversation with Rick at Laura and Jeff’s wedding. She wondered if he would drop his conspiracy theory by the time they returned to the office, or if the staff would be in for an eventful start to the year. Although she had assured Rick that she was no prepared to spy on Johnny, she decided there was no harm in discussing the matter with him. Perhaps by hearing it straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak, she could convince Rick that he was overreacting.

“PJ.” Amelia leaned over to Johnny who was lying on his back beside her, his head in a book.

Johnny slowly lowered the book and took off his shades to look at Amelia. “What’s up?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You just did.” Johnny grinned at her.

“Alright smart arse.” Amelia playfully tapped him on the shoulder. “This is probably going to sound silly, but I was just thinking about something Rick said.”

“Kosick? This should be good. He’s such a gossip”, Johnny laughed, putting his book down to pay Amelia his full attention.

“Yeah, so we were talking to him at the wedding and he was convinced that the studio have asked you, Jeff and Spike for another movie.” Amelia shrugged casually, making sure it did not sound as if she believed what Rick had said.

Johnny widened his eyes in surprise. Luckily, to Amelia it appeared that he was surprised that Rick would think such a thing, but in reality he was far more surprised that Rick was spot on. How could he have known?

“What would make him think that?” Johnny asked, trying to mask the concern in his voice.

Amelia shrugged again. “He put it down to all your ‘secret’ meetings and the four year gap between the last two films.”

Johnny laughed awkwardly. He hated lying to Amelia, but he saw no point in telling her that Rick was right. Not only would it cause more problems, but the chances of them actually going ahead with another movie were so slim it was practically negligible.

“Good old Rick eh”, Johnny smiled.

“We told him he was wrong, but he was having none of it”, Amelia laughed, settling back down to continue sun bathing. She felt more relaxed knowing that Rick had been wrong.

Johnny returned to his book, trying to convince himself that he had done the right thing. He was sure that Bam was going to refuse to do another movie, which meant that Amelia and the others would never need to know that it had ever been on the cards.

“Do you think there ever will be anymore Jackass?” Amelia asked him after a few moments of silence.

“I really don’t know”, Johnny replied truthfully.

***

A few days later, Amelia and Johnny saw in their second new year together. It had been exactly a year since they had finally admitted their true feelings to one another and Johnny had decided to celebrate the occasion with a candle lit meal for two, overlooking the sea.

“This is so romantic Johnny”, Amelia gasped as he led her to the table that had been set up by the hotel staff.

“I’m glad you like it”, Johnny smiled. They sat down and the waiter poured them a glass of wine. “I wanted to do something a bit special.”

“I can’t believe how fast this year has gone.” Amelia took a sip of wine and smiled at Johnny.

“It’s been kind of crazy huh?”

Amelia nodded. “Just a bit.”

Johnny reached out and took her hand. “It’s been the best year of my life, even if it took us half the year to get our act together.”

Amelia laughed slightly. “I know it took us a while to get together and it’s a shame we wasted so much time, but I really wouldn’t change a thing”, she told him, staring into his eyes.

“Neither would I.” Johnny squeezed her hand. “And things are only going to get better from now on. I promise.”

“I can’t wait.” Amelia grinned at him. Bam and the custody case were the furthest things from her mind at that moment and she couldn’t be happier. “I love you PJ. I’m so glad we found each other. You make me so happy and I know I can trust you, no matter what. ”

“I love you too Amelia. We were meant to be”, he assured her, but at the back of his mind the guilt of lying to her was starting to gnaw away at him.