For the Best

Thoughts of ruining my relationship with Matt forced me to shove Zacky off of me, and his eyes widened slightly as we both stood, staring at each other, breathing deeply trying to get our air back.

“Wh-what just happened?” I asked shakily.

“Nothing.” Zacky said quickly.

“Zacky-” Fear was bubbling up inside of me. Zacky got a panicked look on his face and grabbed my shoulders.

“Nothing happened, Saylee.” He said quickly, and I nodded.

“Nothing happened.” I confirmed and he took a deep breath.

“I’m going out for some fresh air.” He said, and walked out of the bathroom, leaving me still up against the sink as the front door shut. I relaxed some at the sound, but still reality was still inevitable. Zacky and I kissed.

“Saylee? Are you still here?” I heard Matt’s voice, and my stomach churned. I loved Matt, and I just…I kissed his best friend. I felt my stomach make a wrong turn and I quickly fell at the toilet, letting the contents of my stomach empty out into the bowl. I heard the bedroom door open, and I threw up again, feeling sick as Matt rushed in. “Are you alright?” He asked, kneeling beside me with a hand on my back, and I weakly shook my head as I wiped my mouth on my sleeve.

“I’m not feeling too good.” I muttered, and he sighed, sitting down as I threw up again. I can’t believe I let myself do that to Matt. But he couldn’t find out. He just couldn’t. Like Zacky said, it never happened.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
^*Zacky’s POV*^
I walked down the street, headed to Matt and I’s apartment. I tried my damnedest to keep my mind off of what Saylee and I just did, as I kicked the rocks on the sidewalk, but I couldn’t. I kissed her. I kissed Matt’s fucking girlfriend. I wasn’t supposed to do that. That was Brian’s job. He’s the one that steals girlfriends and ruins relationships. I’ve done my fair share of that in the past with other guy’s girls, but not Matt’s. But on the other hand, the past few times I’ve fucked with Matt’s relationships, they haven’t exactly been relationships; they’ve been one night stands that he’s passed onto me, or a girl that he brought home drunk as fuck that I lured off before he could. Though all of his past ‘relationships’ have been one night ordeals. So have Brian and I’s. But now he’s in a real relationship, and he’s in…he’s in love. He loves Saylee, and has already proved that he’ll go to the end of the world for her, and…and I nearly fucked it up.

“Zacky, what the fuck are you doing?” I looked over to my left to see Brian in his car, already back from the airport. I stopped and so did he.

“Uh, just…taking a walk.” I answered and he slowly nodded.

“In forty degree weather?” He asked and I nodded, not exactly minding the chill. “Well, that’s great and all that you’re trying to get out of the house a little more as if you don’t stay out of the house already, but get your ass in the car before you catch a fucking cold. Plus the cops are out looking for your ass, and Matt’s, so this isn’t the best idea.” He said and I rolled my eyes before I walked over and got in the passenger’s side and closed the door, now noticing how cold it was, because the inside of Brian’s car was hotter than hell. He started driving and took a deep breath. “Saylee hit you really hard with that fire poker, didn’t she?” He asked, keeping his eyes on the road as he reached over and put his hand to my forehead.

“No.” I said, as he took his hand away, but then started thinking.

“You’re not acting right; yes she did. She hit you harder than fuck.” Brian corrected me. “I’m surprised your head’s still intact.”

“Okay, maybe she did hit me pretty hard.” Maybe that was why I kissed her. Maybe I’m just not in my right mind. Maybe I never have been in my right mind; hell, look at the people I live around.

“You still look like hell from last night, by the way.” Brian informed me and I nodded, knowing my face was still fucked up from Saylee’s uncle’s beat down in the middle of the street.

“I know.” I muttered, not exactly wanting to be reminded of the incident.

“Hey,” Brian said, and rested a hand on my shoulder, and I looked over at him. “Are you alright?” He asked, and I nodded, looking back down as I ran my fingers along a scratch on my hand. Brian stopped the car, and I knew I would be interrogated, because we could sit here for a while. We were just a block or so away from his place, and it wasn’t a heavily traveled street, so we could sit here and not be disrupted by anyone. “Don’t lie to me.” He said and I shook my head.

“I’m not.” I said and looked up at him. “I’m fucking fine, okay? Nothing’s wrong.” I told him and he took the keys out of the ignition, and put then on the dash, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back.

“Alright.” He said simply, and I sighed, leaning against the door.

“Fine, act like a child.” I said, not really wanting to go back to his house anyways and have to face Saylee and possibly Matt.

“Alright.” He repeated. “If you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong then I have no problem with that, but you can’t blame me for worrying about a guy that I classify as a brother after he was beat to fuck and back first by a guy that was three times as old as him probably, a guy in a jail cell that tried to rape him, and then was bashed in the head with an iron fire poker.” He rambled, trying to get me to crack, but I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t. “I mean, I worry about you, Zack, because you’re my drinking buddy. Without you I’d be drinking alone, and probably wouldn’t steal as many girls from other guys as I do now. One of those other guys being you, but you do the same thing to me, and you have to admit, I kind of saved you from that one blonde chick.” Just when I thought he was going to stop, no, no of course why the fuck would he stop... “Remember that one? She duct taped me to the fucking bed, and stole my wallet. Surely you remember her.” I could tell he was trying not to laugh. “She locked you under the sink, for crying out loud. Remember? I couldn’t help you because I was still tied to the bed, and you were in tears because you were under the sink with all of the cabinets blocked by something… And Jimmy finally came over the next day and found us. And don’t even make me bring up the Japanese bartender in assless chaps that told me and you both that we were too drunk for another shot that one night. We could talk, and I remember it, so obviously we weren’t too drunk. Oh! And do you remember the marshmallow vodka martini experiment?!” I was getting annoyed now, because he seemed to be bringing up everything that I had tried to kind of force into the back of my mind. “Oh my god, you and Matt fucking filled the bathtub with vomit the next morning. I swear, dude I can go on forever with the memories and reasons why I care about you.” I couldn’t keep listening to him, but I didn’t really have anywhere to go. I went to grab the door handle and get out, but he locked the doors. “Also, just thought I’d bring it up since the next day we said nothing about it and kind of acted like it didn’t happen, but, St. Patrick’s Day two thousand eight; we ran around and threw Lucky Charm’s at people, and it was fucking awesome, even if we got thrown in jail and Jimmy had to bail us out, and then continued to lecture us on-” I couldn’t take him anymore.

“I kissed Saylee, okay?! I fucking kissed Matt’s fucking girlfriend! You got it out of me, are you fucking happy now?!” I screamed at him, and he stopped talking. I had to get him to shut up before I began throwing up at the memory of our marshmallow vodka martinis that Matt had also gotten dragged into.

“What?” He asked, his voice quiet and all humor gone.

“Do you see why I didn’t want to tell you?” I asked, looking over at him, and he was just looking at me, shocked. “I kissed her, and I didn’t mean to, we just- it just happened.”

“D-did she kiss you back?” He asked and I just silently nodded.

“We were both kind of into it, and finally realized what we were doing.” I explained.

“What happened?” He asked, his voice still quiet.

“She went into the bathroom to get some Tylenol after I came to, and couldn’t find it, and when I went in and found it we just started talking and…” I trialed off, putting my head in my hands. “I can’t fuck up Matt’s relationship, Brian. I can’t.”

“Just…uh…fuck, man, you kissed Matt’s girlfriend. I don’t know what the fuck to tell you.” He said and I looked back up at him as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I know, I don’t know how to deal with this. Usually when I do this it’s someone that I don’t give a shit about, and can run from if they come after me, but Matt’s like a brother, and I can’t run from him because he knows all of my hiding places.” I said, only dreading the consequences more and more as I thought of what Matt was going to do to me once I told him; if I ever did.

“Well, you can’t keep it from him.” Brian said and I sighed.

“But if I tell him I’ll get killed, and he’ll be pissed off at not just me, but Saylee too, and I don’t want them to break up over something as stupid as this, especially after all he’s gone through for her.” I didn’t want to fuck up their relationship with this one thing, and I knew Saylee didn’t either.

“But if you keep it from him, he’ll find out sometime, and when he does he’ll be twice as pissed because you kept it from him.” Brian had a good point. “Plus, if you do decide to tell him, I’d make sure Saylee was right next to you because well, according to you she kissed you back.”

“God, you and your fucking good points.” I said with a groan, running my hand down my face as propped my elbow on the window sill, and rested my head on my hand.

“I know, but…” He just shrugged. “What can you do?”

“Well, you know, this is the first relationship he seems to actually be in for love and not sexual favors.” I countered. “We can try to keep it from him and not ruin his relationship.”

“Yea, and go for certain death if he ever found out.” He said, but the scary part was that he was serious, and I knew his words were true.

“Let’s just…get back to the house.” I said with a sigh.

“What’s the hurry to get back to the house?” Brian asked with curiosity in his voice.

“I’m going to go drink a bottle of vodka, pass out somewhere in the guest room, and then wake up sometime this afternoon and go out to a bar and drink some more until I can’t see straight, then go back to your place with some girl I don’t know, and spend the night with her, and pray to fuck that magically when I wake up she’ll be gone. But mostly drinking.” I said, not wanting to be in reality right now. “Though maybe we’ll make the drive back okay in the dark, drunk as fuck. Flipping a car into a ditch going about a hundred and eight miles per hour and so drunk I can’t see straight seems like a great way to get out of this right-”

“Don’t talk like that. I’ll drive you sometime tonight.” Brian cut me off, starting the car up again.

“Brian Haner Jr. volunteering to take me to a bar and be a designated driver?” I asked, lightening the mood, and he nodded, seeming as if to realize what he had said.

“Right.” He said, and took a deep breath. “We’ll get Matt to pick us up.”

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
^*Saylee’s POV*^
I seriously wasn’t feeling good, which prompted Matt to carry me to bed, and make me stay there. I kept insisting I was fine though, but the last time I tried to get up he just got in bed with me, and wrapped his arms around me, not about to let me go.

“I’m fine, Matt. I’m just a little nauseated, that’s all.” I said, and he sighed, shaking his head.

“You’re not okay.” He kissed my cheek. “Now go to sleep.” I whispered, and I wanted to. I wanted to go to sleep, because I didn’t sleep well last night the few hours I did sleep, but I didn’t want to sleep.

“Matt,” It was weighing on my mind. I knew I’d probably never sleep again until the words got past my lips. “I need to tell-”

“MOTHERFUCK!” Someone suddenly yelled from the living room, and Matt and I sat up. “SON OF A BITCH, WHO LEFT THE GODDAMN FIRE POKER LEANING BY THE MOTHERFUCKING- OW, THE FUCK, ZACK?!” Brian’s screams echoed, followed by Zacky’s laughter.

“I got ‘em.” Matt got out of bed, and then turned and playfully pointed at me. “Stay.” I rolled my eyes as he said this, a slight smile playing on his face as he then turned back around and walked on out of the room, closing the door behind him, and then there was a noise. “HEY!” He screamed as I heard the fire poker hit the floor. “WHAT THE FUCK, BRIAN?! YOU COULD HAVE FUCKING KILLED ME! YOU CAN’T JUST THROW FUCKING FIRE POKERS AT- COME BACK HERE!” I knew Matt was chasing Brian with the fire poker, because Zacky was laughing harder, and I could hear Brian saying ‘Oh shit’ over and over as two pairs of feet ran through the house.

“Matt, Matt,” I heard Brian, his voice calm, but still tinged in fear. “Dude, dude, just calm-” There was a light, dull noise before something metal hit the floor, but it didn’t sound like the fire poker. “Um, Zacky, did you just throw a fucking fork at me?”

“Oh, good defense.” Matt said and a moment later there was more of the clattering sound as more silverware was thrown, and Brian continued screaming out curse words at the two. I sighed as I lay back down, hoping to fall asleep to the clinging of eating utensils as they fell to the floor from hitting someone. I just hoped they knocked one another out soon.