Forever Young

I wish I could tell you that Zayn and I lived happily ever after. But, we didn’t. For the most part, nothing really changed once Zayn and I became official. I didn’t jet off to London and leave my old life behind. He was still across the pond, being his superstar self. And, I was still in Los Angeles, being my nobody self.

Granted, I was only a “nobody” because no one knew who exactly was dating Zayn. My identity was still a secret to the rest of the world (minus management, the families, the boys, and the best friends). I liked it that way, but I knew it was only a matter of time before the cat got out of the bag, especially since the boys were always doing interviews in anticipation of their new album.

“So, Zayn, you were quite frank with your fans on twitter recently when you told them you were in a relationship. But, keeping true to your mysterious ways, you have kept the lucky lady’s name to yourself. Are we worthy enough to be the interviewers that finally get her name?” one interviewer had asked him.

Zayn merely shook his head, “No, I think I’ll stick to my mysterious ways and keep it to myself, thanks.”

It drove the fans crazy. But, it kept me sane.

- - - - -

I could already feel the sand between my toes and smell the unique fragrance of the Pacific Ocean. Summer was within my reach. I only had to write a few more sentences and bam! I threw my pen down and shook out my right hand, gazing down at the final exam before me. I was finally done with my freshman year of college. I turned it in, smiling at my professor and hurried to pack up my stuff.

“Good riddance,” I thought to myself as I exited the classroom. I literally had to tell myself to not skip down the hallway. Yeah, I was that happy.
As I rounded the corner, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Slightly annoyed that someone interrupted my journey to summery bliss, I turned slowly. But I let go of my anger when I saw that it was Noah.

“Do you know that you walk really quickly?” He joked.

I laughed a little, “Sorry. I’m just really happy that everything is finally over.”

Noah nodded understandingly, “Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel the same way. But, I’m happy that I caught you too. I wanted to see if you wanted to have a little celebration dinner with me. Nothing fancy or serious, just burgers.”

I considered it for a second. Since our first run-in, Noah kept trying to invite me to places. I repeatedly turned him down, but he was just so damn persistent. Today, however, I was feeling pretty good. Before I could open my mouth to answer, a low growl came from my stomach.

Noah cocked his eyebrow; “I’m going to take that as a yes.”

I smiled, slightly embarrassed about my tummy growl, “Oh, why not?”

- - - - - -

I erupted in a fit of laughter, “Please tell me you’re joking!”

Noah looked down at his half-eaten Double Double, “I wish I could. But, nope. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life.”

I looked up at him and gave him a reassuring pat on the back, before shoving the last bite of my burger into my mouth. I decided that it was a good call on my part to take Noah up on his offer. For the first time in a while, I was genuinely enjoying myself.

“So, what are your plans for this summer?” He asked me, trying to keep the conversation going.

I just shrugged, “I don’t know really. I’m hoping to see my boyfriend at least once. But, with his crazy schedule, it’s impossible to tell.”

“At least once? Geez, what does this guy do?”

I racked my brain for a fake occupation for Zayn, “He’s a missionary. He’s always travelling to a bunch of different countries.” I mean, it was sort of the truth, right? Zayn travels to a bunch of different countries.

Noah examined me closely, “Is that hard for you? I mean like, how do you cope with not being able to see him for so long?”

Again, I just shrugged and whatever came to my mind came out of my mouth, “I don’t know. Some days, I’m okay with it. I talk to him everyday so that helps. But, some days, I’ll look at couples out in public and I’ll just get sort of lonely, you know? To be honest, we were almost never in each other’s actual company even when we were getting to know each other. So, I don’t even have that many cutesy, awkward-but-still-romantic moments to look back on, which sucks.”

All of a sudden, my mood made a total 180, and I felt the deepest loneliness that I had ever felt.

It was Noah’s turn to give me a reassuring pat on the back, “I don’t know how he does it. If you were my girl, I’d want to be beside you all the time.”

- - - - -

I collapsed on my bed, letting out a deep sigh. Zayn had texted me during my drive home, apologizing because he wouldn’t have time to get on his laptop for our daily Skype date. He had asked me to call him though, so he could hear my voice. But, I wasn’t about to let him hear the sadness in my voice so I made no attempt to call him. My eyes wandered over to my nightstand where there was a picture of Zayn and me. (Click here for the picture.)

I felt a lump begin to grow in my throat, but I swallowed it away. ”No, Keiko. Suck it up,” I thought to myself.

- - - - -

A couple weeks later, I found myself in a familiar little parlor on Hollywood Boulevard. While I waited for my name to be called, I thumbed through a gossip magazine. Coincidentally, my finger stopped on a page about celebrity couples and my eyes rested on a particular headline: ”Zayn Malik + Victoria Justice = Love?” The article went on to make up some story about how the two spent some “romantic” time together after One Direction’s show in Miami and jumped to the conclusion that Victoria is the lucky girl in Zayn’s life.

I just sighed and threw the magazine aside. Since the boys arrived in the US a week ago for rehearsals for the North American leg of their 2013 world tour, their names have been in the tabloids. With the boys’ busy schedule, sometimes the only time I got to see or hear from Zayn was through these stupid magazines.

“Keiko?” A scratchy voice called my name. I looked up and saw a burly man motioning for me to come to the counter. I grabbed my purse and bounded up towards him.

“Alright, so here’s what I drew up. It’s nothing much since you wanted to keep it pretty simple. Does it look good?” he passed a paper with a sketch towards me. I looked down at the neat script and smiled, as if to say that it had my complete approval. He smiled back at me and nodded his head, inviting me to the back of the shop.

I removed my top, leaving me in my floral bandeau, and lay on the table on my right side. The man pulled up a chair next to me and rubbed the area just below my left breast, “Are you comfortable? It’s not too late to back out, you know.”

I just shook my head, “I’m okay. I just got lost in deep thought.”

About an hour later, I hopped off of the table and examined myself in the mirror. Freshly tattooed on my skin were the words of C.S. Lewis: Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.

- - - - -

“You’re becoming like me!” Zayn smiled through the computer screen after I told him about my newest tattoo, “What is it? Can I see it?”

I shook my head shyly, “No, I’d have to take my shirt off and I feel like that would be a bit suggestive. Plus, it’s really red right now.”

He pouted, “But, Keiko, I can’t wait until August!” He paused and then smirked, “Unless…”

I rolled my eyes, “Zayn, I already told you. My boss isn’t letting me take any extended vacations, so I can’t leave to follow you guys around this summer.” He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off, “And, no! I’m not going to just fly out for one day. That would be too much of a tease. I’ll just wait until you guys get here.”

He looked deflated, but he mumbled an “okay.” We sat in silence for a little, staring at each other through the screen. After a few moments, Zayn spoke up again, “Can I at least know what it is?”

“It’s just a quote.” I said.

“Ok… what does the quote say?”

Before I could reply, my phone lit up with a text. I looked at the time and realized it was already noon, “Sorry, Zayn. I have to cut this short. I’m supposed to meet someone for lunch. I’ll talk to you later, okay? Love you!”

- - - - -

My eyes wandered from diner to diner and finally found a familiar face. I hurried over to the table and gave the person a friendly hug before plopping down on the seat.

“Sorry, Noah. I got caught in some really bad traffic,” I lied.