I Could Never Pretend

Once he was sure the two men were going to stop tearing one another to pieces, Ryan let go of Johnny and stepped in between them, just as two burly looking security guards appeared.

“It’s ok, they were just leaving”, Ryan nodded to the security guards before ushering Bam and Johnny out of the ward as quickly as possible.

“What in God’s name are you two idiots doing?” Ryan demanded as the three of them made their way into an empty corridor. “Are you trying to get yourselves arrested?”

Johnny and Bam shrugged like two chastised children. They were both sporting bloody noses, black eyes and bleeding lips. Ryan sighed in disbelief at the sense of déjà vu he was experiencing. The look on their faces told Ryan they hadn’t been expecting him.

“Rose rang me from West Chester to say that Amelia was in a car accident. She’s on the next flight out with Ape and Phil.” Ryan quickly explained. “Is someone going to tell me what happened?”

Bam proceeded to fill Ryan in to the best of his ability, carefully eliminating the aspects of the story that had just got Johnny so worked up. Johnny listened silently. It was taking all of his strength not to interrupt Bam but that wasn’t going to do anyone any good.

Ryan had turned pale by the time Bam had finished recounting what Doctor Reese had said about Amelia’s condition. Ryan knew better than anyone the severity of a head injury. He himself had suffered a head injury as a result of a stunt in the past. It had also led to a blood clot, and he had been incredibly lucky that it had been spotted in time. He’d since been given the all clear, but hearing this news about Amelia affected him deeply.

“And you two dicks were rolling about like little boys while Amelia’s in there, unconscious?” Ryan exhaled in disbelief, looking from Johnny to Bam.

When he put it like that, Johnny realised how stupid they had been. He had been a fool to let Bam wind him up in such a manner. It was vital that he got his head together if he was going to be any good to Amelia.

“You’re right Ryan”, he nodded. “I need some air”, and with that Johnny headed off in the direction of the exit.

Once he was out of ear shot, Ryan turned to Bam. “What happened to you? You look like shit.”

Bam realised that in the heat of the moment he’d forgotten to mention that he too had been involved in the accident. Not that it was of much importance. “It’s nothing. I’m fine”, he insisted, after explaining what had happened.

Ryan looked his old friend up and down. He couldn’t have looked much further than fine. In fact, he looked like he was going to be sick and the blood on his shirt was making Ryan feel a similar way.

“Do me favour Bam and drop the bullshit”, Ryan smiled gently, taking Bam by the arm and leading him back to the ward with the intention of getting him some kind of treatment. As much as he might not like the man, Bam was one of his oldest friends and he could not stand by and watch him in pain.

Bam did not have the energy to argue with Ryan and he followed him without hesitation. If truth be told, the sight of his friend was making him feel better already and he became aware of how much he’d missed having Ryan around.

Within a matter of minutes and after much persuasion on both Bam and Ryan’s parts, a scolding nurse had set him up in a bed not far from Amelia’s private room. He was dosed up on strong pain killers and his nose and lip had been cleaned up.

“I’m glad you’re here Dunn”, Bam mumbled as the pain killers started to kick in.

“Yeah well, I’m not here for you”, Ryan retorted, but his eyes softened and his lips twitched into a smile. “But I’m glad to see you’re still in one piece”, he added.

Bam grinned lazily. Tiredness was beginning to take over his body. “I don’t deserve to be.”

“You’re talking bullshit again Bam”, Ryan admonished.

Bam chose to ignore him as he fought to keep his eyes open. “I’m sorry, you know”, he told Ryan as sincerely as he could muster. With that he gave in and let sleep engulf him.

***

When Bam awoke he found himself surrounded. Sitting around his bedside were April, Phil, Jess, Vito, Ryan and Brandon, who was sitting on Phil’s knee. Bam blinked several times, taking in the sight of his family gathered around him.

“How long was I out for?” he frowned at Ryan, wondering how they’d gotten here so quick.

“About twelve hours dude”, Ryan laughed.

“Oh Bam, are you ok?” April jumped up and immediately started to fuss over him.

Instinctively Bam pushed her away and sat up. “How’s Amelia?” he demanded.

“There’s been no change”, Ryan assured him.

Bam relaxed slightly and as he leant back in bed he noticed the look of distress on his family’s face. Amelia was still part of this family, despite the way he had treated her.

“What are you guys doing here?” he questioned, looking at Vito and Jess. He wasn’t surprised to see Ape and Phil, but he had not expected such a sizeable welcoming party.

Vito jabbered something incomprehensible while Jess shrugged and said “we felt like a vacation!”

“Don’t be silly Bam, we’re here to see you. I was so worried!” April exclaimed, resuming her fussing. Bam did not have the energy to stop her this time.

“You’re still here”, he glanced at Ryan questioningly.

“Rose is with Amelia”, Ryan said casually, by way of explanation. “I thought you might need back up”, he added shooting a deliberate glance at Vito, who was eating a bunch of grapes.

Bam couldn’t help but laugh. “Appreciate it dude.” It was almost as if nothing had changed between them. Almost, but not quite.

“How’s your head?” Phil asked, sensing the tension in the room and attempting to change the subject.

Bam rubbed his head with his good arm. “Much better actually, thanks.” It still felt a little bruised, but the majority of the pain had gone. He wished he could say the same for his heart.

“Perhaps it knocked some sense into you”, Jess teased.

Bam stuck his tongue out at his older brother.

“Oh we can only hope”, April joined in, smiling at her sons. “I bet you’re hungry aren’t you?”

“I am!” Vito interrupted before Bam could even nod.

***

Once April was satisfied that her son was suitably fed, watered and medicated, she, Phil, Jess and Vito left Bam in order to give him some space. She sensed that he and Ryan had some talking to do and she was anxious to see her daughter in law.

Bam audibly breathed a sigh of relief once his family had left. He was pleased to see them but he couldn’t stand being fretted over by April.

Brandon was sitting on the bed beside him playing with a teddy bear that Ryan had bought him from the gift shop.

“I think this is the first time I’ve seen you two together like this”, Ryan observed, smiling at father and son playing together.

Bam grimaced slightly as he looked at Brandon. “I know I’ve got a lot of making up to do.”

“You can say that again”, Ryan agreed. “But better late than never.”

Bam nodded slightly. “I still don’t understand why you’re sticking around”, Bam told him. “Why don’t you go and see Amelia?”

“Look Bam, I might not particularly like you lately, but you’re my friend and I’m worried about you.”

Bam looked down, ashamedly. It was far more than he deserved. “You don’t need to worry about me anymore; I’m in one piece aren’t I?”

Ryan sighed loudly. “Don’t push me away Bam, I swear to God this is your last chance. I’m willing to put everything behind us now and forget what an asshole you’ve been, but you need to meet me halfway”, Ryan looked at him seriously.

“Why would you do that? I treated you like shit”, Bam’s brow knitted together in confusion.

“Because”, Ryan began. “I have a feeling that everything’s going to change from now on and I think you could use a friend.”

“What do you mean?” Bam frowned. “Are you talking about Amelia?”

“When she wakes up and recovers, she’s going to need a lot of help from the people around her. No matter what’s happened in the past, she’s going to need you Bam. You can’t go back to acting like a dick. You need to grow up and put your family first.”

Bam noticed the way Ryan used the term ‘when’ rather than ‘if’ and he was grateful for this. “You’re right Dunn”, he sighed.

After a few moments of silence, Bam stood up. “I need a smoke”, he said to Ryan, before realising he was still in the hospital gown the nurse had forced on him after his fight with Johnny.

“I brought you some clothes”, Ryan laughed at the expression of horror on Bam’s face. “They’re mine but they should fit you.” He threw a rucksack at Bam.

Bam smiled at Ryan gratefully and pulled on the clothes as best as he could with one arm.

“Do I have to do everything?” Ryan rolled his eyes jokingly as he watched Bam fight with the t-shirt. He walked over and helped Bam get his broken arm through the sleeve as gently as possible.

“Have you seen Knoxville? Bam asked as nonchalantly as possible.

“He’s in Amelia’s room. I don’t think he’s been home yet.” Ryan shrugged, picking Brandon up before they left. “What was going on with you two last night? I thought you’d both have more sense than that.”

They came to a stop outside Amelia’s room before Bam could reply. The blinds were drawn and the door was shut. Ryan knocked on the door gently and Rose appeared. Bam was surprised to see her looking so worse for wear. He’d never seen her looking anything other than pristine before.

“I think your nephew would like some cuddles, if you have any to spare”, Ryan smiled gently at Rose, passing Brandon into her arms.

Rose returned the smile weakly. “Bam”, she acknowledged with a sympathetic nod. “How are you feeling?”

Bam was taken aback by her friendly manner. “Better, thanks”, he mumbled.

“I’m glad you’re ok”, she told him sincerely, holding Brandon tightly to her chest.

Bam was too surprised to reply. Why was everyone being so courteous to him?

“We’re just going for a smoke”, Ryan told her. “Do you want anything?”

Rose shook her head wearily. “I finally got hold of mum and dad. They’re on their way but they probably won’t arrive til tomorrow night.”

“Ok”, Ryan put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Why don’t you go back to my hotel and have a shower, get changed. There are plenty of us here.”

Rose nodded gratefully. “I’ll wait til you get back. I’ve tried persuading him to go home but he won’t leave”, she sighed gesturing inside the room. Bam could only assume she was referring to Johnny.

“I’ll talk to him”, Ryan assured her.

“Why is everyone being so nice to me?” Bam voiced his thoughts to Ryan once they were outside.

“I know you’ve been a jerk Bam, but believe it or not, nobody actually wishes you were dead. I suppose the fact that you were pretty much unconscious when everyone arrived helped. They were all worried.”

“Oh”, said Bam, in a small voice. He felt somewhat humbled by the fact that so many people had been worried about him.

“Jeff and Steve dropped by this morning”, Ryan informed him.

“This morning?” Bam asked, puzzled. “What time is it now?” He’d forgotten that he’d been out of it for so long.

“It’s four in the afternoon”, Ryan laughed, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and offering one to Bam. “But let’s not change the subject. I was asking you about Johnny.”

Bam lit his cigarette and exhaled a large cloud of smoke before answering Ryan. “I provoked him”, Bam shrugged.

“You’re admitting it was your fault?” Ryan gave Bam a look of disbelief, prompting Bam to tell him the whole story.

While he hadn’t exactly lie to Johnny about what had happened between him and Amelia, he had certainly bent the truth in order to get a reaction out of him. Ryan could make of that what he would, but Bam started to feel slightly remorseful. Johnny was having just as rough a time of it as he was.

“You don’t have to say anything Dunn. I know I should apologise to him”, Bam added before Ryan could give his input.

“I agree, but I wasn’t going to say that. Does she really still have feelings for you?” Ryan looked at him incredulously.

“That’s what she said”, Bam repeated, wishing so much that she hadn’t. Things would be a lot easier, that was for sure.