I Could Never Pretend

Amelia had been back in LA for one day and already she found herself booking a flight to West Chester, the one place she never thought she would return to. She was not entirely sure what she expected to come of this trip. It was not like she would be able to change Bam’s mind; he was the most stubborn asshole on the planet. She had a few choice words for him that was for sure and a phone call simply would not do. She wanted to look her husband in the eye and ask him how he could be so evil.

“What are you going to do?” Johnny asked tentatively, after following her into the office she shared with Rick and Dimitry.

“I’m going to West Chester.” She told him matter of factly, glad that the office was empty for the time being. She didn’t want everyone knowing her business.

Johnny held his tongue. He wanted to tell her it was a bad idea and to let the solicitors sort it out but he knew she could not sit back and do nothing. It was not his place to interfere and the last thing he wanted to do was to cause friction between them. “Do you want me to come with you?”

Amelia looked up at him with a worried expression. “Will you? I don’t think I can handle this on my own.”

Johnny strode over to where she was sitting and pulled her into his arms. “Of course I will. You know I’m here for you not matter what Amelia. You don’t need to ask.”

“Thank you PJ.” She hugged him back, burying her head into his chest and inhaling the scent of his aftershave.

Johnny held her tightly and felt her body shake as she started to cry. He hated seeing her like this and it only made him feel more anger towards Bam for putting her through so much pain. He had just got his happy carefree Amelia back and now Bam had taken her away again.

After a few minutes Amelia pulled away. “I’m sorry Johnny. I’m angrier with myself for letting him get to me again. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry over him again but this is just so unexpected.” The more she thought about the situation the more frustrated she was. Her mother had been right, she should have filed for divorce straight away and she could have sorted the custody out at the same time but she had been naive and Bam had beaten her to it. “I just want to get on with my life.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself.” Johnny told her gently, stroking her hair softly. “We’ll sort this mess out. I promise.”

Jeff appeared at the doorway. “Hey PJ, is everything ok?” He was looking at Amelia who was hastily wiping the tears from her eyes.

Johnny glanced down at her before replying. “Hey Jeff. There’s nothing to worry about, just a slight hiccough that a trip to West Chester this weekend will fix.”

The mention of West Chester did not seem to ease Jeff’s concern, but he could see that now was not the time to ask questions. “Ok guys, I’ll see you in the staffroom in an hour.”

“Jeff must hate me for ditching him again.” Amelia groaned as she watched Jeff walk away. She felt guilty about missing work again. If Dickhouse had been a normal company she would have been out of the job before she’d even started.

“Don’t be silly Meels.” Johnny shook his head and laughed. “Jeff loves you. He was desperate to get you to work here and now he won’t let you go for anything.”

“I hope you’re right.”

***

One week later Amelia and Johnny touched down in West Chester. Amelia had flown more times in the past year than she had in her whole twenty one years prior to moving over to the US. It was just one more aspect of her new found crazy lifestyle. She often wondered how much less eventful or indeed boring her life would have been if she had stayed in England. It was not worth thinking about, she decided.

Amelia had been a nervous wreck on the plane. She had no idea what she was walking into by returning to Castle Bam or what she was going to say to Bam. After being separated for so long she really did not welcome the prospect of seeing his face again. What worried her even more was how she would react to seeing him after all this time. She had put her feelings to him aside after he had broken her heart but she wasn’t sure if she would ever stop having feelings for him. Johnny gripped her hand tightly but this was not as comforting as he meant it to be. The fact that he was accompanying her was sure to add fuel to the impending fire. They had decided it was for the best to maintain the impression that they were not dating but Bam was not as stupid as he often acted.

Jeff was very understanding of the situation and he and Johnny had managed to keep it under wraps. The only people who knew about the custody case were Jeff and Laura, who were looking after Brandon for the weekend. She had been incredibly grateful for Laura and Jeff babysitting and she secretly hoped that being around Brandon might trigger some hormones in the pair of them and that they would hear the patter of tiny feet after the wedding. Apparently Jeff had been less than impressed when Johnny mentioned this to him.

Amelia had decided that as much as she would have liked for April and Phil to see their grandson, bringing Brandon was a bad idea. There was most likely going to be a scene between Amelia and Bam and she did not want her son around when it all kicked off. After booking the tickets Amelia had rang April to ask her if she and Johnny could stay with them for the weekend. April had been surprised by the request but she seemed happy at the prospect of seeing them, which could only be a good thing. Amelia had no idea if April knew what Bam had done but she didn’t really want to talk about it over the phone.

Johnny pulled up outside April and Phil’s house and Amelia took a deep breath. She was glad that Johnny was here beside her as she knew she would not be able to cope on her own. He had been amazing this week and had even arranged a meeting with his own solicitor when they returned to LA. Amelia thought better than to ask how much this particular guy charged.

The sound of tyres on the gravel had drawn April and Phil out of the house and they rushed up to the rental car to greet their guests. After smothering the pair of them in hugs and kisses, April finally led Amelia and Johnny into the house.

“I have a pretty good idea why you’re here.” She sighed gently once they were all seated in the living room with coffee and biscuits. “I love my son but sometimes I can’t help but feel like disowning him.”

“Did you know what he was planning?” Amelia asked. She didn’t blame April but she wanted to know everything.

“I didn’t have a clue until you rang last week.” April admitted honestly. “I thought it was strange that you were coming back and as happy as I am to see you, I knew that Bam must have something to do with it. I asked him straight out what he had done to bring you to West Chester and he casually explained what he was doing. I can’t believe it. Of all the stupid things that boy has done, this has just gone too far.”

“So you don’t think he should have full custody?” Amelia inquired, perfectly aware that she was now playing devil’s advocate.

“Of course not!” April exclaimed, shocked to have been asked such a question. “I always knew that the custody issue would come up when you guys got divorced. I mean, obviously I don’t really want you to get divorced but at the same time I don’t blame you after everything Bam’s put you through.”

Amelia grimaced awkwardly as April glanced over at Johnny before continuing. “But I always assumed it would be a mutual agreement. Never did I imagine that the courts would be involved.”

“You think it will go that far?” Johnny piped up.

April looked at him thoughtfully for a few seconds. “Well I guess that’s why you came right. To try and sort things out? And I really hope you can, but we all know what Bam’s like. Once he gets an idea in his head...” she trailed off.

“I don’t really know why I’m here to be honest.” Amelia shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely to see you again but I know what Bam’s like. I think I just need to see it with my own eyes. I am prepared to go to court if it comes to that though.”

“We understand sweetie. I wish there was something we could do to help.”

Amelia nodded, understanding their predicament. “I want you to know, I’m not going to fight for sole custody of Brandon myself though. Bam’s his father after all and I have no intention of stopping him from having access if he sorts his act out, and Brandon needs his grandparents.”

April smiled. “That’s incredibly kind of you considering what Bam’s done. We really appreciate it don’t we Phil.”

Phil nodded and turned to Johnny. “You want a beer?”

Johnny grinned. “That’s music to my ears Phil.” And with that the two men stood up and made their way over to the kitchen.

April and Amelia smiled to themselves. “So are you and Johnny...”

“No.” Amelia cut her off instantly. She hated lying to April but she had no choice. “Johnny’s just here as moral support.”

“Oh right.” April smiled as she took a sip of coffee, but she didn’t look convinced.

“You’ve been reading those celebrity magazines haven’t you.” Amelia teased, putting her own cup down on the table.

April bit her lip guiltily. “I can’t help it! I’m a middle aged woman who works in a hair salon, what do you expect?”

Amelia laughed. “At least that way you can keep tabs on your son. Oh I’m sorry that was a bit uncalled for wasn’t it.” She looked at April worriedly, hoping she had not caused her any offence.

April however was laughing. “Don’t worry about it honey, it’s funny because it’s true. I wouldn’t know half of the things he’s been up to if I hadn’t read about them.”

“I don’t suppose you know when Bam will be around this weekend do you?” Amelia asked, returning to the issue at hand.

April shook her head. “But there’s no rush. I’ll cook us a nice dinner this evening, you must be starving. If you drive over tomorrow morning you’ll probably catch him before he goes out.”

“Thanks April.” Amelia smiled sinking back into the sofa, but she knew that she would not be able to relax until she had spoken to her husband.

***

The next morning Amelia and Johnny drove the short distance from April and Phil’s house to Castle Bam. As the all too familiar building came into sight Amelia felt a wave of nausea take over her. She could still vividly remember the first time she ever made this journey and the first time she met Bam. Trying to shake these thoughts from her mind she concentrated on the road in front of them as Johnny drove up the path towards the large metal gates.

“I guess I should buzz in?” Johnny laughed glancing at Amelia.

“Try the code; it might still be the same.” She suggested, recalling the six digit pass code to gain entry to Bam’s land. Sure enough he had not changed it and the gates swing open, allowing Johnny to drive the car down the snake run driveway. The place seemed deserted and the distinct lack of people and vehicles led Amelia to wonder if they had gone out filming.

“Do you think anyone’s in?” Johnny asked, reading Amelia’s mind as he killed the engine outside the front door to the castle.

Amelia shrugged hesitantly. Her nerves seemed to have gotten the better of her and she was struggling to find her voice. Before Johnny could say anything else however, a figure appeared from the back of the house and started making its way towards them. Amelia squinted to see who it was, wishing she had not left her glasses at April’s. Johnny was squinting too but he recognised the figure before Amelia. It was Brandon Dicamillo.
Amelia and Johnny climbed out of the car and made their way over to Dico. Once he realised who it was, Dico dropped the box he was carrying and ran over to them. “Oh my God is it good to see you guys!” he exclaimed, hugging them both happily. “What are you doing here?”

“Long story.” Amelia smiled awkwardly. “Where is everyone?” As far as she knew her sister was still supposed to be in West Chester.

“That is also a long story.” Dico’s face fell slightly. “Come round the back and I’ll fill you in.”
Amelia and Johnny shrugged at one another and followed Dico round to the garden where he had pulled out three seats on the decking. “You guys want a drink?”

Amelia and Johnny both shook their heads. “What’s going on then Dico?” Amelia asked, trying to mask the concern in her voice.

“Well if you’re looking for Bam he’ll be back shortly. I think he’s out filming.”

“Why aren’t you with him?” Johnny frowned.

“That’s the long story part.” Dico scratched his balding head. “Once you left Amelia, everything changed. We started filming the new season a few weeks later but it wasn’t the same without you, and Bam wasn’t the same. He was pushing everyone away and Raab suggested that we should ask you to come back, but that ended up causing a huge fight between them and Raab moved out. I still see him occasionally but he has nothing to do with Bam anymore.”

Amelia listened in shock as Dico spoke about Raab. “Is he ok?” she asked.

“Oh yeah he’s fine. I think seeing how Bam treated you that day opened his eyes to what Bam’s really like and he couldn’t deal with it. They’ve been friends for years and Raab trusted him, but he let him down.”

Amelia sighed sadly. She had never expected to come back to this and it made her feel terrible but she needed to hear the full story so she gestured for Dico to continue.

“Rake left not long after Raab. I think he just got to the point where he decided to grow up and concentrate on his career. He still pops by from time to time though.”

“What about Ryan?” Amelia asked, wondering why her sister had not told her all of this.

“Oh Ryan’s still here, for now.” Dico explained. “But I’ll let you into a little secret. He’s found his own place and is thinking of asking Rose to move in with him.”

Amelia’s eyes widened and she made a mental note to have words with Ryan before leaving. While it was nice that he wanted to make a go of things with Rose, she needed to make sure that he was not going to hurt her.

“And you?” Johnny asked before Amelia could say anything about Ryan. They had both noticed the box that Dico had been carrying.

“Well they’re doing the last of the filming for the season this morning so I’m off now. That’s where Ryan and Rose are. I didn’t want to leave Bam in the lurch with the show after Raab and Rake quit, but Rake’s got a spare room so I’m going to live with him.”

“I can’t believe it. The whole crew has just fallen apart?” Amelia exclaimed, putting her head in her hands in despair. She could never have imagined that her leaving would cause all of this.

“Well we’re all still friends, except Bam and Raab, but yeah, Bam’s been a massive dick and no one wants to be around him anymore except for Novak.”

“Makes sense.” Johnny said. He had never much cared for Novak.

“So why are you guys here?” Dico asked curiously. “I gotta say, after I dropped you at the airport I never thought I’d see you in West Chester again.”

Amelia was not surprised that Dico wasn’t aware of Bam’s actions so she proceeded to explain to him the reason for their visit. Unlike April, Dico did not seem at all suspicious of Johnny’s presence but equally as appalled by Bam’s behaviour.

“Well that aint that just the cherry on the cake.” Dico sighed. “If I was having any doubts about ditching Bam I sure am not now. I miss the days when we would sort out our disagreements by destroying each other’s vehicles or putting tacks in shoes. Why do things have to get so serious?”

“Hey, I’m not ruling out sawing the top off Bam’s new Hummer.” Johnny laughed, but Amelia knew he was being serious.

Dico sat and chatted with Amelia and Johnny for a while and Amelia was enjoying their catch up, but as the minutes ticked by, Bam’s return drew nearer and nearer. Johnny could sense her nerves and he wished he could comfort her somehow without attracting Dico’s attention. He knew being here was probably a bad idea. After all he was without a doubt the last person Bam would want to see right now and if he wasn’t so worried about Amelia he would have stayed at April and Phil’s.

It wasn’t long before the sound of an approaching vehicle could be heard from the garden and Amelia instantly turned a sickly shade of green. “I don’t feel very well.” She groaned, grasping her stomach. The thought of the impending confrontation made her want to throw up. She hated confrontation. Dico and Johnny watched anxiously as she stood up and started pacing. Johnny started to feel nervous for her. Nobody knew how Bam was going to react, but whatever the outcome was, it was not going to be good.

It soon became apparent that multiple vehicles had arrived, much to Amelia’s dismay. The last thing she wanted was an audience, especially if Bam’s new girlfriend was included.

“You ok Meels?” Johnny looked at her in concern.

Amelia nodded, having lost her voice once again. She just wanted to get this over and done with as quickly as possible so as soon as she heard footsteps approaching she crossed her arms and waited. Needless to say, Amelia was the last person that Bam had expected to find in his garden that morning and as soon as he spotted her standing on the decking he came to an abrupt halt and stared up at her in shock, confusing his companions. Amelia noticed Novak was amongst them but she did not recognise anyone else and she briefly wondered where Ryan and Rose could be.

“What are you doing here?” Bam called over to her, still rooted to the spot. It was a stupid question really. He knew perfectly well why his wife was here, he had just not expected her so soon.

“Why do you think Bam?” Amelia called back without unfolding her arms. She wondered if he was going to bring his entourage up to the decking or if they would be granted a little privacy.

Bam turned to his friends. “I’ve just got some business to take care of. I’ll meet you at The Note in half an hour.”

Novak and company nodded their heads and retraced their steps back to the front of the house like obedient children, but a blonde haired woman hung back and Amelia recognised her as the replacement camera woman. “Is everything ok Bam?” the woman asked worriedly.

“Yes it’s fine. Go.” Bam snapped and she hurried off to join the others. Amelia, Johnny and Dico watched the scene unfold before them, unable to contain their amusement and Amelia turned back to Johnny to exchange looks of disbelief.

“Good luck.” Johnny mouthed to her as Bam made his way up to the decking.

Amelia found a new sense of confidence and turned back round, ready to face her husband.