All I Know to Do Is Shed a Tear for You

I could see the wheels working in Zacky's and Jimmy's heads as the continued to glare at Matt. They were certain that Matt was the reason of my tears. They were so certain even though I hadn't even opened my mouth to say a thing. Not that they really gave me a chance. They were too busy shooting question after question at Matt.

"Guys. Stop. It wasn't his fault. I swear. We were just talking okay" I spoke softly, causing all of the boys around me to look at me. "I didn't even realize I was crying."

Jimmy seemed to accept my explanation, his expression softening considerably, yet Zacky seemed hesitant. He still had a look of caution on his face as he nodded at me. A moment of silence passed before Jimmy awkwardly suggested we begin heading back before the less savory folk started roaming the streets.

As we walked Zacky stayed close to my side with one arm thrown around my shoulder protectively. Matt and Jimmy walked a little bit in front of us speaking in hushed tones. The entire atmosphere was awkward and tense. A complete one eighty from what it had been earlier in the day.

"Are you going to stay over again?" Zacky asked, bumping our shoulders together lightly as we walked.

My pace had slowed slightly and we had begun trailing pretty far behind the others but Zacky kept my pace. I knew he was worried. I could feel it radiating off his body. But he never expressed any concerns with words. At least not yet. Once we got to his house he would probably assault me with a million questions.

"If it's alright" I whispered, afraid to raise my voice lest I ruin whatever mood had settled upon me.

Out of the corner of my eye I watched Zacky nod his head, a pensive look on his face, as we continued in silence. The rest of the walk was quiet. I didn't feel the need to talk and neither did Zacky. Ahead of us Jimmy and Matt still spoke quietly to each other but they didn't attempt to include Zacky or I in the conversation.

Eventually we went our separate ways, Zacky and I stopping once we reached his house as Jimmy and Matt kept walking. Once the other two were out of sight Zacky led me into his house and followed me up the stairs to his room.

"Are you sure you don't want to stop by your house and get some clothes?" he asked as he sat on his bed and watched as I paced the room slowly.

I shook my head as way of answer, deciding to grab a pair of his pajama pants and a wife beater, before making my way into his small bathroom. When I walked back into Zacky's room he was already in bed, his back turned to me.

"What happened with you and Matt back there?" he asked once I was settled in the bed, his arms wrapped around my body as I curled up against him. "There has to be a reason as to why you were crying."

I sighed as I turned my body to look at him, seeing the disbelief in his eyes, before rolling my own. "Zack I swear all we did was talk. I didn't even know I was crying."

"I still don't believe you. You're hiding something. Just promise me that you'll be careful around him okay? I don't want you getting hurt" he whispered, his lips grazing the top of my forehead as his eyes slipped shut.

~~~~~~~

The next morning when I woke up I wasn't alone. Zacky was still passed out, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and was snoring softly. I smiled at him, his hair messed up cutely and the blankest expression on his face, before I gently moved out of his grasp.

After changing into some clothes I had stashed in Zacky's dresser I wrote him a quick note explaining that I had gone home. If I planned on staying at Zacky's any longer, which I did, I would need my own clothes and bathroom essentials. Which meant dealing with the dragon.

I had no sooner set foot in the door than I heard a loud crash next to my head. Slightly stunned I quickly glanced around to find where the plate had come from. Not even a second later my mother came into my field of vision, barely giving me a chance to dodge the second plate that came hurtling towards me.

"Where the fuck were you!?" she screamed as she prepared to launch another glass object at me. "Do you not think of calling? Are you that absorbed with yourself?!"

By the time she had finished screaming at me I was half way up the stairs in an attempt to get away from her. I was beyond fuming, my entire body shaking with anger. "It's not like you even care anyways! All you care about is your precious fucking image. Don't worry mom I didn't ruin it."

I was at the door to my bedroom, had it open and was ready to go into my own little escape, when she hurled her next statement at me. "God, sometime I wish I'd never had you." The words cut through me, causing my eyes to water and an indescribable pain to shoot through my body.

"Sometimes I wished that too." I whispered as I walked into my room.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I quickly and clumsily packed a bag full of clothes. I had full intentions of going straight to Zacky's house. Planned on sneaking out of the window in my room to avoid any further confrontation from the dragon. Yet as I was doing one final check of everything something silver and shiny caught my attention.

It hadn't been my intentions. Hadn't even been a part of my thought process. But I picked it up, feeling it's weight in my hand, and placed it on top of all my clothes. Quietly I slipped out my window, dropping carefully next to the bag I had thrown out of it first, and started towards the park.

I couldn't help as the thoughts I that had assaulted me from a few days previously attacked me once again. They swirled around my head as I let my feet carry me to my secluded corner of the park. All the while I could feel tears streaming down my face but I couldn't bring myself to wipe them away. I just didn't care.

"It isn't healthy to cry so much, you know" an all too familiar voice spoke, his voice both startling me and making me feel a bit calmer at the same time.

"Please, just go away" I pleaded, just now feeling the dead weight of the gun that was sitting in my hands. I didn't even remember pulling it out of my bag, yet there it sat in my hands glistening in the sun.

Instead of leaving he sat down in front of me, his legs crossed and his hands resting on his knees as he watched me carefully. As I sat under his gaze I began attempting to wipe my tears away, suddenly aware of how pathetic I must look. However he merely took my hands in his before moving me into his lap. Immediately my arms wrapped themselves around his neck as I buried my face in his shoulder and sobbed.

"It's gonna be okay Georgie. I'm here. It's alright" he cooed in my ear, his large hands rubbing my back soothingly.

I nodded into his shoulder, my tears beginning to slow slightly, as I became aware that he was readjusting me so he could stand up. Somehow he managed to juggle both my weight and his own as he got to his feet, his steps steady and unwavering as he wrapped my legs around his waist and started walking.

When he sat me down I pulled my knees up to my chest after buckling my seatbelt. As he drove I watched the scenery pass by. The greenery of the park morphing into dismal suburbs. It was then that I realized I had no clue where it was we were going. Though in the back of my mind I figured he was most likely going to his house.

The house he pulled up to was small. At least it looked that way from the outside. It was a one story suburban home with blue shutters on the windows and a blue door. White paint was peeling off the rest of it and the yard looked poorly kept despite the fact it had clearly recently been cut.

I followed him into the house quietly, moving slowly behind him, uncertain of just about everything. Besides the few times I had been attempting to get away from him, I had never really willingly been alone with Matt. Plus this was his house. I wasn't sure if I was going to run into some of his family members or what.

Matt motioned for me to sit on the black leather sofa that sat in the living room before walking off into another room. As I waited for him to return I took in the appearance of the house. It was decorated simply. The walls an off white color and decorated sparsely with pictures. A few showed a younger Matt with what looked like an older version of himself and very pretty woman. An older version of a wide screen television was in front of the couch surrounded by a wall of movies and C.D's. The decoration was simple and plain, making it seem that no one lived here except for Matt.

"All I have is tea" he whispered as he handed me a warm mug. "Are you going to tell me what happened or do you want me to call Zacky?"

At his words I looked up at him, my knees once again pulled up to my chest with the warm mug cradled between my hands, as I rocked back and forth slightly. As usual worry was etched into his facial features as he stared down at me. Gently I shook my head at him, slowly sipping at the tea he had given me.

I knew that if Zacky found out about what happened in the park today and a few days ago he would instantly suggest rehab. That was somewhere I refused to go again. I had spent almost two years there with people shoving solutions to my problems down my throat and being forced to believe that something was medically wrong with me. Not to mention the multiple behavioral medicines I was put on. In all reality until I met Jimmy there I was more of a mess than when I was dealing with my problems myself at home.

"Can you call Jimmy?" I whispered, hoping that he knew his number and could actually get a hold of him.