The Wolf of the Snow

I was shaking. My head spun. I couldn't understand what had happened. Jasper shouldn't have acted like that, but I had no right to attack him like that. The guilt ate at me.

"Damn Ahna. Temper much." Paul teased in my head as I replayed what had happened.

"Shove off Paul." I snarled and blocked my mind from his. But just that mental barier wasn't enough. I could still feel him on the edge of my conscience, trying to pry his way into my head. So I shifted back, not caring that I was now walking around naked.

I replayed what I did over and over in my head, willing it to somehow just disappear, but I knew it wouldn't. The world didn't work like that.

I screamed in frustration, taking a swing at a near by tree, spliting a piece of it off and busting my knuckles open in the prossess. It healed almost instantly, but the pain was enough to clear my head and calm me down.

I sat on a fallen log and sighed. I just ruined my friendship with the Cullens. Why did I do that. I can usually control my temper so well. Now I was no better than Paul.

"Rough day?" Sam's voice pushed my thoughts away. He was standing to the side in just shorts, a long t-shirt held out to me.

I took it greatfully and sighed while putting it on, "You could say that."

"Paul told us what he saw in your head. All of it." The way he said that, made it seem as if Paul had saw more than what had happened.

I looked at Sam confused.

"Do you really love him?" He asked seriously.

My eyes widened, "Wha...what? No I don't love him!"

Did I? I had acknowledged that I was starting to grow feelings for him, but LOVE? No, I wasn't capable of loving someone like that, not after what I went through the last time I did. It wasn't worth the heartache.

"Ahna, Paul saw it. The way you were thinking about him. How you were so upset with yourself because you hurt the one you love."

Did I really think that? I was so confused, I very well could have thought that.

"I...I don't remember thinking it, but I suppose that it is possible that I did. It doesn't mean it's true. I was so confused, my thoughts were chaotic." I answered, eyes wide.

Sam sighed, "You are a horrible liar."

"I don't love him." I said definsively, "I may sort of like him in a romantic way, but love is out of the question."

He just shook his head, when we patrol, he is the only Cullen that you think about Ahna. You may not relise it yet, but you are in love with a vampire. And oddly enough, I'm ok with it. As long as he makes you happy, and doesn't hurt you in anyway.

I looked down, afraid that I might start crying, "It doesn't matter now. I ruined any chance I had at finding out if that is true."

"He provoked you." Sam argued.

"But I could have controlled myself. I've done it countless times before. I didn't this time. They'll never forgive me for that." I said hopelessly.

"Than why has Jasper called the house phone a dozen times? And the rest of them at least once or twice?" He countered.

I looked up, surprised, "Have they really? Probably just to chew me out and tell me never to contact them again."

Sam actually smacked me upside the head.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, rubbing the back of my head, "That hurt."

"Good." was all he said before he grabbed me by the arm and dragged me all the way back home, where he forced me in some clothes and then sat me down at the table to listen to all of the voice messages the Cullens had left.

They were worried about me, wanted to know if I was ok, that I was safe. They begged me to call them back. Truthfully, it just made me feel worse. They were too good for a monster like me.

Sam seemed to read what I was thinking by my facial expression, "Will you stop the self pitying act! We are werewolves! Shapeshifters, whatever. We lose our tempers, it's the way of life. And at least he is immortal! He can heal. Emily will never be able to do that. She will have those scars for the rest of her life!"

I flinched at the truth in his words, but it didn't make me feel any better.

"It shouldn't be ok, just because it's in our nature." I said so softly I wasn't sure if he could hear me.

He sat down next to me with a sigh. "No, it doesn't make it ok. But it is something that we have to live with. You are a hundred years old Ahna, you should know this already."

I looked at him. He looked so tired. So mentally worn out. He looked years older than he should.

"You're never too old to learn something new." I whispered, than went upstairs and fell into a troubled sleep.

I stayed in La Push for weeks after that, too afraid to set foot outside our territory for fear of running into one of the Cullens especially Jasper. What Sam had said, about me loving him, it scared the crap out of me. What if it was true? The heartbreak from my last relationship, nearly fifty years ago, almost killed me. I couldn't open myself up like that again.

There had been more and more vampire spottings in our territory, too many for just the four of us to investigate all of the scents. It kept us plenty busy, and kept my mind off of Jasper.

"This scent is the strongest we've found." Sam said as all four of us raced after a leech in our territory, noses to the ground incase he took off in a different direction.

"We need to speed up." I said, starting to pant, but pushing my legs faster, we had been at this for hours.

They followed suit, ignoring all of their complaining muscels, excited at the thought of catching a vampire.

"I can see him!" Jarred exclaimed, causing us to move faster, almost to our breaking point.

In the distance we could indeed see the leech. He was moving faster than any vamp I had seen. Which could only mean one thing.

"Be careful, I think its a newborn!" I said.

"So?" Paul said back.

"They are stronger and faster than normal leeches because they still have their old human blood in them. Whatever you do, do not let him get his arms around you. He could crush before you even know what's happening." I explained.

They nodded and our chase continued.

"He is getting closer to Cullen territory." Jarred warned.

Not wanting to lose our quarry, I leaped, sailing right into him, and bringing us both down. The others soon reach us and we tore him apart, Jarred shifting and starting a fire to burn the peices.

"Ahna." Jasper's voice made me freeze. I was standing right on the edge between the territories.

Paul growled, taking a step forward, but Sam's commanding bark haulted him. I looked over at Jasper, meeting his gaze. His eyes held so much saddness in them.

"Go on Ahna. You two need to talk." Sam said. I didn't understand exactly why he was being so supportive of this. Maybe I was more happy when I was with Jasper then I realised.

I looked back at the pack, but they were gone, and soon their thoughts were gone as well. I looked back to Jasper, then leaped over the river that seperated us and landed softly next to him, my fur accidently brushing againsted him.

"I've been worried about you. You never returned any of our calls." He said, his voice soft.

I whimpered, nudging his hand.

"It's fine, see." He held it up and moved his fingers, "It was my own fault anyway. I just can't stand the thought of you getting hurt. But I should never have acted the way I did."

I brushed against him, showing that I didn't blame him.

"Could you phase back? I'd like to be able to talk to you." He asked gently.

I nodded, going behind a large tree and shifting back, then putting my clothes on and walking back over to him.

"You look worn out." He said.

I shrugged, "Long day. Lots of vampires on our territory."

"I saw." He gestured to the pile of ashes on the quilette side.

"Newborn."

"You fight very well." He said.

I smiled faintly, "I had to be able to fight well. Otherwise I would never have been alpha of my old pack for as long as I had been."

"Do you hate me, Ahna?" He asked suddenly.

His question had caught me so off guard that "no I love you!" almost left my mouth. I caught myself just in time. But it made me realise that I did indeed love the honey blonde vampire in front of me.

"I could never hate you." I said, trying to fight down my emotions so that he wouldn't feel them.

"Good." was all he said, then suddenly, his ice cold lips were on mine.

Every thought in my head disappeared in that instant, and my emotions ran free. All that I could consintrate on was his lips attached to mine. They were oddly soft for him being so hard. Our lips fit together perfectly. I felt the sparks fly, something that I had never experianced before and when he finally pulled away, I couldn't remember which way was up and which way was down. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to kiss him again, and so I did.