I Could Never Pretend

True to his word, when they arrived back in West Chester after the wedding, Phil ensured that he and April moved out of Castle Bam. April had been quick to spot her son’s war wounds after his fight with Knoxville, but she seemingly thought better than to ask of their origin and Bam was not about to volunteer that information. Phil had tried to assure his wife that Bam was perfectly responsible but the cut lip and bruises on her son’s face said otherwise. By the time they had boarded their flight home, April and Bam had resumed their previous unspoken agreement of barely talking to one another, unless it was really necessary.

With his mother finally off his case, Bam was happy that he could now go back to his chosen way of life; spending his nights partying and his days in bed. In fact, as soon as he returned, parent-free, to the castle, he invited half the town over for an especially extravagant party, which ended up lasting for two weeks. It was fortunate that April had not decided to pay him a visit during this time, or she surely would have tried taking matters into her own hands once again.

Although the marathon party had finally ended a few days ago, Bam had just woken up from a particularly heavy night of drinking when his phone began to ring. His manager’s name appeared on the caller ID and Bam sighed, knowing he would have to take this.

“Hey Danny, what’s up?” Bam croaked. His throat was sore from too many cigarettes.

“Bam. I’ve just had a call from Dickhouse. Remember hey want you out in LA in two weeks time.” Danny sounded annoyingly chirpy for so early in the afternoon.

“I suppose this is to try and get me on board for another movie, right?” Bam sighed, sitting up lethargically. He had known for a while that a meeting was on the cards and he remembered Jeff saying something about it at the wedding, but Bam had been too wasted to listen properly.

“Spike was a little hazy on the details.” Danny paused. “Look Bam, I know you’ve gone through a rough patch with them, but I really think you should consider this. At least go over there and hear them out.”

“I know your game Danny,” Bam scoffed, reaching for his discarded pack of cigarettes. “You just want to make sure your paycheques keep rolling in.”

“Well yes, there is that”, Danny sighed. “But I do have your best interests at heart. You know you really can’t afford to pass up this opportunity.”

Bam groaned and rubbed his head. The hangover was well and truly kicking in. “Okay. I’ll listen to what they have to say, but I’m not promising anything.” Bam knew exactly where he stood on the matter of making another movie, and right now the ball was in Knoxville’s court. He did not mention this to Danny, however.

“Great. You’re doing the right thing you know”, Danny assured him, enthusiastically.

“Yeah yeah, when do they want me?” Bam flopped back down onto his back.

“Erm, the 28th”, Danny told him.

“That’s a shame. My custody hearing is the 31st.” Bam smiled to himself at the convenience of the timing. Danny knew full well that if Bam was going to LA he would have to spend at least a week there, catching up with his various acquaintances.

“Oh shit yeah”, Danny remembered, a little flustered. “I’ll see if they can rearrange...”

Bam cut him off. “No, tell Jeff I’ll be there. I’ll reschedule the hearing instead.”

The line went silent for a few moments until Danny finally spoke up. “Seriously Bam?” He sounded as if he was in disbelief. “It would be a lot easier just to ask Dickhouse...”

“Seriously”, Bam smiled to himself again. There was nothing like reminding his wife just who called the shots, both within and out of their marriage. “Can you speak to my solicitor and arrange it for sometime in February?”

“No problem”, Danny sighed, choosing not to question his client. He had worked with Bam for long enough to know that it was impossible to change his mind.

***

Johnny was just dozing off with his head resting on his desk when he was disturbed by Jeff bounding into the office and slamming the door behind him. A man of Jeff’s stature should not bound, skip or leap anywhere, Johnny thought, for fear of causing some kind of damage.

“Jesus Christ, did a buffalo just stampede through the office?” Johnny lifted his head up to look at Jeff. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Both Johnny and Amelia and Jeff and Laura had only been back from their respective holidays for couple of days and already the two men were back at work.

“Haha, you’re not funny PJ”, Jeff retorted, collapsing into his chair on the other side of the desk and putting his feet up.

“I was trying to sleep until the elephant man came charging into my office”, Johnny groaned, stretching back in his own chair to try and wake himself up. “What’s got you so cheerful?”

“I’ve just spoken to Spike. Bam’s manager rang back to confirm that Bam’s flying out for the meeting on the 28th.” Jeff folded his arms, looking pleased with himself.

“Really?” Johnny failed to hide his surprise. He had assumed that after their encounter at the wedding, Bam would go out of his way to make things difficult for Johnny.

“I know, I was a little surprised myself at how smooth things are going”, Jeff admitted. “I really didn’t expect Bam to be so cooperative. We’re just waiting to hear from Dave and Preston and then it’s a full house.” The plan was to reunite the whole gang and tell them about the movie at the same time.

“I know it’s a long shot, but with any luck between the twelve of us, we might be able to talk Bam, into the movie and out of the custody case at the same time.”

Jeff was smiling but Johnny struggled to match his enthusiasm. He still hadn’t told anyone about Bam’s ultimatum. On the one hand he was hoping that what Bam had said had just been the beer talking, but at the same time, Johnny had a nasty feeling that he and Bam were going to come to blows once more before the whole messy situation was resolved. After all, it was not Amelia or Jeff that Bam had the problem with. It was him.

“So I was thinking we should have ourselves a few beers tonight to celebrate.” Jeff grinned, putting his arms behind his head.

“To celebrate what exactly?” Johnny frowned. “I wasn’t aware that we had achieved anything yet.”

“Oh come on sourpuss. We don’t need an excuse to have a few beers”, Jeff laughed, throwing a tennis ball in Johnny’s direction. “What’s wrong with you?”

Johnny shrugged. “I just feel bad about all this sneaking around and keeping secrets. You know Kosick already suspects us of planning another movie.” He instinctively lowered his voice as if he was worried that someone might be listening in.

“Kosick’s always been paranoid”, Jeff laughed. “It’s not as if we’re being malicious in keeping this from everyone”, he reminded Johnny. “We just don’t want them to be disappointed if it doesn’t happen, and look at this way, in two weeks time we’ll either be able to tell everyone the good news, or forget the whole idea”, Jeff added.

“I know you’re right”, Johnny sighed. “Which makes a change.”

***

While Johnny was at work, Amelia and Brandon were spending some quality time at the park. Although she had thoroughly enjoyed her holiday with Johnny, she was glad to be reunited with her son. She was determined to make up for leaving him with Rose and Ryan for two whole weeks; something she felt very guilty about.

It was late afternoon and they were just about to return to the apartment, when Amelia received a phone call from Harry. She had learnt that whenever his name popped up on her caller ID or inbox, she was probably not going to like what she heard. Harry certainly had no qualms about giving her bad news at the drop of a hat.

Amelia stopped pushing Brandon in the swing and answered her phone anxiously. “Hello?”

“Hi Amelia, happy New Year! How are you doing?”

“I’m fine thanks Harry, how are you?” She wished he would cut to the chase. Harry rarely indulged in courtesy calls.

“I’m great babe. Look, I’ve got some news and I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

Amelia held her breath, her worst fears confirmed. This was definitely not going to be good news. “What is it?” She asked fearfully. She could only imagine what trick Bam had pulled this time.

“I’ve just received an email from West Chester, informing me that the hearing’s been moved,” Harry told her gently. “It’s been rescheduled for the end of February.”

“What!?” Amelia exclaimed indignantly, unable to help herself. “Why has it been moved?” She demanded. Brandon turned around in the swing to look at his mother’s angry face and laughed.

“They were vague on the details I’m afraid, but from the gist of it, it sounds like your husband’s conflicting schedule is to blame...something to do with a business trip that could not be rearranged.”

“That’s bullshit!” Amelia shouted, forgetting herself in front of her son. “Bam doesn’t go on business trips, he goes on benders!” Amelia paused, trying to calm herself down. “I’m sorry Harry. I was just looking forward to getting this sorted once and for all.”

“I know, I’m sorry too,” Harry said sincerely. “I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do but wait it out.”

Amelia bit her lip, trying to hold back tears of frustration. Once again Bam had proved himself to be an immense arsehole. She knew that he was only doing this to get to her. Well this time it had worked. She wiped away a stray tear.

“Thanks for letting me know Harry. Is there anything else I need to do in the meantime?”

“Well there is one other issue, but I feel it might be better for you to come into the office to discuss this.” Harry sounded sympathetic, which did not fill Amelia with confidence.

“I don’t like the sound of that”, Amelia replied nervously. “It’s Bam again isn’t it? How bad is it?”

“It’s bad, Harry admitted. “Can you and PJ come in today?”

“Johnny’s at work, but I can stop by anytime”, Amelia said, anxiously. As much as she needed to know what she was up against, part of her didn’t even want to imagine what Bam was capable of.

“Great. I don’t have any meetings for the rest of the day so I’ll be ready waiting for you”, Harry told her.

“I’m on my way.”

Amelia made it to Harry’s office from the park in less than fifteen minutes. An impressive feat but largely down to the fact that she had ran a red light and flaunted the speed limit for most of the short journey. It was lucky she had her old car back.

“Where we going mommy?” Brandon asked curiously from his child seat in the back of the car. He could sense from erratic Amelia’s behaviour that something was not right.

“We’re going to find out just how much of a bastard you father is”, Amelia sighed. She did not have the energy or inclination to sweeten the truth for the two year old.

“What’s ‘bastard’?” Brandon replied. Amelia chose to ignore this question.

When Amelia and Brandon arrived in the reception, Cathy was expecting them. “Oh he’s adorable!” she smiled down at Brandon while Amelia signed in.

Amelia felt slightly vulnerable following Cathy down the corridor to Harry’s office. This was the first time she had been here without Johnny. She could have really done with his support right now, but she didn’t want to bother him while he was so busy at work. Anyway, she was a grown woman. She was perfectly capable of looking after herself, right?

“Hi Amelia, hello Brandon.” Harry embraced Amelia in a friendly hug and bent down to shake Brandon’s hand. For such an intimidating man of law, Harry was really great with kids, Amelia had often thought.

“Thanks for seeing me this late”, Amelia smiled nervously as she sat Brandon down on an empty chair and pulled a colouring book out of her hand bag to occupy the toddler.

“It’s really no problem.” Harry smiled as Amelia sat down opposite him. “I feel this may be a delicate matter, best discussed in person rather than over the phone.”

Amelia swallowed nervously and clenched her hands together, waiting to hear the damage. “Is this about the hearing or the divorce?” She wondered.

“It’s the divorce”, Harry replied, matter-of-factly. “Obviously now that the hearing has been pushed back, it’s going to take longer to process the divorce, but there’s something else. We finally received a reply from your husband’s lawyers. Mr Margera has objected to your grounds for divorce. He claims that you committed adultery.”