For the Best

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^*Saylee’s POV*^
Later that night, I laid in the guest bed next to Matt, but I just couldn’t go to sleep. In the past hour he had been asleep I had a lot of time to think, and whenever I thought about something I’d think about it too much, and begin breaking it down, connecting dots, and over analyzing it. Before I got myself all fucked up and fucked myself over, I got out of bed and made my way down the stairs and to the kitchen, where I found the last person I thought I’d find awake.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Zacky asked as I stood at the doorway, and I shook my head as he sat down at the table. “Beginning to think about the kid?” I nodded. “Started freaking out?” I nodded again. “Yea, me too.” He said, and I slowly went over and sat down next to him.

“I don’t know about this, Zacky.” I whispered, a hand resting on my stomach, that wasn’t as flat as I remember it to be two weeks ago.

“Me either. I don’t want to throw in my cards and- I mean, I don’t know anything about kids. I’ve never been around anyone younger than you, really, and when I was, I was a kid myself. And I’m still a kid.” He said and I nodded, knowing where he was coming from.

“But we can’t jump to conclusions just yet, we have to wait until we can get a DNA test done before we really begin freaking out.” I said, and leaned forward on the table.

“I really want it to be Matt’s, because I know he really loves you, and…you guys are perfect for each other.” He took a deep breath as he looked over at me. “But if by the chance it is mine, I’m not just going to abandon you and…the kid. I’ll be there, but I mean, I don’t know how much of a help I’ll be.” I smiled and hugged him as he said this.

“That means a lot, Zack.” I whispered as he hugged me back.

“I just want you to know that no matter what I’m going to be here.” He pulled away and smiled. “And no matter how creepy it sounds, you’ve become really more of a sister to me that I just so happened to fuck about a month ago, and may have possibly gotten pregnant rather than just a hot girl.” We both went silent after he said that.

“Let’s pretend you didn’t say that.” I said and he nodded quickly.

“Right, that sounded terrible.” He cleared his throat and we both stood up.

“Night Zacky.” I said, almost wanting to laugh at how uncomfortable he had become from his own remark.

“Night Say.” He said and we both turned him walking one way out of the kitchen and to the living room, and me walking the way I came in, and back up the stairs. I made my way back to the guest room, and over to the bed, where Matt was still asleep. I got in next to him and curled up in his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me.

“Where’d you go?” Matt mumbled and I pulled away from his chest to see him looking at me curiously.

“I couldn’t sleep so I went down to get something to drink, but ran into Zacky, and we talked a little bit.” I said, but he kept that curious expression on his face.

“You had a two minute conversation?” He asked and I weighed this around a little.

“Well, it got cut short when he made a remark that he thought of me more like a little sister that he happened to fuck a month ago and may have possibly gotten pregnant.” I said and he squeezed his eyes shut hugging me to his chest.

“God I didn’t need to hear that.” I couldn’t help but giggle.

“That’s where overprotection leads you.”

“I’m not overprotective, I’m curious.” I just knew he was pouting like a toddler. “There’s a big difference.”

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The months started passing, and reality got harder. I had to go to doctor’s appointments every few weeks, and I was out of it most of the time due to just being in a daze. I hardly remembered ultrasounds, but I remember Zacky and Matt neither wanting to know if it was a boy or a girl. I sided with them, because every day things got more and more real, especially when I found out I was due in December. The morning sickness started getting worse, I had to pee every ten to fifteen minutes, and I could be threatening to kill Matt one second, and crying into him the next begging forgiveness and telling him I was sorry for what, I didn’t even know. I didn’t see how the three of them put up with me, but they did. I was forever grateful for Matt especially, because he literally never left my side. After a few more months, I was escorted around the house. By Brian. Out of the three of them, Brain was the most on edge about me, and I got a kick out of going into his room at night and frantically shaking his shoulder, because he’d jump out and run around the room like a bat out of hell, screaming orders at Zacky and Matt, therefore waking them up, and I’d just be laughing. Once he got all the way to the car, drove out, and was half way to the hospital before Matt and Zacky came in and found me laughing hysterically. We let him get to the hospital and drive back, and Matt and Zacky stopped him when he tried to take me, and it took a good hour to get him convinced that I wasn’t going into labor. He was fun to fuck with, and Zacky and Matt liked screwing around with him too. But after a month of that, Brian got tired of it, and began waking up more calmly, but it wasn’t near as fun because he stopped panicking. But then December rolled around, and I don’t think Zacky slept at all that first week. He would sit in the hall across from mine and Matt’s room and just watch us. It had begun to get creepy, and the one night I woke up to find him pacing back and forth in the hallway, I decided to tell him I was fine. I got out of bed, and walked over to him, nudging his side with my foot.

“Zacky,” I whispered, and he jolted awake.

“Oh my god, what is it?!” He was up in half a second, one hand on my back, the other holding mine as he began walking me towards the stairs. “The bag’s in the car, it’ll only take us- Just keep breathing, and you- Oh god I need to- MA-”

“Shut up!” I said, quickly putting my hand over his mouth before he could scream Matt’s name and I tried to keep from laughing as I stopped us at the stairs. “Zacky, calm down.” I said, resting a hand on his shoulder, and he nodded. “I’m fine. I’m not going into labor, I’m not dying, I’m fine.” I said and took my hand from his mouth. “You look like hell.” I said as he rubbed his eyes.

“I haven’t slept in a week.” He muttered, looking back up at me with tired eyes.

“Zacky go to bed.” I told him and he looked like I was his mother and I had just told him that he couldn’t go to the toy store. But I was tired and could barely walk as it was, so I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him being all whiney like a toddler.

“But-”

“No buts, even if I were to have to go to the hospital right now, you wouldn’t be able to function properly to do shit.” I said and he nodded, seeming defeated.

“F- wait…” He stared at me for a second. “Why’s the floor wet?” He asked and I then felt the wetness on my legs.

“Shit.” I muttered.

“Oh god, oh god, what the fuck, you said you didn’t have to go to the hospital now!” He yelled and I grabbed his collar.

“Zachary, calm the fuck down.” I said and he nodded.

“MATT! BRIAN! HOSPITAL! NOW!” He screamed, and there was shuffling from Matt and I’s bedroom, and I looked back in time to see Matt run out and slide in his sock feet, and slam into the wall before falling down. He scrambled up, and over to me.

“Okay, okay, let’s not panic. Zacky, you go get Brian, you two meet us at the hospital.” Matt said quickly and Zacky nodded before running down to Brian’s room.

“BRIAN, BRIAN, WAKE THE FUCK UP!” I heard a thud as Matt began helping me down the stairs, telling me that Zacky had pushed Brian off of the bed. Matt and I got to the bottom of the staircase and I stopped for a second at the door to slip on my shoes, and we proceeded out the door, and Matt opened my door for me, and I got in as he ran around and got in the driver’s seat. He cranked the car up, and backed out so fucking fast I swear I left my heart in the driveway, but before he could lurch the SUV forward, I reached over and grabbed his arm, sinking my nails into his inked skin as the pain started.

“I swear, Matt if you kill me on the way over there I’ll get Benji to fucking kill you himself.” I didn’t care if my threat didn’t make sense, I could hardly think.

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^*Brian’s POV*^
“Oh my god, we’re gonna die, oh my god we’re gonna die, oh my god we’re gonna die.” I kept muttering the words over and over as Zacky sped down the highway. I wanted to drive, but no, Zacky had to drive. We stayed a distance behind Matt, but what scared me even more was that he was driving faster than Zacky. As soon as we got to the hospital, we lost Matt and Saylee in the parking lot, because Zacky made a wrong turn instead of going straight to the emergency room. But even as the car stopped and he ran out, I didn’t think I could move. My hand was stuck to the door, my nails imbedded into the interior.

“Get the fuck out, motherfucker, I’m not going through this alone!” Zacky yanked my door open and pulled me out, taking my hand and running with me towards the door. Well, he was running, I was struggling to not fall down and curl up into the fetal position from the drive over. He dragged me through the hospital, and I was in a daze, still not being able to think straight. I had finally gotten a hold of myself once he pushed me into a chair after talking to a nurse, ran into the bathroom, emerged in some scrubs, and then darted into a room. I took a second to get my breath. I kept breathing, just glad that I hadn’t freaked out like I did when she kept fucking with me every night for a good month because she got ‘bored’. Those were cruel prank-

“Oh god.” Zacky flew out of the room and into the bathroom, and the sound of him throwing up met my ears, and it didn’t stop. I just sat there, staring at the door, praying it would be Matt that came out next after some time, but didn’t run to the bathroom. Zacky walked out, and then walked back into the room, seeming to have calmed down.

“YOU BETTER NOT LEA-” Zacky walked out, and ran back into the bathroom. “ZACKY GET BACK IN HERE!” I half wondered why she was screaming for him, but then it came back to me that it could be his child, and if it was he shouldn’t miss this. I just leaned forward in my seat, taking my phone out of my pocket and dialing Benji. He was the only family that she really had here anymore. It rang twice.

“I should shoot you.” His groggy voice answered the phone. “Larry, I’m sick of your drunken calls-”

“Benji, this is Brian.” I think my words snapped him out of his groggy daze. “She went into labor, Zacky’s throwing up, she’s pissed off, I can’t find my heart, Matt’s in the room and I’m beginning to think she’s killed him, and you need to be here before we all fall apart because we’re not cut out for this shit.” I let it all rush out as I heard him getting dressed in the background, and the shuffle of clothes.

“I’m on my way, just hang tight, and get Baker out of the goddamn bathroom!” He yelled and I hung up without a goodbye as I rushed to the bathroom. I opened the door to find Zacky still throwing up.

“Zacky, man, you can’t stay out here.” I told him, and he shook his head.

“It-it can’t be mine, Br-Brian, man, it can’t. I-I can’t take this. I can’t do this.” He sat down, his back against the wall, his hands tugging at his hair in frustration.

“Zack, get the fuck up, be a man and go in there and fucking be with her through this!” I yelled and he stared at the floor for a moment before nodding.

“Alright. I’ve got this.” He said with a breath and got up from the floor and walked out.

“And make sure Matt’s alive!” I called after him, and walked out of the bathroom. I caught part of a scream as he opened the door, and goddamn…it even made my stomach churn. But I made my way back into the waiting room, and sat down, leaning my head back.

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“Brian, Brian, wake up.” I began opening my eyes to see Zacky’s face. I fell asleep. Oh my god I fell asleep.

“Is the baby here yet?” I asked and he just looked down. I stood up. “Zacky, what’s wrong?” I asked, and he took a deep breath.

“Give me a…” He trailed off, holding a finger up as he took another deep breath, and he seemed like he was going to cry.

“Is everything okay?” I asked and he shook his head. “Is the-”

“The kid’s fine but…but Saylee started hemorrhaging and she in surgery now.” His words hit me and knocked the breath out of me for a second, and I just sat down, and he sat down beside me, his head in his hands. I watched as Benji came from the hall, and just shook his head, wiping his eyes as he came over.

“What?” I asked, looking at Zacky.

“They said she might not make it out.” He whispered.

“What…what about…” What about what? What more was there to question? Saylee had begun hemorrhaging, they had to rush her to surgery, the baby’s fine, but Saylee may not make it. That was it.

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^*Matt’s POV*^
Skye Sanders was born at 3:13 AM on December 13, 2012. The information kept stamping itself into my head, but I couldn’t process it properly with all that had just happened. I walked out of the room, and down the hall, and into the waiting room. I felt everyone’s eyes on me as I walked over to the corner and sat down, staring at the floor. I…I didn’t know what to do. I was a father, I knew that much. I had a little girl, and Saylee and I had sided with the name Skye, just before she told me that she loved me one last time, and was rushed off, out of my arms, and possibly out of my life.

“Matt, are-are you okay?” Brian seemed to be struggling with his words, but I just stared at the floor as I shook my head.

“I can’t lose her, Brian.” I whispered, looking up at him, not bothering to hide the tears. “I love her too much to let her go.” He sat down beside me quietly, a hand on my shoulder.

“I know, Matt, I know, but you’ll get her back. They’ll be able to…to stop the bleeding and she’ll be back.” His voice got strained and he just stopped talking as I put my head in my hands, rubbing my eyes slightly as I tried to get the tears to go away, but they leaked through my fingers anyways. I swear I didn’t move for another hour, even after Brian got up from beside me, the sound of a sniff meeting my ears as I then brought my head from my hands and looked at the clock, seeing it was now nearly five AM. I just sighed, and started staring at the floor again.

“Mr. Sanders, may I have a word?” I looked up to see the doctor standing in front of me. I stood up, automatically worried.

“Is she okay?” My words came out so fast I almost thought he couldn’t understand.

“I’m sorry Mr. Sanders but we weren’t able to stop her from bleeding out, and she passed away a little over fifteen minutes ago.” His voice faded out, the words that slipped from his lips breaking my heart in two, and leaving me feeling like I just wanted to slip into the floor and crack into a million pieces, and never be put back together, because nothing could fix me. Then the thought of Skye hit me, and I remembered the very reason I was still standing on my own two feet, and not in the floor. I had a daughter, and I’d have to be there for her.

“What about Skye? Sh-she’s still okay, right?” I questioned, just needing to make sure and he nodded with a sad smile.

“She’s perfectly fine.”

“Can I go see her?” I asked and he nodded, and began walking, and I followed without hesitance.

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^*Zacky’s POV*^
I heard the doctor as he told Matt what had happened. Brian and Benji heard it too, and as soon as Matt left the room with the doctor, we all broke down. I couldn’t keep from crying any longer. She was gone, and nothing was going to bring her back, now. It was just something that surgery, or not even love could fix. Benji just got up, tears trailing down his face as he walked out the doors, and sat down outside of the door, still nearly in sight. I could only imagine how Matt felt. He was blessed with a daughter, and then cursed with the loss of the love of his life. Really, I was glad that the baby wasn’t mine, but it seemed that after knowing that Saylee died, that didn’t even matter anymore. I lost a best friend. I lost a sister, really. I knew Brian felt the same way.

“Brian,” I whimpered, my voice weak, and broken.

“Yea?” He choked out, his voice thick.

“She’s really gone.” I stated and he nodded.

“I know, but…but it’s all gonna be okay. Matt…Matt’s got a kid now, and he’s…” Brian stopped for a second, and I looked over at him, seeing him wipe his eyes and take a deep breath before he continued. “He’s going to need us.”

“We’ll be there.” I said and he nodded, sniffing.

“We’ve got to be.” He sighed and we both went quite for a moment until he continued. “We’ve got to be there for her, too.”

“Of course.” Matt’s like a brother, and that made his daughter not only my niece, but Brian’s as well. We’d always be there with him, and her, and through everything she’ll always have people who care, just like her mother did.

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^*Matt’s POV*^
The doctor led me down a hallway and into a room where a nurse was sitting with Skye, rocking her gently. The doctor opened the door and let me in, and as I walked in the nurse stood up, and handed her to me. I smiled as I looked down at her, and I heard the door shut as the nurse left the room. I sat down in the chair, Skye’s chocolate brown eyes watching me intently. I had to keep moving on, not just for Saylee, but for Skye, too. I’d give her a good life. I didn’t want anything less for her. She was my life now. She was who was going to keep me waking up every day, and moving on. She would keep me sane in the most insane moments. She’d keep me together; whole. But what hurt the most was knowing that Saylee isn’t going to be here for her. She won’t be here for her first steps, her first words…she wouldn’t be here to see her smile, hear her giggle, and comfort her when she cried. And Skye would never know the wonderful person she should’ve been able to call mom. It was all on me now to raise her right, and keep her headed in a direction that won’t lead her down some dark and fucked up road. I may not have Saylee anymore, but I still have my memories. I may not be able to make any new memories with her and Skye, but I’ll always have the old ones from not too long ago, and I’ll cherish them forever. I’ll never stop loving Saylee. She’s still in my heart, though, every second of every day, her memories locked away with mine, safe and sound. I brushed my hand by Skye’s face, ignoring the tears streaking down my own, and letting a smile come back as her tiny hands grabbed mine. It was just me and her. But we were going to be okay.

“We’re gonna make it.” I whispered. “Just me and you.” I’d go to the end of the universe and back for her. She was mine, and that was enough to keep me smiling through the pain.

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I was soon able to take Skye home from the hospital, which meant I was able to go home, too, because I lived in that hospital, never wanting to leave her side. I went back to Brian’s place, because I couldn’t take care of a kid on my own, just yet. Zacky, Brian and I…we acted okay, like everything was okay, and everything was going to be alright, and it was, until the day of the funeral. That was the worst day of my life. I had to be the one to call Shannon and Jimmy as well and deliver the news that Saylee hadn’t made it out of the hospital that night. Shannon didn’t take it well. She just burst into tears, and Jimmy had to take the phone. He didn’t want to believe it either, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Then I had to let him go because he had to get Shannon together before she had a breakdown. Saylee parents had been informed of everything just a few days before Skye got released, and they flew back for the week. They were estatic about having a granddaughter, but I could tell the loss of their own daughter killed them on the inside. I knew, because it killed me too. And at Saylee’s funeral, Benji went ahead and came out with the news that he was her biological father. I wasn’t actually all that surprised. They acted like father and daughter together, so it really just made sense. But that afternoon, Belinda and Sheldon barely said a goodbye before they flew off again. The news had upset them, and I understood that, in a way. They had already been under a lot, and that didn’t help at all. Zacky, and Brian helped out with Skye a lot. They had become obsessed with her, really. Every second they had to know where she was, what she was doing, if she was hungry, if she needed to be changed, and if she was okay. But I couldn’t blame them, because I was the same way. That girl had my heart, and I loved her so much it was crazy.

Things really came together with us all after Skye had been with us for a whole five months. Shannon and Jimmy came home, and that made everything a little brighter. Zacky, Brian and I loved having Jimmy back, and Shannon wasn’t having any auditory hallucinations anymore, and she was normal, which made it great to be around her and not have to worry for my life. Jimmy had proposed while they were in Russia, but with everything that had happened, a date for the wedding wasn’t set yet, but they moved into the house next to Brian’s in order to be closer. Benji came and visited at least twice a week, sometimes more, completely infatuated with his granddaughter. Things hadn’t completely healed yet from Saylee’s death, but we were getting there, one day at a time. I could only wish she was here to see Skye, though. I wished that every single day of my life. If only she could see her sweet grin, and her adorable brown eyes…if only she could see me. If only I could see her. I’d do anything to have her back in my arms. I’d do anything to hold her just one last time, tell her that I love her, and kiss her lips again. Just….one last time was all I needed, and I’d be okay. But I would be able to do that again. One day I’ll have her back in my arms. One day I’ll be able to kiss her lips again. One day I’ll be able to see her smile, and tell her that everything’s okay. That day may not be in the close future, but I’ll see her again one day. I knew for sure in my heart that I would.

For now I realize that everything that happened wasn’t for the worse. Me meeting Saylee opened doors that I had thought closed long ago. She showed me love, she taught me trust, and she put a feeling in my heart that I hadn’t had with anyone else before, and still have only for her. She also gave me a daughter. A daughter named Skye Sanders, which I love with every fiber of my being. Saylee died for a reason. She died because she knew that Skye would require all of the love in the world, and that in order for me to give her that, she had to go somewhere, knowing that with just a little time, we’d be together again. And so she did. She freed up a part of my heart, so I could love my daughter that much more. So I could love our daughter that much more.

In the end, it was all for the best.