Dirty Little Secrets

“Are you still mad at me?” I asked Eric as he put things into his locker.

He let out an audible breath. “No, I don’t believe so.” He turned to face me. “But it was still shitty what you did.”

“I swear, we didn’t ditch you to have sex. We were just…in our own world.”

“I get it. Well, I really don’t get it because I haven’t met my soul mate yet, but I get it. He’s the most important thing in your life.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. My family and friendships are the most important things in the world. Not just him.”

He half smiled and slung his backpack around his shoulder. “Are you walking me to class?”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

We were getting close to his classroom when he started talking again. “Pretty soon, we’ll be graduating and you and John will go off on your own and get married and leave Jared and I here alone.”

“Don’t think like that, Eric. I’m sure we’ll see each other plenty after graduation.”

“Do you promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

He smiled and picked me up in the middle of the hallway then set me back down before walking in the class.

“Attention seniors!” Alexis’s voice shrieked through the intercom like every morning. “Prom tickets are now on sale. The three week countdown starts now!”

I shuddered every time I heard her weasily voice. I started walking backwards then of course I ran into someone. “Sorry…” I said absently and the person held onto my arm. “Kennedy!”

I looked into his shining eyes and he was looking at me like he didn’t want to look at anybody else. “Hey Danny. How’s it going?”

“Pretty damn well. How about yourself?”

“I could be better.”

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay with Alexis?” Not that I cared about Alexis, but I did care about Kennedy.

“Ah, she dumped me last week for some other guy.”

“I’m sorry to hear about that.”

He waved me off. “Don’t be. She was a bitch.” He looked past me for a moment then turned to walk me in the direction of my class. “So what are you doing for college? ASU?”

“Probably not.”

“Were you not accepted? I thought they accepted everybody.”

“No, I was accepted. I’m just going somewhere else.”

“Where?”

The tardy bell rang but we made no sign of being bothered by it.

“New York, actually. I got a full ride to Julliard.”

“A full ride? I didn’t know Julliard gave those away!”

“They don’t give them away. You have to work your ass off for one and they really want me there.”

“Congratulations! What does John think about that?”

“He doesn’t. I haven’t told him yet.”

“Don’t you think you ought to do that? Like soon?”

“Yeah but… I don’t know how he’s going to take it. I don’t want to upset him.”

“Just take my advice and tell him.”

I really wanted to tell him, but worst case scenario: he could break up with me. That probably wouldn’t happen, but there was a slight chance that it could and I didn’t want to take that chance. At lunch I was sitting as close to John as possible with his hand resting on my hip while finishing the last bite of my sandwich.

Megan stood up at the end of the table to throw her trash away then the bell rang and John and I stood next to her as she gave me this maniacal smile.

“Mom told me she was taking you to the doctor today because you two had sex.”

“It’s to put me on the pill you little weirdo.”

She stuck her tongue out at me then turned her attention to John. “Are you going to visit her in New York next year?”

“Megan…” I groaned. I gave her a look of despair.

“I thought you’d told him already!” She pleaded as Garrett pulled her away.

“What’s she talking about?” John turned me to face him as the feeling of wanting to cry grew stronger. “What are you doing in New York?”

I stared at him for a while before beginning to answer. “I’m going to Julliard.”

“Were you planning on telling me yourself or just leaving when the time came?”

“I was going to tell you but all of these things were happening and it just didn’t feel like the right time.”

He looked around the cafeteria then fixed his gaze on the floor. “How long have you known?”

“A month.”

“Who am I to hold you back from what you want to do. I’ll just be here at ASU studying business or some shit like that.”

I put my hands on his face and made him look at me before I kissed him. “That doesn’t mean the rest of the year has to go to hell because you know I’m leaving in August. Let’s make the best of the time we have together. And I’ll always come back to visit you.”

He smiled and kissed me before taking my hand and walking to class. “I’m happy for you, babe. I really am. But you can’t keep something like this a secret from me.”

****

“Smile!” My mom said before snapping the picture of John and I sitting on the tailgate of his truck. He was wearing all black with a red tie that matched my dress that he’d picked out himself. He’d started to grow out his hair again and he looked freaking adorable I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. “Danielle, you weren’t even looking at the camera. You were looking at John.”

“Is that a problem?”

“Well I’d like to capture your makeup I spent half an hour on!”

Jared and Eric showed up at my house with their dates, Tiffany and Maddie, respectively; and Kennedy arrived as well with this random girl named Emily. Kennedy and I were sort of friends again, as good of friends as exes could be.

Once at prom, the first couple of songs the DJ played were club rap songs. Then Get Low came on and John and I and the rest of our group freaked the fuck out. That was our shit. And John was right, he was a pretty good dancer.

“At this time we’d like to announce the prom king and queen,” Mike said into the microphone after some popular song I didn’t know. “Your 2006 prom king is…” He opened up the golden envelope. “John O’Callaghan!” Everyone cheered as I stood there in awe. I was dating the prom king. I guess that’s a big deal, right? “And your 2006 prom queen is…” Several girls gasped and held onto each other’s hands as I watched John whisper something into Mike’s ear. It was anyone’s game. “Alexis Wade!” There was next to complete silence before she shrieked somewhere in the crowd then ran up to the stage. “Alexis, I’m going to need you to put this on…Danielle Nunn because she’s the prom queen!”

I bursted out in laughter before walking up to the stage next to John who was also laughing quite heartily. He took my hand and led me out to the dancefloor.

“And now the prom king and queen will share their ceremonial dance.”

Aerosmith’s I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing started playing as John and I swayed side to side then twirled me. I felt like I was in Wonderland or something.

“Did you have something to do with that?” I asked with a smile.

“Maybe. Did you enjoy it?”

“Of course. Her face just made my life worth living.”

“I don’t make your life worth living?”

“No. You make me live.”

“I love you,” he said before kissing me.

“I love you too.”

Midnight rolled around signaling the end of prom.

“What is it about prom that makes people want to have sex?” I asked as we saw some couples hastily walking to their cars.

“I don’t know, but it’s kind of the norm isn’t it?”

“Nothing screams romance like a deadline date and a cheap motel.”

“You want to go back to your house and watch a movie or something?” He asked me and smiled, nudging my shoulder with his. This is why I love him. He’s so casual and effortless.

--John--

I don’t know why – well I do know why – but I always needed to be near Danny. She was leaving in a few months. I had to make every minute with her count and memorable. I felt almost possessive of her. Not in a creepy, “if I can’t have her no one can” way, but in a “I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl” way. She was amazing. And yet I still wanted more.