Written in Stone

No one’s going to notice. The thought spoke again. It’s just to see for sure. The small glint of hope stated quickly. Someone might….

I dug my fingers deeper into my pockets; my hand curling around a small razor and a single pill; calming my nerves a bit as I walked the familiar path to the park. A pair of black sun glasses shaded my eyes while my newly colored red hair hung in my face. My new wardrobes making me feel a bit uncomfortable, since it wasn’t what I usually liked. But this is what I did, because I really had to know…

I spotted the group sitting around the old tree that I had used to climb. They were all chatting among themselves. A few of them perched in the tree while the others were on the ground or on a bench.

“Clayton!” Jennifer called happily when she noticed me making my way towards them still. She jumped up from her spot, hurrying over to me to engulf me in a tight hug.

“Hey, Jen.” I said politely patting her back.

She pulled away after her long hug and grabbed ahold of my hand dragging me towards the group and making me sit beside her on the bench. I looked around; everyone I had asked to be here was…plus some. Always lovely to see them….

“Hey,” I said giving them all a small smile and a wave.

“Hey, Clayton.” They all greeted me, making me feel like I was the center of attention in an AA meeting.

“So you wanted us to meet up so we could all talk about something?” Devin asked re-adjusting herself on the grassy ground, so that her elbows were resting on her knees.

“Yeah,” I scratched the back of my head. “Look I know that I’m new to your group and everything but I’ve heard that you all lost someone before I came into town and I wanted to talk about it and make sure you all were ok.” I lied, wanting to get this over with now.

“You want all of us to talk about Cory?” Annie asked from up in the tree. I nodded and she snorted and rolled her eyes. “I’ll pass.” She jumped from the tree onto the ground.

“Annie, come on.” Danielle said.

“No, I’m not going to talk about not missing or missing a guy who made my life a pain most of the time.” She hissed crossing her arms over her chest.

Danielle frowned at her best friend. “Annie, you were friends with him still and he was your ex. You loved him.”

“I’m sure he didn’t hate you.” I said politely and in all honesty. I didn’t hate her. I still very much loved her, but we weren’t good together…well at least not now.

“Uh-huh, sure.” She said leaning against the tree trunk.

“Well I miss him.” Jennifer said glaring slightly at Annie. Only cause you were madly fucking in love with me. I snapped in my head. “We used to have so many of the most amazing conversations about whatever and he knew just what to say.” She sighed slightly laying her head on my shoulder.

“Him being gone isn’t that much different then when he was here.” Dale said, Krista nodding at his side. I really hated them. I had wished so many times before that they would just jump off from a cliff and die. Horrible people like them didn’t deserve to be around certain people here.

“I kind of have to agree with them.” My eyes widened behind my glasses as I turned my head to see my ‘best friend’ who had just spoken.

“I thought you two were close, Kyle?” Laney asked from beside her sister. He shrugged his shoulders a bit.

“he was kind of a dick, Laney.” He said simply. “He made a lot of things depressing and he made things more of a fight with others, then he or it was worth.”

She shook her head, “That wasn’t his fault, Kyle. You know how things were for him.” She said quickly defending me. “And if he didn’t think something was right he stood by it.” Her eyes were filling with tears now.

“He was different with you Laney and you know it.” Krista spat.

“Oh, Shove it you jealous skank!” Danielle snapped. Shocking us all; especially cause she for no reason ever acknowledged her existence. “We all know that you’re just upset because he rejected you because of what you did.”

Laney placed a hand on her knee. “Dani,” She whispered, Danielle glared at Krista.

“Fuck you, Danielle.” Dale hissed, he grabbed Krista’s hand and the two of them stormed off without another look back. Good riddance to them.

“Why do you defend him?” Kelsey asked from up in the tree.

“What do you mean?” Laney asked confused.

“When you hear someone say anything abd about Cory, you have to go and defend him.” She said, “You make him out to be his great person. Like he actually cared about you guys.”

I watched Laney closely, as she shrinked back bit at her words. “He did, Kels.” She mumbled “He cared about all of us.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah that’s why he just left, without a word and treated us all like crap and acted like none of us did care.”

“That’s not true!” She said quickly.

“Lane.” Joe said softly. “You know it is.”

She shook her hear as tears filled her eyes. Danielle quickly jumped up from her seat and walked away from us not looking up. Laney quickly followed behind her.

“So none of you really cared that Cory’s gone?” I asked keeping my eyes on Danielle and Laney. They all shrugged and said a few stupid things that made hardly any sense but I think went along the lines of it didn’t bother them.

“Oh,” I tried to stand up but Jennifer had a death lock around my torso. “Jenn, let me go.” I said grabbing her arms. “I need to go check on them.”

After a bit of a struggle, I finally got out of her grip and was able to jog towards Danielle and Laney.

“Dani!” I heard Laney beg.

“Don’t Laney.” I could hear tears in Danielle’s voice. “Just leave me alone.” Danielle stormed off away from Laney. Leaving her to watch her helplessly.

“Laney?” I said standing behind her. “You ok?”

“No.” Sh said her voice cracking. She dropped to her knee’s, “Everything’s so messed up.”

I sat next to her and rubbed her back softly. “Is it what they said?”

She shrugged, “Partly…they don’t get it.” She sniffled. “He was a good guy. He cared, I know he did.”

I rubbed her back slowly. All of them were right. I treated them different because they go it and at least tired to help me deal with it. They didn’t toss me aside or ignore the issue. They deserved to be treated differently.

“What’s wrong with Danielle?” I askedShe sniffled, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. “They struck a nerve.”

“Oh?”

“They never got how important he had become to her.” She looked up at me through her eye lashes. “She never really told him this but he was her best friend.”

I felt my chest swell slightly. That I didn’t know…

“She still can’t really handle him not being there…” She looked back down at her hands. “I can’t help her and I can’t deal with her not talking to me….and it’s even harder when the person I have to talk to isn’t there for me….i don’t have my best friend to talk too…”

“Did he really mean that much to you?” I asked.

“He helped me get throught so much.” She breathed heavily. “I wouldn’t be here with out him.” She started to sob softly.

I pulled her into a hug. The first real hug I had given her in months. “You know he loves you right?”

She cried harder into my shoulder, shaking her head. “I don’t even know anymore Clayton.” She said through tears.

“Lane, I love you.” I said seriously. “You and Dani. You are my family.” She looked up at me through tears, confused. I quickly wiped away her tears. “You and Danielle are my best friends. Don’t question that I don’t love you guys.”

“Cory?” She sounded so confused.

“I’m sorry Laney.” I spoke regretfully. Her body shook in my arms and her tears rushed quickly from her eyes. I opened my mouth to say something else but I felt a sharp sting to my cheek. She shoved herself from my arms stumbling a bit.

“H-how could you d-do this to us?” She cried out. “We-e thought the most h-horrible things could have happened to you! We couldn’t get over the fact you we’re gone, we didn’t know what to think!”

“Laney, I’m sorry.” I said trying to pull her into a hug.

“N-no!” She sobbed, struggling to get away from me. She heartbroken tears coated her cheeks.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you and Dani.” I said squeezing her tightly. “But I had to know.”

“There are other ways of finding things out!” She shouted. “You didn’t need to fucking abandon us!”

I shook my head. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel like that, I just wanted to know the truth. To know if it is worth it or not.”

Her face turned red. “Well now that you see what they think, tell me,” She shoved away from me again more roughly this time standing up all the way. “Is it worth it?” I pressed my lips into a straight line. I couldn’t tell her. “Is it?!” She Demanded.

“I don’t know…”

She shook her head wiping her face angrily. “Fuck you Cory!” She turned away roughly and stormed away from me.

I shakely pulled the pill and razor from my pocket to look at them. “What do you need?” I whispered to myself. Something in my mind clicked and I dropped my way out from my hand. I quickly jumped up from the ground and ran after Laney. I threw my arms around her and pulled her back into my chest.

“Laney, I won’t give up if you guys stay with me.” I whispered into her ear clinging to her for dear life. “You and Danielle and Brady.” She stood stiffly and still. I heard her say something under her breath. “Huh?”

“I won’t give up on you. These scars won’t tear us apart. So don’t give up on me. It’s not to late for us…I’ll save you from yourself…”