Through the Darkness

As the days passed at the hospital I had adopted wearing extra scrubs as I spent most of my time in the NICU. Carlisle had pulled me down to the cafeteria to make sure I was eating right. This morning I was sitting on my bunk eating from a tupperware bowl which I believed was from Jasper. Gut feeling since it was make favorite Chili which Jasper made me every now and again.

"It was nice of Jasper to make the track up here," I mumble softly so only Carlisle would hear.

"Yes," Carlisle agreed with a nod.

Eating the food I wondered how Mercy was this morning; though it had only been hours since I had last seen her. Taking a few more bite I could see he was waiting for me to ask knowing I would.

"So," I asked eying him.

"She a little over two pounds which for two weeks old is really good," Carlisle smile a cautiously that warned me not to hope. "

Why do you look like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop?" I questioned being direct about it.

"She has a whole in her heart about the size of a pin prick and right know we are wait for it to close up like it should.

As long as it doesn't act up we can wait a little while longer till she is bigger and stronger," Carlisle frowned with a remorseful look in his eyes. Standing up I walked over to the trash to drop the rest of the chili in the can cause I couldn't eat anymore as anger fill my veins like fire. Gripping the bowl I threw it at the window with all my strength, but Carlisle zipped over catching it before it could make a mess. As sobs tore through my chest Carlisle put bowl down, and came pulling me into a gentle hug.

"I don't want to talk," I mumbled as I took a few steps back not about to breakdown again.

"Bella," Carlisle whispered as I wiped at the tears.

"No, I'm not doing this," I shook my head as I swallowed hard.

Holding up my hand I want into the bathroom locking the door behind me, and turned on the sink washing my face over with the water. After a minute I took a deep breath as I turned off the water. Grabbing a paper towel I dried off my face; then I looked at myself in the mirror trying to calm down.

"Bella," came Edward's voice from the other side of door.

Unlocking the door I went closing the lid on the toilet before sitting down.

"Hi," I mumbled putting my face in my hands embarrassed.

I could hear him walk over and kneel down in front of me.

"I'm sorry. You not completely breakable, and I should give you more credit and support," Edward apologized as he pulled my hands from my face.

Walking down the hall to NICU with Edward hand around my waist I felt better with him next to me. Merely his presence gave me a since of comfort that calmed my nerves like nothing else could. In the same stroke I figured the snow was melting at last which meant I would have to go home later today sometime. Shaking the thought from my brain I saw Carlisle holding the door open for us.

"Someone is waiting for her bottle," Carlisle smiled ushering us in the NICU.

As my feet lead the way I peered into the isolette Mercy look all of her two pounds.

"Edward, why don't you feed her," I suggested batting my eye trying to dazzle like he did to be so often.

I saw as he swallowed hard not crazy about the ideal.

"I'll take care of him," Nurse Taylor smirked as she grabbed a reluctant Edward dragging him off.

Stifling a laugh I clamped my hand over my mouth which didn't help much.

"It's good to see that smile," Carlisle said simply as he looked my way.

"He looks so not confident; which is so different for him," I replied looking down at Mercy.

"What to touch her," Carlisle asked making my eyes snap in his direction.

"Really?" I asked as the air caught in my throat.

"Yes," Carlisle answered as he went opening the port holes and stepping aside letting me take his place.

Gently I placed my hands through the holes being careful to move slowly. First I touched the blonde fuzz that was her hair; which felt like the softest thing I'd ever touched in my life. Moving my hand to her arms there was even thinner fuzz, but she was warmer than I expected her to be. It wasn't like she running a fever or something. She was warm... Lightly moving my finger to rest against her tiny chest just to feel her little heart beating.

"Is there any way out of this?" came Edward's voice causing me to withdraw my hands.

"No," I shook my head as I looked up at him.

Taking him by the hand I led him to the rocking chair. Watching him sit down I turned my head to see Carlisle holding Mercy in his hands. As Carlisle handed Mercy to Edward I could see him staring at her in awe.

"Not so bad," Edward mumbled as he look into those tiny eyes full of innocence.

She was damaged like I was from my parents yet. More than anything I wanted to protect her from those thing that hung over everything even now. Even as happy I was with Edward. When he left it was my greatest fear come true for the three year old inside me. I hadn't understood why Charlie had been gone when I was little because I didn't understand yet that Renee had left and not the other way around.

Seeing Edward feed Mercy her bottle I put all my insecurities aside just to enjoy this moment with the two most important people in my life right now. Chuckling I couldn't help it for the mere fact he looked like she would shatter right there in his arms. This was a side I had never really seen from him that made him look even more human which made me love him all the more.

"She's fine," I encouraged as I kissed him lightly on the lips.

"I think I get it. She is something amazing. Watching her I'm amazed at how strong she is. Carlisle is right; she's a fighter," Edward whispered softly as he glanced up at me.

"I know," I smiled slightly.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Edward asked knowing me too well.

"You don't want to hear this," I said before thinking.

"Please, I do," Edward pleaded as he dazzled me with his eyes.

"I wish we could keep her, so she could be ours forever," I admitted as my heart beat wildly in my chest.

"If we got married there could be a very good chance we'd be considered," Edward smirked like he had caught me.

Married... That scared me to death for many reasons; not to mention my own parents hadn't made it work. Yet at the same time I knew he wouldn't make the same mistake twice ever again. Then there was me, and I knew he was my heart. Looking around I noticed we were alone, and I grabbed the sticky note pad and pen out of my pocket.

"For until Alice has her big shindig wing-a-ding. No running or leaving," I answered writing on the stick note.

"No hiding," Edward added as I wrote it down.

"No secrets," I continued as added to the list.

"No more than twenty-four hours away from one another," Edward smiled as he watch Mercy eat.

"We make all decision together," I smiled up at Edward softly.

"You have the right to add to these vows whenever needed," Edward stipulated as Mercy finished off her bottle.

Signing the bottom I then held it for Edward, and he signed without even moving Mercy a little.

"I love you, Mr. Cullen," I smirked as I felt happier than I thought possible.

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen," Edward smiled from ear to ear.

Leaning down I kissed my husband, and then kissed the top of Mercy's head softly.

"Reach into my pocket on the left side," Edward instructed as his smile turned into a smirk.

Reaching in his pocket I grabbed a small square box out.

"Edward," I questioned still not liking him spending so much on me.

"It was my grandmother's on my dad's side. She bought them from some friends who were in need of money. Never having the chance to return them she pass them to me hoping I get use out of them," Edward explained speaking softly like he remembered the day.

Back at home I sat in my room looking at the rings on my hand, and I was waiting to fill weird about it somehow that would make me freak. All I could think is how Edward had insisted on taking our vows to be framed to be hung in our home after Alice planned us some big wedding. I guess all those thoughts swirling around in my head that I didn't hear my door open.

"What is that," came Charlie's voice making me snap back to reality.

"An engagement ring. Edward asked me and I accepted. We're not rushing to the alter just yet," I rattled off knowing he was bound to freak even if I hadn't.

Charlie took a deep breath as he came to sit next to me looking remorseful.

"I wasn't there like I should of been, and I don't have the right to stop you. Grounding you was a stretch since you are legal that is," Charlie mumbled as he looked at the floor defeated.

"I'll always love you, dad. This isn't me kicking you out of my life; I'm just learning to live my life the best I can. Sometime long ago I was kicked out of the nest, and learned to fend for myself with out you or mom. It made me who I am today. Thinking things through are first nature to me, and I wouldn't trade a moment of it for anything. I'm here today for the simple fact you and mom made the choices you did. The time has come for me to make my own mistakes, but I know this isn't a mistake not for me. I love him more than I thought possible," I tried to explain where I was coming from with out choking the word dad.

"Long time ago I knew that feeling, but I cut it off after everything. I guess I've been trying to save you from the hurt I went through," Charlie whispered glancing up at me.

"Maybe it's time for you to open up your heart again," I suggested taking him by the hand and squeezing gently.

"You're not grounded," Charlie relented as he stood up.

"How about I cook those steaks in the fridge?" I smiled as I got up from the bed.

"Sounds good," Charlie said leaving the room.

Glancing at myself in my mirror I looked different some how, and I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Heading downstairs I went to the kitchen grabbing a bowl, and went to putting a little of this and that to make a quick marinade for the steaks. Hearing the phone ring I rushed to the wall phone grabbing it.

"Hello, this is Bella," I bubbly almost as I was very happy.

"Bella, it's Carlisle," Carlisle spoke sound strange even for him.

"Carlisle, what's up," I asked as I felt my heart pounding in my chest.

Hearing the words the phone slide out of my hand crashing to the floor with a thud.