Dirty Little Secrets

Tuesday after school, Kennedy and I were hanging out with the clan, as well as John’s band and Alexis at Garrett’s house.

“Hey guys, let’s play truth or dare,” Pat suggested.

“With two girls? Okay,” Jared rolled his eyes.

“It’s not like it’s spin the bottle,” he argued and everyone finally agreed.

Pat wrote out 10 truths and 10 dares for everybody and put them in a hat as we passed it around.

“Give a lap dance to the person directly across from you?” Kennedy read. “What the fuck Pat?” He looked across from him and Alex was sitting there, scared out of his mind. Regardless, he gave him a lap dance as I died from laughter.

“Flash or moon everybody,” I said. “Great.” Since they show butts on cable TV and not breasts, I decided to stand up and moon everybody.

“Kiss the person next to you (either one, or both)." John said out loud. Being that Ryan was on the other side of him, he turned towards me and turned red.

“Come on, for old time’s sakes!” Jared said obnoxiously.

My heart was beating out of my chest. Since he was being too slow, I took his face in my hands and kissed him earnestly. I can’t believe I was finally kissing him again. And I didn’t even have to feel guilty about it. As we tore apart from each other, his eyes were still closed and I noticed everyone in the room fell silent.

“I meant like on the cheek or something,” Pat said meekly as I turned red with John. “But whatever.”

The round of dares was over and we started the truths.

“Name one thing you’ve repressed,” Kennedy said. “I don’t know, that’s why I repressed it. I guess when this girl I liked in middle school pants’d me and laughed.”

“Who was your first kiss?” Mine read. “This guy right here,” I said and nodded in John’s direction. “About two years ago.”

“Was she your first too?” Garrett asked John intently.

“Yeah. She was.” I had a feeling John was going to pass out from embarrassment or something by the time this game was over.

“Why do I always get these,” he said before reading his aloud. “Who did you lose your virginity to and if you haven’t, who would you do?” He looked around the room. “Well, since this is TRUTH or dare…” He paused an extra-long time. “I’d have to say my best friend. Danny.”

In front of Alexis, in front of Kennedy, he finally said something to make me believe he liked me too. Even if it was losing his virginity to me. I’d do it.

After the game was over and suspicions arose over John and I’s so called “friendship” he disappeared and I found him outside smoking a cigarette. He looked like he’d never been so happy to see me, yet wanted to be as far away from me as possible.

“Hey,” I said as I sat down and took his cigarette out of his hand, had one drag and handed it back.

“I thought you said these were disgusting.” He smiled at me as he blew smoke out of the side of his mouth.

“They are. I thought they’d have changed by now.”

“Is Kenny angry at me or anything?”

“No. He wasn’t phased at all by what happened in there.”

“Well are you? Angry?”

“Why would I be angry? I’m honored you’d consider me your first lay.”

He chuckled and put his arm around my neck and pulled me closer.

“You laugh like a California surfer dude,” I said and he laughed falsely. “No that doesn’t fit you. Go back to being from California.”

“Oh, that reminds me. Eric and I are planning a trip to Huntington Beach during spring break, and we’re going to go to Disney Land too. Clan members only. No Kennedy, no Alexis.”

“Sounds legit. So are you and her a thing now?”

He started smiling. “Yeah. I asked her out after lunch.”

“Oh my God! Double date this weekend!” I said pseudo-excitedly.

“Sure. Why not.”

--John--

I had to ask Alexis out. It was the only way to distract me from Danny. I wanted so badly to tell her that I wanted to be with her, but it was so complicated. She was indulging in a romance with Kenny and I was pretending to like someone to hide my true feelings. I hate high school.

“Just be careful, John.” She warned. “You know I love you and I’d hate to see you get hurt.”

I’ll never hurt you.

“The same goes for you. You’re the only girl in my life besides my own mother who I care so much about.”

This was as close as I could get to telling her I was in love with her without telling her I was in love with her. She kissed my cheek before Kenny came outside.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked. She answered by standing up and going with him.

“See you tomorrow, boo.”

I waved her off and Alexis quickly replaced her. “So you have a show this weekend?” She asked creepily. If I could see into the future, I could see her as a groupie.

“Yep. Are you coming?”

“I wouldn’t miss it!” She kissed me and I was secretly resentful because she replaced my last kiss with Danny. She couldn’t compare. I was kind of regretting asking her out because already she annoyed me.

I woke up the next morning and I missed Danny’s presence lying next to me. I couldn’t restrain from her much longer.

We all congregated at the lunch table and I was sitting next to Danny as she held Kenny’s hand and rested her head on my shoulder. Alexis showed up as the bell rang and everyone ran away except for me.

“What the hell was that?” She asked with that same paranoid tone Kim had.

“What was what?”

“Why did she have her head on your shoulder like that? She is dating Kennedy, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, so?”

She scoffed. “Girls like that are so trashy. She’s a home wrecker, John.”

“Look, Alexis. You don’t know a thing about her.”

“I don’t want you hanging out with her anymore.”

“She’s my best friend. Asking me not to hang out with her is like me asking you not to hang out with Lizzie.”

“Okay. Well choose, John. It’s either her,” she kissed me tackily. “Or me.”

“Her.”

“What?”

“Her!” I said slower. I walked away and into my tech class, leaving her standing there with her mouth open. It felt good to be a single man again.

“You seem exhilarated, what’s up?” Kennedy asked as he lifted the hood of the car we were working on.

“I just broke up with Alexis.”

“So soon?”

“She was talking shit about Danny and gave me an ultimatum for defending her. The funny thing was she thought I would choose her over Danny.”

The next day after school Danny was at my house before me. “Where’s the party?” She asked as I walked up to the door.

“About three hours away. There are some more cases in the back of the truck.”

“Kennedy told me what happened yesterday,” she said once she came back in with a case tucked under each arm.

“I’m not going to let someone tell me who you are. I think I would already know.”

She hugged me tightly. “Thank you for standing up for me. You’re beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” I said. I can’t believe I let that slip out.

She looked up at me, blushing madly and stopped hugging me. “Ahem,” I heard and almost jumped out of my skin. I looked over and Jared and Eric were standing there with confused looks on their faces. “Yoko, are you trying to break up the band?” He asked and I started laughing.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, blushing.

Maybe I shouldn’t have told Kennedy I was fine with them dating. I didn’t mean to sound mean, but their relationship would run its course and I’d just have to be patient.

“So is uh…” I cleared my throat and rubbed my neck. “Is Kenny coming tonight?”

“No. It’s his mom’s birthday.”

“Oh.”

I felt anxious for the party to start. I only had a couple of beers for the night and I kept watching Danny and she was drinking lightly too. She was laughing with different groups of people until she made her way over to me.

“Well don’t you seem like a bum?” She said.

“Sorry. Had a bad breakup yesterday.”

“You didn’t even date her a whole day!” She said then laughed. “Come on,” she pulled me into my room.

“What are we doing in here?”

She held up the picture of me and her and I started to smile.

“There’s that smile!”

“I hate you for making me smile,” I said and plopped down on my bed. I felt her get on the bed beside me and put her hand on my back. I turned my head to look at her and she was smiling widely. “What?”

“Nothing.” She picked up my hand and made me touch her neck. Her heart was beating so fast. Then she leaned down and kissed me and I pulled her down and hovered on top of her. I didn’t know where this confidence was coming from. Maybe because she made the first move.

“Wait,” I said and pulled away. “Is this like last time when we just forgot it ever happened?”

She was stroking my arm then pulled me down to kiss her again. “I hope not.”

I wrapped my arms around her as she moved on top of me.

“What about Kennedy?” I asked, breaking away from her again.

“Do you ever shut up?” She smiled and attached her lips to mine again.

After we made out for a good fifteen minutes, I was just holding her and she had her leg hitched up on mine and her head was resting on my chest. What I’ve wanted all along and I finally had her.